Captain

..... a fatter and shorter cross between the Twigster and Alan Bond, so in WA society circles (avref), OT is in high (avref) .......

Same height too, so OT has to be careful not to get dragged into dwarf throwing contests at the pub.

OT's face looks like this, but with a nose and lips in the middle. And well-worn lips like these too.

.... age old question of whether the carpet matches the drapes, or the claims that Grecian 2000 is unnoticeable after application, or that modern rugs are undetectable when you are obviously wearing a hair-hat ... (and besides, they blow off when you are cruising with an impressionable young hottie in the 'Vette). Crappy (and I suspect bull too) lived on peroxide when a teenager and he was part of the surfing culture with Midge Farrelly (who has been deceased for 10 years), Little Patti and Col Joy. We know from several photos on the dark web that OT is a generation younger and that reflects the healthy WA lifestyle, his falsification of his birth certificate, and his ..... Turbo has weathered considerably better than has little Patty. ...., occasionally involuntarily, as the "dot-of-shame" so often signifies (and why Tubb is so often seen wearing yellow bermuda shorts) ..... or whenever his peepers spot the white of the porcelain. (Cappy has retained a Harvard Research Team in order to discover why the urge increases when one merely thinks of Dalton, and progresses to the need for a severe clench the closer that one gets to the bowl .... which is one of the most misunderstood forces of nature & physics). All those NESers over 65 please look away and do not peep at the following photo.

.... they even have a discounted membership for Rangas (Harry will be welcomed with open arms once he gives Meg the flick), but with the ...... Crappy notes that Tubb has been up for his 5.30 am pee again, which is an improvement over his previous 4 am calls of nature. Where your Skipper is at the moment it is 9.30 am so he is off for a coffee and a piece of cake at his local boulangerie.

.... Labotomy recipients and assorted .....

..gh ...

..... a big splash in the ....

... wanted to ....

Breaking news and a breakthru for the Skippy trucking industry, as a simple AI investigation has exposed that Turdy has done this before and he therefore has form. As it turned out, this is the reason why he had so many chassis' cracks in the Freightliners .... because he also dressed those chassis up in a Drizabone and Akubra ......... and that (plus the minor fact that the HT metal wasn't thick enough and had come from China as a cheap job-lot from BYD XXX Tensile C-Section Steels ...... , with the word "Low" crossed out with a Texta) had caused the ruckus. (Please note that in the trucking industry, C-section is not an abbreviation for Cesarian, although it was almost akin to that after they finished reaming Turdy out, and almost tore him a new one).

...... and said "Does my bum look big in this Chamberlain seat?" To which he replied "Compared to what, ..... the Bismark?" This made Sam look at the engine starter guy with those killer eyes that got her the $15,000 a week GG's gig, and she spoke quietly from the corner of her mouth, thru clenched teeth (and cheeks) when she said ".....

So how can any lesser Aussie patriot (missileAvRef) not accept what Tubb has said in the above, doff his lid, and pay his respects to the old-fella past and present. Crappy accepts Tubb's polite disagreement and he apologizes accordingly. Now ........... where the hell do we have to go back to, in order to continue the riveting tome that is the Never Ending Story (NES)?

The cultural identity is fascinating, as is the attempt to disguise a NASCAR v8 as an Aussue Icon (and perhaps even a P76), but to shroud a high-power engine in a Drizabone and Akubra, while very Aussie, and approved by the Twigster, is asking for engine reliability issues.

.... worry about being sanctioned for being naughty, when everyone knows that AUF members are entitled to be let go from any & all charges, or they will squeal like a stuck pig. It is little known that CASA has experienced the highest number of male employees transitioning to be ladies in pink tutus, and those numbers, while close in quantity to those in the Ministry of Prime Minister and Cabinet, meant that former workmates were intermarrying, and the GG, Sam Mostyn, had chosen to go the other way, so that after the nip and tuck decided to use the male name of Sam, and to ......

... then they lealised that the "Heavenry Frower of Chungking China patched Mongrels MC" is controlled by a group of Chinese nationalized Somalian fraudsters who previously ran all of the scams in Minnesota and California, so the simirarity of the words "Motor Bike" and "Lecleational Airclaft" was a simple mistake to make, and once that was publicized within Wreck Frying (or whatever it is called now), and in the editorial section of the widely selling "AOPA Monthlies" the AUF camp ripped into CASA with a renewed .....

..... objected the most when Turbo "Did a Trump" and also whacked a "back-seat Tarif (BST)" on the use of such seats for conducting their business. This meant that throughout Mextoria, a "Quickie" increased in price by adding the $50 parking fee + the BST (which is a compounding cost, I might add), and this caused quite a ruckus, plus it also put a severe dent in bull's prawning take-home. The protests were ......

.... Turbo became greedy and was unhappy with what he described as "The paltry 80% cut" (what a T-Prick?), so he .....

NESers should note that the full name of this massively successful enterprise is Turbine Protection Rackets Inc Concentrated Kinetics (T-PRICK) .... because force is usually needed, and Concentrated Kinetics (baseball bats) often gets the job done. Turbo also loves that full name as it reflects his own personality too.

..... Turbine Chinese Buses (TCB) were doing OK too. But it was Turbine Protection Rackets Inc that was kicking the biggest goals, because .....

... the cute little 14 yo pseudo criminals, who paid the fee + a tip, as they had recently taken the Audi up to Sydney to do some drive-bys and firebombings for the Alameddines who have been under a bit of takeover pressure lately. However, the Turbine Crime Family and the Turbochero Angels had made the Alameddines an amalgamation offer, and given that Turdy is well known as the Al Capone of Melbournistan, now that Chopper is gone, this offer was accepted and all JV meetings were agreed to be held at a picnic table on the banks of the Murray at Corowa, where ......

..... knew that they were right ... to continue their charge, so they .....

..... They turned and one said, "I wish we hadn't surrendered our biggest machetes to the Machete Bins" and the little one on the right replied, "Geez I hope that these bulls don't rip me a new one like they did to the bull-fighter in Spain last week." "But hey" said the older 14 yo "Are these bulls left hand or right-hand corkscrews?", and they all .......

Our bull is heartless in his quests, as he even took advantage of the volunteer lovely lady (a VLL) in the Coffee Shop while he was seriously ill in hospital (but obviously still quite capable "down there").

... the trendy black 5-oclock shadow, & backed them up so that their goolies were pressing against the electric fence and he asked them "Which foreign crime gang do you dickheads belong to?". They all looked at him with blank, some say quizzical, looks on their faces so the bull then translated the question into "؟مع أي منظمة إجرامية أنتم مرتبطون", "Koox dambiyeed kee baad la shaqaysaan?", "ا کدام سازمان جنایی در ارتباط هستید؟" or "你们和哪个犯罪组织有关系". They then replied "No mate, we are not THAT foreign, we are actually a bunch of red headed Scots from Glasgow and this dark swarthy oily 3rd world look is tattooed on so that we fit in with the modern Aussie criminal landscape, where even the most anglo of bikie gangs have been taken over by Lebanese, most of whom look like Hezbollah bomb-chuckers." "Oh, och ey" replied the bull "Sorry about that racial profiling, but yez will need to leave my heifers alone as your burning them is detuning their usual hot desire for me, and I haven't had one for a while, so just like them roman sheilas did, they have gone on strike and I can't get near 'em to do my "bull's duty" (this well known phrase was named after our best NES contributor, bull, after he had made his way thru the ladies of bone and is now radiating out from his quaint colonial cottage in his home town to "do" all of Tazzy). The 14 yo's looked the (bovine) bull square in the eye and replied"...... The fact that Tubb appears to have picked up the NES from Crappy's italics addendum is neither here nor there, nor anywhere else.

This led to a new economic opportunity for the local Aboriginal Fraud Corporation (the AFC) in making the central Qld equivalent of Swiss Alphorns, when they made spiral horn didges and issued them as a compulsory accessory ($550 per toot + GST and Voice-to-Parliament Tax) for all Welcome-to-Cuntry ceremonies. The Longhorns were soon becoming Shorthorns as they were hunted like Rhinos and their horns formed an illicit industry that was bigger than illicit tobacco sales.