Captain

"It's my clock and I'll advance it when ever I want!"

And there, dear readers, lies the root of the Ahlovachian's problems (not that there is anything wrong with that).

But why does his wife report that he always screams out "Clear Prop" each time that he gets to the interesting bit?

"Did someone say "root"?" asked the Lass "And speaking of roots, does anyone know when Shinturbo is due back?"

"I hope he brings back some of those asian Dizzy-Affro-ducks that will make him go all night, and also some of those other pills that will assist the Tubbo to plan his arrivals a bit better" she added "Someone should tell the Tubbo that being a good planner doesn't always mean getting there first, so perhaps I might get him to advance his clock a few times, before we start".

"No good getting him to advance his clock" said Le Crepe, "As he is already on Zulu time".

Just then ..........................

My Aunt says that there has been too much advancing going on, out there in the garden

Looks like Sunday or possibly Friday would be the go Captain if you're coming for a day trip.

Yes, just looking for a day trip and it looks like you are right. If it stays looking good I might just head on down on Friday and see how far I get.

Thanks for your feedback. How about posting an update for me on how you read the weather around there on Wed & Thur nights?

Regards Geoff

PS ...... when are you departing Echuca Peter? I assume tomorrow morning??

What's the weather like on the hills around melbourne

To anyone around Melbourne.

You put on an Airshow and look what happens.

The Area 30 predictions doesn't look good and says that the cloud is on the ground at Kilmore Gap.

How does it look to you experienced Mexicans re the chances of us Cockroaches to get across those hills into Avalon over the next couple of days?

Regards Geoff

"Say What???" screamed Nanna, "Can't hear a bloody thing 'cuz of me tinnitus"

"No, I got that wrong" said Nanna 'I have tittieness, not that ringing in my ears"

For as HiHo contributes in prose,

Yet every forum member knows

When put to the test

A J comes out best

While the R owners are in shock

From regularly advancing their clock

But for HiHo to say

That Admin might also be having a play

From just 3.5 million hits

Which must give competing websites the s**ts (the splatters)

For nothing else matters

Than to fly and have fun

With an occasional NES pun

And a sprinkle of luck

While Nanna and the Lass have a ................. nice wine.

The bits that fell into the garden will be posted back with the warranty sheet

"For with 100 ponies at 5000 rpm humming through the seat of your pants, you never fly alone. You will always be accompanied with a traveller......"

"My grand-daughter and I love it when you talk dirty, dear ahlocks, and Harold-Leujah ..... we have seen the light. There can surely be nothing better than 4 cylinders of twin carbied muscle throbbing away out in front of you." said the Netherland Nanna.

"And this proves that BigPete was telling us porkies while he was trying to do the same" she added "As he told the Lass that a single bing was all she needed in order to achieve complete satisfaction (aviation wise)."

"That's not true" said ................................

My Aunt's Austrian bleischtift is being used to fill in the Warranty Form, in the garden.

"Bozo the chook feeder, Nanna. And what can I do you for...."

"If you can multiply the sourdough rolls & the little fishies, then the 1st thing you can do for me is supply an unlimited quantity of sausage" said Nanna with a gleam in her eye and her teeth in a glass.

"Now I'm off to confession to clear the way for some fun times" she said, and added "There is a lineup at confession these days. And the line is always full of Rotaryaxe owners trying to cleanse their sins and the decisions that they regret, particularly now that an 11th commandment has been added by Saint Rod, about air cooling and gearbox servicing."

The gearbox of my Aunt is in pieces in the garden, and the her clutch is slipping (& yes, I did say Clutch)

Cap't, I am very seriously thinking of publishing the NES starting with vol1 - do you think people would want one if we called it:"The Recreational Flying Ops Manual"

To evaluate this, can you extract any figures on how many visits to the NES thread are just the 6 or 10 regulars and how many non contributors are regular visitors who enjoy the NES story nonsense.

And will you be at the AAAA Echuca knees-up where all the NES'ers are going to get together for a BBQ & to turn their clocks forward?

Regards Geoff

........ from overhead. All eyes turned skyward as Buddha tried to coax the motor back to life.

And the engine fired up again and ran like a Swiss watch.

"I'd better land" said the rotund deity "As the problem appears to be that cheap Rotaryaxe fuel filter that I installed at the last 100 hourly"

So Buddha landed, with the perfect non-left-turning touchdown that only a deity (and BigPete) can achieve, and as he taxied over to the fuel bowser a CASA inspector bloke sprang from the back of the dunny where he had been advancing his clock, wandered over and said "You look a bit on the round side mate (and a bit gold plated too), can I check the currency of your ERSA & maps, and let's do a check on your MTOW too"

"Ok, cobber" was the deititious reply "I'll just ............................

Le Tugger has decided to offend various other religions too, in the garden

Congratulations Ian. You and your co-workers on the site deserve this acceptance and success.

PS This also shows what the Never Ending Story has done to boost circulation.;):big_grin::big_grin:

McLovaksky is fearful :ah_oh::confused: of revenge

And rightly so, for Ahlocks owns a SportSzar and calls ME a w*nker?

while desperately trying to remove the image of how the Le Krappe will wind the clock back in April from his mind.

Le Krappee has been experimenting (specifically for the benifit of mankind as a whole) and has found that the clock goes backwards if you change hands.

"And I've been watching" said Nanna.

"If only I had a Rotoryaxe in this thing I'd be........"

...... I'd be ....... 2 cylinders short of a good engine, 3000 revs over the limit and up sh*tter's ditch without an Angel"

"G'day BigBoy" said Nanna "What's your name? .............................

OMGosh :ah_oh: - it's true - God flys a Jabiru. :thumb_up: And you read it right here in the NES....

Le Crepe wants to make it absolutely clear to those NES'ers of a religious persuasion that it was not HE that mentioned the "G" word.

"Where's the Krapatan's?" McLovak asked."Oh, his is over there on the desk .... We've been using it as a fan"

And Le Tugger wants to also make it clear that he thinks that mastication is an essential part of life's broard tapestry.

"If you go steady with me, you'll never have to make that clock move again" said the Nanna.

"I'm not sure about that" said Le Tug, "As at least I know all of the special things that I like (such as Portugese Tarts)"

"I can speak Portugese" said Nanna "Obrigard, and undo this" she added.

Just then, Le Tugger turned to/on his disloyal scottish Czech ex-mate and said "A bloke makes 1 little joke about the Big Fella and a Rotax and you go ape .....................

My Aunt is shocked & concerned that I might have fondled my pen in her garden in order to advance the clock for daylight savings

Jez Pete, one of the crew was young! She looked bloody nervous in her brand spanking new gear! We did offer to drag her through some ash and dirt so she wouldn't attract attention :devil:. She declined - Nice kid and crew!

........................................

 

....Have actually done a 'lost keys' call on a Jabby. Was a freebie though. The guy was a priest visiting WGA.

"So the Ahlocks has had a pretty good week" observed Minnie "As while he was down south pretending to save Mexico, he was actually searching for the blonde CFA Lass in overalls and a black tank top of whom he had a fleeting glance the weekend before, and who has unknowingly stolen what heart he has left".

"And then he does a favour for a Sky Pilot, so as to get the job of Locky at the Pearly Gates, where a Chubb 978XL and a 10 figure combination is the minimum spec, so as to keep out the riff-raff" she added "But watch out as St Peter is regularly losing the keys and he keeps forgetting the code (he is getting on, you know)".

"But wait" said Pete "While you may have bought your way in with a freebie, you own a Rotax, do you not?"

"Yes" said SportSzarovac 'But ...................

"Silence" said Peter (Saint, not Big) "Get thee downstairs, as the big-fella has a 3300 in his 230 and won't allow anyone in here who runs an engine above 3400 rpm or has a gearbox and/or a sprag clutch"

"But what about .................

Hi guy's who is bushy ?

Well good luck guy's I have just been informed that I can not hire the Jabiru 160 on the 13 14 of march for the airshow although I booked it months ago. After all this planning, saving, ringing Avalon organizers, Raa people, speaking to GA and Raa pilots who have done it for advice and getting my GAAP procedures all sorted out ( and flying over avalon twice to check out the layout and visiting once on the bike) Etc I am..... Well to say the least ... Disappointed. Excuse was The plane has been booked by someone else. but I know the flying school just does not want me to fly it into avalon although I booked it months ago.For me to hire a plane now would be almost impossible, and I would have to do an hour or so with the people who own it to show them I am a competent flyer, or if It was a 230 Etc would have to do a conversion and then a few hours on the friday beforehand to become familiar enough with it blah blah blah......

 

Upset is an understatement..... absolutely shattered and somewhat angry.

 

At-least I have done some work here of which might have aided someone else to have a go at getting in. I do expect pictures and reports, If I yell at you for flying in please forgive me.

she'll be comin' and a comin'

Yeee Haaaa BigBoldPete has returned :big_grin:

 

(and not a moment too soon I'm tippin') ;);)

 

Now, who's doin' what to whom :yuk:

"Welcome back Peter" said his adoring public "The world is back on it's axis and the NES is back on track"

"OY" said the Riverland Lass. "Me and my Mum and my Nan are the main and only female players in this here NES and there is no room for another of that gender, so why don't you go and do a BigPete?"

"So did Minnie 'do-you' as I suggested?" the Lass asked Peter "And was she better than I was?"

"When is that turbo charged steam engine like stud, Tubbo, coming back from Japan?" pined her Nanna "As I long to have some of his sushi roll, and am I correct to assume that McAhlock has gone back to visit his rello's in Scotland?" she asked sadly with her teeth back in.

No, they are ....................

My Aunt is a comin' and a comin' around the mountain, in the garden. "He's not a mountain" she said 'He's just a little overweight, but his pen still works"

EDIT Thur - Le Crapper notices today that while our McAhlovachian mate might be a Scotty, he has spent the dough with Ian and has become a new shiney gold plated member. (So that should get the lass's eyes and elsewhere a twitching) Very impressive and goes well with his SportSzar. But the Locky's rates will go up for a while now, so don't anyone here break their keys off in their locks.

Or is it that the schlong's not wholly in the not holy aunt’s knot holey post?

So with the NES slowing to a crawl, and many of the stall-warts buggering off, Le Crapp decided to introduce a new character.

"Forum regulars obviously object to mention of the dreaded schlong, not to mention Le Crepe's Aunt's knot thingy, so stop it or I'll ban you" said Minnie.

"OY" said the Riverland Lass. "Me and my Mum and my Nan are the main and only female players in this here NES and there is no room for another of that gender, so why don't you go and do a BigPete?"

"This NES is over subscribed with virile spunks of the male type (not that there is anything wrong with that)" said Minnie "And there are enough for all of us".

"Just who are you anyway" said the Lass.

"I am Minnie Strator and I'm making a run to be the female equivalent of Ian and Slarti's job"

"Geeeez" said the Lass "We had better be .................

The knot of my Aunt is in the garden, or anywhere else she goes.

When a Jab grows old and its pots grow cold,

And the tips of its prop turn blue;

 

When it bends in the middle like a one-string fiddle,

 

It can tell you a tale or two.

 

So pull up a chair and stand me a drink,

 

And a tale to you I'll tell

 

About Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

And the aunt of Eskimo Nell.

 

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Go forth in search of fun,

 

It's Dead-Eye Dick that swings the prop,

 

And Mexican Pete the gun.

 

When Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Are sore, depressed and sad,

 

It's always a Jab that raises the tab,

 

But the drinking not so bad.

 

Now Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete

 

Lived down by Dead Man's Creek,

 

And such was their luck that they supped on muck

 

For nigh on half a week..........

 

=================

 

 

And the Aunt did curse the bloody fires are back in the garden

"Oh HiHo" said the Riverland Nanna "Your poems really make a girl go gooey.

For your tale of the one-eyed Dick,

Really does the trick.

And make me want to multiply,

Because when I do my 2 times 2

People think I'm thick

While fiddling with your fly (for HiHo is a trout fisherman)."

Just then ............

'twas because all the muscat hadbeen imbibed that Kapitan-nostalgia

 

did reminiss of a time so long ago

 

that the Eskimo misses Nell and Nanna

 

did become as one in his mental blur.

As a result. HiHoslander lives up to his name.

"I've never been so insulted" said Captinious "Let me know the name of the solicitor that you use."

"It's me, and HiHo sure does "use" me" said Nanna "But I haven't had any briefs for a while ... not even cotton tails"

"And I don't know how Riverland'ly you all are, but HiHo is a poet and from my experience, all poets are great in the cot"

As a result, Ahlocks, who had a bit of a poetic bent (not that there is anything wrong with that) replied "............................

The pen of my Aunt, can't, write in the garden, oh ... it's started to harden .... oops, sorry about that, I beg you pardon.

Was it BigPete or the thong that is eminent?And do we refer to him as His Eminence? or HEP

 

Now let's see, with WGA-BB-WGA fuel, aunt and pen, how many bottles of Brown Bros Muscat did he fit into the Jab?

I have always considered BigPete as "His Emminence" and the BigCheese of the NES.

And to go with that BigCheese I picked up 2 bottles of BB's Limited Release 2005 Victoria Merlot, 1 bottle of their 2004 Patricia Merlot, 2 bottles of the 2008 Pinot Grigio and 1 bottle of 2008 Heathcote Albarino.

Let's see you beat that in Japan, Tubbo-san.

"If I have a few of those I'll be anyones" said Nanna.

"Ok I'll bring some down to the Chewka AAAA Fly-in" said Le Crap.

"If you do that .............................

The Pinot of my Aunt is in the garden, by the esky.

Me thinks the Crappitan doth misunderstand.AstoundinggraspofthelanguagePete was saying that his return will be very important.

 

Not that it is imminent.

Good point Ross. I'm wrong again. Geeez I hate those "word" thingys.

I thought he meant that his eminence is imminent.

...the return of BigPete is eminent. :big_grin::big_grin: my garden is small. 4 tents max.

Almost welcome back Pete.

My Aunt would like to reserve 1 of those tents in your garden .... and she says that all she needs is a 3 man tent (or maybe 4 if she gets lucky)

......... poor Donk....

"Don't worry too much about that so-called "poor Donk"" said Cap-tinny-ar*e "For Donk was staying in a swank B&B, drinking good wine & doing things with & to Cotton Tails continuously for 2 solid days". (And he has the same activities planned for throughout central Australia over Easter, the lucky dog-ious ............ which has resulted in a warning being arranged for all retirement villages that the supply of edible cotton tails could be at risk around that time).

"That Donk is a bit of a goer" said Ahlocks-sly-us "What's the address of the B&B and I'll sms my lbh, bst & bot RFS vol (vision of loveliness) and see if she'll let me make a mess".

"Hey Krapatainius! we could eaksnay ownday to oradintay while urbotay ansay is away and pinch his grape harvester for BBs!" cryptically commented LovaK (who was still lusting after the cute RFS lassie

Fear not ahlockius for the good Cap-tinea-us is riding down to Phillip Island later this week for the World Superbikes and will call by oraddintay and give Tubby-san's 601tay a une-uptay (and I'll also collectius his GKL for your use as a spare).

"I'm going to buy a set of those orange overalls, and a black tank top" said Nanna, and Ahlocks will be all over me like a RFS rash "But what about my .........................

My Aunt has been a bit melloncoly in the garden lately, but has started to come to grips with a pen-dulum or two in recent days

I'd like to see a Jab grape harvester

Here is one in action Tubbo-san.

25 tonnes to the acre, so they tell me.

[ATTACH]7267.vB[/ATTACH]

http://www.recreationalflying.com/forum/attachments/jabiru-users-group/6398d1233322105t-how-safe-jabiru-one-tough-bird.jpg

Help Slarti or Ian .... how do I get that link to work? ---Edit ... don't worry. the above will do the trick.

If you can fix that, my Aunt will reward you beyond your wildest dreams, on a blanket in the garden ... but bring your own cotton tails

(The Aunt's thin kimono, which had taken a belting in the last month, slid back to reveal.....Tokyo Rose!.)

That can't be MY Aunt, as she has been de-flowered (some time ago) and would just be Tokyo Rose Stem.

Meanwhile, Tubbo, who was off to Japan for Samurai training had deciphered the seemingly innocent conversation between the two Wagga Fliers as an evil plot to infiltrate the border of Victoria and steal the Secret of St. Milewa.

Therefore Capitanium can expect to see Tubb at Narromine with his hair pinned back into a poneytail top-knot, just like Shintaro ..... and he will protect the virtuous while being quick to slice the odd (not that there is anything wrong with that) Ninja or 2.

Sounds like the BB's private strip might be a suitable meeting place for the NES reprobates some time in the next couple of months ...... what say yez all??

My Aunt might lose what little dignity she has left, in the BB's garden. (Make a note in your check-list that we'll need to remember to pick up the sheer Kimono and cotton tails in case they get sucked into a prop.)

AhLockius is about to travel to Albury Albury, by road , for an overnight burny conference . (bloody CTA , the conference is actually at the airport )....However will take Marcus Captinius up on that trip to BB's to partake in the plonk!

================

 

Even slightly under fifties remember cotton tails...and not just Gwen's

"What's this" said Marcus "Surely you don't really mean "remember the cotton tails" and surely they are a central part in a slightly under 50's man's technique, but don't be tempted if Mrs AH wants you to do a Shervo impersonation in them" (take off my cotton tails (old joke) ..... and if she catches you wearing them again there will be trouble etc)

So the Aptaincay plans to aggleway his ingsway at hlocksaay when he lyflay past lburyaway omorrowtay.

If only .............

Citizen Ahlockius, the people's champion, will need some quiet time in the garden with the cotton tails when he gets back from Albury