Captain

On 29/03/2024 at 4:05 PM, turboplanner said:

an explosion rivalling Krakatoa.

 

..... which Turbo had actually heard over his right shoulder as he was fighting for the East India Company and for Royal Dutch She'll, against the native inserectionists.

In a quirk of fate, at that instant Turbo asked the same question and muttered the same 5 words (WTFWT?) as were repeated by the mayor of Hiroshima some time later.

.... some bloke with a page boy haircut.

"Hail, for I am Sir Lances-slot and I am ......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

".....stick yo the code" said Turbo, but the highly polished shoes may give away one of out most tightly kept secrets"  and he crossed the little fingers of his right hand.

Raising the right eyebrow Cappy answered hi, sternly, but it seemed like the secret would get out when..................

.... everyone noticed that he had taken his "sword" out and was waving it at the ......

Was he just flashing it (plumbingref), or did he want to give the ladies a jab (avref)?

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"tenos I nawt het lear ginth nad I'm yinglf to porve it because ..........."

 

[Keen NES readers will note Cappy's very clever gradual conversion from Manchurian to English.]

Cappy notes that his recent long post has been removed by some drongo Moderatti Illuminatti.

Cappy assumes that is because of his strong assertions about which of the above is the "Master Race", his experience fighting beside Turdy up the Khyber, and his expose about the Knights of Malta, where both Cappy and Turbs are Grand Seneschals as well as both being Chief Armorers & Grand Marshals. (Little Danny Brown keeps calling both of us for details and information for his next scribblings, but we both just tell the little twerp to bugger off ... as Cappy and Turdy stick together like glue on such matters.)

...... I feel a strong responsibility to ......

Our strict Knightly code prevents us from identifying each other in the below secret photo, however it is obvious how happy and important Turbo & Cappy are. (As a little clue, neither of us are Stan Laurel).

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....jok to pe, especially when he sneds you a note saying .................

..... "Waht are you diong?"

To which I have always replied "Dno't sned me any mroe ........

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......i jok to, which means ....................

...... an identical sentiment to how all NESers feel about the Moderatti on this site, particularly #5, who is a definite ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......"floater".

This caused Wally Jing Lee to lose "face" and he went berserk in the Drifter, attempting to crash into the Hobart Clock Tower, but like all Chinese when berserk, pulled it to the left every time and eventually ran out of fuel and making a ditching in the upper reaches of the Derwent where a former WreckFly-In member and NESer, QWERTY waded out and dragged the bedraggled pilot and Drifter to shore. QWERTY had been knighted by the Tasmanian Governor for his services to Aviation and given ............................

• .... A certificate written on the last remaining skin of a Tazzy Tiger.
   
• A plastic knighthood badge made from recycled cans from the Devil's Brewery.
   
• Life membership of the Tazzy Tigers AFL Club (if it ever gets up).
   
• And access to the AFL Drug Taking Room down by the docks, complete with 20 free AFL Do-Not-Pass-Go Drug Passes (conditional only on Qwerty taking nothing more serious than ICE).

Qwerty was wrapped, but WJL was still really p ......

A SAMPLE PACK FROM THE DEVIL'S BREWERY.

Capt Bull is into bondage and his favourite is on the left, while his photo is 2nd from right, under which it says "Kiss my Hardy".

On 23/03/2024 at 7:15 PM, turboplanner said:

......the local sewerage farm, and this became known among the in-crowd as an "outlanding" (derived from "Outhouse, or Dunny").

Outlandings could be "easy", when the drying pond was only up to your knees or "tough" if your head went under, or .....................

.....dinarily, in such a case (Turboref), you would be classified as a .......

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....stop the engine turning over, after many failed versions he added a solenoid (note, a solenoid not a relay) which pushed a blade out into the prop's path. When he was just about at the bar he pressed a button and the blade extended and sheared the prop blades, and he was the new record-holder, but .........

.... at that instant he was classified as a glider, disqualified, and the croud were full of disdain.

Having been a closet member of the GFA for five decades, bull knew the feeling well and had never previously admitted his penchant for sailplanes, silence and ......

..... he removed the bottom of the propeller (the bit that was hanging down below the hub), to further decrease ground clearance, and while the vibration was a bit of an issue, bull was confident that 1.1 was achievable, if only he could ......

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......because blaspheming was not a thing that AUF aviators did and not only that but .........

.... given Australia's changing demographic, many of the members attend the Mosque instead of flying on weekends, or joined the Aerian Botherhood for the grog and the jokes.

As readers may have guessed, this plus the hard line Latin Mass Catholic membership, and the Hi-Church Anglicans, all had a bit of a polarising effect on the AUF, but apart from a few examples of AK47s being used during beat-ups/strafing runs at Fly-Ins, the AGMs of the AUF remained generally fun-filled and .......

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......bitcoin.

Besides his Extra, Wally flew a modified Drifter with long range tanks (two milk bottles) and......

.... that's certain to make anyone blaspheme. 

But nobody could ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....ing Lee.

Wally had been an aerobatics champion both here in Australia and all over Europe.

It was said that his snap rolls were better than what you get at Maccas, his Cuban eights left you smoking for life, but he got on the turps and ....................

..... after a few he went into foul language mode (he even said c@#^ in front of old ladies) and because he was bilingual he always swore in English and then translated each word into Chinese, so his swear jar penalty was doubled, but he always paid in .....

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Press Gallery's swearing money jar where the DirtMouth champion was announced every day, the most frequest winner being W..........................

..... ally "Potty Mouth" J.....

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

........being caught .................

.... with your hand on, or in, the .....

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......................straight, and if they printed that, then ........................

.... they would have copped the full weight of the Turbine, Turbine and Turbine legal chambers, who offer a one-stop-shop comprising a Turbine family member (from Article Clerk to QC/KC) to suit any and all legal circumstances, and that includes ......

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

However, the press .............

.... remained sceptical, Turbo says for the following reasons:

1 He had not paid them off as they required ...... just like Don Lemon, they wanted $5 million upfront, a free Cybertruck or Corvette, editorial input, substantial free equity in the Turbine Industries holding company, and free grog.

2 Tubb used words of more than 1 syllable and that scared them.

3 Turbo had no sisters to offer them.

And in addition, Turbo was a ......

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... Turbine Industries holding the original AI registration and the other people not compliant with a rule introduced in 1993 requiring anyone not happy with his Registration details to respond by registered lette within 24 hours of receiving there new Certificate.

Captain Bull, meanwhile was holding up the traffic with a trawler full of stinking prawns and ....

..... a bad attitude.

So Capt. Bull took an example from the European farmers, and spread his manky prawns up and down Davey St and they completely covered Despard St.

Capt. Bull has always been in awe of Turbo's wealth and commercial success, but he was also in wonderment of Turbo's AI efforts, and as a tribute, instead of saying things like "How are you go'n, Eh?" he started to say "How are you go'n, Eh-I" ..... or after giving an order to the galley slaves and escaped convicts in the crew, he taught them to say "A-Aye Skipper".

With that and Turbo's support, plus the fact that the trawler became free street-front office space in the very buoyant/overheated and booming Tasmanian commercial real estate market, Hobart and DE Lorraine became the AI capital of the world, as they already had the essential thousands of computer nerds/technicians and that meant that Turbine AI was .......

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........the mainstream Intelligent Artificialists.

But for once, the pubic didn't seem to catch on and .................

..... Turbo was forced to go back, cap-in-hand, to the Registrar of Companies at the UN, and apply for a change back to "AI".

This was opposed by Elon, Steve Jobs, Harvey Weinstein, Mark Zuckerburg, Michael Jackson, and 5 other billionaires who have their fingers in the AI pie.

When questioned about his chances, Turbo remained tight lipped (which is his only part that remains "tight"), but he appeared to smirk with boyish confidence and seemed aggressively hopeful, which indicates .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....manipulated; there's a lot of that going around lately, and we shouldn't pick on people who manipulate.

So Captain Bull went off in search of a package, or at least a .............

..... a small parcel, or even an envelope.

The above doctored photo encouraged, nay forced, Captain Bull to develop his own AI company in order to solve the world's AI problems, or at least that is what he claims. However Cappy has seen his Business Plan and the entire aim is that to build it up using some fake accounts in Tasmania, then franchise it nationally, and ultimately flick it to the big dog at Turbine IA.

The name of the company was supposed to be Turbine AI but Turbo had been tired at the time that he registered it just when his dislexia had kicked in ...... so Turbine IA it is, and his aim now is to convert the world to consider IA as ........ 

56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........has put fear into the local community who can't tell the difference.

It's said that folks in Launceston are ordering their shopping from Coles Online rather than wheeling out the Humber, just in case Jackie's out there ready to give them a good dressing down, Army style.

 

[Mohammad Bin Toro shown below taking advantage of the launch of the new AFL the Tasmania Devils.

The T stands for Devil in Cajun. Note the screwed up face and the fact that he is holding the banner as far away from his nose as he can; the team's new mascot, Tassie the Devil has already christened it.

Your beloved Captain, being a stickler for the Jedi codes of order and discipline, does not know how to proceed, as Tubb has denied the world any continuation dots.

But Cappy is a maverick and will take a chance that his best mate was just tired when he wrote his last tome.

..... Army style ..... which can be enjoyable if you have received the right training.

The biggest issue for Captain Bull and his quest for parliamentarianism is that he and Jackie do look strikingly similar with their clotes on, and Tasmanians are divided, in that some find that erotic in a uniquely Tasmanian way, and some find it a little repulsive.

To demonstrate this further, Cappy posts the below photo without saying whether it is Captain Bull or Jackie L ............ save to say that the Coffee Lady has told Cappy that Captain Bull has the type of "package" that Jackie admitted to the Canberra press gallery that she finds so attractive and necessary.

Both Jackie and Bull think that the below photo looks .......

Which one do you think this is?

..... went so far as to suggest that bull (now Captain Bull of the much feared and revered Tasmanian Merchant Navy [Davey St sub-branch]) is standing in the Tazzy election as Mohammed bin Toro, in order to clinch the Muslim, Garbage Collectors, and Bovine votes (you only need 8 votes in Tasmania and you are in), but he keeps being mistaken for Jackie Lambie and that .....

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Older Tasmanians (cuers) were having some difficulty with their new language but ..........

.... the younger Generation Sigma people loved it, so they built a bullfighting arena, encouraged the all hours opening of Tapas Bars, listened to Zydeco bands, adopted penguins as pets and barracked for the Pies, eh?

The usually stagnant Tasmanian economy.......

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........the Tasmanian language.....................

..... which is a peculiar yet confusing but interesting blend of ancient creole, Collingwood prepubescent slang (which apparently floated over the Tasmania when Melbourne sewerage was untreated), Antarctic outpost Spanglish (after all, they are closer to Antarctica than they are to Sydney) and over recent years there has been an strange infusion of a Queensland central coast twang, ....... where sentences are 3 words or less and all end in "Eh?"), that has all lead to ...... 

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......running over fences as the the Tasmanian media closed in. 

Damian was found hiding in an outhouse and Dave was interviewed by the Mercury reporter under a big gorse bush. What he had to say was ....................

...... pretty standard fare for Tasmania, but totally astounding to Northerners who were not used to .....