Captain

This event made history, dear readers, as this was the 1st time that Krissy took her Box Brownie and recorded the teacher detaining bull ..... and it is a matter of law enforcement history that what became known as "the great billiard room detention" was the precursor of modern arrests at airports with media attendance .... and even at 11 she was "hot" and wore a Cadbury chocolate as a medal (see evidence below). ..... their relationship blossomed as their eyes met, just before bull's eyes wandered down to where they usually did (many ladies took offence at this, but bull also had a lot of success), and he ..... Her initial medal ..... but the chocky is a bit stale by now.

.... real name? And there, dear readers (and particularly our KGB, CIA and Mossad lurkers), you can see how key information can be leaked ..... and how loose lips can sink ships (nautref). For the General's name was Butt Butt (or in bull's parlance "but but") and the top of the boots are giving that grief too. The General's/bull's lack of a substantial records shows that he has had it scrubbed by ASIO and perhaps also by Krissy, with whom bull has maintained a relationship since .....

Here is what the bloke looks like .. but wait a minute, that's not the bull that we know and love from all the time that we have all spent together as mates. The bull that I know is shorter, and we call him bull because of the size of his bits that those boots are certainly chafing.

.... bloke that looks like a clone of Angus "Medals" Taylor, but with a quirky Philippino short-arse stance, where the calf-length black leather boots reach up to his waist and are obviously chafing his .....

.... bull got the trawler going flat out and when the Turbodrifters lifted off (avref) from the deck, they flew backwards off the stern of bull's good ship ........... like DH4 Caribous used to do if the wind (avref) was over 30 knots. bull's excuse about Xmas glitter on his quail/cat flavored sea urchins was accepted for a while, but the Albanese government is as sharp as a tack, and when they came back to question him again he came up with his master stroke when he said "Tell Anthony not to worry, these Sea Urchins are kosher (which they weren't, neither were they halal, but that's another story, where bull succeeded in uniting the Jewish and Muslim peoples of the world against his kosher lies, and that was when he was accused of creating the 1st ever case of Jewlimaphobia) and then he expanded and said that they are a new species that I caught when working within 5 kms of the Galapagos Islands". The sea urchin inspector had previously worked for CASA, so bull slipped him a .....

.... quail (or cat) flavored sea Urchins. Not many people know that this was a melancholy event for bull, as when he was an ankle-biter he was always referred to as an urchin himself, although bull favors the word lugubriousness, rather than to say that he was in a state of melancholia. The cats were useful on the trawler, before they went into the blender, and bull found that ..... Don't worry about the picture, just listen to the sound as this is what the cat blender sounded like on the poop deck of bull's trawler

... there was the breakthrough of all breakthroughs. (Perhaps a little overstated, but the NES needs drama, so you be the judge, Dear Reader). Not many people know this, and it is not unique in nature, that once the cats had a good gutful of jellied quail, some started to taste like jelly and were sold to the Aeroplane (avref) Jelly Company for processing, and the others tasted like quail so were sold nationwide to restaurants, and Turbine Cat Farms, hiding behind the clever name of name Turbine Quail Farms, even sponsored a season of MasterChef + brought out a range of poncey TCF cravats, with the C overprinted with a Q. Early doors there was a bit of an issue with the 5 Star Michelin restaurant dudes finding fur in the quail instead of feathers, but Turbine marketing explained that away as .....

The artist removed all the jellied quail juice off the front of his waistcoat and pants in the above painting, as a matter of artistic license, plus the artist has also shown him this time with the fly done up too, as jellied quail juice down an open fly, while it may be fun, is not a good look.

.... Tubb's great brain allowed him to retain every detail of every crook on every one of their cases .... much in the same way that he can remember every one of the ~ 24,500 posts that he has made since joining Wreck Frying. (As an aside Turds has averaged something like 3.6 posts every day since he joined this dynamic site ..... but why the heck would he have only completed 0.6 of a post every day and not have completed that particular post until the morning .... and then repeat that dysfunctional process every day since 2007? (Turbo is obviously compulsively quirky ....... or worse). This partial completion of posts has carried over to his .....

..... had become smeared with quail jelly, the same as was splurged all over Tubb's ample waistcoat & down the front of his dacks, so that the ....

Ratty hopes that the following will be of assistance to new NESers to picture the scene described in the 2 most recent posts, ..... and the dynamic gravitas that Turdy brings to everyone's life. He's always been a bit of a butterfingers, and this photo shows the great man just before he dropped the grimoire.

.... left one, the bikies .....

A Shanty Generally similar to where Cappy was born ..... but his was with cows, a little drummer, plus wise men and stuff. THE Shanty at Alfredtown (pre Rebels).

..... "Look children, there are prime examples of shriveled up old prunes who constantly live in the past, drive classic sports cars & pink Suzukis etc .... and speak constantly & somewhat boringly of Blue Heads, Drifters, Thrusters as well as Rag & Tube more generally (how sad is that?) .... then when they feel strong and aggressive after taking their meds, they chuck in denigrations in order to speak ill of the great public servants at CASA ..... and yet they call box headed Cockeys whingers when it doesn't rain for 5 years. On hearing this expose, the Riverina Wheat Cockies' kiddies all reflexively gave the Old Pharts the bird (avref), then loudly proclaimed "There is no Gumly Gumly pub, you dill. It's called The Shanty & it's @ Alfredtown, ..... having been previously owned by one of Cappy's mates before the Rebels took it over and it was shut down [There may be a good opportunity here for Turbine Licensed Premises PLC]. Not many people appreciate that Crappy is one of the few individuals in OZ with the twisted yet dynamic personality to bridge the gaping divide between Cocky Grazier/Expansive Landowner, AUF membership, BOB attendee (non-gay division), and NES contributor..... yet nevertheless, here he is, live on the NES and available to all, such that even Bernie cannot resist the in-depth discussions on the NES (which is now larger and more popular than the host organization of Wreck Frying, hence Eeean's jealous disposition recently). But then Skye got her second wind (it's the cabbage in the Chicko rolls) and she commenced to shriek ".....

.... the CASA 1%ers and Turbine Ag Bikes P/L teamed up, sourcing a Chinese copy of the "Yamaha Blu Cru" initiative (call the Spratrey Bru Clu Aggy (avref) Bike). Not only did they offer off-licence smokes and tax-free grog at each of the CASA 1%er RAGE parties, but all the wives of CASA employees became known by the Bikie term "That's his Old Lady" and some of them really liked this new 1%er Old Lady lifestyle, where, on the drop of a hat (or undies), they could have whoever or whatever they ..... The Turbine Chines Ag bike BRU CLU initiative mirrored this one.

..... extend their operation to take complete control of the Aviation (avref) industry. In combination with the Hells Angels they developed a completely tax-free AUF and the old phart pilots flocked there to save a heap of cash ..... and with the Mongels as their main partner, they opened a black-market office named CASA, which shocked the industry as it was 3000% more efficient plus treated pilots and LAMES with respect .... which is previously unheard of .... and both organisations processed paperwork within 30 minutes, and each response contained a yellow smiley stamp. Therefore, outlaw motorcycle gangs became a valued and essential part of aviation, some repatched themselves with a big yellow smiley stamp on leather vests, and even in desolate lawless outposts such as QLD and WA, the average aircraft owner and pilot was ......

..... deposited them in only to the green bins ..... from whence they will be recombined with the other garbage once the council truck turned the corner. The skint Hezbollocks and the broke Hamas hit teams hit, from financial necessity, on a new environmentally friendly way to kill fadels and a few infadels with equal efficiency. They bought Yangzi flood damaged BYD sedans and drove them to infadel infested coffee shops, parked them close by and waited for them to catch fire. Sure, a few of the terrorists fell asleep in the comfortable Chinese front seats after the adjusters broke, or snoozed post coitally with their favorite Capra Aegagrus Hircus cuddled up in the back seat, + went to see their 72 virgins (hard to find in Moorabbin or WW ..... and many preferred the Capras rather than having to teach stuff to the Virgins) when the lithium hit the road, and the term self-immolation became well known, and barbecued Capra became as popular as shonky tobacco products on the black market, where ......

..... quite effective, but was a one-off, and that was the central problem ....... what with the cost of skydive training, aircraft hire, skydive club membership, and Semtex, belt, webbing vest, stain proof undies, and single use white sheets etc, the costs rose to a point where even Iraq sent down a bean-counter who asked for audited copies of all accounts, and the flow of cash then .....

"But" Harry whispered in the ear of the swarthy bloke next to him "BOCTBCG (Beware of Casper the bomb-chucking goast".

.... zoomed (avref) up (avref) the .....

..... it just lay there, like it was still on the spare parts shelf at OT's Earthmoving Emporium and Foundry. But everyone was amazed when one of the goasts started to levitate above (avref) the crowd. "Don't worry about him" assured Halal al Alalahaka (Harry to his mates) "As that's just his party trick when he's been into the hash. We just call him "Casper" when he does this and then ignore him." But Casper had something else in mind, and he ......

..... fidels have also been struck by thru-bolt shrapnel (not may people know that some have claimed that it was a "shaped-charge", but it has since been proven that it was just thru-bolt shaped), which the UN have declared to outside the Geneva Convention, and the fidel bomb-chuckers have subsequently filed a class action with the ICC to receive compensation for their ......

Crappy hopes that we have no readers who are homophobic, as here we have a rather frank, shocking and disturbing admission by Turbo of his carnal (or canal) relationship with a GFA member, ..... NTTIAWWT.

... with their feet up on the desk and a Maccas happy-burger stuffed in their cakehole, while a .......

And there, dear readers, is proof of the influence of the NES, and of the turgidplonker himself, as an individual poster. Prior to this post, the Strait of Hormuz, and the Ayatollah's Theocratic Regime were the big concentration, and now the conflict has moved back to Iran, with Jab based death and destruction raining down again on Tehran just like Operation Desert Storm. As a result, the Mayor, Alireza Zakani, was wearing clean undies & having coffee and cake in the main drag with lipstick on his best looking pet goat, (and not many people know that Tehran is twinned with Hiroshima), so when the 1st of the Jab drones hit the capital, the goat dropped a load and Alireza said in arabic & backwards "that was f@#& the What?", and he automatically blamed Marco Turbine and his brother Donald Turbine in the US, but instead, the driver of the Jab Drone was a bloke named Bruce from ......