Captain

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

"Ha ha, Suckers and Losers, I've got all the Iron Ore and all the money!", and her grin got bigger and bigger, until.......

.... OT responded with a brief reference to the Turbine Corporation and his mate Turdo/Jeffrey.

Gina went quiet and a bit moribund, and that .....

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....Gina and OT for years and they could often be seen smooching in the Kling Long Nightclub in Hong Kong after flying there in separate airlines.

It did look a bit odd because OT is so skinny, but they were happy enough and the partnership prospered until......

.... Gina became keen to perform the ping-pong trick (as a propellor, not a catcher) and that brought .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

and why.......

.... all of the eateries in Bunnings stores are called the Lang Walker Memorial Coffee Shop, with liberal amounts of low-grade iron ore and WA sand sprinkled about the joint for authenticity (the low-grade iron ore is supplied by Gina under a concessional pricing contract that is administered by OT, in exchange for a CAT spare parts concession at most of her mines).

This arrangement has suited both .....

18 hours ago, Captain said:

hence OT's regular silences on the NES when he was actually aboard the Lolita Express (avref), so he and Bill are like .....

Investigation Post ..... Crappy has a nose for shifty behaviour and he notices the silence, with no response from Turbo for almost a day.

Therefore could Turbo actually be Jeffrey Epstein, living in-cognito in Moorabbin, after having the real Turbo substituted in his cell (my compatriate best mate Turbo always did have a strange shaped bone protruding in his neck)?

If true, this might go some way to explaining this Turbo's extreme wealth (which stands out a little in downtown Moorabbin), his ownership of a Caribbean Island and the fact that Turbinia introduces this Turbo (not OUR Turbo) to lots of young ladies.

This Turbo is indeed, a quandary, wrapped in an enigma and if any NESers have more data on whether he is actually Jeff, please advise, as this Turbo is subtly different to my best mate with whom I spent considerable time Up The Khyber, where we shared a foxhole (but not a live fox, I hasten to add). Perhaps we should bend "this Turbo" over and check for Cappy's bullet hole next to his bullseye.

All comments and data most welcome as Cappy has confessed previously, he always found Gislaine Maxwell to be a super good sort and if he is Jeff, perhaps this Turbo can give me an intro & visiting rights.

46 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......electronic cures which could be bought on subscription. 

We shouldn't tell you this, but NES readers never bleat secrets out; you have to be very careful when talking around OT. Outwardly he projects himself as a Gentleman but he listens then he strikes, and he'd heard us discussing Bill and Jeffrey in the early morning NES  meeting a few weeks ago. Next thing we see  these ads coming up on facebook from "Dr Spick", offering cures online for everything from ingrown toenails to a full blown health cure to pass Class 2 Medicals. Just how this could be done electronically wasn't said but there were hints of delivery by drone anywhere in the world, and of course a money-back guarantee if .........

 

.... Onesie is caught droning on and on (and on and on).

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....... and he'd heard us discussing Bill and Jeffrey in the early morning NES  meeting a few weeks ago ........

.... hence OT's regular silences on the NES when he was actually aboard the Lolita Express (avref), so he and Bill are like .....

On 28/01/2025 at 12:14 PM, turboplanner said:

Following the established procedures of the AUF magazine

Not to mention the numerous AK47 magazines.

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....their chainsaws  to cut up the night’s meal.

They did catch a lot more machine gun fire in those orange overalls, but it was only half hearted after Turbine Propaganda (Middle East) Inc. dropped leaflets telling the Afghans to avoid them because they had the plague and.......

.... perhaps one of the numerous poxes for which, Bill Gates and Jeffrey Epstein had developed a range of .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Max's first note was "dressed up like a King's Cross tart...." and said.....

.... that "The Prez has foregone his stinky Sharia compliant Afghan warlord clothes to try to look the sartorial spit of Albo on a cuntry junket (Known in Cantberra as a CJ, and when that photo op is in Alice Springs it is called an ArSendCJ).

They subsequently ran the below photo with a byline that said "From Warlord to Wanka", then ......

The file photo from a normal Toke Council Meeting that was used above the byline. That's the Shire Prez down front .... but still with RMW boots, belt and moleskins worn out of shot. (The Prez also has a thank you note from Twiggy and his missus expressing appreciation for buying so much RMW clobber).

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Yopu couldn't ......

..... get his band going, as once he announced the full band name as Yopuyindi from Quirindi, he received an injunction from Yothu Yindi and an accusation of cultural misappropriation.

The fact that the members of Yopuyindi were a mix of South Africans & Irish (typical majority WA bloodlines), and sang little ditties such as Irish Jigs + Afrikaans Supremacy Songs (ASSs), appeared to make no difference, so when the matter went before the Tocumwal Sharia Court it was found to be ......

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......a shoe tapping, sand groping, toe kicking, eye gouging "influencer" it was best to keep away from if you knew what was good for you.

 

Cappy hadn't read the signs..............

.... because he always assumed the honourable best of people & their motives, however he had obviously never been subjected to the OT Influencer's coven that was .....

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......origins as an Italian shoemaker who had .......

..... been the brother of that great jockey, Willie "The Shoe" Shoemaker, hence why when Mavis and Onesie had their singular liaison that earnt OEHOR his name, Mavis was heard to yell "Ride 'em Cowboy" and "Go, you good thing".

OT had built a substantial business (6 times he has won the "WA Business of the Year" award) from meagre beginnings in the Southern Cross Cobbler's Emporium, and as a result he .....

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The problem was the intense debates on the premium site "RECFLYN+" where posters started to ask how to get these rules changed, or at least they asked that for the first four posts until someone posted that people who flew nose wheels were girls and everyone should use the barely controllable system from the 1920s, which quickly switched to what a XXXX OT was "and he uses AI" and went on .......

...... and on ..... and on ..... and on ..... about OT's issues, and then disclosed his ......

20 minutes ago, onetrack said:

without anything ever coming.......

..... although some AUF members did, when they saw the designs.

20 minutes ago, onetrack said:

However, as soon as Turbo visited the TID, he was immediately recognised as a brilliant ideas man, and highly capable of starting up his own innovation office in the TID, and putting out fabulous videos of futuristic flying machines, which of course, would simply stay forever on the screens of aviation daydreamers, without anything ever coming........

.... to fruition, because Turbo, the brilliant & glorious Musk-like free thinking maverick, had ignored convention in his designs and had gone for Speed, Speed, Speed and more Speed.

This was enabled by the wonderful (but still rattley) Rotax 916iS/c, which could be cranked up to 210 hp by substituting a "Turbo 12" Turbocharger" (It's not really 12", but Turbo just named it after himself) and 200 knots VNE + Citation stall speeds, were a doddle.

"Now all it will take is a little rule change" commented Turbo on each of the receipts, as the kit orders flooded in.

The aircraft soon became known as the ......

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... dyslexic .......

Crappy notices, as one would expect with someone of such wealth and eminence, that Turbo must be using a very sophisticated AI spell checker/story writer, because the algorithm has automatically made the connection between the compound political adjective "a dickhead", and the above-quoted descriptive verbal-pronoun medical term.

14 hours ago, bull said:

after believing that the AUF still existed posted about the extinct and defunked AUF rip... now this was a major oversight as it was the RAA [avref] that ordered the earbones! The shockwave this news caused the flying community was felt as far away as.......

..... even South Australia, and to address the issue, Turbine Engraving & Key Copying P/L in Rundle Mall were given the job of altering the earbone engravings from AUF to RAA, and .......

53 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......EarBones (c).

She got away with it because no one looks at earrings these days.

The AUF, thinking they represented propellors [avref], bought 10,700 pairs, a pair for each Member and a pair for each of the staff.

It was only at the AGM, that Albo, who wasn't a member so didn't have a pair, said "......

 

 

..... Can I have a pair if I reduce all AUF member's electricity bills by $275?".

When they heard this, the dolphins became even more jealous of the dugongs than they already were, until they realised that .....

.... have coffee and dugong shaped biscuits in the mezzanine coffee & souvenir shop located above the Guts Sorting Floor.

The most popular souvenir was very hard to remove from the fair dinkum dugongs, so Turbinia had counterfeit versions made in a sweatshop in China and she called them .....

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo and Cappy and Onetrack went down to the local  sports store and bought some spearfishing gear, drove the ute to Monkey Mia, and had winched out 132 dead Dugongs by the end of the first day.

By about the third day tourists stopped coming because of the smell and ......

..... that was just Turbo.

The Dugong cull was so successful that Turbine Butchers were selling the meat as halal & kosher (both at the same time) pork, changing Use-By date and making a killing.

This was soon copied by our US Ultralight cousins and within a couple of days the manatee population was decimated, as belt-fed machine guns are so much more efficient (based on the count of dead animals per sighting, not number of cartridges fired).

So the eating of ze WEF bugs was delayed for a decade, because manatee & dugong meat was stockpiled strategically in .....

.... fox and dingo like, to kill every dugong they could get their hands on, skin them then hang the skins & scalps on every fence or swim-between-the-flags sign in FNQ and The Territory, plus make CUintheNT tshirts out of dugong pelts.

These initiatives .....

3 minutes ago, bull said:

Can any NES readers tell me the chapter that Mrs Doutfire the sexiest copper in the west had transitioned ????

dear bull. please pay attention in future. Somewhere around page 673, doubtfire used numerous pronouns reflecting several genders and signified a preference for standing while ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........not happy with these unflattering tattoos, blown up even more when viewed up through the water, and although they couldn't speak or understand written language, they knew what fat was; most of them dieting on sea cabbage for most of their lives trying to get down to mermaid size. 

They could see the turtles given batter feed and treatment so they herded and waited.............

..... in order to smash the thousands of turtle eggs that were about to be exported.

The dugong leader issued green headbands, Ping pledged personal support and funding, the leader demanded that all turtle hostages be terminated, and yelled the secret code to commence the attack, so the numerous dugong storm troopers ......

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Soon the tribes were driving round and round the Community in Lamborghinis.....

..... and covered in dugong & turtle tattoos, done with white ink.

The dugongs were .....

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......drawing straws to see who woul be going into the waters but....

.... drawing straws is a pain when you have sand in your crayons, and there are turtle eggs to be collected and whisked off to be sold in Asia.

Harvesting turtle eggs is restricted to native groups, same like bashing koalas and dugongs on the head with a shifter, but Turbine Exclusive Native Title and Flagon Corporation had been set up to .....

.... a tired old hand fed Monkey Mia dolphin that was .....

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"Well what do you expect" replied the Minister for The Environment. You wanted us to clean up the bloom, and we've cleaned up the bloom!"

This wasn't getting them anywhere so a delegation was sent to the Mekong Delta pair for by the fishermen. The first delegation had to be cancelled after the Vietnam Post wrote a story with photos ......

.... and outlined how the NZEPA had described the Taupo spraying operation as "Safe and Effective", plus that excess deaths amongst the sprayers, sprayees and future generations of humans & whitebait would be negligible, ...... but that as a complete coincidence, all government employees plus those of Turbine Cropmaster, their children and asigns would be exempt from prosecution. Joe Biden even granted them all a Presidential Pardon, albeit that this was dated January 22nd, with the 22 crossed out and a 12 written over it in crayon.

The Vietnamese were rivid and their spokesman, Han On Kok, said "This is total bulls.......