Captain

....... running the RFS in each state & Territory (in addition to recently taking over the tourism ooerations at Ayers Rock {note the renaming}, the Olgas and owning the full length of the Great Ocean Road), and then we'll really be in the .........

………. have his wicked & depraved Firey's way with her, before Salty ...……...

LOXIE'S SIREN (He reckons that he will not end up like the blokes and

blokettes below her, that have been there before.)

....... undoing his fly before he .........

...in high heels, twirling a parasol and wearing sandwich boards declaring .........

...…………. "I am not an animal" (but he was) and "Give me decent firefighting equipment or give me death" (which some volunteers offered to arrange).

"Beauty" said Loxie "As apparently I have some volunteers organising to get me and my loyal crew a new Fire Truck."

"Oh" said volunteer Onesie to volunteer Heidi as they both put their garrottes away "We need to …………..

THE ACTUAL GARROTTE THAT HEIDI HID DOWN HIS UNDIES, AND WHICH DID HIM

SUCH TERRIBLE DAMAGE. IT IS NOW HOUSED IN THE WRECK FLYING HALL OF FAME

AFTER BEING CAREFULLY CLEANED.

News Update - The Piper Bi-Tri-Pacer has set new records on Twitter and Tinder social media platforms today under the #Pi-Bi-Tri-Pa moniker, and as a result, the aircraft (avref) has reached cult status in the LMBTQFCDX-Bi-Tri community.

TE shares have now streaked past BHP and the Elongated Musk-sticks little car and space company.

.......include a Piper Tripacer,

NOTICE - With the approval of the Board of Turbine Industries (Piper Aircraft (avref) Manufacturing Division).

Following the untimely slipup by Turbs in the premature announcement in the above quote from his post # 12,583, ASX rules require, and we feel compelled to, disclose the imminent release of a Piper Bi-Tri- Pacer (patents pending).

The below photo was planned for a worldwide announcement via a Webinar on July 1st, (so as to avoid 2019-2020 taxes).

We are certain that this new design and the seductive name "Piper Bi-Tri-Pacer" will catch the eyes of all GA Pilots plus we expect thousands of sales to crusty old AUF types, who long for redundancy, for their engines, but also for the bits that are starting to drop off themselves.

"Don't you think it looks great" said Turbo "It's like a poor man's P-38 Lightning, and this announcement will make me an even bigger legend & entre-pre-noor than Dicky Branson (What wanker really want to fly into space anyway?)."

"I agree" said Salty "I, for one, can't wait to simulate an engine failure as I climb out of Renmark in my Bi-Tri-Pacer (order placed and funds transferred)"

Technical note - A miniaturised & hydrogen powered version of the world famous TurboEncabulator is used to synchronise the props.

THE LONG AWAITED PIPER BI-TRI-PACER

.......include a Piper Tripacer, 20 metres of rope, three buckets, a length of hose and a police constable, who was good at .......................

....... quick draw, framing the innocent (vicref) and realistic body painting of .........

He started to hatch a ........

....... cunning stunt (at least that is how I think you spell it) that would .......

He (our glorious new leader, that is, the wondrous and hot Captain), was now going to be..........

………. the subject of great interest and the guest on hundreds of national and international business TV shows (Maria Bartoromo offered him more than just an interview).

"We are so pleased that TE is now to be controlled by somebody without Turbo's personality failings, faults and frailties" said a fawning Laurie Oakes.

"I second that" said Scott, who had always thought Turbo to be a bit of a dick, and who had asked to appear beside the Cappy so that some of the limelight could fall on him too. (John Howard [the ex-PM and not the actor] had also asked to be on the TE Board under the Captain's leadership, so that John [or Jack as the Skipper calls him] can continue his learning experience).

Then Alan Jones and John Laws both chimed in "We have voted with our cheque books (whatever they are) and have pumped all of our dough into TE to back the Skipper."

Turbs was dumb-founded (well, the 1st bit anyway) as the shares went stratospheric and the Skipper's 900 billion options (that indicates how desperate Tubb was to have the Skipper sign on) propelled Cappy into the top 5 rich-list (worldwide).

The Skipper was modest and self effacing as usual as he humbly said "...………………..

....... Twitter is now owned by Turbine Communications & Social Media Inc (TCASMI) and Twitter is named after its developer, and chief Twit, ..........

...………. Michelle, who he had always thought was totally hot, however the fact that Barack had been there a couple of times was a bit of a turn off.

Seeing this discussion, bull thought back longingly to the time where he was Principal Technical Consultant and also the National Tactical Advisor, plus he was also Chief of Staff in the Pentagon for President McGovern.

"But George McGovern was never elected President" commented Brian when he had a few beers with bull.

"oh crap" said bull "no wonder it was pretty quiet during those 4 years ….. and I always had trouble finding my office".

Salty sighed and thought …………...….

……….. under the condition that George Pell would be cleared and become Pope.

It was little known, dear reader, that the entire attack on George had been orchestrated by Turbo as part of his quest for acceptability, because if he could replace George in the Treasury, it was just a hop step and a jump to bounce into the fancy white robes and the skull cap that would cover his scaly bald patch.

"If I become Pope Dickhead the 1st" said Turbo in his Moorabbin pronouncement number IXV "I will buy all the plonk from .............

(In true TE fashion, Turbs was having 2 bob each way, as he also had plans in place to become the grand mufti of the Moorabbin mosque and then be catapulted into power as the Eye-atoll-a in Iran as an Ass-armour Bedlinnen lookalike).

...………… called his Senior Security Advisor for the Asian Region, who has been on assignment under deep cover in bone for several years (a bit like one of those Japanese soldiers in the jungle after WW2) where he ...………...

……………. exonerate the entire Turbine Enterprises conglomerate that were by then operating in over 200 countries and on 15 continents (as you can see, they have a propensity for a little bit of exaggeration).

"WHOA (WHO joke)" said Bill "TE is harder to exonerate than China, about the false claims that they started this Corona shxtfight"

"Please don't swear Billy" said Melinda "Or you and your money will be out the door like a shot and I'm heading back to my true love in Renmark, who always knew how to make me ……………

MEL AND BRINE IN HAPPIER TIMES AT THE REMNARK RISSOLE

Saltie began answering Ita’s questions, and there were a few raised eyebrows, but when …......

………. Planey submitted another complaint to Eeeeen about Turbo being his usual smartarxe prat, Salty knew that he had his Turbo impression down pat, even to the extent that he captured Tubb's arrogant ……..

........ thtuck thpeaking olde worlde englith too.

"I runeth the ABTHEE where I am the Chairperthon, which proveth that mine doesnth thtink either" she thaid to Thalty, who ..........

…… Do you have any knowledge of the four thouthand theven hundred and fithty dollarth retheipt from the Hotel Cathablanca, which theems to me to be thuthpect?"

Turbo, who had enjoyed been fithty since he was about 12 (you would think he would have run out by now), tried to take the quethtion theriouthly and replied with a thraight fathe "...………….

…………… Turbo, after guidance from Turbine Public Relations Inc (T-PRIC) went on a promotional tour of all major western commercial hugs, so having a 2-seater F16 was a boon, because he could put a change of clothes and some soap in the rear seat along with his tent, sleeping bag, a Crystal Set and a few packets of Gaviscon.

"I love sleeping under the wing (avref), it's just like being at an AUF Natfly (but without the petty politics), and the double-bunger F16 is a great little aircraft" said Turbo in a pre-written statement.

"Hang on" said Salty "Sleeping under the wing is a bit crass for someone with your class and wealth" … and Brine knew a lot about both.

"I normally stay at 6 Star joints" replied Turbo "But when you are doing a sweep thru New York, London, Frankfurt, Damascus, Doha then flicking back thru Honkers & then to Perth (the biggest wank centre of commerce of the lot) and to have a Shiraz with Onesie, the cost of a 747 for the mid-air refuelling over all those big blue oceany things really knocks a hole in your Visa card, but it's all necessary and ...……...…..

……… major aviation (avref) hub (wheelref).

Things moved quickly from there with 4 Corners undertaking a full blown expose, Media Watch criticising the TE media management policy, Turbo's appearance on Q&A being widely panned and ...……….

...…….. cashews, rubbed his eyes, looked off at the horizon (avref) like the visionary that he is, bent down to Turbo's height (avref) and responded with kindness "……..

....... "This development will make you the new Alan Bond".

"I don't think so" responded Turbs "Although my name IS Alan and I AM on a bond, ...... but don't tell the ABC or .......

...…….. cashews, rubbed his eyes, looked off at the horizon (avref) like the visionary that he is, bent down to Turbo's height (avref) and responded with kindness "……..

"It's just too easy", said Turbo, "We'll simply change the name to......

............. "Western Airpark 19 Left-Up" and they will go mad (the deposit money started rolling in as soon as the name was leaked from the TE Board Meeting, with most buyers planning to move from Peppermint Grove), as they really do believe that they carry the rest of OZ and they ...........

"I also have a MOIST award" interjected Mavis from somewhere outside the NES.

………. this revolutionary design won a Nobel Prize for innovation, a prize from OPEC as it was better than the Palm Tree layout in the Gulf (The Dubai Arabs are always magnanimous) and also an environmental design award titled ...………

THE NEW DESIGN BY TR OF "AIRPARK 19 LEFT" KICKED

THE ARXE OF THIS DESIGN IN THE WORLD DESIGN COMPETITION.

…………… Turbine Enterprises (TE) landed on their feet again, made massive windfall profits, and immediately made a takeover offer for Wazza Buffett (avref) and his little Berkshire Hathaway lifestyle company.

Turbine Residential (TR) also made some moves based on the flood of cash that permeated the entire TE conglomerate when they saw Onesie's photo in post # 12542 as it was a stark reminder that the photo looks precisely like a Perth suburb, so TR bought up 500,000 acres of prime Perth sandhills and commenced to ………..