Captain

......… arranged for Danny Andrews to have 王金 on his Drifter and 王克尔 on the plates of his government supplied Great Wall ute.

"I have another couple of capital works programs to shut down partway through, so can I have a couple of $ billion?" Danny asked Turbo once he could get an audience "As the Belt & Road caper has copped a pounding and apart from The Twiglet or Onesie, you are the next biggest XXXX with ...…….....

......….. at the shocking behaviour of Victoriahan and Westernxi Australiahai, where the rocked up lesidents rushed for personalised plates & aircraft regos with the Chinese characters for "Wang King".

And after the cleanout of Mods, Leck Frying was full of Modellators from the Moolabbin Confusious Institute, where they ...............

"This is as bad as trying to interview a Wreckflyne pilot" he thought, and went to Plan .......

...…… ey to see what he (or she, NTTIAWWT) could do.

This resulted in ………...

...…… Phillip Island's Turn 1.

"Watch that you don't go arxe-over (avref) as sidecars are always an issue under brakes into Turn 1" said Loxie (beercanref) & (sportstarref .. although he is not a sport star) "And if you keep sniffing Dimethyl ether (cleverDMEref) as you approach (DMEapproachref) thru San Remo (pastaref) you'll be in even more trouble (CASAthreatref)."

The Inspector du CASA, whose real name was Jaques du Clerk, had been hiding out in Canberra for 40 years (not hard in CASA), as he had been a bookkeeper (clerkref) in the French Not-so Secret Service (led by Pierre Ducont (rudewordref) when the Rainbow Warrior incident occurred (they were high (avref) on DME (avref & chemicalref) when they blew the backside out of that little ship too (aswellref), as they …………...

...….. know where your sister lives."

"Listen mate" responded Loxie indignantly "I've been told by better than you that I Don't No Anything, so you can stick your DNA abbreviation where the ………….

...……… Melbournistan and the caves at Omeo Bora.

"Fair suck of the sav" said Ahlox defensively "I thought I was in the Whitsundays and all that white stuff was sand, so it's not my fault (although I must admit that I did think that my planned 8.6 hour flight time to Whitehaven Beach went quickly …….. and the beach was somehow a long way above MSL).

[Do any of our crusty NES reader recognise the similarity of Ahlo's performance with a young whipper snipper from a few years ago, who wandered the Snowies in his little green home-built, and was lucky to get away with it (plus copped a banning from Eeeen back when he was at his power hungriest)? "If'n we don't learn from history, we are bound to repeat it" said Loxy, (channelling his best George Santayana ….. or was it by Turbo Churchill?) to nobody in particular "But it wasn't my fault (pilotexcuseref)."

One of the Casa inspectors came to visit Loxie, wearing his snowshoes and made him ………….

....Loxie who had once put the Beercan (aluminium avref) up on the roof of the...........

......... world, about 1,736 m south of Mt Kosciusko, which is just north of .......

...include hard words like......"

...... empennage (avref), Twiggy, canetoad, mosquito, Vicpol, corruption, abattoir, Daniel, and ......

....... buy a couple of thousand crossword and puzzle books for the office and for the 90% of us that work (the room erupted in titters & guffaws) from home, but don't make them too difficult or .........

Turbo tried to be helfull (he was, & still is, a lovely bloke who is 100% loyal to his friends [and to Planey]) and said "It's probably the sun; all meat goes black in the sun", but this only brought on more tears and......................

...…….. an awakening that he/she had been locked away in self fladulation and social distancing for the past 6 months (since well before the Wuhan virus stuck up its head), so had not seen the sun, nor flown his/her 2 aircraft in all that time.

On this news, the sleeping giant that was CASA awoke and somebody called a meeting. "Wakey Wakey hands off Virgin" said John Casaboss "Now that the airlines & all forms of commercial aviation are comatose we need to prove to the Govt that we are useful & worth staying fully paid. It's a big ask, I know, so I propose that we blitz Recreational Aviation and rip the heads (and some other bits) off those old blokes that have paid our salaries for all those years. So I reckon that we should …...….

………. Fernes buses for a lift home.

"Get down the back" he was told by the white nationalist bus-driver "And how about a little kiss?"

That's both racism and raceoffism" cried the Captain in his best lady's voice (because they were gone for good) and feeling the same way that his Labrador (named Nutless) did last year.

"Oh, come on" said ………….

………… bull would let him, because bull was very possessive of his tyro.

 

Brine gave HiHo a call and said "Have you seen Tubb's dopy post #12620?"

 

"Sure have" responded Heidi "Jamelia looks just fine to me, so I reckon that Turdy is starting to lose it if he reckons those look like buttocks"

 

"I wonder if he has ever really seen a decent set" was Brine's reply "And I reckon Turds must be a closet …...……….

……. "Now, now, calm down boys" interjected The Captain "As Turbs is my long term best mate and I must defend his ………………...

………… bull would let him, because bull was very possessive of his tyro.

Brine gave HiHo a call and said "Have you seen Tubb's dopy post #12620?"

"Sure have" responded Heidi "Jamelia looks just fine to me, so I reckon that Turdy is starting to lose it if he reckons those look like buttocks"

"I wonder if he has ever really seen a decent set" was Brine's reply "And I reckon Turds must be a closet …...……….

Based on the latest photo, the Skipper/Skipette has been inundated with friend requests from hundreds of dirty old Wreck Flying (avref) members who have offered to take the Skipette flying (avref) up to 5,280 ft (avref) [so Drifter (avref) owners might struggle (avref)].

But all need to remember that the Skipper used to be 125 kgs of muscle and sinew, so with what has been removed (say 1 kg) and what has been added (say 5 kgs) the Skipette will be just under 130 kgs and weight/balance issues (avref) are certain to ensue (and filling out that poxy AUF (avref) form will be even harder).

........ able to admire Turbo like we all do, you will also be able to satisfy his .........

Dyslexia must be contagious, as there was a dyslexic rooster in a house beside the hospital, that crowed "Doodle Do Cock,' which made James (or Jamelia as he is now known) realise what he was missing.

JAMELIA AFTER SOME MAKE-UP TRAINING & FOLLOWING SOME TIME IN THE SUNROOM AT THE HOSPITAL. THE SURGEON HAD DONE A CRACKER OF A JOB SHE/HE THOUGHT AND COULDN'T STOP ADMIRING THEM. JAMES WAS WRAPPED IN THE CHANGES, AS WAS TURBO.

And after the surgery he looked just like JC V2 (the 1st one had holes in him from what the Romans did).

The surgeon buggered up the top of his ears, hence the extra roll of hair stuck on above each one. (Those hair rolls were like organ pipes & sounded like a diving Stuka (avref) when the wind got up over 25 knots).

...…….. was known as Walter Mitty for a few years until he changed it to Turdbro Mitty, then …………..

A YOUNG AND UNTOUCHED VIRGINAL TURDBRO

DURING HIS WALTER MITTY PHASE. THOSE

EYES REALLY SUCKED THE BOYS IN.

...……. the way that his Nanna's sister sat astride her invention, which she named the ...…….....

HIS NANNA'S SISTER, ON THE TOP, GETTING READY TO HEAD TO TASMANIA.

YOU CAN SEE HERE THAT SHE IS A REAL LOOKER.

………. his grandmother's sister's side of the Turgid family.

Tink's nanna's sister was an amazon of a woman who fought beside Breaker Morant and she is the person who Tubb is most like (except perhaps for bull) and that is something that …………….

A LITHOGRAPH PHOTO OF TUBB'S NANNA'S SISTER, WHO HE IS MOST LIKE.

YOU CAN SEE WHY TURBS IS SUCH A GAY ICON, CAN'T YOU?

Onetrick became worried that he might become the target by mistake, but Turbo reassured him that a Watcher could take out two as easily as one, and Onetrick ..........................

…...…. was reassured (1) because he is located on the western side of the country and nobody gives a rats about them now that The Twigster has gone all mandarin, plus (2) Onesie has changed his name to Mustafa and now worships under a minaret in Subiaco-up, "So let the Masons try their hardest, mate" he thought, before …..

ONESIE IN A SUBIACO-UP HOOKAH BAR BEFORE PRAYERS

......the one the Billygoat Riders ride at every Masonic Lodge meeting. This finally proves that Turbo is a high-ranking member of that illustrious Brotherhood, and this explains why doors are opened to him, in every venture he attempts, and no charges ever stick to him (his nickname in the Brotherhood is Mr Teflon).

This also leads to accusations that Turbo has unduly influenced certain decisions relating to.......

……. protractors, set squares, compasses and blokes that tickle your palm when they shake hands, because Turbo was a …………...

Side note ...…… Good point Onesie, as I had not tumbled to that previously, but now that you mention it, I have the below photo of the apron that Tubb wore when he cooked the barbie at The Lodge last weekend when Scott was trying to make friends again with the Chinese Ambassador. He's not such a bad bloke (but a bit of an ignorlant plick) and boy did we get plastered, as we had to get him a Uber to get back to the Embassy.

TURBO'S POST #12,601 HAS RECEIVED 1 WF DEMERIT POINT FOR LONG WINDEDNESS - REPORTED A TIRED (OF READING IT) MODERATOR 22.

……….. investigative journalist Mike Willesee reviewed the full transcript of Tubb's above post with his special Channel 9 magnifying glass, and had the biggest Eureka moment of his illustrious career.

He eagerly sent a telex to his producer Gerald Stone " click click click" it went and then the words were revealed that shocked the world.

"Click click click ….. the crux of this entire issue is the goat (note the importance as it is underlined and in bold) that is mentioned at the end of Tubb's paragraph 4, because that goat was …...……...

THE ACTUAL GOAT - IT WAS HIM.

"..........box seat to take in millions of Chinese per year."

"They aren't coming any more" said OT; we upset the Chinese by demanding an investigation on how Coronavirus started and they aren't going to allow any tourists out here"

"We already thought of that" said Turbo, "which is why we just bought Wagga Wagga Airport and two thousand hectares to the north to build the world's first International Airport Theme Park. Chinese Airlines will fly into WW direct, and every visitor will get a free pass to BoB, and I guarantee that not even Xi Jinping will be able to stop them."

"What's Loxie going to do about....................."

...….. opening a TE franchised Wet Market at Gumly Gumly?"

Suddenly the number of dog and cat missing adverts ("Has anyone seen Fluffy?") in the Daily Advertiser went through the roof, and the Flying Fox colony at The Rock were shxtting themselves (which they always do anyway).

"That's a very interesting question of physics and geometry" said bull, who was the Julius Sumner-Miller of bone "How do the little buggers defecate when they are hanging upside down, and not fill their wings up with it?" he postulated. "They must …………...

bull has just won a Wreck Flying literary award for his use of the word "defecate". So much classier than the Skipper saying "shxtting". - MODERATOR 17