The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

................four Apostles which .................

[Captain]

.... live between Golgotha and Gethsemane, just west of Hobart, and are preaching up a storm ..... 

[turboplanner]

........which just reminded Turbo that in his teenage years he was part of a Young Farmers contingent  who went to Tasmania to help out in an apple blight. They couldn't afford to fly from Melbourne so they had to walk round the beaches. It was one stormy night and they were camped in some sheltering trees. Noticing a movement and thinking it may be a Tasmanian Tiger, Turbo walked into the bush. There in a clearing was a young girl just about to get into a Bluehead Drifter [avref].

You don't often get to see two good things at the same time  in Tasmania and Turbo enthusiastically introduced himself. Her name was Cathy Opossunoquonuske.............................. 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Her name was Cathy Opossunoquonuske.............................. 

..... and Turbo fell in lust with her beautiful big round eyes and her bushy .....

[turboplanner]

............tail. Everyone in the room froze, except the Tasmanians because............

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............tail. Everyone in the room froze, except the Tasmanians because............

..... they know, full well, that Opossunoquonuskes are like Greek Sirens, however instead of luring sailors, they cause the blood within a FlyBoy to all rush to his .....

Edited Thursday at 05:48 AM by Captain

[Captain]

14 hours ago, Captain said:

..... they know, full well, that Opossunoquonuskes are like Greek Sirens, however instead of luring sailors, they cause the blood within a FlyBoy to all rush to his .....

Crappy apologizes to the numerous Greek scholars who are part of the NES as he should have spelt "Sirens" as Σειρῆνες (Seirênes). I will try to do better next time. (He also apologizes to the Greek Fruitshop owners and the ex-Melbourne Grik Taxi drivers, for the same thing).

[turboplanner]

12 minutes ago, Captain said:

Crappy apologizes to the numerous Greek scholars who are part of the NES as he should have spelt "Sirens" as Σειρῆνες (Seirênes). I will try to do better next time. (He also apologizes to the Greek Fruitshop owners and the ex-Melbourne Grik Taxi drivers, for the same thing).

Centre of Gavity (CG). After a few seconds his Moment (M) has changed so much that he is ins Cantilever (CV).

 

It was Charles Opossunoquonuskes who had 12 daughters (there was no electric light in Tasmania in the 1960s) who, in a desperate race against time found the solution - Thylacine Oil, and saved his daughters from a fate worse than death. (That was his opinion of course; not necessarily that of the daughters).  Charley Turbine, great uncle of Turbo was a logger who worked in the giant forests of the time, and Turbo remembers the story as an eight year old, so he was never quite told the key parts of how the oil was administered.  Charlie married Francine Opossunoquonuskes and three weeks later they had a little boy, so it certainly sped up the gestation period, and would have......................

[Captain]

Dear NES Fans, Readers and to our hundreds of contributors.

 

Cappy takes his editorial duties and responsibilities within the NES very (very) seriously and as such he is confused and dismayed by Turbo's use of the term Opossunoquonuskes and the fact that Chuck and his daughters were registered and christened under that name.

 

Cappy's confusion arises because he worked closely with the Powhatan Confederacy while he was a missionary (he specialised in teaching how to use the position most effectively), fur trader and scout.

 

What Cappy knows, 1st hand, is that “Opossunoquonuskes” is not a general word to be chucked around willy nilly in some 2nd rate section of the Humorous area of Wreck Frying, as it is the name of a specific Indigenous woman who was a friend and confident of Cappy's and a high‑ranking leader in the Powhatan Confederacy during the Jamestown era. She ruled as a Weroansqua (female chief/commander) and English colonists called her the “Queen of Appamattuck.”

She interacted with Captain John Smith and Christopher Newport in 1607.

 

So how did an offshoot of this magnificent and famous woman end up in the back blocks of Taswegia, or all places?

 

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

so it certainly sped up the gestation period, and would have.......

.... been a boon (not Daniel) in the highly competitive back-blox of the southern isle, which had been named by Van Deamon (a brother to Van Morrison), as the oil sped the little kiddie through puberty by the time he was 6, and he was .....

[turboplanner]

.....married to Francine Opossunoquonuskes when he was nine. Wanting to be associated with that famous female Indian Warrior,

Charles changed his surname to Turbine - Opossunoquonuskes, effectively driving the teachers of Tasmania nuts for generations.

 

Just imagine the teacher saying "PUT that pencil down Turbine - Opossunoquonuskes!!!! three or four times a day.

 

Tasmanians are eccentric, it has to be said.  Let's face it, how many people would buy a Jabiru Kit, take 17 years to build it, then decide not to fly it because the paint would fade.

 

Charles was no exception and when he grew up he sported a magnificent Indian headdress. One day he was introduced to a Mainlander, Cappy. Never one for diplomacy, Cappy said "They're not American Eagle feathers, there's acream Legbar, there's a Leghorne, there's a Wyandotte, there's a Cornish Cross Rock and that one's a Red Broiler.

 

Charles Opossunoquonuskes reached for his tomahawk.............

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"They're not American Eagle feathers, there's acream Legbar, there's a Leghorne, there's a Wyandotte, there's a Cornish Cross Rock and that one's a Red Broiler.

 

Charles Opossunoquonuskes reached for his tomahawk.......

... but Cappy decided to settle him down a bit with a joke (that may have been ventilated in the NES previously ... so apologies in advance to our 100's of fans if that be so).

 

"G'day CO" said Cappy "Do you know the definitions of the terms "erotic" and "kinky"?"

 

"No Crappster" he replied.

 

"Well" said Cappy. "If you tickle it with 1 feather that is erotic. ...................... But if you tickle it with the whole chook, that is considered to be kinky."

 

Charles grinned but tried not to show appreciation for the humorous story, however Francine's eyes lit up as she looked alternatively & longingly at Cappy, and then at a prime pullet in the corner of the ......

[CT9000]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....married to Francine Opossunoquonuskes when he was nine. Wanting to be associated with that famous female Indian Warrior,

Charles changed his surname to Turbine - Opossunoquonuskes, effectively driving the teachers of Tasmania nuts for generations.

 

Just imagine the teacher saying "PUT that pencil down Turbine - Opossunoquonuskes!!!! three or four times a day.

 

Tasmanians are eccentric, it has to be said.  Let's face it, how many people would buy a Jabiru Kit, take 17 years to build it, then decide not to fly it because the paint would fade.

 

Charles was no exception and when he grew up he sported a magnificent Indian headdress. One day he was introduced to a Mainlander, Cappy. Never one for diplomacy, Cappy said "They're not American Eagle feathers, there's acream Legbar, there's a Leghorne, there's a Wyandotte, there's a Cornish Cross Rock and that one's a Red Broiler.

 

Charles Opossunoquonuskes reached for his tomahawk.............

.....long overdue av ref. however that high T tail thingy by Piper is more commonly known as a Traumahawk.....

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.....long overdue av ref. however that high T tail thingy by Piper is more commonly known as a Traumahawk.....

... And so the CT jumps the que of posts, but that is OK as that is what CT's do when they are from DG.

 

..... as Traumahawks have decimated the Opossunoquonuskes over the years, to the point where they changed their name to Opossumoquonuskes, and the issues went away ...... until the rougher members of Tazzy society started to hunt them with spotlights (manchasterref) and ......

[turboplanner]

........even strobes pinched from Jabiruis tied down in the open.

This caused problems for both the Traumahawks and the Tubine-Opossunoquonuskes. 

It was a bit like someone farting in the middle of the final scene of Romeo aand Juliet. No one could  do a thing in case they.....................

 

Edited Saturday at 06:04 AM by turboplanner

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........even strobes pinched from Jabiruis tied down in the open.

This caused problems for both the Traumahawks and the Tubine-Opossunoquonuskes. 

It was a bit like someone farting in the middle of the final scene of Romeo aand Juliet. No one could  do a thing in case they.....................

 

.... followed through from laughing, or .....

[turboplanner]

......splitting their sides watching the 130 cc CT9000 Mk IV trying to take off on grass. Despite all the laws of physics they always made it into the air. You could transport them in a Falcon ute on wide roads. If you were going to a BBQ breakfast it was usually faster to leave it in the Ute, but you couldn't go past the $499.00 kit price and three hour assembly time..........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

and three hour assembly time....

.... , so you could be up and flying before the Romeo and Juliet concert was completed, and an engine test (with prop firmly attached) could be used to control the effects of the phlatulence that was reported in Tubb's earlier post.

 

Romeo would thank you too, as it was Juliet that ......

[Captain]

And speaking of attached props, all stewed-ants please take note.

 

[turboplanner]

......after seeing that horrible image above where that prop ran through Bombay on its tips (NTTIAWWT), mowing down 2000 Indians, joined the Chuck Turbine Aviation Academy which taught Prop Behaviour Lessons I to IIX. Juliet quickly progressed through Theory School in aan effort to ...........

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......after seeing that horrible image above where that prop ran through Bombay on its tips (NTTIAWWT), mowing down 2000 Indians, joined the Chuck Turbine Aviation Academy which taught Prop Behaviour Lessons I to IIX. Juliet quickly progressed through Theory School in aan effort to ...........

.... also keep her acting lessons alive and she wanted to keep seeing Romeo on the side too (and in other positions) so Juliet had 3 projects on the go at the same time (plus she was going thru an experimental relationship period with a nurse from Rome named Aphrodite), so she was often tired yet euphoric, but still keen to learn to fly at the CTAA, and that led to .....

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

aan

The NES apologizes for Turbo's misspelling of Eeeaan's name. Please do not ban him again.

[turboplanner]

......the famous "Wine Glass Episode". Chuck, as we all know was famous for cutting the power in his Aero-Commander, doing a loop, a wingover and an Immelmann and landing in a tree.

 

He insisted his students..................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......the famous "Wine Glass Episode". Chuck, as we all know was famous for cutting the power in his Aero-Commander, doing a loop, a wingover and an Immelmann and landing in a tree.

He insisted his students.....

..... operate with similar precision, but Chuck's Irish heritage became an issue, as he would say "Well you have done pretty well dis lesson and we will land after I count down "one" when we are downwind (which went well), "two" when on base (a little low and slow but OK), and "tree" ...... so the Stewed-ant straight headed over to the rivergums by the Derwent and the rest is ......

 

Cappy noticed that Vicmanistan is to have Free Dental Clinics after the next election, and the premier said that the Turbine Corp has been giving him advice on how to import fully qualified dentists from Nigeria and the Congo. This is good news for all NESers who are contemplating meeting Turbo on his stand at the next Avalon Trade & AirShow, as this is an opportunity for Turbs to, finally, have his gnashers fixed and his breath to be freshened up.

[Captain]

On approach into Chez Cappy at YKKA.

 

Apologies for being heavy footed on the rudder, but I was still getting used to her.

 

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Edited 20 hours ago by Captain