Captain

.....might not have enough to avoid making that new Mayday call thingy, and....................

 

..... anyway, water is part hydrogen, so HF can stick their fuel checks where the .....

"Did anyone check the fuel...........

 

..... for water?"

"Don't be a dick" responded HoHo who is well known as a rule bender (about which Planey made a note in his diaria) "Nobody actually does that any more before a flight, as it ..........."

"No, he didn't", said Cappy. "I have it on good advice, Turbo has pictures of his boss in bed with his secretary, and utilised them to get a promotion from a position of lowly truck mechanic, to head of the Design Dept - as well as his getting his name included on the Turboencabulator! Of course, he doesn't have a clue what he's doing in the Design Dept, everyone just covers for his disastrous errors!"

 

"It was actually a selfie that Turbo-the Secretary took" said the FlyingVision, and I know because ......

....Roswell space ship which I use regularly to fly from Miami to my Golf Course in Miami, where............

 

...... this story needs to stop right now, as thru deft research Poiro-tain has proven that Turbo has his hand on it again.

The encabulator is really Turbs being all Walter Mitty-like and it actually just a rusty old cab and below is a candid pic from his back yard.

"We just can't accept a word he writes" said HiHo vindictively to Onesie and bull (Captain was left out again) "And we need to .......

There was great excitement amongst the Iranian QUDS Force. Their CO got on the phone to Putin. "Vlad!", he exclaimed, "We've got something here we'd like you to see!! It's a new, secret U.S. weapon! - and we've dissected it!!"

 

Vlad couldn't contain his excitement. "I'll be on a plane to Iran within half an hour!", he said to the CO. "Make sure you......

 

……. clowns don't shoot my plane down as I arrive."

However there was a noise of increased engine revs and they all looked out of the window in amazement to see Turbs and his wingman, bull, in a 45 degree dive, with the Rotax 1,000 rpm over the normal max and with their Daisy air-rifles fully loaded and ready to hit the Iranian Quds guy (who is not the full Qud) in the arse.

The Drifter strained and so did Tink (Because he hadn't been for a while) and he ……...……..

.........almost touched the roof, but then it stopped and slowly started to rise on the stream of hot air that always came from the Captain wherever he was., but the crisis wasn't over yet, the encabulator ran out of hot air and arced down towards........

 

...... an Iranian General who was having a coffee and a falafel while his mates where ........

Rockwell was a great experience with some great forward thinkers. The Encabulators were ahead of their time and didn’t take off so I was moved to the truck axle department.

 

This led to several breakthroughs in truck design.

We all know about the splines that he invented to stop the axle from spinning on its own, including the "turbizoidal" © shape of his patented design of spline.

The legacy of the encabulator name can also readily be seen in Turbo's unique naming of his personal inventions, being the truck enCABulator, the never before heard of encabUlator-bolt and the radi-encabulATOR.

The result was that Tink was honoured with the Trucking Industry's highest civilian award, known as the ......

Your delighted Captain is pleased to share the below video from his personal library.

It shows Turbs during what the girls all call his "Rockwell Years" when they all thought he was hot, and swooned over his detailed technical descriptions.

It is irrelevant that his fly was partly undone during this recording and the little bird was close to falling out of its nest.

STOP PRESS NEWS - LEGAL ACTION TAKEN BY LOONY TUNES AGAINST LOONY TURBO.

TURBO'S SO-CALLED "ENCABULATOR" IS EERILY SIMILAR TO MARVIN THE MARTIAN'S IMMODIUM Q-36 EXPLOSIVE SPACE MODULATOR.

"TURBO HASN'T HAD AN ORIGINAL THOUGHT SINCE 1944" SAID MEL BLANC.

AND TURBO SPEAKS LIKE MARVIN TOO ... OR HE DID DURING HIS TRIAL OVER HIS LAST BANNING ........... MODERATOR #3.

.... then there was a deathly silence.

"I want a fully fueled Citation and a book of sonets out at the airport" (avref) demanded HiHo with a lymeric held at Mavis's throat.

"I dont have time to organise that" responded IHN Turbo with an air (avref) of desperation in his voice, "But I can do a Drifter and a used Obelisc & Asterix book, or you are going to have to .....

On vhf through my Bose

 

There's trouble with a nose

 

That got in range of Cappy

 

And his depends nappy

 

That 'll need more than a rose

 

To....... 

 

... get sufficiently close,

For the Professional Negotiator to propose,

That HiHo put down his poetry & step away from the ledge,

"It's just not worth it (to the rest of us) said Tink as the snipers lined HiHo up for a head shot.

Then the radio crackled with the sound of the sniper being violently ill.

"It's hideous" he said as he filled his microphone with .....

chump on a stump

 

emulating a trump

 

threatening a tweeting

 

with nary a meeting

 

like Mary the mugwump

 

who went all ballistic

 

over Planey's ................

 

.... slump of the lump in his sump.

"How dare you" said the FlyingVizla, who knew a thing or two about .....

…… XXXX …………………. a lot, ...............… but Tink, having been coached by Eeeen and Planey, tried to defuse the entire situation by …………..

 

...... using his skills and training as a State, Federal, ASIO & INTERPOL certified Hostage Negotiator, where he was a ................

.....chose to be a hitchhiker

 

and then got picked up by a biker

 

who turned out to be transgender

 

and who said his name was Brenda

 

which caused Cappy to like her.........

 

…… XXXX …………………. a lot, ...............… but Tink, having been coached by Eeeen and Planey, tried to defuse the entire situation by …………..

.......opened the throttle without reading the instructions. What happened next.......

 

.... was the type of spectacular happening that new chapters of the NES are justified in being based on, which drags in hundreds of new readers both foreign and domestic, and in this case the new title was ......

...... makes the NES such a delightful academic experience" observed bull. "It's great when you can have a deep technical thinker like Stephen Turbine, a poet laureate like HiHo Lennon and then add Onesie to the mix, who is a ......

....motion that "some people should be kicked out for being Motel Operators, and everyone knew they doubled their prices every time a rich Drifter owner walked through the door" which was interrupted by some dumb bunny saying "but then they might not let us in and we'd have to sleep under the wing", which then led to.....

 

…………….. the AUF becoming the largest outdoor camping organisation in the world.

As a result, they franchised their own designs of tents, chairs and all other related camping items. They made a motza which was tax free because of their carefully orchestrated tax-free status.

BCF was renamed AUFCF and the AUF Directors approved a cash offer to purchase the RAA via a well structured offer (including various death threats) that the RAA could not refuse.

The result is that thru careful and dynamic (if not bloodthirsty) leadership, plus a structure not dissimilar to a blend of  the New York Crime families & the latest Mexican Drug Cartels, Drifter owners (with their Thruster cousins also included) took over all aspects of aviation (avref) except for the odd RPT operation which they allowed to operate unaffected.

The AUF then provided all board members of CASA, Qantas and all but 3 members of the Federal Senate. This meant that ……………………..

confusion that reigned at the RC at the mention of citations

 

for at royal commissions citations are ink marks on parchment

 

and cessnas are anything with wings that is crashed and not a Boeing

 

drifters are fodder for legal aid

 

savs are burnt offering at Bunnings

 

and ........................

 

……… the RC was pulled up immediately when the citations (avref) came flowing like hookers & cheap wine at an RAA Board Meeting.

Turbo was cited for being overly aggressive with some of his Wreck Flying (avref) posts - Proposed by Planey and seconded by Onesie.

Oneroot was cited for living in an Australian dependency - Proposed by Moderator #6 and seconded by Moderator #7.

bull was cited for being so far north and for unnecessarily protecting cane toads (he takes them for walkies on a lead) - Proposed by Turbo and seconded by the CTES (Can Toad Extinction Society).

Turbo was also cited for being excited about being short sighted, but that is another story that relates to his …….. 

.... when he says "Cesnas" he means Citations."

This stunned the SCs at the RC ....... in fact they were a complete bunch of Cs, but never as big as the ........

....... while all at the RC look pleased & touched each other affectionately, The Age, The Sydney Mourning Herald, the ABC & the Greens, as they did with the live sheep & cattle export trade, paid photographers to infiltrate the hidden, filthy, desease ridden & sexually charged world of retirement villages ...... to expose the plight of senior citizens (some were even veterans who had served their country) without the means to complete their Drifter Kits.

"I've paid taxes as my life" said Clarry when interviewed by 4 Corners.

"This is a disgrace" commented Alan Jones when the issue featured on Q&A (Alan didn't disclose his 30 years of AUF membership at that time), but nevertheless the RC was reopened with bull given a $400,000 per year gig as Council Assisting and Mavis was paid $200 K to refill the water jugs).

The opening remarks by bull SC (and no, that is not an abbreviation for Silly XXXX) stunned the nation when he outlined ......

APOLOGIES TO ALL NES'ERS FOR TINK'S CONTINUITY ISSUES A COUPLE OF POSTS AGO. THIS LITERARY CAPER ISN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS, EH? ..... MODERATOR #8.

 

MODERATOR #8 IS NOW ON HIS FINAL WARNING FOR BEING A SMARTAXXX. ...... MODERATOR #10 ...... (EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TURBO CAN'T HELP IT AND NEEDS TO BE GIVEN SOME LEEWAY)

APOLOGIES TO ALL NES'ERS FOR TINK'S CONTINUITY ISSUES A COUPLE OF POSTS AGO. THIS LITERARY CAPER ISN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS, EH? ..... MODERATOR #8.

“........my ‘don’t know what to do’  approach.

 

Turbo later advised that if anyone was having difficulty with basic English or believed Australia was becoming a Nanny State, they could get an exemption certificate from Turbo which allowed......

 

..... them access to all the Nannys that they want.

A lot of the Nannys thought that was a pretty good deal too & sales of flanelette bustiers went thru the roof.

Meanwhile membership of the revived AUF also went thru the roof, although almost all were over 75, paid their membership with pension cheques and remembered "the good old days", but had trouble remembering last week.

As a result, Bunnings ran out of Thruster certified aluminium tubing and rotax pistons were like hen's teeth, although ......

ONE OF THE LAST ROTAX PISTONS IN THE STH HEMISPHERE

NOW ON EBAY FOR $125.00. Note the C clips, which refer to Turbo.

......his Turbine Cannister Solution. For $2000.00 Turbo has agreed too supply a plastic bag with the requisite amount of hydrogen to take care of the weight. “Just remember not to light a match under it”, he said backing away from.....

 

... the bag so that he could lite one of his own (Turbo's standard party trick at civic receptions, but restricted during the bushfire season).

"But" said bull "That means that all the AUF pilots (avref) will need a turbine rating and a THPB (Turboplanner Hydrogen Plastic Bag) rating which will be more of a pain than Turbo is himself, although it will certainly.......

................wage war (the WF forums had been flowing over with indignant cow cockeys demaning the right to fly over cities and into international airports in the Thruster Crop Duster MK IIs, fly with out a mediacal and all that sh!t, and carry a 500 lb bomb, but .......

 

..... the Thrusters still had W&B issues when loaded with the torpedoes plus the 500 pounder.

However Tink knew the solution (CAT engines aside) and went public with ........