Captain

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........borked him in the jewels and then .......

...... removed his jewels before borking him again in his .......

The above references the wealth of WA and the individual success of OT, in that he is always bedecked in jewels, even his jewels are bejeweled, from his time out around the mines.

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...........attempt to emasculate Onesy, but screamed as Onesy bit off half his ear.

He stabbed upwards, the sure-fire SAS way to destpatch an enemy, but Onesey had grabbed a manhole cover and broke his knife and then his teeth.

In desperation Errol ..........

This post, dear Readers, is in need of some clarifications.

1. Onesie has been working hard at his "Masculating" over many years and would have to one of the most masculate members of the Wreck Flying (avref) community in WA.
   He will therefore always be a target and will be very difficult to emasculate.
    
2. Onesie's deftness and natural fighting qualities are demonstrated here via his ability to access manhole covers at will and to then detooth Ecka after breaking the ceremonial dagger (to just refer to it as a knife diminishes Onesie's achievement).

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

That was until one of them said "I knew you were an Organ Grinder Onesey, but who's the monkey"

Errol had been an SAS Sergeant and now he ......................

..... could at long last have the fun of applying his skills domestically.

Errol withdrew the larger of the 2 ceremonial daggers and proceeded to .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

in the second clip which featured an Armenian Hugi dancer, the popular Vladovisa Vlodominich, providing a floor show while Markey spoke, he recognised something of himself and had squeezed into the Opal and headed for Perth. No one had seen Errol since and it was feared that he ......

..... had bought himself a full set of Armenian Hugi national costume plus a scimitar with 2 ceremonial daggers, which all weighs about 95 kgs, and is hot as, and hard to wear as you trudge through the soft & deep WA sand, so Errol was in deep .....

..... were listening again to Marky's excellent video that translates his Covid message for both white and black Western Australians.

Many found it amazing what are the language differences highlighted below, and in particular Errol thought that .....

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........VW drivers are Wankers. The group's designated sign writer didn't know how to spell W. When asked so spell it he wrote "Dubble-Yew". He was from W.A, but there was no one else who could write, so the group just had to .....

.... accept that the signwriter was dyslexic, which is a bit of an issue when you deal in the written word.

What had meant to be on the sign was WADV, which was the abbreviation for Western Australians D.........

22 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........great brute strode out. Turbo recognised CT by the faint bunny odour, and had never seen him so angry. Turbo thought CT was going to destroy the Corvette and yelled "Not the Corvette!", "Not the Corvette!" but Ct swept past him, grabbed half a dozen POTYCS and hurled them towards .........

...... the nearby protest groups, one with signs saying "Yellow Lives Matter (YLM)" and another claiming that Yellow Cones were gaining preference because the Rainbow Cones were being prejudiced against, however there was a 3rd group holding signs saying "VDaW" and while this could have meant "Vette Drivers are Wankers", it actually referred to .......

5 hours ago, bull said:

many countries but,,,,was ironically made into a cartoon about Ratty,s adventures up the Khyber Pass [under an alias of course....] Now this........

..... made Turdy envious because his involvement in toons has, to date, been limited to his driving of the red 'Vette in order to run down yellow cones ..... see below.

Turbo longed for his excellent & scintillating service record to be recorded on film and he .......

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....tory about the Khyber Pass, just for study purposes.

Cappy seized ..........................

..... the opportunity, & the ladies, and locked them in a bungalow ..... not with nefarious intent, but just because people tend to always bugger off when Ratso gets somewhere near the most interesting (sic) part of his stories (a bit like your grandfather locking neighbours in for a slide night to show them all the zoos that he visited around the world).

Cappy, being octolingual was able to get through to both ladies simultaneously in their own native lingo, and the girls were rivitted (one was like Onesie and had apparently only been rivetted once previously) so Cappy's story went .....

..... Nobu's younger sister and Chinese lady from Shenzhen, who were interested in a th.....

5 hours ago, bull said:

NB....And as the rat knows well old Bull never ever had a short period without the female attention! So the Homophobic insinuations will have to cease! Beware because there is much much more interesting NES history that certainly poses question on which side of the fence old Turdy and the Captain may have "allegedly" engaged in some lewd immoral conduct that might require further examination and publication!!!  ................

 

......these lovely greeters that Bull had organised ,and the night soon turned into...........

...... a fishing competition and a contest to see who had or was the best lei.

The unpredictable outcome was that old bull was a ......

Ratty does understand how his time up the Khyber may attract homophobic connotations, particularly where Turbo was also involved, but Ratso can assure all concerned NESers that he and his great mate, Turdboy, are as straight as the Great Ocean Road or a Vicmanistan politician. 

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........which......

.... will also involve a contingent of .....

What?

NB .... South Pacific is also very popular with Captain bull, whose favourite song while driving the blue fishing boat is "There Is Nothing Like a Dame" ...... even moreso if he has been ladyless at sea for several weeks.

..... we will use Onesie, dressed as Bloody Mary & swearing like a Khyber Pass trooper, to lead the attack, which will then be .......

Onetrack in costume (on the left) preparing for the attack. He is actually taller than that, and the same height as the skinny bloke in the middle, so they stood him in a deep hole.

OT likes shells and provided his own necklace with shells collected from Rotty.

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......you'll have to do it again.

bull, bleeding from orifices, bruised to the level that he'd be graded as a rare steak, scratched beyond belief by the Tasmanian tigers thought about the humanity of it and .........

...... decided to get the moggies under control by using his experience from the trenches and caves of Bora Bora (bull had been retained by OBL and the Taliban to plan the .....

..... serious blue, and it was Cpartin that was the biggest troublemaker.

Their time at the cat farm with Tubby (sometimes joking called Tabby behind his back) meant that many of the moggies had taken on some of Turbo's personality traits and that spelt trouble for bull as he was ejected from the cartwheeling Drifter and tried to land on his feet.

"That landing looked a bit like Nadia Cominich, although a tad more portly" said Cpartin "So .......

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....his spare Laptop at the lead Cat, which the others had Christened "Captain" because he was always r....

...... eading the NES while licking his b.......

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....the cats attacked, tearing the Drifters fabric to ribbons. bull .................

..... 's natural muscle memory skills kicked in and he threw ......

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

... he put the Drifter’s nose down and headed for the stripers.

Something happens to a cat when it goes bush; it becomes very nasty and fights like a thrashing machine. bull got the Drifter just that little bit too low and 32 striped cats leaped up and hung on. The Drifter staggered and started to fall.....

..... (avref), and then .......

..... for our beloved & dynamic captain bull, herding cats was akin to his passion (avref) for fire walking and .....

..... his new business caĺled "Mile High Adventures", which he allied with his existing flying (avref) tour titled "Fascinating Places to See in Tasmania" (the highly regarded FPtSiT tour).

However there had always been one key issue with the FPtSiT venture, which was compounded when he added MHA to the itinerary, and that was that Tasmania and "Fascinating Places" go together like pork and middle eastern religions, and this caused bull some .....

..... really, really bitter & twisted (JaquiLref), before she had fully considered her ......

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

two, three er.........er [Joe Moment) er...four,,,,,then Count von Count forgot to count because across the Bone Bistro was .....

...... a vision of loveliness (a VOL) far hotter than anything he had seen, or experienced, anywhere in Tasmania (the Canteen Coffee Lady (the CCL) or Jaquie L even).

"Wow" thought bull, taking notice of his body's reaction and wheeling out his most suave chat-up line "How about a quick .....

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

For those who might not know where thye Don River is, the entrance if a kilometre north of Dog-off leash Beach.

By default this meant the crew could wreck Bowen's iconic Grand View Hotel well into the night without being disturbed by that booming controlling bull voice box calling them ........

..... to account.

Then bull became The Count von Count, wrapped Mavis in his black leather cape, and said "One, .......

bull with his infinity sign