Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... Crappy whipped out his BIC lighter, and as his thumb hit the little roller thingy at the top, Whoopie went one step further, rolled onto one cheek and ......
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.... that was easily addressed, as there was a Labor Party Conference at the joint next door to the Studio, where Jacinta Allen, Penny Wong, Katy Gallagher and Kistina Keneally where all available, and the beauty was, they didn't need costumes ..... although nobody wanted to see them in their cozzies either. The Studio was dumbfounded, the Director was perplexed, but Turbo knew a commercial opportunity when he saw one and he quickly identified that .....
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..... in the presence of greatness, and the associated extreme animal magnetism, so they ....
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.... prepare for his Monster-from-the-Black-Lagoon-scenes. Many female humans found Turdy strangely attractive in his Monster suit, and as they stared in thru his gills they could almost sense the possibility of there being a personality and empathy, & they felt his strange clammyness, so that they knew that they had been ....
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The Smolnek pussy is up the top there on the right.
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.... and it has been a thing of movie making tradition, and legend, that key grips and lead actresses (with the occasional lead bloke) so often lose their ..... Important note for concerned NESers ..... The Smolnek pussy is OK after being talked down from the highest Sequoia, and being stroked inappropriately.
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..... and Crappy apologizes for he dear best mate again, as while our thousands of NESers will be interested to know, but as only I know from being there, Tubb is a little delirious again from the punishment that he received from the KGB in 2005, where Vladimir himself gave Tubb a flogging with a barbed wire Teddy behind the Iron Curtain, in a situation that has since been borrowed for the recent Jason Bourne doco, where Turbs is the speech coach, the stunt driver and the choreographer for the .......
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..... after some research, we now know that one of the chicks is going steady with bull, while the other still sunbathes on that beach in the razz, even through she is in her 80's. As for the Aerochute pilots, one is running for an AUF Board position this year, so that should make things interesting, as a bit more Derring Do at that level in the AUF can only .....
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..... "Things to do in Melbourne that require a touch of Derring Do" and after the mentions about "Walk in the main street after 5 pm", "Visit the overloaded Machete Bins", "Hang around Carlton and film a gangland shooting" or "Have dinner with Mick Gatto by donating $20,000 to charity", he spotted an article about the Design Criteria that had been used for the construction of the Westgate Bridge. Once he saw reference to the fact that "A C-130 Herc could fit easily", that steel trap, yet quirky, mind of his started firing and this made the Challenger decision seem both logical & delicious (and even tingly wingly in the nether regions), so he .....
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.... live another day by using what he had learnt on the couch from being a dedicated fan of both Theo Kojak and Frank Columbo. (In true commercial form, he also had a job-lot of 5000 T-shirts made that said "I survived Penny Wong" on the front and "Ray-Bans save eyes from xe5b1an attacks" on the obverse). Those 2 detective types established themselves deep within Turbo's persona such that his bullet head, Grik look, trench coat and forgetfulness became features of the Australian Aviation Scene, where even today every time he makes a contribution on the more serious forums (phora in Grik) inside Wreck Frying, the ...... What a combination
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....., apart from his well-recognized pugilistic victories, behind the dunny down on the wharves, over Tom Domican and Tony Mokbel, our best mate Turbo is actually a lover not a fighter, and Penny would not have stood a chance once he turned on his turbocharged charms, and flashed his ......
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...... TKO (Trip by Kath, Oh). Then, ever magnanimous in victory, Turbo said "I was lucky that it was just Albo, and not Ping and the mean girls, as .....
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That also looks a lot like Turbo after he was pushed into the fence at Warrnambool following being sandwiched between Johnny Stewart & Howard Revell.
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..... Leader of our Cuntry, who works very hard for the benefits of all Aussies, as he doubles, like Scott Morrison did, as the head of CASA and as a technical advisor to the AUF, plus the ....... Crappy expects to be locked up for posting the below photo of our fearless leader (and I don't mean Eeen) ....... but at least I have removed the bikini.
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..... as were Turbo's cameras in the lady's dunnies. However, all video and still shots were always completely under-exposed, because the cameras had automatically set themselves based on the bright white light that was emanating from Turbo's legs. There was also an issue with this CIA, which turned out to be money saving shared offices of the well-known FB meme workshops of the Cats In Aprons group & the Aussie subgroup of the Galapagos based Caffeinated Iguana Alliance. Nobody noticed these groups because on the outskirts of Canberra, everyone is ......
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Because they will hump your leg in true Turbine fashion.
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.... was sitting down in the park and having a mass latte break. This, dear readers, was probably as you suspected, because Tubb's lions were not actually "girded", they were "girdled" .......... in pink tutus, and to make matters worse Tubb had also girdled his loins in a set of Warrick Capper shorts which were even a couple of sizes smaller than the Wizz used to wear, and if you looked carefully as he took his 3 minutes to get out of the 'Vette, groaning like my grandpa used to do, you could see the edge of the scar on his perineum ... see photo below. But the protesters didn't really care, as after their refreshments they thanked Turbo for the lovely intermission, picked up their Palestinian and Gay Rights flags and ......... Tink's lions looked a bit like this, but more fierce-erer. A bit like this ........ but extracting yourself from a Corvette is more revealing.
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Or where Crappy is at the moment, we refer to it as “glace noire”, which sounds so much nicer and unconfrontational. Mind you, you can call someone a "deadset XXXX" in French and it sounds deadset angelic.
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... thought about it for a second then looked at the below factual and peer reviewed photo, so he .....
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... were all bored lesb1an5 and were copying the Minisatans and protesting about ICE. "geez lousie" said bull using his bull-horn (but without the punctilliation marks) "don't be a bunch of wankettes, as it is no use protesting ice down here in vicmanistan or taztarctica, as ice is just a fact of life for 9 months of the year .... and dare i mention the scourge of all bike riders, being "black ice", for fear of being labelled a racist about frozen adam's ale or agua." The protesters looked bull up & down, then Moses, and finally at Crappy, and a few of them considered the possibility of jumping back over the fence, but then thought better of it and .......
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..... he was not certain that being Moses Henriques like, is high enough up the divinity totem pole. "Geez" he said "Being just pure, old, honest & innocent Turbo is higher up, pole-wise, than someone who just plays for NSW and the Sydney Sixers." "In fact' he added "Now that I can catch bullets with my teeth, instead of my freckle, by using my inate divinity skills, I might duck up to DG with BULLET and the C^*T for a bit of bunny busting and whilst there I shall verily ducketh (note his natural divinity type talk) into the local from whence cometh the ......
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... east and praying to whatever God he happened to be favoring at the time. Crappy finds it interesting that because his great mate is the nearest living thing that he knows to divinity, that Turbo seems to float between being Dali Lama-like, to ....... Turbo's favourite T-Shirt. Tubb has bought a full set of these, in case he gets the callup to be the next DL.
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.....tally to unsafe sh1tty aircraft that eventually CWT'd, with pilots & aircraft never to be seen again, or whether the TI pilots just headed straight over to the strip at Sims Metals in order to maximize their return, before buggering off to hide out in some WA sand agglomeration mining operation, nobody knew, but then .....
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.... 4 or 5 people near the downpipe on the shelter shed actually did a spoonful, while some others would have certainly filled a scruple measuring cup, and those people needed a cleanup with a fire hose, not just a change of under garment. It is little known that after Turbs completed his driving duties across all Aussie speedway venues, including kicking Al Unser's a$s, he wanted to stay involved in the Speedway scene to continue to show his support for the sport ................... but more-so to try for an eventual AO for Services to Speedway in case he missed out on the AO for Services to the Trucking Industry. So, Turbo became a mechanic specialising in Speedway bikes and that locked on throttle in the video was one of his earliest attempts to influence a race because he felt that the rider wasn't trying hard enough. As Turbo has so often said in press interviews "If the throttle stays full on for longest, you simply MUST win the race". It is, however, just possible that the rider (and the crowd) might have disagreed, but in true Turbine family tradition, Turbo said ".....
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.... whatever is needed to make it look bigger. Turbo has been full waxing for many years in the hope of achieving that result, but now realised that a comprehensive Back, Crack and Sack wax, + a quick snip to be Inscribed might do the trick, and make him look more desirable on the Turbine Media's Senior's version of Tinder, called Re-Kindle, so he ......
