The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........brother's name was Robert. His father was one of those who laughed at his own joked and liked to introduce the two boys as Robert the Bruce. You can't blame Bruce after a litetime of sniggers.

Bruce flew a Snedden M7. Not the most attractive Ultralight around, but for people who wanted to get four wheels on the ground, a good choice. Bruce shifted the discussion to his Snedden and just at that moment in walked................

NESers can see how seriously Turbo has taken the race to 1000 pages, as it looks like he will be double posting from here on.

[turboplanner]

Turbo however is wide awake to what goes on when Een starts making pages 8 pages long. He's got an instrument which does that. Not many people know that in a previous life he was a Warden in a South Guyana, prison Colony.

 

....billy, or was that Bobby, or meybe it was Bull the Parwn, (as he liked to be called these days). Never mind..............

[bull]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo however is wide awake to what goes on when Een starts making pages 8 pages long. He's got an instrument which does that. Not many people know that in a previous life he was a Warden in a South Guyana, prison Colony.

 

....billy, or was that Bobby, or meybe it was Bull the Parwn, (as he liked to be called these days). Never mind..............

........the fact that............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

.....the fact that.....

..... the Parwn name is owned and tightly held by Microsoft, Google, Apple, Meta and Eeeaan.

 

i don't care about them details said bull, so they can all go and get stuffed as im gunna use it as my own moniker, my prawns will be sold under the parwyn brand name (so buyers will know that they didnt come from a Vietnamese sxxx farm), and ill also make t shirts to sell at trade shows and at the .....

[turboplanner]

........Jetty where the PT (we don't call them Prawn Trawlers any more because it used to put the chicks off when you told them you were a prawn trawler. They'd block your posts quick.) was tied up. Not many people came to the Jetty at first, but Bull would offer them a raw prawn, and they'd come back the next night until there as a queue there each night at seven. When the nightly troipical storm came,they'd all get wet so he built a wind and rain shelter. They brought their partner, they brought their kids, they brought their neighbour's, all wanting the raw prawn. He had to build an up market shed for their protection, but then coaches of 50 started rolling up He built an ornate restaurant with carved marble Big Prawns around the tropical garden,  the restaurant had big fans on the roof to blow the smell away from the patrons, who loved when Bull dressed up in his red silk suit with the little back hat and greeted them on the wharf. There was a fireworks show at 7 pm each night and then they'd all get their raw prawns and dance the night away. It was a simple formula but ut worked. It got even better when bull..........................

[Captain]

... painted the trawler grey, mounted a fake 50 Mil machine gun and painted PT 53 on the side, then he hired a bloke to play Capt Binghamton and another little twerp to be Ensign Parker in the live theatrical shows that bull used as ....

[turboplanner]

... a prelude. Then, in the style of Universal Studios, he  rigged up a trawler  to replicate being tossed around in a stormy sea, cresting the waves (enhanced by soap suds. Bull himself is the skipper, with that determined look on hid face, like he was about to go into the kitchen to find Beryl at the Bone RSL (but without the breaking cups and plates and the "XXXX XXX u XXXX!!!!). A Coastguard Ship looms up aand the Skipper yells "Stand by to abandon ship!" Bull replies "I wouldn't abandon it there!" to laughter from the huge audience. Hidden pumps pour seawater all over the cabin but Bull looks unfazed, and then..................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

A Coastguard Ship looms up aand the Skipper yells "Stand by to abandon ship!" Bull replies "I wouldn't abandon it there!" to laughter from the huge audience. Hidden pumps pour seawater all over the cabin but Bull looks unfazed, and then.......

.... he had 3 D9s pull apart the backdrop to reveal his masterpiece, based on all of the principals of Dolly World but with the largest and wildest roller coaster in the world, and there amongst the mangroves, bulls parwyn world was introduced to the world.

 

The Aussie public went mad for the no capitals gimmick that bull has been using for years as his own individualistic lifestyle signature.

 

And if that wasn't enough, he revealed his piece-of-resistance, which came from his purchase of all of the no longer needed costumes and merch from Dolly World after Dolly went to the Grande Olde Oppre in the Sky, so out came bull, in front of the rebranded bone rissole can-can review ..... and, dear readers, the crowd, who were already fully pumped up, went berserk when bull sang Jolene in one of Dolly's fanciest wigs, while wearing one of her biggest ...... 

[turboplanner]

........Coats of many colours with parwyns super glued on, and it should be said, giving off the perfume of the coast.

 

As the audience trooped out after the show, they were given a free parwyn each to take home ( the cost +50%) had been added to ticket costs.

 

The audience told their friends about the free parwyns, and the queue was half a mile long the next night.

 

Bull started riding around in a chauffer driven black BYD.

 

A train line had to be built in to the wharf.

 

Bull Knocked the building down and built a 24 story Auditorium, Casino and Hotel. He started wearing spangles.

 

The Hotel Part overhang the river, so people could fish  for Cod. The following day the Hotel was booked out by people fishing while they drank from the Turbine Bars and sat watching the football. There were some complaints from elderly people saying they had been hit by flying cods, and one old boy said he'd been hit in the cods, so notices had to be posted saying be careful with your cods.

 

The Hotel developed a fishy odour, and some people said they wouldn't be back. Bull knocked out six rooms on the eighth floor, hired four crop dusters from Tamworth, painted their aircraft in US Navy colours and advertised an Airshow every night by the Real Roulettes from the Top Gun School at San Diego. He filled the tanks with deodorant from Turbine Airshow Solutions Inc.

The show ended with a "Fly-Through" right through the eighth floor.

 

The next night the train was full nd people were sitting on the roof like they do in Delhi............................  

 

 

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The next night the train was full nd people were sitting on the roof like they do in Delhi........

.... and with his usual outstanding skill, bull developed a way to manage the smells according to taste, so all Indian visitors loved the Delhi flavors & aromas, the FNQ visitors loved the smell of manky over-ripe fermenting mangoes mixed with flying fox guano, and the Mextorians that flocked to the show adored the home pong of Yarra creek water blended with the smell of a machete wielder's armpit, which .....

Edited September 10 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.... many Melburnians had developed a taste for, although the scars lasted for years. 

Bull decided to franchise his huge financial success - take it around the world, Launceston, Bordertown, Gympie ("They could have a Parwyn Muster"), but Deniliquin laid down a mil. for the rights to "the Deni Parwyn Muster" - 230 acres of stalls, Topless parwyn dancers on Ute Roofs, ..................................

 

[bull]

17 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... and with his usual outstanding skill, bull developed a way to manage the smells according to taste, so all Indian visitors loved the Delhi flavors & aromas, the FNQ visitors loved the smell of manky over-ripe fermenting mangoes mixed with flying fox guano, and the Mextorians that flocked to the show adored the home pong of Yarra creek water blended with the smell of a machete wielder's armpit, which .....

.......just enhanced the effect after the PRAWNER thrill ride [ This is the gate}.....Now the cleaners where not to happy with the pay they where getting so they............

Edited September 10 by bull

[turboplanner]

40 minutes ago, bull said:

.......just enhanced the effect after the PRAWNER thrill ride [ This is the gate}.....Now the cleaners where not to happy with the pay they where getting so they............

...were given parwyn Uniforms, and sent to mountaineering college where they............

[Captain]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...were given parwyn Uniforms, and sent to mountaineering college where they............

.... learnt to abseil down to where the customers made a mess when they got a fright on the parwyn thrill rides or had an adverse reaction to an occasional bad NZ Oyster, or overripe mango. (The only place where this was not a disadvantage was at the aquarium where the 5 Orcas and the 3 pods of Dolphins loved the regular upchuck snacks as the roller coaster went over the top).

 

Most of our knowledgeable readers would know, but some may not, that getting a dodgy oyster before boarding the fastest roller coaster in the world and then being subjected to a rapid succession of +6 & -6 G crests and turns can see the bad oyster aftereffects hurtle into seen and unseen public areas where mountaineering training and a cast iron stomach were essential skills for a ..... 

[turboplanner]

....long and happy career as a Parwyn Girl. It was usually the bright red US Marching Girls outfits the girls didn't like, but Bull did and that's what counted. People poured in by the thousands.

 

Bull had always been mesmerised by those fountains which squirt a  small stream of water into the air and it performs a perfect parabola into a pipe a short distance away. 

 

Most people walk away just in case their own system starts squirting in sympathy.

 

Bull hired an Engineer to design The Big Squirt, which involved building a twin Big Parwyn then in a perfect parabola the roller coaster would leave Parwyn 1 and arrive at Parwyn 2 after a bored pimply attendant sitting in a deck chair fired an elephant gun as they left P1.

 

Tens of thousands flew in from around the world including half the population of Slovaia who thought they owned the place.

 

Bull sat there counting his money and he was happy........until ...........

[Captain]

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Bull hired an Engineer to design The Big Squirt, which involved building a twin Big Parwyn then in a perfect parabola the roller coaster would leave Parwyn 1 and arrive at Parwyn 2 after a bored pimply attendant sitting in a deck chair fired an elephant gun as they left P1.

bull was surprised and amused when he received a letter from Mackas, who claimed that in golden sunlight, The Big Squirt looked just like their Golden Arches because of matching the Parwyn Perfect Parabola to the Mackas signs nearby on the Bruce. This didn't worry bull because his Parwyn enterprise was now bigger than some half baked US Hamburger cooker.

 

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Tens of thousands flew in from around the world including half the population of Slovaia who thought they owned the place.

 

Bull sat there counting his money and he was happy........until .....

..... a large group of Slovaians turned up at the security gates of his guarded compound (bull has more security staff than does Elon), and ...... 

Edited September 11 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....started acting up, as Slovaians do. They were upsetting the staff with their abuse so Bull  brought the tender around invented a river ride, took them out into the middle of the river, gave them an address about courtesy which consisted of 12 words, beating the President Lincoln Gettysburgh address, the last two being XXX XXXXXX!.

 

Meanwhile Bull was thinking about the Golden Arches. People kept on asking what the Parwyns were, annoying Bull so he built a Mini Train Line across to Maccas on Bruce, got a licence to paint the big yellow M on the Parwyns and set up mutual free-meal, free visit deals.

 

The cars poured in off the Bruce. Bull and Maccas had to knock down 30 hecares of Wetland habitat for the car park. 

 

While he was at it, Bull built a clover leaf overpass and captured the southbound traffic as well. 

 

Bull wanted to start a Parwyn Casino away, so he dragged Cappy away from scrutinising every piece of spelling that haad ever been written, and they built a causeway 3.1 miles out to sea, and ................

 

[Captain]

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Bull wanted to start a Parwyn Casino away, so he dragged Cappy away from scrutinising every piece of spelling that haad ever been written, and they built a causeway 3.1 miles out to sea, and .......

..... as most people know, who haad been following the NES, in order to comply with the metric services act, that should have read "5.022 kms" .... but Cappy also makes the point that this was not an error that could be ascribed to bull, nor any of the boards, sub-boards and executives of the Parwyn (or parwyn) organisation, this was just Turbo being overly sensitive to somebody considering his miss-typing, and a slight jealousy that bulls Parwyn success has eclipsed his own in column mm's over recent times.

 

The causeway became an instant success, as it could be seen from space and soon, lovers from all over the world were coming to attach padlocks to the thousands of padlock-attachment-points (pap's) that bull had cleverly built in.

 

After the padlock-attachment-ceremony (pac) the punters were all directed through into the one-way Parwyn/Maccas complex, where they .....

[Captain]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

and soon, lovers from all over the world were coming to attach padlocks

In an important conciliatory and commercially astute move by the Parwyn Organization, Turbine Engraving & Podiatry were offered exclusive rights to provide the Padlocks (no others were permitted) and then to Engrave them with a set of standard (but long, based on $5 per letter) messages. 

[Captain]

On 12/09/2026 at 10:57 AM, turboplanner said:

Meanwhile Bull was thinking about the Golden Arches. People kept on asking what the Parwyns were, annoying Bull so he built a Mini Train Line across to Maccas on Bruce, got a licence to paint the big yellow M on the Parwyns and set up mutual free-meal, free visit deals.

Maccas really do know their marketing, and given the success of the Parwyn JV, they called the free-meal deal a "Mcbull" and they created a new "bull macdonald" character, who looked a bit like a cross between Alf Garnet and the hamburgler, but as bull so often says during his speaking tours, there is no such thing as bad publicity.

 

Although they didn't get too many kiddies wanting him to host their birthday parties.

 

Edited September 12 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Of course, as some Nessers have guessed, the unmistakeable "Gin Skin", beady eyes, and grin with a fag in his tooth gap was Cappy, who else!

 

Cappy had a nice little earner as one of the "characters" who "warmed up" the crowd in the half hour wait at the ticket booths. OT was there to of course as the "Invisible Man", along with CT as "Davie Crocket"  carrying a gun which went off with a roar, just as everyone was getting bored.

[turboplanner]

........entered through an archway under a giant Parwyn's tail. There were bubbling sound which made the patrons trot through, just in case more than bubbling came out.

 

How good was this!

 

What could get any better?

 

Bull built a landing for Cruise Ships on the end of the three mile.

 

Turbine Cruises were contracted to supply six  Ships with 5000 passenger capacity running "rides 24 hours a day for $58.00. Monorail shuttles carried passengers from the Jetty to the landing which had a 2000 seat Starbucks in full swing 24/7.

 

Life was good, but Bull didn't stop there......................................................................................................................................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine Cruises were contracted to supply six  Ships with 5000 passenger capacity running "rides 24 hours a day for $58.00. Monorail shuttles carried passengers from the Jetty to the landing which had a 2000 seat Starbucks in full swing 24/7.

 

Life was good, but Bull didn't stop there........

.... , as bull is a true ideas man, so he contacted Elon, and retained his Boring Company to create what might be the ultimate thrill ride, so he had The Boring Company hollow out an exact replica of The Large Hadron Collider on the other side of "The Bruce" so that his lucky punters could experience supersonic speeds for an hour, while sitting in little titanium capsules running on used SKF ball bearing races.

 

The concept was so original and successful that bull, now with the number of staff greater than Amazon, .....

Edited September 13 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....decided to go one better and extend the Cruise Ship rides down South.

 

There he would build the Ultimate Theme Park - ARMAGEDDON 1.5!

 

This would cover the days when Earth had Climate Change and the United Nations Chief (Russel Crowe) declared that when the temperature increased by 1.5% Australia would be DESTROYED!.

 

The site he chose for the Cruise Destination was...................Logan.

 

He would knock down a few square kilometres of houses. The patrons would be picked up in scenic coaches with glass roofs to see the water bombers in action on the Armageddon Fires. Helicopter rides would allow patrons to be right there with the Police Chases, and K9 operations which you could see bite by bite.  There would be multiple Stages (similar to Universal Studios, but bigger,  where you could sit in on the prosecutions of people who hadn't bought roof top solar from  Philippino call centres. There would be an Armageddon Stage where members of the audience could take part in the mayhem as Logan destructed. At the end of the day the guests would be given a free slice of pineapple with a parwyn on it. Some patrons, forgetting the $8000.00 ticket price would become teary at this beautiful free gift, and ......................

 

 

 

           

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

At the end of the day the guests would be given a free slice of pineapple with a parwyn on it. Some patrons, forgetting the $8000.00 ticket price would become teary at this beautiful free gift, and ........

..... the guests all went down on one knee and "thanked the bull" ..... after bull arranged for Leonard Cohen to sing each of them his personal rendition of Hallelujah.

 

And this is where the 1st cracks appeared in the bull entertainment complex, when he built a cathedral sized chapel in the name of "st bull the worker", with a centerpiece of a Maltese Cross behind bull's face, above the recently discovered "Shroud of Bowen", while he was .......