Captain

.... of those indictments and charges in the pipeline, because even the Vicmanistan police frown on mating with baby mammoths (Tubb uses the term "breed" to indicate that they bred between themselves, but worldly-wise NESers know from his 24,400 posts on Wreck Frying (and whatever it is called now) that it always pays to by cynical when it comes to Turbo's famous sex-drive." Astute NESers, (but not our thousands of overseas viewers) will know that in addition to protests about how BRS has been treated (the Turbine Law Enforcement College [TLEC] taught Krissy at the AFP all she knows + gave her a couple of spare medals that were lying around) the upcoming additional protests by disgruntled old fly-boys draped in wrinkles & Aussie flags, will make national headlines as they bitch about RAA's name change from the AUF, Aircraft Pilots' name change from good old Wreck Frying, and the sad demise of Rag & Tube flying (avref). "This is the year of the old-phart protester" said Crappy as he spoke to Pauline, and was ......

, because it is a long way for a drone to fly (avref) from the freedom of Qld to the enemy territory of Mextoria, without overflying (avrefs galore) NSW, but once they started to froth, all the owners simply wrote them off in their tax (Refer to Turbine, Turbine, BLOK & Co), cracked a XXXX (and yes, they cracked a XXXX too [spelt PHXX]) and didn't care anymore. The reference above to "some of Russia's worst nightmares" has been used as part of a promotional coup by Turbine Marketing when they moved the manufacturing plant to central Qld at the renamed Chernobiloela, where the PPE was soon in tatters from the fumes and the manager had .......

..... top fell off all of the wonder product bottles, and that meant that .....

.... it's a swarm of bees ..... because almost all of our enemies are so inbred (some of the dirty buggers have even been at it like rabbits all through this Anzac Day weekend, instead of standing at attention), and their inbreeding makes them prone to anaphylaxis and hymenoptera. (And speaking of the bit in front of the "optera", [where Abe was shot] there aren't too many of those in the towns of our enemies). But the catgut strung TD's were also good for .....

..... because some DRR dope had programmed in the wrong town and a small set of mining shanties in an NT "town" were taken out by an "6.4 magnitude earthquake" (the standard friendly fire excuse along the NT/Qld border). As all NESers will know, there have been a lot of "6.4 or bigger magnitude quakes" throughout southern Lebanon and in Iran lately, plus the subsequent test firing by DRR into a target on the SA/NT border a week or 2 ago was using just a light load of just mag 5.4, not to mention the subsequent rogue firing by DRR on the Cadia mine site outside Orange. Sales of Turbine Scramjets were strong and getting more so, resulting in Turbo contemplating "doing an Elon" and considering floating a few of his sub-corporations in an IPO that has been described as ...... Catsh!tsrUs also has a strongly developing client base and gardens are looking healthier all over the nation, such that almost all of the population are now accustomed to seeing millions of moggies wearing the Turbine branding (A T like a Tesla T, burnt into their left bum cheek), sitting in gardens as below. [Not many people know that Cappy was the only one of Tubb's mates, or employees, who knew how to successfully hold all those cats while the branding irons were shuffled to and from the forge, then applied].

.... they had expected as the Chief DRR had already purchased an engine from Turbine Scramjets Inc (TSI), a strange yet wonderful dichotomy, given that scramjets don't have any turbine sections, but Turbo knew that and delighted in the fact that in a single name he was combining 2 competing technologies, just like he did with .... It is little known that it was Turbo who invented the term "Scramjet" after he had just told 3 annoying grandkids to bugger off.

.... a good quid was made, and all that money was then swiftly dispatched out of the country ..... to WA ..... just like Somali Minnesota fraudsters Western Union their cash to Al Shabab to buy AK47s mounted to Drifters (although they have not yet developed prop synchronizers for the Drifter/AK47 units and have had most of their combat success hitting their enemies with pieces of prop [and prop-less Drifters] because they can't yet afford Iranian drones with their ..... PS - The Western Union referred to above is the WA CAT & Komatsu Spare Parts Union led by a well-known tough One Percenter with a close sounding pseudonym in the NES, and why he gets quite upset when we show him in a onesie. (Below is the great WA CaKSPU owner in his younger days and before he sewed the 1%er badge on his monkey onesie, which he sells under his exclusive Kakspew branding)

....the Bowen Flying Group, known under their secret ASIO ID of BUTTER, to seek an alliance with Giuseppe, in order to counter the increasing aggressive influence of the growing City of Jambin flyers, (in the Shire of Banana) and their group name of Plum ........

..... look a blotchy red, which some described as a bit barren, hence his flying pseudonym, which was ......

..... was described in the aviation (avref) press as a HeavyEmpennage, or under the shortened name of, a HE. Guiseppe was pleased with his HE, which he created and finished in 4 days, and then he subsequently development a shorter version which he called a SHE, ....... and the SHE was created when Guiseppe took a rib from the HE, ..... after which he rested (ceased creating for the good of the AUF) on the 7th day (note plethora of bibletyperefs), because Giuseppe was actually the nearest thing you can find to a .......

.... entrepreneur of the Uncle Giuseppi's Boggawigga's Pizza Chain (note the double possessive, which is significant), that just celebrated the opening of its 250 store, known as "Humpys" in the self-effacing way that the Boggawigga always do. Giuseppe had gone from strength to strength, in a way that only the ......

Welcome back Onesie.

.... as the Irish Boggawigga Army (the IBA) were about the have a clash with the Irish Loyalist Bogga Orangemen (the LBO), in what would become famously known thereafter as the "FNQ Troubles", after the International Protestant Fraternal Order was formed in Ireland in 1795 and immediately exported via the convict ships to infect the locals. "Anyway, eh, this is better than being a cannibal, eh, as them other Boggawiggas taste like bog, eh, and we .....

.... once he received a whistleblower tip that the cat's tail analysis was undertaken by Turbine Genetic, STI and Pregnancy Tests Inc (TGSTI&PTI). The Dingo Inspector knew a thing or 2 about dingo's propensity for young children, and that meant that .......

.... that if the Public Servants Party (the PSP) was to team up with the Phillip Island Displaced MotoGP Party (the PIDMGPP) and align with the Debt Free Victoria in a Million Years Party (the DFViaMYP), and several thousand disenfranchised Collingwood 2 Toothers, they and One Nation, apart from the petty Coalition Party Room Brawls, could control both house, cut taxes, balance the budget and Vicmanistan could be whole again. It fell to the Cory Bernardi of Mextoria to govern this motley crew (bandref) with an iron fist and that is how, dear readers, our best friend Turbo became what is known forever in Aussie politics as the "Victorian Disruptor" (the VD) of the Mextorian political scene. It was then that he asked his best mate, Crappy to leave the Hells Angels, the Rebels and the Mongols ... where he was a patched member of each club and Sergeant at Arms of all 3 of 'em, ..... and was negotiating a cooperation agreement between them all worldwide ..... so when Don asked he and Tubb to give him a hand with Iran during the Pakistan meetings it was a piece of pxxx and they they both readily agreed just to be able to put their feet up & have a spell, ....... but when Turdy asked Crappy to then be the Sergeant at Arms over all 5 political organizations (previously known as being "The Whip") .... but we can't use that term any more after Turbo's unfortunate incident with 9 cats and a .........

....d in true politician mode said "Can I drop 'em for you for some campaign cash?", to which Mr X turned to show his lycra front, then pulled out a $100 note and responded, "All of this could be yours Jazzi, if you would just resign and use the CFMEU missing money to pay down debt". "Are you a complete dill?" she replied and immediately .....

.... adage that if you promise the idiot voters (Vicref) anything, they'll vote Labor. After all, we have the $15 billion fighting fund from the CFMEU and Jazzi is going to do her bit by appearing in a low cut .....

...., as a brilliant business strategist and as a consummate man of substance, felt that this Afghan lifestyle aspiration was still a bit below where Mextoria needed to set its sights, notwithstanding that the Mextorian Govt had been taking the standard of living vertically downwards for decades, faster than a 172 that had broken up while passing through a thunderstorm. This far-sighted strategist was self-made, was close to Jeff Kennett, was opposed to Turbans, Belts, Tea-towels, Goat-Tracks and Roads or any combination thereof, particularly those where cyclists can hit 4WDs at speed, so he was about to ......

...., perhaps another Paul Keating. It is not often that we can break world significant news on the NES, ..... but for all Vicmanistan based members of Wreck Frying and the NES, I can disclose that Afghanistan has this morning agreed to offer compassionate aid to Mextoria under their "Turban, Tea-towel and Goat-Track" initiative, and as one of the conditions the Taliban have promised to be less authoritarian that Dan, plus to have Mextoria back to Afghanistanian standards of living by 2045.

The Turbo kiddies in OT's shearing shed, waiting for their ice-cream, yams and sand. The girls most resemble their procreator.

.... vanilla icecream. After the deprivations of Mextoria and the stigma of being the discarded fruit of Turbo's loins (Up the Khyber Turbo used to joke to the locals that there is a lion in them loins) the nippers from Moorabbistan loved the newfound freedom of Western Australia and the bon-vivant of Uncle Onesie, with their only complaint being the sand up their jocks and in their icecream. "Eat up you little wooses" replied OT as he gave them a clip under the ear "As the men and the ankle-biters of the great West are made of sterner stuff and besides, we need you Mexicans to pick & wash our strawberries". It was at that moment that the cute little turbine look-alike nippers knew that they were in for a crappy WA life, would never make it to Cottesloe, Peppermint Grove, or Dalkeith unless they were there to clean the dunnies .... while at the same time one of the nippers "borrowed" OT's phone and received a response from ChatGPT about their rights to the Turbine fortune via the response "All it needs is to prove that you were spawned by one of the great man's taddies and there is a cushy life ahead, if you just .......

.... has been taking in displaced Turbo sired Mextorian waifs who had made it across the Nularbor, and he is retraining the poor little buggers via the use of .....

..... went commando, and without the kevlar undies to protect his agates, Turdy paid 5-year-old kiddies 2 pieces of bubblegum to start his car each time he needed it. Not many people know that Turbo has always treated young kiddies as disposable, the same way he does with his pussies and his ......

... Turbo realized that hanging out with Mick Gatto in his white Rolls was the way to go, so he gave donations to Mick's charities, sent him Xmas & birthday cards, got his hair cut in the Melbourne gangland style, and used to frequent the Love Machine (Mexico's equivalent of Wagga's Blue Oyster Bar). But Turbo had been just too successful and quickly found out that he had replaced Carl Williams without even trying and had numerous crims offering to join the Turd-ton, as opposed to the Carl-ton, Crew ..... and in a flash Tubb had his own Benny Veniamin trying to polish him off, (even Crappy was offered a contract, bearing in mind his reputation for having plugged Turbo previously) so that .......

.... anyone else with a garish horseless carriage, as they get a bonus for booking any red car, as they are always the fastest, with bonus points for sports cars, double bonus for American iron (and leather), and a special expensive gift (and a new medal) for booking and handcuffing any ......