Captain

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....quiet reminder from the helmsman that he was navigating a ship.

bull didn't like the raised eyes and made the mistake of taking his concentration off the ship; the cunning helmsman allowed him to run it into the North...........................

.... ern arm of the Don River so that his revered Captain could get off at Inveroona and go to the local .....

6 hours ago, bull said:

.................these new fangled ipads and that strange magic from the sky "GPS",,,,and whilste Bull waas swiping and sliding and opening etc the aircraft had started to .........

...... slip and slide almost in unison. 

Casual observers admired his crossed controls and his side slips, which provided a better show than the professionals at Avalon or the amateurs at Natfly.

Bull turned on his Eriksson flip phone, in expectation of a call from Red Bull, but all he got was a ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........followed the magenta line back to safe Harbour.

Suddenly he realised he was in Goulburn which is not on the coast..........................................

.

.... but such a thing is just a mere detail to Captain bull, and as usual he set about quickly addressing the issues that he could control by following the most valuable rules in aviation (avref).

He applied the most proven mnemonics ...... Eyes outside, and then he considered ......

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........bowsprit figure on the ship, and was horrified to find it was of rotund build, the spitting image of CT, although unshaven, and was carrying a Brno .222 in its hand and ...........

..... instead of a string of bunnies on his hip, there were numerous baby dolphins that were ready for the pot, or for further processing, plus there were dolphin skins wired onto the bow sprit. (What a ct this spit of our beloved CT must be).

Captain Bull considered what to do as he ......

1 hour ago, bull said:

........................and soon had such a market that Bullmarines fleet had grown exponentially within a short period of 6 months ,The fleet now consisted of 9 fully refrigerated seafood hualers,12 container ships and several rig tenders and ocean going salvage tugs. Having given up fishing , old Bull had taken on one of these fine vessels and began scouring the oceans for stricken ships ,and soon gained a reputation to rival the best.....On a dark night 340 nautical miles off the South Cape of Africa a very large container ship {Not a bulls marine vessel} They  had blown a piston and was taking on water from broken cooling system pipes.   ,Bull soon had the {Esmerelda}  [one of his best latest ocean going salvage tugs }     up to her maximum cruise speed of 23 knots and was soon on site and began to........................

..... whether there were any hot chicks in the crew of the stricken vessel.

The world's seafarers always did, and always will, respect old bull, as he was only trying to protect female crew members from danger, before he took the Esmerelda in close enough to see the ......

55 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........climb effortlessly, even with the weight of the giant prawn. He had already sold it to a Chinese Restaurant supplier, wo had already sold it to 56 restaurants, so time was of the essence and there would be more than a big stink if it wasn't delivered fast.

 

The hot sun ..............

..... combined with the figurative big stink, led to a dire situation that brought into question the singular transportation of prawns, and made .....

On 23/06/2024 at 4:33 AM, turboplanner said:

........not so obsessed with the huge white prawn to tackle it bare - handed. He knew from his prawning job that there is nothing like the kock of a Tasmanian prawn. However he managed to get a rope around it and gave the Drifter full throttle and headed for the surface where ......

...... the extra oxygen would restore the Drifter's magnificent power and the air amsl would lift the efficiency of that exceptional wing profile to .....

On 20/06/2024 at 3:09 PM, turboplanner said:

.....tied in with his sinking stomach.

Unlike Captain Ahab, Captain bull was ..........................................

..... an occasional Liberal voter who also liked One Nation, because, as a Tasmanian interior decorator, he thought that Pauline's carpet would also match the drapes.

But most of all he fancied the "Big White Praen" of Tasmania, Jaquie Lambie, who bull really wanted to join him on the prawn trawler where they could .......

bull carries the following photo in his wallet (which is now bulgeing unbelievably beyond expectations from his prawning exploits), and bull bulges when he looks at the photo too ...... plus he has it tattooed on his right one (bicept that is).

...... which matched his sunken eyes, and which also ......

39 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........think back through all Cappy's nefarious acts and finally admit that he'd beaten even Cappy.

All we can say it it involved six grains of wheat.

It's good to see the NES being graced by the Big Prawn Ship Captain. Not many people know that for the last month bull had been engaged in an epic battle trying to land a giant white prawn.

It had simply eaten through his nets, so he tried shooting it, running over it in his tinny and even tying a cable around it and dragging it backwards towards shaw but each time it just gave a flick of that giant tail and ....................

..... disappeared into the depths, only for Captain bull to cunningly .....

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

All we can say it it involved six grains of wheat.

As Turbo well knows, the trick is to always count them prior to insertion, then reconcile the count after removal.

1 hour ago, bull said:

.peanut butter jar at the Australian open players snak room.   Now Kad Kad island was renowned for the ferocious cats that had mutated after escaping from one of turdys farms. But way back in the islands past an episode so despicable had occurred that had ........

..... even Turdboy staying schtum.

As we all know, Turdy will boast and opinionate about anything if he thinks he can get away with it, yet what had happened was so egregious that he had to ......

All NESers should note that both Capt bull and Cappy are staying totally loyal to our mate & compatriot, Turbo, as we are not dobbing him in, no matter what, even if he had proven via this episode on the island, to be a bit of an opportunist, a cad and a dispicable bounder. Such is the loyalty that Turdy engenders in all who come in contact with him.

..... the island had been named after bull because of his participation in that despicable episode, where he had been caught out, with his tongue in the .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

............Gelignite Jack car when it left the start line and was associated with the saying at parties "blew the hubcap off that one".  GJack, as he was known had just reached Gympie on the way down when ......

..... they received hub cap # 10147 from Bill Wilson , the Dealer Principal at Gympie Holden.

As an interesting trivia item, it was hub cap #10147 that was presented to Her Madge & Phil the Greek during one of their visits and which got Bobby Menzies one of his gongs.

To save on excess baggage charges, Her Madge had offloaded this precious item to the one wharfy that was working, cleaning the Royal Yacht in ......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"Why would you be publishing an FX Holden hub cap?" asked Cappy, "you can drive along any country road and collect millions of them."

A tear came to Oehor's eye and he replied ".........

..... I am convinced that it will generate greater returns, and it is simpler, if I publish each and every Humpy hubcap, rather than just polishing them. Many people don't realise that every one of those hub caps is individually numbered and each therefore has a unique history that I think your average Skippy would be very interested in, particularly number 9,642, which was part of the .....

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Chinese MG after a few valve jobs.

"That's why I bought a Jag" replied Cappy "there's nothing like a real British luxury car."

OT looked at Cappy, but couldn't bring himself to say anything but there was a tickle in his stomach which went to his throat, and couldn't be suppressed.

"What!?" snapped Cappy, becoming suspicious and .......

...... then added "Surely OT, my good & loyal friend, (mate-in-aviation even), you don't believe nor propagate those myths about jag cracked & warped heads, do you? ..........(the cracks actually propagate too, BTW)?"

"NO" yelled OEHOR, with emphasis, "I actually believe that ......

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......went back to polishing the rocker covers of a 22 litre Cat motor from a Scraper.

He adjusted his skirt and continued “......

.... And are you aware of the fascinating mix of elements of which the Cat rocker cover is composed? This mix makes a Cummins rc look like a .......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

OT had struck up a relationship with the local SC Flogger, a distant cousin of Wagga's Constable Doubtfire, and ............

..... they hatched a cunning stunt.

"You be Boss Hog and I'll be Daisy Duke" said Onesie, before he ......

On 11/06/2024 at 12:42 PM, turboplanner said:

.........anything. In fact some were even begatted.

Against this bleak background, while OT was away moving the recovered Nazi treasures to his secret lair out in the WA sandhills, and bull was in charge of a whaling ship, standing on the bow like Moby Dick,

Cappy and Turbo had been invited to the 2024 Khyber Pass Reuinion. Both had bought new orange Turbans for the occasion and Cappy was making a claim that his arrived unassembled. "All I got was a roll of satin ribbon" he complained. The response from Delhu was immediate; "I am colling you fom the deli" Cappy heard, but ....................

...... he didn't want any devon/fritz today, so he hung up.

The Khyber reunion was a massive success with Tubb and the Skipper as the stars, as usual.

Meanwhile Cappy questioned Turbo for calling bull as a bit of a Dick, and surely he meant to say Captain Ahab, because to fit a whale up on the bow is a bit of an issue. 

The Nazi paintings of which Onesie is so proud, went down a treat in the Southern Cross Institute building where he ......

14 hours ago, Captain said:

WE HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO BEGAT FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

OR EVEN TO PRACTICE A BIT OF BEGATING.

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

because in the old days Vlad begat Vled and Vled begat Vlid and it was Vlid who begat Vlod after a night on the turps.

MODERATOR 7 ..... TURBO IS ON ANOTHER FINAL WARNING WITH HIS DESPICABLE USE OF THE TERM "BEGAT" IN HIS ABOVE POST ..... BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TO BEGAT MEANS TO PUT THINGS INSIDE OTHER THINGS, WHICH IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE ON THIS FORUM ......BECAUSE ALL OF THE MODERATTI SPEND SO MUCH TIME MODERATING THAT WE HAVEN'T HAD THE CHANCE TO BEGAT FOR QUITE SOME TIME.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Not many people know, including CT that he has some Ukrainian blood in him, probably from Vlad the ..........

..... impregnator, but Vlod denied that had ever even met CT's ......

To Cappy, Turdbro Vlad and Vlod mixed up, he has (Not that anything wrong with that there is. [NTAWWTTI])

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....codes into the caves of Delphi.

Tis presented ........

..... a problem for both te Oracle and te Charioteer, and tat problem was tat ......

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........typical tradie and just slapped them anywhere, these days often several hundred metres from the correct string line.

"It's an aquired art" said Vlod who also disclosed .........

..... that he had acquired a propensity to paint like Picaso, to design and to build his cathedrals like Gaudi, to run his Playboy franchise dressed like Onesie (which is High Hefner on steroids [and viagra]), and to stick his ......

58 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...standing in front of the latest pile of bricks in Russia.

This Vlod agreed to because.................

..... his moto had always been "Better Vlod than Vlad" and when it came to bricks, Vlod was a ......