Captain

WRECK FLYING NEWS - It has been reported that Dan (The Man) Andrews was yesterday seen having a soy almond chai latte with a well known & dynamic, yet colourful but shady, business identity, and they were overheard to be discussing Dan picking up a role as Chairman of Turbine Industries.

Mr. TurbinePlonker was also overheard to use words to the effect of "This will help us get all the commy business.

9 hours ago, onetrack said:

Matthews returned promptly as the noise settled down, and he announced, "As it is obvious all you aviators are hooligans and untrustworthy, I as Minister, am going to introduce tougher rules and regulations and penalties for non-compliance in the PNGUF, which as it is rapidly becoming apparent, the group represents nothing more than rabble in the aviation community, and this needs to be......

..... encouraged as part of our construction of a Chinese Military Base via our Braces and Tracks Agreement, where the CCP are in a JV with Turbine Industries (TI), the PNGUF, and also with Turbine Missiles and Space Administration (TM&SA) where Lae will rapidly become a major space port and the TM&SA will rival SpaceX with their ......

(As a little bit of a confidential confession, Cappy advises that he is an admirer {and a bit of a Groupie] of Elon Musk and it has only recently become apparent to Cappy [he is a bit slow] that Turbo and Elon are so similar that they could be one and the same. If so, it would be a real coup for the NES if we have Elon posting here under Turdy's pseudonym]).

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This extended the war by a year, and the Papuans were all driving Bentleys when supply became available after the war, and they even had some early ultralights with the effeminate Rotax Ski Doo engines flying through the ............

..... passes, in the mist @ IMC standards, up blind valleys, all under the influence of Beetle Juice and in an enlightened move, this was all done with the approval of the PNGUF, which considered that .....

.... he said "I fought on the Kokoda Trail".

"Fought dysentary and the runs from both ends, last week, when I accidentally strayed off the easy & flat Wooses Latte Trail, onto the steep and nasty ....

WARNING TO NES'ers .... Turdy may well be in Wreck Flying Jail (RFJ) based on a complaint from LatinAutor-UMPG for using an unauthoriesed video of the Andrews Sisters. Use care if associating with him until this is resolved.

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As Lae came into view .......

..... Turbo flew one of his arrogant straight-in approaches with the music blaring & the radio on the wrong frequency (known in aviation parlance all over OZ, and now throughout PNG, as T's AS-IAs), scattering all the airline flights, and once landed in Lae he was given a lay and after such a long period of celebacy, and being on the menu in the Highlands, he went looking for a good la..........  

THE VERY LAY THAT TURBO WAS GIVEN ON ARRIVAL IN LAE.

(NOW KEPT UNDER LOCK AND KEY IN THE AUF HALL OF FAME)

7 hours ago, bull said:

.gathered up some firewood and announced that the village in the highlands would have a community feast, with Turdo as the main course! Quick said OT hide in here as he pushed..................

...... Turdo into the village pantry and gave him a full body massage (erky perky) with olive oil.

While Turdy is a little on the scrawny side, he is quality merchandise nevertheless, so the villages decided to use him as Hors d'Oeuvres on a bed of used palm fronds and yams that were a bit "off", to also be served with an astringent ......

.... give it all a good scratch  then rub savlon cream liberally on all the itchy bits.

To the natives, who were looking secretively through the Sawgrass, Turbo doing that looked like ......

........ presented with a HUGE gourd that was painted in the rainbow colours, but also with a Vote YES sticker over the drain-hole in the end.

Turbo wore it with pride to the ........

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

One Cowrie shell could be swapped for a decent machete, but two pigs got you a...........

...... rrested if they found any evidence of your arms dealing.

Turbo, however, in his usual slick way, had established a good relationship with the police and he .....

..... it could still get angry when .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....and wilted....

.... ,yet somehow, still .....

23 hours ago, Captain said:

.... this was not in proportion to his .....

...... wizened ....

On 22/09/2023 at 6:42 PM, bull said:

..........relocate this intruder. So he rose to his massive height of 6,6ft and ............

.... this was not in proportion to his .....

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

OT...........

...... looked at Bruho's withered bone and said " You are not supposed to use THAT bone, and get your hand off it".

Bruho apologized, looked embarrassed and it became clear that his hand was needed to ......

2 hours ago, bull said:

............was.............gay   , now this caused............

....... some confusion, particularly when Onesie was quickly nominated to be the President & the Poster Child of LMBTQRST Australia (as he certainly does have "that" look about him).

However, OT quickly clarified the matter and stated "bull is confused by his lack of punctilliation & pronouns, as he actually nominated me as gay .......... meaning that I am optimistic, happy, carefree and have a cheerful, amusing and lighthearted manner."

bull was remorseful, having (on a public forum where the entire WA aviation community [there might even be 3] is watching) dropped OT well and truly into the .......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

OT had difficulty compehending; here was a Papuan Princess with a bone through her nose showing more skills than the AUF hierarchy and ...........

..... she was finally able to get through to OT on how to perform sideslipping without looking like a one-winged seagull, and she finally showed him how to stay on the centerline (or anywhere near the runway in OT's case) with crossed controls.

"F&$# crossed controls" OT said "I used to just get cross ...... and then do multiple missed approaches until the wind eventually lined up with the runway" OT confided. 

"She's fantastic, so I took her downtown for a coffee and croissant at the Bell Tower, before she addressed my other big coordination issue, which was that I ......

..... "I am a resident of the North Island, and are you interested in a quick .....

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....tattoo on your.......

..... rickety .....

..... dacks and he wasn't wearing a gourd.

But then a nubile tribeslady stepped out, looked OT over and said "Gawd ..............you have a .....

..... blew .....

35 minutes ago, bull said:

...rather queer northern Highlands Tribe in PNG he once crossed paths with who had................

...... wanted to anoint him as a God (this sort of thing happens all the time), but with his usual modesty, he declined and instead nominated Onesie ....., because WA needs the prestige and is more like the highlands in its social structure. 

OT was willing, on the condition that .....

..... just a little stirred up, but as Turbo was aware from other campaigns, that is when Crappy is at his most dangerous, as was found in his successful campaigns against the Zulus, the Boars, the Indians (dot not feather), those pesky Americans, and those ......

.... flying (avref) up into the wonderous blue and freeing ourselves from the weighty bonds of earth .....

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

Corporal Pandit Delhi loosed off a round wich went straight between the two riders.

The General ordered Sergeants T and One Pass to  "clear out the beggars"  and five minutes later it was done.

Within minutes .................

..... Sgt T and Sgt O had posted several conclusive arguments on the Kyber Pass Forum which were accepted by the Bengals (except that objections were posted by bengdriver and old bengeela, who never really liked the sargents very much anyway).

Both Sgts received a membership upgrade as a result of their posts, the beggers buggered off, and the ......