The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

On approach into Chez Cappy at YKKA.

 

Apologies for being heavy footed on the rudder, but I was still getting used to her.

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1091692866752847

Turbo heard they can't control it because it keeps on dropping every time is sees a crop. Turbo had a sheep dog like that. Every time it saw a fox, it shot after the fox and let the sheep out .Turbo decided to shoot it, because you can't have that at a farm. Just as he was about to pull the trigger a fox ran past.

[turboplanner]

........history. The students kept crashing in the Derwent because the instructor was left handed.

 

One day ..........

[Captain]

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........history. The students kept crashing in the Derwent because the instructor was left handed.

 

One day ..........

.... Chuck decided to use his right hand, and low & behold it felt like someone else was doing it, ...... and the stewedants stopped heading for + hitting the trees.

 

Aircraft replacement and insurance costs were reduced to manageable levels, Chuck was flush with cash, his right arm became as muscular as his left, and he signed a ...... 

[turboplanner]

......Contract with a Hollywood Stunt Agency, and was called to Hollywood. We neglected to tell NES readers what Aircraft CHUCK flew; it was a MK VIIIa-3 series. There were only three left in Australia (oops, make that two; one went down last night). They had a highlift wing and would lift off within a couple of metres. The Agency phoned with a multi-million dollar 5 deal. He was to play a CIA operative during the Vietnam War fkying in to Cambodia, shooting up a Commando Training camp and bring back 3 cases of beer and stuff. Problem was Drifters had been banned from Freight aircraft after 375 claims for damage; the only way he could get it over was deck cargo on a ship. The second day a slight headwind blew up................................

 

[Captain]

..... and the aircraft (avref) started to try to hover (avref).

 

The new Mk 12 wing has been a breakthru and has a 40:1 glide ratio, so it stretched the tiedowns and was spotted by a US Nuclear Sub, which declared it to be a drone of unknown parentage.

 

The Skipper (cappyref) of the Sub reported that ...... 

Edited August 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

The drone was a POS, and he was not reporting its position.   As we know, AUF members are sensitive about their equipment and all 10000 rose up and called the skipper an XXXXXXXX.

The skipper upped the anti referring to the Drifter as a bucket of bolts, ugly and bet Bunnings had to restock after an AUF builder bought ll the parts.

This brought the AUF builders in and they were a nasty lot, ...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

This brought the AUF builders in and they were a nasty lot, ......

.... who formed a Lobby Group, that elected an Administary Committee, which flew in their own aircraft to the US via Japan, Russia, Alaska and Canada.

 

That took the Rag & Tube members 60 years, so those that actually made it were the 3rd generation of those that originally departed OZ, so when they eventually arrived and lobbied to have the Submarine Captain sacked, he had been in a box for ......

[turboplanner]

59 years. 

"What happened?" NES readers might ask.

But .............................

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

59 years. 

"What happened?" NES readers might ask.

But ....

.... not many people know that US nuclear subs are captained on a hereditary basis, so the oldest son of the oldest son of the original skipper was the one now in charge.

 

So dear readers, we had the 2 times nippers of the rag and tubers still snakey about the actions of a long dead Submarine Captain, when one of the Rag & Tubers (who had glided in from Anchorage [as the wing profile had been further improved over the years and was now better that of an Eta with a 75:1 glide ratio]) said enough is enough.

 

As a result, a Drifter won the World Gliding Competition and the dispute with the Sub Captain was defused via a couple of cases of Jack Daniels.

 

This all meant, and not many NESers are aware of this fact, that the one .....

Edited August 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...PIA who used to criticise every post about Drifters, set the alarm every morning to watch the posters, was beaten. Drifters were the Man!

Turbo commissioned a tiny model of a Drifter and sent it to him, and he didn't go down to the pub for a week.

Not all was going well though, the Drifters were picking up so much lift that they flew like dragonflies; one minute you were halfway to the destination and the next, back at the start.

Something had to be done.........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Something had to be done......

..... as the design had earnt it's dedicated followers back BC, and here we are in the modern world using wings that can be Bent, and many owners are Christening some of their new aircraft's 30 ft wingspan by installing heavier RF guydance equipment instead of water balast, so as to .....

[turboplanner]

......Stabilise, yet save weight, but it was very unreliable, and fell apart at the seams at the slightest rough weather. You had to belt it down with a hammer before you could get it to work. At times.................

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Stabilise, yet save weight, but it was very unreliable, and fell apart at the seams at the slightest rough weather. You had to belt it down with a hammer before you could get it to work. At times.................

.... he needed to refer the issues to Baz, who Builds things like this, and while he does not have too much in his Moneybox, he knows someone who specializes in Aircraft Fiberglass, so repairs were possible, and he would soon be a Flyboy again.

 

Yet after all that good news and name dropping, he was still concerned (NESandWreckFlyingpreservationref) about some unhinged clown .....

Edited August 26 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........flying, without a licence, up the Burnley Tunnel. He was already known for brushing a wingtip along the balcony of the 15th floor of one of the Gold Coast HI rises and was  only caught when ................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...........flying, without a licence, up the Burnley Tunnel. He was already known for brushing a wingtip along the balcony of the 15th floor of one of the Gold Coast HI rises and was  only caught when ................

......., like a dill, he told a leading light that he always kept a pistol in his car or aircraft.

 

After a lengthy investigation he was sentenced to whinging about the NES and victimising some forum members.

 

But given the support for the NES by all of the Moderatti, and after receiving letters in numerous languages from NES fans, donors and Patreon members (Turds and I are sick of all the coffees that our supporters are buying for us), the NES was elevated, by Adam Min himself/herself (NTTIAWWT) no less, up the Wreck Frying Totum Pole so that it could be .....

[turboplanner]

.......enjoyed by the thousands of Movers and Shakers without management knowing about it. Turbo remembers the day when there was a massive argument about whether a licence was needed "if yer were trainin another Member." When the answer, by a learned Instructor was XXXXXXX YES!!!!!!!!!!!, the response was .......in 'is own plane" followed by a general silence.Turbo haad to go in and see CASA that day pursuent to getting himself out of the XXXX, and the whole room burst into laughter when he walked in. "Now you know what we have to put up with!" As he was saying that another .... officer strolled over, took the paper out of Turbo's hand stamped it and winked. "You da MAN!" he said, which is a rather unusual comment from the silent force, but a week later, aall Turbo was doing was ....................

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"You da MAN!" he said, which is a rather unusual comment from the silent force, but a week later, all Turbo was doing was ......

..... signing autographs and receiving gifts for his NES contributions, including 2 Poet Lauriat awards, a Walkley, the Pulitzer Prize, and the Archibald. 

 

Turbo was speechless as not many people know that it was Archibald Turbine who had stumped up the cash for the prize, and the ......

[turboplanner]

......ungrateful crayon wavers promply wiped out Archie's surname. Turbo retaliated by withdrawing the $8 million prizemoney, so now all the get is the best wishes from the Archibald.Not maany people know that artists are real pricks, refusing to work if the light is just not quite right. Take this case, Jack Picasso was a serial non-conformist and was known for sending his staff carrying heavy chairs and tables down tto the local lake and setting up for a landscape (that's what artists call pictures). He strolled down with a bottlel of red and a French chick on each arm, looked at the scene, said "The light's not right" and did the same for 8 years when he FINALLY painted the "landscape". Little wonder that is cost millions of francs and set ....................

[Captain]

49 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

when he FINALLY painted the "landscape". Little wonder that is cost millions of francs and set ..............

.... a world benchmark price, which meant that only members of the Rockefeller & Turbine families, plus Wazza Buffett, Elon and owners of oilfields, could compete to buy the artworks.

 

One of the oilfield owners was particularly keen as he owned all of the BC oilfields, which were valued based on current BC prices and paid for, in BC, by BC, using BC.

 

As all NESers would be aware, the oilfields located in British Colombia, have always been valued based on the price of Brent Crude and paid for in BitCoin, yet not many people know that Brent Crude was originally named after a wildcat well expert (in fact he was and is an expert on just about anything) known as Crude Brent, but he objected to that name and when incited often went out to his car to get his pistol, so everyone found it easier to reverse the name instead of banning him from any further oil trading.

 

Crude Brent (nobody on the trading floor ever knew his last name, but some suggest that it also starts with a C (perhaps because he might be one of them), and that meant that ..... 

Edited August 27 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....the best way out was to build a pipeline with taps. That way you could get oil and not have to deal with the ego set or require an enigma machine. The enigma machine was a sore point with Turbo because his cousin's grandfather actually invented the machine attributed to Bletchley Park. Anthony Turbine was a bit of a recluse and enjoyed  welding up things with plenty of wheels and running 240 volt power through them to see what would happen. He was trying to invent an electric car. One machine had 40 wheels, aand when you turned the power on some would go around. After a while he noticed that others would go around three times then stop. On a whim he added a printer, and suddenly the machine came to life and invented a ditty......Mary hd a little lamb ....................................

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

On a whim he added a printer, and suddenly the machine came to life and invented a ditty......Mary hd a little lamb .......

.... , and the 2nd verse it added "With baked potatoes" (as written by the Potato Marketing Board [the PMB]).

 

Not many people would know, but those who are mates with Turbo have perhaps caught a glimps of a family trait, that Anthony Turbine (he prefers Antony and also likes the name Antonella when out Clubing) was the basis for Benedict Cumberbatch's character (NTTIAWWT) in the film ......

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... Mary hd a little lamb .....

Dear NES Audience. Turbo is a long-term best mate of mine, but I also know his foibles, and the above text therefore rings alarm bells.

 

Could "hd" be his twisted and/or perhaps perverted way to mean:

 

"had" in the worst erky perky sense of the word?

 

"held" which is perhaps wholesome but could also be erky perky if this happened before she "had" the poor little lamb.
 

"hired" but surely Mary wouldn't do that to strangers, particularly if in Tasmania.

 

"handled" ... so perhaps even more erky perky connotations by Turbo for grazing animals.

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....Drifters and Jabs, an aerial version of Lilo and Stitch. The film starts with the two flying in formation along the Murray River. As locals know, the Murray travels 3 miles for every mile across country, which is why it takes the water so long to come down, and by the time it gets to Adelaide 30,000 sheep and catle have had the opportunity to crap in it, that's why Adelaide people ....................................

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....Drifters and Jabs, an aerial version of Lilo and Stitch. The film starts with the two flying in formation along the Murray River. As locals know, the Murray travels 3 miles for every mile across country, which is why it takes the water so long to come down, and by the time it gets to Adelaide 30,000 sheep and catle have had the opportunity to crap in it, that's why Adelaide people ....................................

.... love rubbing Lanolin on their .....

[turboplanner]

....elevator hinges, especially on Jabs which have a habit of..........