Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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.... asking for their money back. That is never good when you are a One-Man-Show and when the takings have already been spent on .....
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NEWS FLASH - 1root uses the word "opprobium" twice in one NES post. What a w ................ inner
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.... that the AUF Morse Code Sub-Committee (the MCSC) had put a motion on this to the Board, a very slick & professional proposal had been received from Turbine Blechley Park Code Breakers and Makers Inc, which was basically to simplify the Morse Code by removing all of the dashes as a money and time saving initiative ("The dashes are a pain in the bum, and very expensive, plus are harder to carry around, as they are many times bigger than the dots" said Turbo in a promotional video), and it was proposed to rename it the .......
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.... climb out of the Panamanian Long-Drop (cleaning the sides of a long-drop is hard yacka) and he progressed up to the cleaning of basins, urinals and those endless towels which in Panama are changed, whether they need it or not, every 5 years, so the same duration as a Corvette fan belt. But Kev schemed & back-bit hard, so he was soon ...... An Endless Towel in a dunny & on its way around for the 45th time.
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.... was one where he received a promotion almost immediately as the Panama Psych Check showed that Kev qualified for all of the smarmy jobs in CASA and he exceeded the number of personality quirks that CASA regard as desirable to get to the top, let alone do Ramp Checks. So, being at the top of the management potential tree in CASA qualified him to be a dunny cleaner in the Panamanian system, but he soon worked his way up the ladder to ......
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..... but that rego number was fake in order to save the Panamanian landing fees, which were 2 kgs of street-ready cocaine, 5 shots of tequila and a chugalug of a 6 pack of Balboa beer (Note the rule in Panama is "2 minutes bottle to throttle"), and a ........
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STOP PRESS - Eean has seen fit to nominate Turbo, oneroot, bull and Cappy for an AO, each, next January, for services to the NES. Thank you Eean. It is well deserved.
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Kev is also a bit of a dick.
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Few scholars, nor ordinary people, know that Chris's real name was Christopher Columbus de la Turbine, but after receiving high quality tax advice he dropped the de la Turbine bit so that he could fly (avref) under the radar and create a dynasty, same like the Rothchilds (a sub-group of the Turbines) & the lesser Vanderbilts, where the "t" was left in as a fitting tribute to their Turbine family history and connections. (As astute NESers will already know the Vanderbilts were originally the factory build-assist operation for Van's aircraft, where the RV8 is their favourite, and they bilt heaps).
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..... I think that I will run for the Presidency in Panama, as I am a winner and the Panamanian people deserve to have someone of my standing and stature to love them like a daddy, and to look after their interests. ......................................... and I'll release all of the prisoners + pay them top dollar (Balboas) to be my Private Army/Pretorian Guard." The prisoners all cheered, killed a few guards just to show a sign of defiance and they rushed to mill around KRuddy and declare him to be their ...... Below we see Kevvy, about to address the prisoners and promise them the world, if they will protect him. He is much more badarse than Nickelarse Mad-Durex from Venezuela, and once Nickelarse is done for, Kev plans to re-merge Panama and Venice-whaler then squeeze & smash Colombia to join them. Kev's aim is to be adored by squillions and to be recognised as the Christopher Columbus/Fred (Vasco Núñez de) Balboa of his age.
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And about 2 or 3 decades before Pen graduated from car design to become a magician.
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...... a dance that was common in Panamanian jails, which by direct implication meant that the dancers were also common (not to mention that Kevi also danced with a flower behind his left ear) and was therefore available (if you took him to dinner, which comprised at least 2 pieces of mouldy bread and half a glass of stagnant water). But the prisoners suspected what was living in Kev's dreads (in the 2nd world it is well known that you are never more than 4 ft from a rat) so discounting Kevi himself, that meant that .......
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Cappy just checked his records, and it is clear that Cappy's Company built those 2 walls that are so clearly visible in Turbo's photo. It was Turb's Company that built the wall in the foreground at lower right. Cappy's artistic flare can also be seen, as it was he that drew the camel, after a lengthy debate about whether it should be 1 hump or 2. Below also shows the Standard Vanguard that Cappy used for the profile for the car that he drew. However, he could not afford the white paint to show the windows. (Cappy and Turbo (T & C Motor Corp) had, and still have, the dealership for these cars up the Khyber, so it was a useful promo initiative, and they still sell a few hundred each year).
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..... he looked a bit like Fabio in dreadlocks, but older, uglier, and with the typical Rudd ego. "I want my f'n government jet and I want it now" Kev kept demanding, as the prisoners in Complejo Penitenciario Nueva Esperanza took the micky and thought "What an entitled dickhead (but in Spanish)", and suggested that he ...... Kev in the exercise yard at the nick, calling for his Aussie Govt 737. Kev's cell was 3rd window from the left, with 200 other blokes, at the Complejo Penitenciario Nueva Esperanza
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..... Things were going great as he ripped through the Gulf of America, dodged a few Honduran pirates, and spent time with a few ladies in Bocas del Toro (Terri was going to fly in to meet him there, but she was in Paris with Cappy at the time) ........ until he reached the Panama Canal, where the Canal Authority insisted on examining his ......
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..... alligator Alcatraz, where the alligators were very well informed & were all getting ready to stick their fingers down their throats in case he escaped & they accidentally chomped on one of his bits, but that ......
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Cappy would love to hear what our thousands of NESers (and from Bernie too) think about his recent paint job on his digs, as shown behind Kev and Terri in the above photo. The house was previously 100% that depressing Vicmanistan dark black basalt that they have down Lorne way, and it was dragging me down (so I can see why everyone is so morbid and moribund every day down in Mexico). I therefore decided to paint it white, which went over a treat at the party and at the subsequent knees-up. Not bad, eh? PS - Any member of Wreck Flying, or whatever it is called now, is welcome to call in on any weekend for a few ales & a chat.
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..... and the only way that he could think of the de-quaver himself was to place himself voluntarily in a situation where he would be bored to tears, so he went and spoke to Kevin Rudd (although Cappy has always considered Therese to be hot, so that distracted him a little) but Kevy won out, and Crappy was saved, though bored s#%&less. However, it wasn't until Tony "burqa" Bourke came over to do his best Les Patterson impersonation, that ...... Kev and Therese at a BBQ at Cappy's joint in late 2020 ("F the masks" Cappy had said on the invite). See what I mean about Terri, which is the insider name that she asked Cappy to call her. Tony B while 3 sheets to the wind (avref)
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...... inguinal canal, but be careful that you do not .....
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..... worship her new non-gay "Dear Leader" by .......
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..... tried to get rid of that persistent & pesky Platyhelminthes Cestoda. The assembled staff cut him some slack, as the video of his 100% coordinated Drifter flight had gone viral within the Q system to silent applause from all flight-crew, none of whom had previously seen such crossed-controls (CC) skills demonstrated so effectively, and also ....... with Cappy slated & destined to eventually take the position previously held by the Leprechaun, the Q staff, who are normally as loyal to management as an ABC Newsroom, all smiled and applauded like a Kim Jong Un birthday bash. So, while the crowd were in a KJU subservience mood, Cappy thought that he would purge a few of them, just to show who is boss, and that he would not just be another gay Irish garden gnome. "Bring out the cannon" he instructed as he prepared to strap a particularly good-looking 1st Officer (Crappy doesn't like such competition) to the muzzle and ........
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Explanatory Note - Things being a little tough at Quaintarse at the moment, they knew from the above that by make this offer, that Cappy could fulfil 2 roles for the price of one. Chief Pilot Chief Sky Pilot.
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..... best coordinated behavior. Some cruel Wreck Flyers have previously stated that Crappy is a bit unco, and that his left hand doesn't know what his right hand is doing (NB - that can be enjoyable after long days fighting tribals), however that saying arose up the Khyber, because Cappy's left hand was waving at Turbo in a friendly "come hither' motion, while at the same time Cappy's right hand, and eye, shot him in the clacker. But worry not dear Readers as the flight in the Drifter went spectacularly well, being crossed controls all the way, and the video of that flight was the main reason why the letter came from Qantas offering Cappy the Chief Pilot's caper, and why ............
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..... has always lived his life by his strong belief in the principals of monogamy, ................ and as a member of the Clergy (his 2 abiding beliefs being in the virtues of the Church and in the essential merits of Weight and Balance limits). So Cappy rejected the opportunity even though he knew that he could outperform Jonah, and excused himself, saying that he ....... For those of you that are concerned for Cappy's welfare due to his strict adherence to monogamy, please be assured that while this meant that he missed out on a few, like bull, Onesie and Turbs, Cappy has got more than his fair share too.
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..... giant clams between their knees, yet here they all were at a Levon Helm farewell concert love-in, full on bon ami (not the scouring powder chemical cleaner) and a few of those strong Caribbean types couldn't decide whether to take Cappy home or Jonah, as their similar physiques often led the lasses astray, so instead of making a decision, they simply ...... The similarities between Crappy and Jonah are striking.
