Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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NTTIAWWT ..... but that is what many NESers had warned Cappy about, and why many had quit the NES or even trying to be mates with Turbo. .... except that by the application of deductive reasoning they could see the Murrumbidgee to their north and the Murray to their south, so between these 2 great minds of the aviation caper, they could work out that if they continued west, they would soon be in the "City of Churches" and could both atone for their wicked ......
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.... a very serious dichotomy within the NES, as while the sword had severed the centrally located 3rd leg, it had gone within inches of subjecting Cappy and the free-love loving ladies of Australia to a fate worse than death, yet still, Luigi and his Griffith based threat needed to not be left unaddressed, but more serious than all that is the NES 's standard mantra that you never allowed Turbo to take up that position, so poor Cappy was in a pickle and could only ....
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..... cute little heifer, and he then took off the other two (Cappy had been doing his Jake-The-Peg routine when he last costumed up). Then Luigi Manjioni, a part-time Ringer from Griffith, took offence at Turbo's use of the big shoe sound effects "WOP, WOP, WOP" and said "That's cultural misappropriation, maaate". "I didn't author that" replied Cappy, "So have a chat with Turbo if you have a complaint, particularly if it involves sleeping under a cement carpark". "Don't tark to me about cultulal misapplopliation in the Never Ending Stoly" interjected Nobu to Ruigi "As I am a plime example of wlongful.......
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Not many people know that Turbo's need for the "bathroom" is fairly normal at about 5 am his time, and Cappy was relying on the fact that his great mate would be indisposed for his usual 23 minutes. But worry not, Tubb, as Eeeaaan has doubled the prize for reaching 2000, and after all, it's only taken 18 years to get to where we are.
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... he was classified as a .....
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Cappy thanks Eeeaaan for the Certificate, the other Awards, and for the Cash Prize.
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..... Nhill B&S Ball and Buck-Jump, which holds the record for the number of times harmless Ringers were "Bucked" in the camping area ...... which mostly occurred in the 4-person swag competition, which everyone agreed was fun, but a trifle erky perky too. Cappy was in full clown makeup, occasionally doubling as Ronald down at Mackas, and occasionally accommodating the matrons of Nhill who were interested to try out his barrel, ahead of the turmoil of the Buck-Jump. Cappy had "done alright for himself" in the week leading up to the event in Nhill, and had been invited to quite a few properties to show off his big shoes and his matching large .....
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.... becaase she waas also a buck jumper, aand Caapy waas aalways.....
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.... as all of the little kids had seen the video of monkeys jumping on the back of the wild boars, as show below, and they all did it. bull was worried about corporate and personal liability ..... but then realized that parents were paying high premiums to allow their nippers to do this, so he tripled the fee and brought in bigger and more dangerous pigs. That also meant that .....
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.... and even after he scrounged up the occasional tough & oversized feral moggie off a property at Deni, that had been fighting wild tuskers for a few years, bull would pass it off as some exotic wildly uncontrollable man-eating African cat, & the Saudi's would knock it off and take it home sitting on the parcel tray of their white and gold Rolls Royces, and keep it for a pet, ..... that was until the .......
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..... and a request for Mel to go on a date with hm to the Mar-A-Lago Mackas. bull could do this in Florida, as he was a celebrity at all Mackas stores, because in addition to the several Mackas outlets at his Aussie complex, he also had the franchise rights all the way along what became known at the UN as "bulls Jeddah, Medinah & Riyad Canal" (thebJM&RC), and he also had jetties built all the way along to allow the largest of Supertankers, and his own fleet of private Superyachts, to pull up and send an apprentice up to grab Mackas, a diet coke and a McFlurry for each of the crew. The success of bulls Canal was .....
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....eople entered into a dangerous regime of self-congratulations, as the Iranian dust-up thingo wasn't yet over, ..... however bull had an all-knowing cheshire grin on his dial. Then Reuters turned up to interview bull because, unbeknownst to everyone else, including bull's mate Don, the D11's had been let loose and had connected the Persian Gulf to the Red Sea via a mile wide canal. As the world congratulated bull for solving world peace and getting the cost of oil down below $AU 20/barrel, in true modest bull form he said to Reuters "Those are all OT's D11's, so it is he that deserves the accolades, what with his productivity enhancements and hotted up engines (OT uses the Sarich fuel injection converted to CATS), so the D11's made short work of traversing Saudi Arabia with a 900 km long copy of the Corinth Canal, and there were already 1700 tankers traversing the canal both ways. bull was nominated for, and won, every Nobel prize that year and he ......
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.... the Wedding Slot Machines and Blackjack tables were added, with the croupiers wearing white veils and throwing rice + confetti each time a punter has a small win. The result was spectacular for bull and he ..... Cappy notices the suss sexual connotation of Tubb's calculated & deliberate use of this term, particularly with its close connection within the story to marital vows & religious contexts etc, and Cappy wishes to make the point that his use of the word "Slot" is completely unconnected.
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.... also preached at the Baptist church on Saturdays. Turbine Religious Inspiration and Supplies (TRI&S) suddenly realised that this was the opportunity that they needed, so they .......
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..... before it was all calmed down by Turbine Security and Collection Plates PLC, and after a few of the attendees were given a good clip, things settled down and the collection could be taken. Now I'm not saying that stand over tactics were used, but when the guy with the collection plate stands there for an inordinate time eyeballing each attendee, and menacingly touching what looks to be a Beretta 38 under his cassock, until everyone had a 3rd dip into their wallets and purses, then you can be pretty certain that ......
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..... bull had snuck in an Old Testament Fire & Brimstone sequence that he had designed to address the needs of the .....
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Turbo appears to have gone on a sabbatical after his latest walk-on-water performance, and Crappy has been tempted to just undertake multiple AI generated posts through to take the "1000 page" major prize that Eeeeaaan has offered. But alas, he cannot, as he is just too honorable.
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..... that bull had hired Turbo to do at 3 shows/day + Matinees on Sat and Sun. Turbo had been chosen as he was certainly the nearest look to a "Jehovah" type character that bull had ever seen, and Tubb had shown his prowess when he accidentally touched bull (NTTIAWWT) & cured him of a persistent in-growing toenail, and a bout of leprosy, when they attended the Melbourne Cup together in 1986, so .......
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..... Turbine Catering tuned up with 15 tonnes of loaves and fishes, and the crowd declared it to be a miracle, that only .....
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..... the guests all went down on one knee and "thanked the bull" ..... after bull arranged for Leonard Cohen to sing each of them his personal rendition of Hallelujah. And this is where the 1st cracks appeared in the bull entertainment complex, when he built a cathedral sized chapel in the name of "st bull the worker", with a centerpiece of a Maltese Cross behind bull's face, above the recently discovered "Shroud of Bowen", while he was .......
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.... , as bull is a true ideas man, so he contacted Elon, and retained his Boring Company to create what might be the ultimate thrill ride, so he had The Boring Company hollow out an exact replica of The Large Hadron Collider on the other side of "The Bruce" so that his lucky punters could experience supersonic speeds for an hour, while sitting in little titanium capsules running on used SKF ball bearing races. The concept was so original and successful that bull, now with the number of staff greater than Amazon, .....
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Maccas really do know their marketing, and given the success of the Parwyn JV, they called the free-meal deal a "Mcbull" and they created a new "bull macdonald" character, who looked a bit like a cross between Alf Garnet and the hamburgler, but as bull so often says during his speaking tours, there is no such thing as bad publicity. Although they didn't get too many kiddies wanting him to host their birthday parties.
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In an important conciliatory and commercially astute move by the Parwyn Organization, Turbine Engraving & Podiatry were offered exclusive rights to provide the Padlocks (no others were permitted) and then to Engrave them with a set of standard (but long, based on $5 per letter) messages.
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..... as most people know, who haad been following the NES, in order to comply with the metric services act, that should have read "5.022 kms" .... but Cappy also makes the point that this was not an error that could be ascribed to bull, nor any of the boards, sub-boards and executives of the Parwyn (or parwyn) organisation, this was just Turbo being overly sensitive to somebody considering his miss-typing, and a slight jealousy that bulls Parwyn success has eclipsed his own in column mm's over recent times. The causeway became an instant success, as it could be seen from space and soon, lovers from all over the world were coming to attach padlocks to the thousands of padlock-attachment-points (pap's) that bull had cleverly built in. After the padlock-attachment-ceremony (pac) the punters were all directed through into the one-way Parwyn/Maccas complex, where they .....
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bull was surprised and amused when he received a letter from Mackas, who claimed that in golden sunlight, The Big Squirt looked just like their Golden Arches because of matching the Parwyn Perfect Parabola to the Mackas signs nearby on the Bruce. This didn't worry bull because his Parwyn enterprise was now bigger than some half baked US Hamburger cooker. ..... a large group of Slovaians turned up at the security gates of his guarded compound (bull has more security staff than does Elon), and ......
