Captain

A little known picture by Nev Streeton of Cappy in Ral Ral Ave at Renmark. (Nev's mum called him Arthur but Cappy and his other close mates always knew him as Nev).

(This avenue was supposed to be named after your ever humble Captain, but some dill spelt it wrong ….. twice …... just like Byron Bay got it wrong when they tried to develop the joint in honour of Bryon). "We don't mind" said both Bryon and the Skipper "As we are happy to fly (avref) a little under the radar (avref) with our public personas".

a trifle sensitive what with his nutplates (avref) being a bit tight and all,

 

thus he needs to be gently led back into the NES fold rather gently and respectfully else he .................

 

.... goes missing again.

The active NESers and the hundreds of readers, were unanimous in chanting "Turbo, Turbo, Turbo is our man, man, man and Onesie proposed to fly (avref) over the Renmark and steer Bryon towards the .......

...and the oine not lead by Cappy, for there was tension in the air (avref/weather ref)......

 

........ as Bryon had just returned from the Byron Bay Blues (depressionref) and Roots (sexualref) Festival (hippyref), where the 1st word had been named in tribute to him but they had spelt it wrong and the 2nd last word gave him hope until the CWA ladies gave him another knockback.

"but that's no reason to ferment unrest within the NES" said bull quizzically & somewhat disillusionedally "by claiming that there is tension in our midst?"

"Steady on there bull, old friend" said the Skipper, ever the team player "Bryon is just .....

SEE HOW BRYON AND THE SKIPPER MUST BE BROTHERS? JUST LOOK AT THE SIMILARITY OF THEIR THOUGHT (SIC) PATTERNS (AVREF) IN THE ABOVE 2 POSTS ....... MODERATOR 17.

MEETING IN BONE TOMORROW TO COORDINATE (AVREF) THEIR RESPONSE. ........

 

with the appointment of a coordinator in chief being the first agenda item

 

all the potential candidates for the role split into two camps the one lead by Cappy ....................

 

........ proposed a gyroscopically controlled coordinator, while the one suggested by Turbo was just a ball (actually it was an old dibble that he used to play with in his pocket [that was what he used to tell people who caught him doing it]) which he had glued into a glass tube and filled with vodka (which demonstrates what a cheap drunk he really is), but it worked fine and ......

....lime green and gold mankinis whilst.......

 

...... trying to hide his nipples (lubricationref) before they could be ......

AND INTO THE NES SWEEPS BRYON FROM BYRON, USING FLASH UPPER CRUST WORDS LIKE "WHILST".

THE NES HAS CERTAINLY BEEN RAISED A LEVEL OR TWO BY BRINE'S RENEWED PRESENCE AND THE REGULARS ARE NOW PACKING-DEATH (ANOTHER UPPER CRUST HYPHONATED WORD) AND ARE MEETING IN BONE TOMORROW TO COORDINATE (AVREF) THEIR RESPONSE.

"I didn't know that his name is Louise" commented Heidi.

 

"Oh yes" replied Tubb "But he prefers to be known as ………………….

 

....... Trudyplanner, drive an MX5 (poorman'scorvetteref), write controversial posts on Wreck Flying (avref), and wear .......

"Geez Louise Ahlow, you have certainly aged.

 

"I didn't know that his name is Lousie" commented Heidi.

"Oh yes" replied Tubb "But he prefers to be known as ………………….

of luvly door skins  and seat covers for the rv6/7/9 etc,,,Oh No cried out Turbo,,i,d just ordered a new rv6 just because I liked the seats[several aviation references]What do I do now,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well growled a voice from way down the back of the bar maybe you should...………...

 

.... come and sit down here near your old buddy Ahlocks."

"Geez Louise Ahlow, you have certainly aged (a spring chicken you are not) and gotten croaky since you buggered off from the NES" commented bull with a whisp of pathos and a .....

.......BBQ was about to start Crocodyllus Unitraccis waddled up the beach arming with a pen knife and offering to cut off the ..................

 

....... nation's supply of ......

"I've never seen them so close to shore and not moiving when you approach" said Madge to the local butcher. What she hadn't noticed was CH's eye which was slightly open, or the shadow of CU next to a Mangrove tree, which seemed to be moving.........

 

......, for it was the lead scout from the bone CWA kill squad who were looking to stock up for their Croc Fry-Up that was held as the lead stall at the bonekosh international airshow and fly in extravaganza, where thousands of new aircraft are sold each year and which attracts tens of thousands of antipodean and asian pilots for 2 weeks of aviation (avref) activities and high jinks.

"Me and my mates ruv cloc burgers flom the CWA McClocodire and Hungley Clocs lestaulants" said Knoboo in a plomotional video.

However just as the .....

..... I hear that there are a couple of crocs down at the creek that are AI (anus-intact), and we can have a heap of fun before we go out to bone international for our practice as the Tyro Aerobatic Team Close Formation Team (known as the Blue Diamonds of FNQ), however the crocs ........

 

..... had other ideas, and their own pen knives, with which to ......

.......settling down rowdy’s like HiHo, Capt and OT when they interjected with points of order and that stuff. “All I want to do is fly” said Turbo, but....

 

..... I hear that there are a couple of crocs down at the creek that are AI (anus-intact), and we can have a heap of fun before we go out to bone international for our practice as the Tyro Aerobatic Team Close Formation Team (known as the Blue Diamonds of FNQ), however the crocs ........

All agreed there should be more Tyros in the air and bull.......

 

....... handed out beautiful little Tyro badges made from mango pips & the spines from stone fish, all set in a circular setting made from crocodile ani. (the plutal of anus). (The crocodile protection society were snakey due to all the crocs that were really angry after being caught and released and the small circular incision being made).

So the "Save the Tyro Association" or the STTA in avspeak , was borne and thrived under Turbo's patronage, not to mention bull's fine chairmanship which went a long way to .....

......Turbine Music, which was making a fortune for its singers, who were consistently hitting the top of the Itunes chart, by teaching them to sing. "The essence of a hit song is that is has a tune, and some sentences; get that right and you'll be on top of the Charts" Turbo, the founder of Turbine music explained as he stepped into his Challenger Executive Jet bound for............

 

......... his meeting with Phil Spector. (It was actually Turbs who was the originator of Phil's "Wall of Sound" and the royalties for that had gone a long way to contribute to the Turbo Inc empire, and to pay for the Vette.)

Turbo and Phil had been mates for years and Turbo often carries a pistol too. You can see in the below photo how similar was their taste in haircuts and pink specs.

Both Tink and Phil were still mourning the death of their best friend Jeff Epstein and their loss of privileges on his jet (avref) to the Caribbean.

"It's like when Ansett (avref) went broke" commented Turgid "And I lost a couple of million points."

But Phil and Turbs had a great surprise planned for bull (known in bone and the NES as "The Silent One .... or TSO in aviation speak)" who was the 4th member of their foursome (erky perky eh?) because they had a .......

A rare photo of Turbo in the gallery to give support at one of Phil's trials

"There once was chappy called Cappy

 

"who went all sing song and clappy

 

"when offered a snifter

 

"and talk of a drifter

 

"that was our chappy called Cappy

 

...... the offers that Heidi received once this fantastic creation went public on the NES.

Move over Julian Lloyd Webber.

P Diddy has written to Heidi for the rights to be used in his next hip-hop & Rap song.

In addition, the Hillsong Church noticed the clappy and happy reference and wanted to sing these lyrics to the tune of ACDC's (onesie'ssexualpreferenceref) Hells Bells, directly ahead of communion.

But Heidi held tough in order to get a combined deal signed with ......

MR DIDDY GETTING READY TO NEGOTIATE WITH HEIDI.

Consequently he fell into a complete blue funk and pleaded with moderator #1 , "please could .............

 

...... the NES be required to stick to aviation (avref) matters, and not be diverted away onto musical issues which are the obvious first loves of both Heidi and TinkiWink.

The Cap has had a considerable amount of involvement in the US recording industry and knows all of the performers well in the black R&B & rap scene (have you previously noticed how HiHo's attempts at poetry are actually Rap music lyrics?) where Hoady is also obviously a Hep Cat (pussyref) and hangs with my cool bro Rico $uave.

didge

 

......... but the major revelation comes from Tink's post, where under the guise of his WF nom-de-plume and his hidden real-world identity (the last 4 letters being the giveaway), with Tink pushing his or her didge playing expertise down our throats, it became glaringly obvious that Turbo is of the female persuasion and below is the necessary evidence, by the real name of Ticki (notice Tinki's clever disguise by just changing one letter of his/her name) ...... but I must admit that when I first met Tink at Natfly in the Rissole at Narromine all those decades ago, I did wonder about that see thru outfit, the pony tail and the breasts.

...... a "Made in China" sticker which is pretty normal for Turgid, who always takes the cheapest quote, just like a new Submarine supply officer.

 

But then your ever persistent Sherlock Skipper found 2 other labels, the 1st said "Property of Wang" and the 2nd was a continuation of the 1st and said "ker", so we know for certain that it one of Turbo's  and that he is indeed a confirmed .....

 

Given the above discovery, and the resultant pressure that Turbo and his Encabulator Project Manager (bull) were under, he made an announcement that shocked NES and Wreck Flying (avref) Royalty (Eeeenref), and that was that Turbo & bull would henceforth take a step back from their WF duties to live their own lives, would move to King Island to pursue a quieter existence and avoid the paparazzi that their celebrity status demands.

Eeen immediately convened a meeting of all of the Moderatti Illuminatti to see what could or should be done.

As a result they decided that .......

Whilst digging around trying to find all the turboencabulator parts, he came across......

 

...... a "Made in China" sticker which is pretty normal for Turgid, who always takes the cheapest quote, just like a new Submarine supply officer.

But then your ever persistent Sherlock Skipper found 2 other labels, the 1st said "Property of Wang" and the 2nd was a continuation of the 1st and said "ker", so we know for certain that it one of Turbo's  and that he is indeed a confirmed .....

..... the NES went quiet in anticipation of ......

 

....... the Turbo AutoLand system kicking in, because as usual Tink was 5 years ahead of Garmin with his .......

The encabulator started to fall and........

 

..... the NES went quiet in anticipation of ......

...... received 2 rounds from the Skipper's shotty.

He had carefully reached into his ammo cupboard, ignored the normal 7s & 8s that he used on clay targets, and selected a pair of AA Super Handicap 4s which ripped into the drone like a a series of lead 4s into a chinese made drone, wherein his excellent .......

That his bushfire allegory so cruelly dismissed as incomprehensible (with possible justification,) had found an appreciative audience and.......

 

.... HidyHody went all dissapointed again when bull asked Mavis "Isn't allegory the stuff that they use to fix holes in your teeth?"

Mavis, who had been a dental nurse for 20 years, in order to meet men, laughed but with a ........

...... acknowledged what Turbo had witnessed many times over the decades of their close friendship.  The Skipper was, indeed, irresistible to women.

"You may look like you are 76, Greta, but you are way to young for me" said the Skipper with great honour.

Greta was disappointed of course, but turned to Turbo and .....

"I might start flying again if they are using oxygen and hydrogen incorporated into their fuels" said Greta.