Captain

Two and a bit

Three

So who was making that awful smell?......

"Eeet is meee mon dieu" said :star: PepePete :yuk: as he :ah_oh::confused::big_grin::raise_eyebrow::clown: peeled off his skunk costume "For I have been scoffing cabbage rolls in order to impersonate zee Skonk, while I had my way with zee brazilian cat".

"Does that mean that I am a .........................

I seem to strain a lot more often these days....

"You reckon that you are straining?" said the cat "How do you think I feel? Have you had a squizz at Pepe lately? He looks a lot like .....................

Don't strain out in the garden as my Aunt doesn't like it

...by a pen wielding aunt, from a garden with with a fence made from 988 posts.

Tee Hee... you mean 989 don't ya?

The keyboard of the Ahlovakian is slow out in the garden

smiled, not knowing he was about to be skun....

..... not knowing he was about to be skunked.

"What does that mean? asked the cat "Am I about to have a white stripe sprayed down the middle of my back, or am I about to be mounted by Pepe le Pieu?"

As the NES's leading pussy fetishest, Tink replied "You are about to be ............

Le plume de ma Tante et being cleaned in the garden ... using one of ahlovacs hoses

Meanwhile Cap’s Tante’s pen which was lost yet again in the garden has miraculously re appeared with disastrous results half protruding from…….

"Righty-Oh" said Skipper "Which one of you dirty buggers inserted my Aunt's pen in there? Come on, and come clean. Was it you Bingles, as we haven't had this type of depravity while you were away (but we did have a fair bit of other depravity)" added Le Crepe.

"Did you know that this pussy speaks Portugese" asked Le Crepe Suzette.

"Well that means that there is a strong chance that it is a Brazilian" said Le Crapp (who has sampled the delights of Rio and Port Allegre on numerous occasions).

That cat ............

Just 14 more posts in my Tante's garden & it will be her 1000th - so don't fix it

Perhaps it didn't start because it knew what was about to happen to it?

More likely Biggles was merely following the tracks in the sand that the lass's Nana made while persuing the messiah of the 60s otherwise known as ......

....... TrainedKillerPete, who prowled the Riverina throughout the '60's like a cross between Ned Kelly and Shintaro.

"Sword play and star knives ain't easy with a garbage tin on your mellon and a squadron of troopers up your clacker" said NedPete "Particularly those SILO municipal plastic wheely-bins."

"You should ........................

I voted in the positive, but do have a concern that this little step in weight might trigger additional regulation and that would not be good or welcome (or necessary imho).

I have faith that the RAA would be covering this issue, and I am actually more worried that some of the other licence endorsements might do more than the weight increase to get big-brother more onto our backs.

Just my little 2 c worth.

Good one Bingles. A great contribution to the Never Ending Trip-Report/Never Ending Electrical System Report.

"It's always a pleasure to have Bingles drop in" said somebody. "I wonder if anyone will chat him on the rules about getting close to clouds"

"Not a chance" said somebody else "As he didn't mention how close he zoomed near them".

"He's not a naughty boy, he's actually a .........

So the TorradinTubby has posted a double bunger, and if Tink can tell old jokes as his creative contribution to the NES, then so can Le Crepe.

The Sheriff (of Echuca) walked through the bat-wing doors at the local watering hole and said "Listen up folks, I'm a look'n for the Brown Paper Cowboy. Have any of you seen him"

"What does he look like Sheriff?" asked Walter(Brennan)Pete

"He has brown paper shoes, a brown paper hat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper pants and a brown paper gun-belt. So have you seen him?"

"What's he wanted for Sheriff?" asked the XXXXpots at the bar.

"Rustling" replied the Sheriff.

"That's a ..............................

OK, I give in... I can see that I am going to have to divulge ALL of my secret plans to make this work. I really did want to keep some back to ensure that no one else could steal the complete idea, but what the heck... here goes...Now there is no need for electric cable as there will be batteries to run the compressor. Ah but they will go flat, I hear you shout. No, and this is the clever bit... they will constantly be topped up with the use of micro thin solar panels which will cover the upper surface of the wings.

Drive the compressor with a 5.5 hp Honda farmer's friend.

They have a TBO of about 5000 hrs. I know because I have one transferring water from one dam to another and you can't kill them with an axe (although the compression is getting a bit low @ 4000 hrs, in fact you can't feel it very much but it starts 1st pull every time and runs well), and it thrives on 300 hourly, or more, oil changes (if it is lucky).

Assume I can trust you to send regular royalty cheques once this is all up and running.

Regards Geoff

PS Account and BSB numbers will be PM'd in due course.

Flying is simply the art of throwing yourself at the ground without making a furrow off to the side of the runway.

...... back to the days when he was driving sheep down the Diamantina.....

"I had a similar experience once when I was driving it up the Roper" said Le Crappe.

For it looks like Tink is on a nostalgia trip, just like TOSG is on up in the Gliding Thread, however it is likely that any forum member under 47 may not have hear Tink's jokes before, so it is probably OK and not worthy of ridicule.

"What happened up the Roper? That's in the Territory isn't it" asked Tink.

"Yes" said Le Crappe "It was Warren Roper's sister, Helen".

As Le Crappe ducked for cover, BigPete said ".................

It happened in the garden, up there in the Territory

Dear Orvil

The only limit will be the length of the electrical cable and it's weight, both being issues that you can solve readily ... or "no worries" if you just want to orbit your joint.

Regards

As he drove out of the car wash and looked in the mirror, he recoiled in horror. There, leering at him was BigWords......

..... BigWordsPete.

"I never have been able to get used to the instructions for using a mirror" he said "Hey Geoff, stop plying that Lass with rough plonk and show me how you reckon a mirror can be used for seeing other people, as there is always this bloke looking straight at me and he has a "trained killer" stare that frightens the thong off me".

"How'd you blokes like to be girt by legs (not that there is anything wrong with that)?" slurred the Nanna.

"No thanks" said Geoff "I'm sure that Peter would prefer to be ....................

The pen of my Tante has been back to France and returned to Deni in 3 posts

2. Or it could be attached to....

Or it could be attached to....the windsock at Phillip Island. That way it would only stream straight out at 50 knots (ie all the time) so that if the Skipper flies down there for the Superbikes at end Feb he won't be so frightened with the wind only at 40 knots.

"Did somebody mention being a "Super Bike"" said the lass "Because I'm a .......

If it's not broken ... then it must be mandatory

... but he liked the gutsy sound.

He thought to himself "I think this is good enough now to put in the water", not realising he should have put it in the water before he started it.....

.... for it had popped all the rivets that the Turbo had put in it, and the gutsy sound was similar to what you hear in a Sportzsar when you over-stress it.

Pop, pop, pop, pop went the rivets, and click, click, click went the rivet gun.

"Oh bugger" said Tubb "I'm not keeping up, I'll have to .........................

If it's not optional, ...... don't fix it

... a magical apparition appeared. It was ........

It was .......... Tink and even magical-er, his outboard was going and had been running for more than 4 minutes (which was a first).

"How shall I thank you bloke blokes from WW" asked Tink "I know, I will ...........

Joining the NES is optional .. but making an idiot of yourself there is mandatory

......however, it is alway entertaining to watch the wit of Wagga........

.... climb into his Sportzsar and wing his way awound wagga while winking with his wand in his hand.

"I have a wand in my hand, therefore I must be a magician" said the ChinStrap.

"Watch this" he said and POOF (not that there is anything wrong with that) a magical apparition appeared. It was ..............

Just 40 posts to go to the magical #1000 ....which is less than my aunt had out there in the garden

Crikey Cap't, now I can't delete my test post - I needed to add a post in a thread with many pages to test something so there is none better then the NES

Feel free to download here whatever you like Ian. Everyone else does, and uses the NES to unburden themselves or test whatever turns them on.

"But why should Ian just dump his load here?" asked the Riverland Lass

"Because he is the boss and deserves respects" said LickerPete

"OK Ian, shoot" said the Lass "I will ..............................

The Crapper stays in character, even while talking with Ian ... in the garden

this is a test post - please ignore

So is this, please ignore mine too.

The test of our Admin is stuck up on the post in my Aunt's garden

Another double bunger - "Me too" said the Lass

...did I mention that it's hot today ??:yuk:

.... goodness it is a bit warm

..... and where is BigPete?

He's .......................

If it's hot in the garden, then my aunt must be on the boil

....... Lovak slinks off to work(finally).

But at which work will he be. Will it be the one where he provides a service to the community, the one where he services any member of the community that wants it, or the one where he gives the community a serve?

"I've checked him out" said Swanny "And his records of convictions indicate that while there are a ship-load of other entries, Mr Lovach would never, ever, be involved in doing a cashie ..... which is unusual for someone from his part of the world."

"Caroline ...... Caroline ...... Caroline" came the distant call, as Big-amy came round the corner "Has anyone seen my green ...........................

The lady-friend of the Bingles is in the garden (in an anonymous location under the witness protection program)

Nothing dumb about that Tomo. Easter @ Narromine and well worth a visit by air or road.