Captain

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Mustang Convertible.

The room fell silent because the teacher had asked the same question and found that Garry still had 23 DUIs to clear through the Courts along with .........................

 

.... an ingrained hatred of Ford products. 

"Bugger the Mustangs, I'm a Corvette groupie, just like Turbo, and look where that's got him"

Gazza then paid an additional tribute to our very own Turdboy by saying ".......

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....was forced to go back and fly that fateful mission that made television history around the word, won him a Medal of Honor and condemned him to touring schools and being asked questions for the rest of his life.

It was at Great Falls, Montana Junior High that ......................

.... Little Jimmy (they have the same snotty Little Jimmys over thar in Maataana, as we have in Oz) said "Hey Teach, if this bloke is so good that he gets a gig talking to little kids like us, why doesn't he also have a .....

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

In the morning the Carrier went to General Quarters and Garry..........

... went to Private Quarters, but the Private wasn't too keen, so Gazza .....

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Admiral profoundly apologised for the emabrassment he had caused and then said .............

..... "OK then, young Gazza, I shall rename you Commodore (or Falcon if you are a Ford fan) Garry Monoclacker, and I endorse you for ....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Garry was greeted by the Captain (the Captain, not THE Captain) who said ......"

..... congratulations Twobottoms, come below, as we have had a special head (karzyref) made for you".

"No" replied Gazza "That's just my name, and not a biological fact, so I am but a normal mono-ding person and my name was just a ......

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....foredeck [avref, Carrier] said Garry Twobottems, I'm gunna fly my Foxhit whether it's safe of not. How dangerous can it be compared to working on the wharves?

 

This was considered to be a good point but quite a large sector of the RBNF until Garry proved how silly it was by .....................................

..... trying to land the Foxhit downwind with the carrier (avref carrier) pointing into the 20 knot breeze while doing 23 knots.

The worst bit was the jumpup that is usually at the departure end of the flight deck, but Garry ......

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Now they were about to regroup, head for Vietnam and return the favour.

However, after their lack of "work" on the wharves, they had all porked up to major proportions so that their tour party got stuck when they visited the tunnels.

"Even though they are Commos rike us, we just chuck a grenade in and brow them out" said Rip Van Tran Win Kill, who had always wanted to knock over a few white-eyes ever since his uncle had been shot in 1968. 

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"If they don't do their W&B they'll die!" Epaulette said using his favourite word which has driven thousands of students into compliance.

 

"I don't give a ............................................."

.... flying (avref) f.......

Trudy at the Narromine Rissole where the AUF shindig was held, where she presented prizes provided by the VUF.

Turbo was on her arm (but was that all?) that night, however he stepped to the right so as to be out of shot (executionref).

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

And he was correct because the Queenslanders has just...

..... removed any requirement to consider W&B for all members of the QUF.

QUF membership blossomed as all AUF members from other states used a caravan park address to join up and ......

Dear Readers ...... Cappy has some said news to impart that one of the members of the VUF has been sentenced to death and the following describes the details.

Cappy had met Truong (Trudy to all her Aussie mates) numerous times when she attended NatFly events every year, and she was a nice lady, although Cappy had the impression that she might be a bit shifty ..... which is not good for 3 axis machines, although OK for weight shift trikes.

The big issue for the NES, and why I mention it here, is this news must surely put Turbo at some risk, as the business model used by Van Thinh Phat Holdings Group (VTPHG) was a mirror, in fact a dead spit copy, of Turbine Enterprises ...... and Turbo has been a consultant (plus he may have provided other services too) to Mrs Lan. The amounts of money involved as set out below are also similar to the annual turnover at Turbine Enterprises.

Real estate tycoon Truong My Lan was sentenced to death yesterday for siphoning $12.5B from Saigon Joint Stock Commercial Bank. It is the largest fraud case in Vietnam’s history and comes amid a government-led crackdown on corruption. 

Lan is the 68-year-old chairwoman of Van Thinh Phat Holdings Group, a real estate firm tied to high-end properties. From 2011 to 2022, Lan used shell companies and proxies to gain control of over 90% of SCB. She then secured loan approvals to ghost companies, tapping SCB for cash and stealing the equivalent of over 3% of Vietnam’s gross domestic product. Her loans accounted for 93% of SCB’s total lending. Lan and co-conspirators were also convicted of bribing officials $5.2M to overlook violations.

..... his management of heavy issues of AUF politics, because he was convinced at an early age that these can adversely affect Weight and Balance, ...... as opposed to normal weight issues that just ......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

OET ...........

...... didn't get around too much as she just stood on one leg and gazed off into the distance ........ when she wasn't falling over.

OET was the inspiration for the identifying monika of a well-known aviation expert from WA, who is a friend and a big help to all members of the Wreck Frying 4Rum and he often gives lectures, invited to or not, on how best to keep the sand out of your engine during an oil change.

These are worthwhile lectures for all 3 of the WA AUF membership, but are a yawn for everyone east of the WA/SA border, where the eastern states membership mainly just want to know about .......

PS - In Melbournistan, the big question, is what size umbrella is needed for an oil change, whereas in Tasmania the dominant topic over recent days has been "What is all this white stuff?

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Missy ...............

.... went straight for the top.

"If I can get past the Turbine Security guys tonight, and if just if, one of youze would be willing to fake having a conjugal with me, I reckon we can get Turbo to resign just like Scotty M did ..... then we can all bugger off for a holiday in France or Kingaroy on another couple of $ million".

Turbo had many plants within the croud, and they reported all of this to him quick stix (his time at the top of the CIA and the FBI was really paying off, big time), but he was also keen to see Missy get .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"........wipe that smirk off his face with a little more effort?"

"No probs" she replied and sauntered off.

Not many people know that PooKacka (formerly Convictsville), renamed by the Kacka Aboriginal Corporation in 2023 after gold was discovered there had become a .................

 

..... key central location for the AGI.

The Aboriginal Grievance Industry sublet a complex of 130 office suites, Lunchrooms, Gyms, Secret Men's Business Rooms and Middens from Turbine Native Peoples and Cultures Pty Ltd, who also do something similar in the Inuit Community up north.

Every Aboriginal Grievance Practitioner (AGP) was compelled to set up their Chambers there, in a manner somewhat similar to the way that Barristers cluster for mutual support.

So, Noel Pierson had rooms adjacent to Lidia Walsh, who had her office over the left side of Charlie Perkins' family, Tommy Mayo took 2 suites, and Albert Namatjira's great grandson was still turning out paintings of River Gums using the latest AAI (Aboriginal Artificial intelligence) techniques.

Into this thriving community of grifters, Missy Higgins fitted in like a ........

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......come darn heah for a sec so we can have a littke chat." 

Fois always started out being your friend, but lie his women, never finished that way so Cappy selected WOT  bound for Kapooka, Koopacka, Pakooka,......anywhere and .................................

.... ,as a result, landed in PooKacka, where he met up with his old friend from the Gobbledygookup Institute, Missy Higgins, who had just completed successfully setting up a Prime Minister and been awarded with a couple of million smackeroos for her trouble.

"Do you think?" he asked "That you could perhaps ......

On 07/04/2024 at 3:50 PM, turboplanner said:

With the FoI outwitted (or so he thought) he soon had the Bushcaddy  off the ground. noticing that eagle's beak stuck up in the air, the FoI realised he'd seen it before.......in his caravan........he reached for the radio mic .......

..... pushed the clicky button thingy on the side and said, in his best authoritarian and big brave public servant's voice (he had been educated initially at Moorabbin Public, then did the short/compressed course at GobbledyGookup) "I say there, old chap. Will youze please ........

It is little known, by other than those who study the history and details of Australia's early Federation, that the town of Gobbledygook is located partway along the back-road between Southern Cross and Bunbury ....................... since named Gobbledygookup to make it fit in better in WA.

The Gobbledygookup Institute is run by Turbine Elocution & Deportment PLC and is where all budding Politicians and Public Servants must report for a 24-month course, before they are admitted to the Canberra Gravy Train.

Gobbledygookup is therefore also the most boring place on earth .................... and not just because Turbo has his Summer Residence there.

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.......bureaucratic gobbledegook that all Canberrans speak, then we might be able to understand the points you're trying to make! As it is, we can only..........

.... assume that you must really believe this .....

..... asked the obvious question about an issue that was at the top of everyone's list.

"Are my interpersonal skills up the .....

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As he was walking around he noticed a new Bushcaddy in the circuit. As it was taxying in he noticed the signwriting "Turbine Aviation - gets you there fast!" and ........

..... there is certainly no doubt that a Solar T62-T32 in a Bushcaddy does make them go like a cut cat.

"Bugger the Sonex thingy or the Cirrus jet" said a leading and influential AUF member (paid under the table by Turbine Draft and Corruption Co) "It's a Turbine driven BC for me" and the sales went exponential with the only restriction being the limits on the numbers of Military Surplus Solar engines.

"Leave it to me" said Tubb during a BC Production Meeting "We'll take over the Pentagon, which I'll rename as either The Turbagon or The Pentabine, and I'll put Mark Milley in-charge of retiring Solar engines as soon as they reach 50 hrs, so that the BC production line can ......

23 hours ago, Captain said:

..... other bits, which encouraged Cappy to .....

...... do what Turbo and he often did on their lonely nights up the Khyber, ....... or as the CT does up the Australian equivalent of the Khyber, at DG, as he listens to the 5 sacred babbling brooks, .......... or as our great friend Onetrack does during the loneliness of a WA nighttime sandstorm .......... or as Capt Bull does under a cloudless sky somewhere in the vasts of the Tasman ......... and that is to .......

..... other bits, which encouraged Cappy to .....

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Cappy screamed like a Pilliga Yowie and Doubtfire, who was on her second warning .................

 

..... for flicking the heads off 2 big browns, but here she was now, reaching down to have another go, and Cappy sort of volunteered by .....

..... flicked it like a stock whip, as we all do with 6 ft brown snakes.

As a result, ......

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......he has suffered more serious burns than we thought and is in the Brisbane Womens Hospital chatting up the nurses. Of course the Bushcaddy incident attracted the newsmedia, and some started talking about the way he ties his har back and plaits it into a pig tail. This aroused suspicion in some quarters that ..........

..... our much beloved Captain might actually be a "Captette".

While Turbo has made light of Cappy's burns in his last post, it turns out that his burns were much more severe and way more extensive than anyone first suspected, such that he had to fight the nurses off in their attempts to rub soothing coconut oil on the affected area, which was also very ........