Captain

8 minutes ago, bull said:

..making them wave their arms around ,causing the westernised people to call them itchy bums ,you would see them riding the horses waving their arms around because of the itch.  Now Turdo had.................

.... had experienced similar symptoms from what was known at that time as "The Khyber Rash", which also had a burrowing mite that .....

HERE IS A TYPICAL WA CRACK.

WOWEE THAT MUST BE PAINFUL, AS IT WOULD HURT EVEN IF ON YOUR HEEL (Turboref).

TAKE SPECIAL NOTE OF THE SAND DOING ITS EVIL WORK.

NOT TO MENTION THAT THING WITH THE 10 OR 12 LEGS (SINCE CHECKED WITH DR GOOGLE TO BE THE COMMON WA ARSE MITE (ARSUS BITEMUILIUM AGONOSTICUS).

34 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Western Australia had a very slow beginning, and if you were a young immigrant approaching marriageable age, you had to take was available whether ir was your cousin or not  and a lot of sand-eaters look the same and talk the same and..........

.... have the same constant affliction of sand chafing their crack ...... and ......

..... still visits the Khyber (NTTIAWWT) ..... Pass that is, to revisit all the girls in the villages (in their prescribed and agreed order), to rescue any serviceman (Afghan, Chinese, Indian [dot, not feather], British or left over Russian) in distress (Cappy is an equal opportunity rescuer) and to pick up whatever medals or awards that are in the offing from whatever tin pot country. 

Such bravery & selfless community service obviously puts the lie to Onesie's above vicious post, which is one, sadly, only too typical in attitude from a sand person to a Wise-Man-from-the-East made good, so .....

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......the tiger?”  but Cappy just passed it off as something anyone anyone.....

..... would would do do in in Gumly Gumly,, because because ...... ......

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........the ones on his back were from a Bengal Tiger.

Turbo couldn’t remember .........
 

..... all of the circumstances until Cappy showed him some pencil drawings (this was before film) of how Cappy was unarmed, yet rescued Turbo by bravely sticking his finger into the tiger's ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......has four other stories about pets being butched in Slovakia or a man being eaten by his dog in Texas, but Turbo was reasonably confident bcause he had his "I am not a Cessna" badge on, however ...........

..... he had a number of scratch marks on him, some certainly from the pussies, but some were also on his back, and after considersble DNA testing, it was discovered that .....

..... anything about a Cessna being involved, or .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

He tried .....

.... the animal liberationist approach of reasoning with it, but that didn't work either.

But then Turbo thought back to his pubescent youth and realised why the cat's were so cranky ..... and why their numbers were so stable.

He had kept them sexually separated for the past 12 months.

So with a single deft move, Turbo opened the male & female cages and watched what happened. (It was like a B&S Ball on steroids).

In fact he watched for an unhealthy length of time, and that was when the term "petaphilia" entered the modern lexicon, which .....

15 MINUTES IS NOT ENUFF TIME TO EDIT.

TURBO LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN THESE 2, BUT WITH A CAT FARM PUSSY ON HIS LAP TO HIDE HIS EXCITEMENT.

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

the punters lost interest, and decided that aircraft and airports (long overdue avref) were the next area where it was more likely that........

...... TI's Nile (which features a cheesy Turbo-like smile as their logo) would set up their package distribution networks.

Turdy appointed Joycey to run the show, based out of a bike shed at Barraba Regional Airport and CT submitted a tender to run the Mextorian operation, plus to also build a new Electric & Hydrogen Drifter production facility.

The CT fancies himself as the next Elon Musk and has also renamed the DG International Airport and Freight Hub (DGIA&FH) to add the words Space & Nile Port (which became popularly known by the catchy term CT'sDGIA&FH+S&NP).

As noted by OT, the AUF punters lost interest (which will never be the case with the NES where there are thousands of viewers), until they needed parts and embarrassing adult products delivered quick stix in brown papered boxes, so TI's Nile division took off and as a result, Turbo was invited to speak at the next WEF meeting ......................... except that he was regarded as soooo influential that the WEF dumped Davos and they all flew to Moorabbin, which grew to become the center of the ............

PS - At time of writing Turbo has been proposed to take over the WEF from Klaus Schwab, as Turbo has the perfect Dr Evil look (even better than Klaus's) and has undertaken to conscript a suitable cat from one of the farms.

TURBO SELECTED THIS SELF PORTRAIT-LIKE LOGO FOR HIS NILE PARCEL NETWORK

TURBO TRIED TO BUY THE RIGHTS TO USE THIS LOGO, BUT THE STONES TOLD HIM TO GET KNOTTED.

..... Jeff Bayzos decided to cut his losses and Turbo picked up Amazon for a song.

Turdfeatrenamed it Nile and the sales were back up at an increase of 80% year on year, at least that ...

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........their product descriptions added a layer of confusion and packages often arrived .................

..... tied with vine & looking like they had been used as part of one of those tower diving, non-bungee cord, sessions.

This all added to the value of the .....

THE BOXES WERE ALL CHUCKED OFF HERE TO GIVE THEM ADDED AUTHENTICITY AND COLLECTABILITY ..... AND HENCE, MORE VALUE.

Photos courtesy of the Turbine Tower Diving Collective.

TURBS, THE GREAT MAN HIMSELF, ABOUT TO TEST THE TOWER. THIS PIC TAKEN EARLY IN THE PROCESS, AS IT IS NOT RUNNING DOWN HIS LEG YET.

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......get cargo after cargo again until they were Fatfella....and.

..... rich, ........ because in an ultimate irony, they flogged off their excess cargo to western buyers on Ebay, where .....

.... this was celebrated via the GDC freelance dance competition, which reflected the .....

21 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....had had a hand in the start of construction of the BoB. However, typically, Cappy was nowhere to be seen, when the next stage of construction was ready to be commenced, because Cappy had found out that there was work........

..... needed of either a physical or cerebral nature, plus he knew of what & who had been incorporated into the original foundations.

So he f.......

PS - Welcome back bull. Have you executed any lucrative contracts, or crims, lately?

..... Joycey to come down from his ivory tower and lead them in song, before he ......

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Suddenly Mr Win had a brainwave .............

...... which he thought would provide a win, win, Win, and he ......

16 hours ago, Captain said:

(and as per Turbo's previous post where he mentioned Jabba the Hutt,

ANOTHER ASIDE - It appears that Turbine Industries are consumed by Jabba the Hutt issues, as Turbine Catering are featuring the below dish in their thousands of restaurants, for the months of September & October. 

....... the angle of the dangle, and that, Your Honour, mate, is another issue with regard to Turbo's so-called banana, because .....

A SELF PORTRAIT FILE PHOTO, TAKEN BY TURBO, BUT OBVIOUSLY WHEN HE WAS MUCH YOUNGER. 

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

 It then fall down into a his word against his situation or ..................

..... as Lawyers do, and Cappy should know, they wasted 2 days of the Court's time arguing over whether the fish was a Carp or a Cobia  and it wasn't resolved until a HiDe expert was retained at great expense and the Judge asked him "Now Mr bull, as the world's leading HiDe proponent & user, and as a contract killer of note, please tell the Court ......

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The Editor printed the AI result which said Turbo (short for Turbocharger which is sometimes found on Cessnas) had travelled a lot, but didn't eat bananas, (a source of Platinum) or play coconuts from which is extracted Copra. A photo of a Cessna was added and .................

...... while the pic was a little grainy, everyone was happy, even though some thought that the tail looks a bit more like a Jabiru (and as per Turbo's previous post where he mentioned Jabba the Hut, it is understood that the new owners are actually located within a building, so Turbo's insight and intuition has successfully predicted the future, yet again).

However, the controversy had not gone away as a blow-up of the photo shows that Turbo's left nut was tattooed with the words "Property of Turbine Industries" and his right one had a tatt that read "Madge was Here" in a Japanese font (マッジはここにいた).

The Banana on the other hand didn't look entirely natural, and it was clear that it had been circum.........

14 hours ago, onetrack said:

but when he mentions he loves dreadful French cars, and dreadful French aircraft, that's it! - he's no better than.......

As an Aside .... our thousands of French NES readers please look away now (nos milliers de lectrices françaises de NES s’il vous plaît détourner le regard maintenant), Cappy recently bought a Citroen and a Peugeot convertible for his girlfriends, but both rejected them and one wanted a Nissan GTR and the other wanted a Shelby Mustang, so Cappy took both convertibles back to the dealer and was offered 5% of what he paid for them. So Cappy completely understands Onesie's distain in his earlier post.

..... Ahlox, who had been photographed last year with a bigger & healthier looking banana than Turbo's sad specimen, and Ahlo promised to .....

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

After this great acceptance of Cappy, Turbo realised Cappy might be the best person to do the selling so he ..........

..... appointed him as a Sales Person (Turbo is following the Alan Joyce school of management, hence that the position is not gender specific ..... [Cappy actually identifies as a Hitite Warrior from 1200 BC, and looks to be about the right age too]) and poor Crappy then has to try to sell the fact that Turbo's nuts had been very poorly dehusked, and while it was not noticeable at the time, between his nuts was what appeared to be a damaged & partly blackened banana. 

Once the photos came out, they made .....