Captain

……. Joe TurBiden as the Democratic Candidate, with his missus, Michelle Turbama as his vice.

This made all NES'ers finally fully aware of Turbo's total power and he makes the Twiglet look like a paperboy.

"wowee" said bull in amazement, as he is a ……..

……….. elections, where the Russians and the Chinese fought to see who could interfere the most in the local Gumly Gumly Ward 6 elections, which they used as practice for the next US Presidentials where they ............

......... suppositorial insertion, plus ........

..... he inserted, between Tubb's rambling discourse, "I suppose & postulate that Ahlo the great locksmith could just be what Doubtfire always suggested & be a ........

......a Universal Joint belonged on a tractor, and torches were used for.................

......... suppositorial insertion, plus ........

.........get the equipment serial number, so he can order an operation for the equipment to be fixed, relocated or scrapped. This really put the wind up Loxie who was rarely..............

……….. subjected to a detailed inspection, except when he used to look at it in the mirror and will IT to get bigger …….. or when Sgt Turbine held them in his cold and calloused hand and said "Cough". (This unfortunate episode remains an open file with Victoria's finest corrupt wallopers who are waiting for their next payment from a couple of disgruntled TE shareholders before proceeding further & publishing the photo of Turbo holding Loxie's and saying "Hold your bag sir?").

This brought back disturbing memories for all of the NES readers and contributors who all thought of the time, waaaaaaayyyyy back, when ……..

"Oh XXXX" said Robin "Now I've done it, and ……...……...

……….. the Sheriff of Gumly Gumly is hot on my trail in order that he can ……………….

...…. rub was the Loxie went to the press again to complain about his equipment.

Tubb immediately saw the problem with this and gave Robin-of-Loxie a call on his new Aussie Post Flip Phone.

"G'day Tink" said Robin "This is the 2nd time and after getting great press after the bushfires I thought I would run with the equipment failure and poor performance again." he added with a smug inflection.

Tink thought for 60 seconds about this.

"Are you still there Tubb" asked Robin after the prolonged silence.

"Yes I am Loxie …. but do you realise that your latest liaison with Mave involving an equipment failure, and which was on the front page of the Fin Review today, plus is featured on 4 Corners tonight, involves your own equipment?"

"Oh XXXX" said Robin "Now I've done it, and ……...……...

……… water wings.

"is that what they are?" asked bull "I thought that they were her ……...

……... position to ……..

...….. a series of charges for using the rego numbers that belong to HiHo, Mark, bull and Briney.

Tink just couldn't grasp the inconsistency of landing his F16 and using the call sign of HiHo's aircraft or the Uniroot's Drifter. "How will people ever know?" he asked himself (an increasing problem that Turbo has, which makes him appear to be very Bidenesque).

"Don't you worry about that, Turbo my old mate" said Planey doing his best Kingaroy Joh impression "For I know about these things and I have a ...............

Little did he know that Paula's spiritual energy derived from her regular turboencabulator massage and that if ever she should miss that TE enhanced morning ritual then..........

…….. she realised that given the Turbo's financial issues, the encabulators had been repossessed (they had actually been impounded by CASA to secure debts that Turbo had incurred from 2 $7.50 landing fees way back in 2019) and this also involved ……...

The question was...........

...…...… also raised by Scott when he called the Skipper for advice last night, concerned about a report he had received, that Onesie is a political plant in the NES and is actually Mark McGowan (who few know is also Premier Xi's brother after suitable plastic surgery) and the Twiglet is …...……..

MORE BREAKING NEWS IN A RAPIDLY DEVELOPING NEWSSCAPE ------ Cappy has just had a call from Scott to advise that Turbo's real name in Wang Kerr and he is, according to ASIO and the FBI, the leader of an undercover operation to buy up Australia surreptitiously, with all of his funds coming from the Chinese Black Market.

Even Daniel has seconded this news about Turbs/Wang, and we all know that things are pretty crook if Daniel becomes a dobber on the Chinese.

A further complication is that Wang has today also been approached by Premier Xi as a potential replacement for Kim Jong Un if he has kicked the bucket.

An obvious conclusion is that Wang has been hiding in plane (avref) sight as Planey was always calling him a WXnker (turboref). (Planey was ahead of his time).

It is obviously of major concern to all genuine patriotic Skippies and Skipettes that Wang was inside The Lodge on 2 occasions recently, and close to our leaders, but rest easy all Aussies as security is being upped at The Lodge and neither Wang nor the Twiglet will be allowed in there any time soon (and Scott has actually issued a kill order on Wang, .................... not before time).

Plus, the real interesting news is that, on further checking, Wang's Corvette is actually a Great Wall ute with a cheap fibreglass & papier-mâché body.

END OF MESSAGE

[NEWS RELEASE (not for publication before 18:00 May 1 2020)

TURBINE TWIGGY FASHION announced today a new venture to export live cattle to Bangladesh. Based on the huge success of TurbineFashion's Red Drifter theme generating two way income for ore shipes, the live cattle ships will return loaded with the new PeaAndHam fashion lines.]

On behalf of the Australian Peoples, the members of the NES offer their profound thanks to Turdboy and the Twiglet for their service to the Nation. And in the great spirit of friendship between our Nations, we suggest that all Australians commence learning Chinese immediatery and rearn to use chopsticks.

Unless this is done, all Austrarians will be "re-educated" in camps rocated between Arice Splings and Uraru.

操你澳大利亞

IT HAS SINCE BEEN PROVEN THAT THE ABOVE WAS HACKED INTO THE NES BY THE TWIGLET'S MATE LONG ZHOU VIA HIS OFFICE IN SHANGBOURNE. - INVESTIGATIVE MODERATOR IX

........10 then 20 the 40 then 80 then 180 then 360 then 720 then 1440 people, all ready to support Twiggy to the hilt, and not only that but this,........

...…….. show of support cemented an unshakeable bond between Turbo and Twiggy, such that Turbine Enterprises made a takeover offer for her clothing business, which he immediately moved to China ……. and thereafter Twiggy's iron ore carriers were always back loaded chock-a-block with Twiggy's fashionable garments, saving a fortune (Turbo is a smart XXXX), all in that delightful and fashionable Iron Ore red that pervades all of WA, and that "look" took the ………..

……… then he took his cluster out.

Turbs and Twigs we appalled, took a couple of chill-pills that enabled them to discuss the pros and cons of Drifters, but couldn't stop watching, as the cluster became ......….

...…… he may need to inject disinfectant and UV light into it after the reaming.

Turdy felt the need to defend his mate and his main point was that .............

TWIGGY WOODLAND AFTER THE REAMING

To which Turbo responded "My friend Twiggy...........

……… bent over and dropped his last night, so I'm expecting it to .…….....

...….. nearly wet himself laughing at the Cappy's joke (albeit poorly told by Tink), and also because he had been waiting for quite a few hours sucking down numerous cups of green tea.

"Can you get the Captain's autoglaph for me prease" he asked.

"Are you certain that it is for you?" responded Turbo, wanting to get the story perfectly clear so that he wouldn't get chastised by Scott again.

"No" leplied the Chinese Ambassador sheepishly "It is actuary for Chairman Xi who has always admired the Skipper's …………….

He did it to cleanse his soul from his rip-off business practices and he had become a Hillsong superstar because he was always a …...…….

...…….. great fire and brimstone preacher who frightened little kids and old ladies, but who was beloved by the masses.

This is how Turbs got so close to Scott, and your wouldn't believe it, that Turbo and the Captain (now elevated informally to the rank of Lt General) met up last night over dinner at The Lodge.

The Cappy was there to advise on the diplomatic stoush with China (he had the Chinese ambassador waiting in an anti-room with a cup of green tea, in case he was needed), to give technical advice on whether to convert the Subs to nuclear power, plus to consult on the rebuilding of the economy post Covid and to provide his latest thinking (in order to update the Federal Chief Medical Officer) on progress worldwide with Covid vaccine development.

Turbo was there to provide Scott with spiritual nourishment ...…… to say grace ............… and to serve the wine …………… which he did very …...………….

…...… green cordial.

HiHo's post # 12497 has opened up a new can-of-worms as Tink had been a leading preacher at Hillsong conventions for the past decade.

He did it to cleanse his soul from his rip-off business practices and he had become a Hillsong superstar because he was always a …...…….

TURBO WHIPPING UP THE CROWD USING HIS

HILLSONG NAME, AS DISPLAYED BEHIND HIM.

…...… think that somebody as handsome, wealthy, worldly-wise & vital to the planet's aviation (avref) industry as you (Turboadolph is presently consulting to Virgin OZ on how to get back into the air [$6 billion is debts is chickenfeed to Adolph {or Dolphy as Gretchen calls him}]) (3bracketsref), should be stuck in ......…….

……. that Gretchen could fully appreciate its magnificent size (Turboschlager had always been a bit like zat).

"Oh Turboadolf" said Gretchen "Zat ist magnificent und the biggest Ich have ever seenen ............ but here, we don't call that a stein. Here that ist known as your ……….

...…… laying back und thinking of ze Fatherland with ze lederhosen neatly folded behind the …………..

GRETCHEN ALL READY FOR COURT

………. thought his didn't stink ...…….. again.

But Gretchen, a disgruntled leading Barista, from a back room at Slacker und Gruber, had withheld some exculpatory evidence which set Tink back on his heels when he learnt that ……

TINKY WANK BACK ON HIS HEELS.