turboplanner

Turbo was unable to assist Cappy, and had to be helped to a chair in shock after reading that hideous word used by Hitler, the scourge of Europe, who would .........

56 minutes ago, Old Koreelah said:

Plan ahead; the troglodytes who imposed Miles, Feet and Pounds on the world are rapidly fading from history.

Pretty soon a New World Order will consign medieval measure to the museum.

You should read the Megalithic Yard book on Alexander Thom. He was a Prpofessor of Engineering at Oxford University and  not only discovered the amazingly accurate measurement which was thousands of years old, but how it was carried in control sticks as far north as Skara Brae in Scotland, over many years, reproducing the same accuracy, and why it was used. I still miss the chain, and haven't seen one for forty years, but it was great for accurate fencing. A lot of the imperial measurements linked in with navigation measurements etc, or product handling by humans, like sugar bags, superphosphate bags, bushels of wheat and oats etc, in some case based on animals daily diet, etc but with the industrial revolution we have different ways of measuring, fork lift trucks, shipping containers etc. so we may as well get with the programme. 

.... be perfect for fighting off Sudanese machete gangs.The tag line could be “That’s not a knife; THIS is a knife” said Turbo with an original thought.......

........held his nose.

Cappy realised he should have changed his ...................

13 hours ago, Captain said:

....... Great Steak Knife Scam (GSKS), where the handles were claimed by the scammers to made from part's of Cappy's great, great, great, great, grandfather's (GGGGG's .......... he was a great bloke) ship, The Endeavour, and the blades from parts of Charlie Kingsford-Smith's Kookaburra aircraft.

 

These claims meant that most patriotic Aussies barred up at the opportunity to obtain such knives, but instead it caused Cappy to .........

 

THE BELOW VIDEO HAS BEEN SMUGGLED OUT OF THE TURBINE SCAMMER TRAINING CAMP

 

....phone Turbo to ask if this was a genuine offer. Turbo was torn between telling Cappy the confidential information and risking a leak at some future Gin Party, or "Holding the line" as they say in the Telemarketing industry. He looked out over the acres of factory; the logging division which dragged in fallen trees from bushfire ravaged areas, and the steel division which bought scrapped ship parts from Mumbai Beach, and he kew what he had to do; he ..................

......about to be given new Scammer training in such areas as not leaving the potential client (they are referred to as "clients" rather than the coarse "Victims") hanging on the auto-dial while the scammer ("Operator") is being hung up on, and using their real names like Gideon or Abraham or Jesus rather than "John Wadsworth" which is betrayed by the tortured English, and there was an excitement module, and also a spin off "Free Husband" module, and ............

.......an offer from a Nigerian teenage boy for a working Oil Well or just $20 US dollars for a a proposal of marriage from a Somali Amazon. he booked her a ticket on his favourite airline Ansett, the day before it collapsed, so no harm was done.

In those years there were teledexes which looked like mobile phones, and the very early message senders with not enough keys, so the A key was one stroke. Two strokes on the same key made it a B and Three strokes made it a C, so when bull sent his message asking the Amazon where she was, his message read "c wuge u, whis r u raw", and went on to say ............

Great News

13 hours ago, bull said:

Now we must give Cappy some sympathy and leeway for his shift key comments as He and ALL of the other NES contributors including the SRA Bull know that Bulls old Laptop went to the graveyard of 40fathoms deep and Bull has had his "new"satellite laptop for over 5 years now............it is the early onset of old man desease with the memory thing i think not sure maybe.......

......but giving the gin guzzler the Holy "He" title, referring to "ALL" of the other.... and then a small "s" Satellite and the computer dropping him to the non-personal "i" indicates his new computer is starting to pick up some of the bad habits of the old one. This is a common problem these days and many people believe this happened when Bill Gate brought in Windows Vista which in the farm equivalent would have been a stud bull fed exclusively on LSD. Not many people know that he had to phone Cappy to come and help him get things back on track with Windows 7, but then the nerds cut loose again making the software do what they needed in the working day rather than us, and it was back ............

.............like handles on saucepans; best to keep them away from the gas burner in case they get hot, which ..................

.......next Ghandi, peacefully agitating for a better world, and ......................

The Tea Chest Cappy had been standing on in the last photo before the lid caved in.

....and the full forces of McGowan Inc.

Faced with the need for action, the AUF members didn't quite know what to do; the attrition rate in those emergency takeoffs by the 10,000 members was 9,732 lying around in various sheds for circlips and other components to arrive from the suppliers.

McGowan ..............

....muffler brackets.

The AUF members denied this vehemently, the pedants pointing to the press always blaming Cessnas (which had resulted in the Cessna v AUF case in 2010), but now turning on other innocent aviation groups. This spaked cries of Group Bashers from the less gifted members who weren't sure what it was all about but were going to have their say anyway, but then the rhetoric shifted to ...............

.............put out a press release that CASA may be conducting Ramp Checks on random airports and airfields around Australia.

It was a brilliant move because within 30 minutes all runways in Australia were clear of aircraft, and ..............

...........very good CASA director who would have the AUF rebels sorted out in the first .................

....was selling extinct species using banned and illegal DNA modification cloning methods.

He'd already produced the three legged owl, sabre-toothed tiger, and a favourite; the self-catching fish, before ............

.......Isa.

Not many people know that Turbo owns these mountains, not for profit, but for the Environment and Climate Change. Someone had to clean up the trails of gin bottles which destroyed the pristine environment. So far he hasn't been able to afford Mt Everest, and it shows; just a trash heap of discarded sardine cans and McDonalds wrappers, shredded tents, boots, and broken ladders.

On the triptych there's nothing but fresh air and .........

........made all the difference because it paid for a trip to Alaska where Cappy and Turbo discovered a new liquid called Turbinium (c) which was ordourless, colourless, had a 100 octane rating straight out of the ground, so no need to refine it, inert unless the motor vehicle or aircraft or ship was fitted with a patented Turbinium Modulator, half the weight of petrol and could be sold with a handy profit at 30 cents a gallon. Cappy planned a network of "Big T" outlets/restaurants/pickup joints all over the country and was confident they would become the social centre of every town and best of all, Zero Emissions, so the EV industry was out of business and .....................

Cappy showing off the "Big T" infrastructure network:

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

The dog barks at you when you're going to do something wrong, such as crossing the polarity of the jumper leads. They're smart, those dogs!

Kelpies would tell you before you leave home.

......blue skies in the green machine.

Turbo was emotionally moved by OT's Grants Scheme, and had started growing green peas. His reasoning was that it might be possible just to pour them into the tank and let nature take its course. Then, after researching for a couple of days he found the $35 billion per year Commonwealth Aboriginal Grants, and started a new venture Turbulla Yallock Greenfulla Pis, Inc

The $40 million Grant to the Turbulla Tribe of which Turbo was an Elder covered smiking ceremonies, a flag in every town with a green pea in place of the yellow circle, and a network of Turbulla Roadhouses with the attached Nulla Nulla Kitchens selling Yams, live witchety grubs, abd "Turbo's nearly Live Road Kill", with the tag "freshly speared today"

The only issue was that the peas didn't ferment fast enough in the tanks, and ..........

Good story and good reminder to the rest of us to have a tighten up of checks and actually observe as well and point or look at an item.

"............Under the Constitution  of the United States of America, we are gathered here today to right a terrible wrong."

Of course we know he was referring to the wrong country, but the words were so nice, it seemed a pity to change them. What did it matter anyway,  they were here to get stuck into the Government. This was also a mistake because they had landed too soon (flared too slow and didn't hold off) and they were standing on the steps of the old GPO wondering why the Politicians weren't appearing. Years later in forums they would refer to the "day we met the politicians and won our freedoms" but the hard truth was that the only people watching from the steps were druggies and academics.

An hour later he was finished, and looked around expecting a huge cheer to go up, but everyone had gone off to have a latte at one of the hundreds of coffee shops. However CT was not at all happy at being branded a rabbit shooter; he saw himself as a Pest Auditor, and always wore a suit, and .......................

.......electric light system in the house  hut, but that clean air means he doesn't have to wash the Jacka and he can still breath in the clean air at 15,000 feet where he can see and avoid [avref] ...................

.......with sympathy, usually saying it was God’s Will, as well as....

..........."Dreams of a Flying Gin Drinker" [avref] and an attempt was made to produce a movie, but no actor could be found who could reproduce the pith of Cappy, or ..................................................................