turboplanner

Carlton side and Spaghetti Junction side.

However he pushed onward with the belief of "Lean left; Lean right" and this won him many .......

.........mitigate the tetanus by adding three drops of Ivermectin. Turbo used to feed Invermectin to his cage birds to eliminate worms, so he was a but surprised, but he figured a worming couldn't be a bad thing for the nightclub set.

Cappy's mention of the Russian Oligarch, brought back some uneasy memories for Turbo. He used to be an Oligarch too. Luckily, with prayer and treatment sessions from his psychologist Georgio Thanamopulos, he eventually began to lean a normal life, although.............

..........careless.

Turbo in recent times had been following the Macdonalds principle and hiring 14 year olds for much of the ground work in his corporations. They'd turned into a bitching, spitting, loud music playing mess, but the costs were down and Tiffany had said she was a good surveyor (and she was...at serving meals). When sent out to survey the springwater source (free water) for the just bull operation, She'd noticed some big sheds surrounded by high hedges and white painted fenced paddocks right next to the stream which was happily running down to bulls canning facility.

It was only after a social media campaign by customers saying just bull was P!ss, that bull rushed up to the brewery and .................

..........mixed in a Tasmanian Readymix (after hours deal of course) truck at Bulls, South Island Dairy Farm. (Turbo had invited Bull to the Spratleys and the prick had stitched up a Yoghurt deal for the massive Chinese market behind his back).

Luckily this was the Spratleys because Bull's other product "Just Bull" had doubled the profit of his prawn business.........................

........smut.

Like Ho Chi Min, Stalin and Gerald Ford, Xi had been educated at Oxford, and if there was one thing that made him screw up his face, it was English jokes because he never got the punchline and they would never tell him. The photo above shows Turbo's mistake, he was just about to be given "No tariff" status buy XI whan it slipped out. Xii turned and said, you getting Ingrish no XXXXXXX tariif now - we buy nothing, or grain from Potter in Russia.

Turbo sniggered, but ...............

Cappy looked at Turbo and Turbo said he'd prefer fish. So it started again; Turbo looked at ...........................

Just now, turboplanner said:

called in Onetrack to review the documents and as usual, the contrary little prick found an error  and it was the Sino/British Empire war all over again with bottles being thrown, windows being broken until finally there was an Agreement. They were just on the point of shaking hands when..........

 

 

 

Wuntrak's Homestead Paddock

On 28/03/2026 at 12:49 PM, Captain said:

..... the Tolles Stlait Isrands were conquerable in their own light.

 

Albo immediately appointed Chris Bowen as Chief Negotiator, Xi offered him 2 superseded solar panels and the deal was sealed.

 

In usual Turbo style, he .....

called in Onetrack to review the documents and as usual, the contrary little prick found an error  and it was the Sino/British Empire war all over again with bottles being thrown, windows being broken until finally there was an Agreement. They were just on the point of shaking hands when..........

16 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... then realised that One bin Tlack himself was a dull red ochre color from exposure to (decade after decade after decade etc (you know what I mean as there have been lots of 'em)) the prevailing WA windblown sand, bull was the colour of cooked prawns and smelt like that, or was it the Bone Bordello, and Cappy spent 6 hours a day in an electric sun-bed and mood control pod, with whale sounds and running water that makes him pee involuntarily every 40 minutes (sometimes like he used to when on a 7 hour cross-country flight in his ASW28 [avref but only GFA in relevance]).

 

So it was up to Turbo and Xi, who himself has a sort of dusky brown Genghis Kahn type of colouring, and after reflecting on the above it was agreed that Turbs was the only one that is still as anglo-pink as the day that he was born, even though he had ...... 

.....slapped as much tanning paint on as Trump does. Not many people know that Turbo was appointed a Generous Warrior by Chairman XI and even less people knew how much money it cost, and together they decided Chairman XI should proclaim the Torres Strait as Tolles Spartacus, part of Mainland China. Turbo did the press release and copied the US style where someone who was a nobody, presented himself as the successor to Trump.....and much tougher. Albo immediately spat the dummy in the dirt and said it belonged to Australia, bur XI cleverly pointed out it was owned by the Aborigines and had its own flag, so ............

.......and as Cappy searched for his grapes, a shadow fell over the verandah in the Spratleys where the Chairman XI, Cappy, Bull, One Bin Track and Turbo sat planning their next moves.

"Trump's giving me the Sh!ts" said Xi and they all agreed they were in the same boat; anyone who wears orange make up had to have some sort of problem so they came up with a plan.....................................

....dog, a common method of keeping warm in the freezing night which OT had shown him, because OT usually slept with dogs. Trump of course, a little sensitive, took it the wrong way and said "I'm busy trying to make a deal here!, how about sending an aircraft carrier th straighten Hormoos!"

XI laughed and said "Our carriers made in China, everyone starter button broke!"

Trump saw OT laughing ruefully and .............

.....Lotness I-land.

One track was positively fawning at the Great Man, and kept on selling, selling, selling WA, eventually among the bowing and scraping, inviting Chairman Xi to visit the Western tate itself.

The reaction wasn't what he expected.

Why? asked Xi, Pipple call me wi man fum ees!, shark it me, and that XXXXArriun Bon charge me to drink swanwater!!!!

Not many people know that XI's father mindfull of the importance of iron ore had sent youg Xi to study at the University of Western Australia.

It didn't teach much because....................

.......explain the story to Chairman XI, the cause of the American Civil War, how General Ulysses S Grant  deployed his troops in battle etc, but XI brushed OT aside saying "Yeh I read it one afternoon last time I was here."

Ot's face must have dropped because he was only up to Chapter One, and ......

..........Turbine Promotions Inc. has booked them for a 2026 tour up the east coast to Cairns.

This of course puts them into the heart of the Orange Fish and Chips State and Queensland Bitter herself.

Cappy was not brave enough to identify the person on the right of that cartoon, and we shouldn't disclose who it is, but recently he took Onesy in the Challenger up to the Spratleys as a trial and the photo shows Onesy in Party mode with XI. Or it did until someone from the Chinese Embassy came out to Moorabbin and cut Xi out of the photo with a pair of scissors after asking Turbo what he would prefer.

Earlier in the night Turbo mentioned that he was getting short of fuel and XI promised.................

.......Yardstick for teaching young bikies how tp enter corners with any hope of getting out and how to stck the parts trailer and camouflaging it, and how to do a pot change on the side of the road as well as ...........

.............ascerbic aim at Pauline Hanson when she started eating her fish and chips, or farm wrestling with Lidya, who was .................

.........avoid spitting on the floor of the House.

This came to the attention of the Speaker over time, and he spoke (which was his job) to the Labor Party recommending this skinny South American,whose nickname was "Snarler" Keating, be pushed up the tree.

And so it was that Snarler .....................

........lock up the royalty. 

This involved flying in to Sao Paulo in a [warning, non-recreational aircraft] DC3, which was OK unless it was raining, but they handed out plastic raincoats and Iced Vovos (c).

Not many people know that one of Australia's most notable Prime Ministers from the Country that includes the major city of Sao Paulo, was born in that city.               

His name was Sao Paulo Keatinodad.                                                                             

Sao's father had shot through pre-nuptially so he was a bastard.

His mother worked hard in the streets of Sao Paulo selling Sao biscuits, and made enough to take young Sao Paulo on a freight ship to Australia.                                   

Brought up on the dry biscuits, young Sau Paulo was very skinny and remained so for the rest of his life.  He changed his name and became a proud Australian citizen, Paul Keating, who never missed.................

A few years ago one of the better Victorian Planning Ministers was being squeezed out of office by a campaign of bullies against him, so Turbo took part in the below the line SM campaign. The sh!t was flying fast  when out of nowhere the Great Headkicker Himself joined in with eight words. The Minister was back in a landslide upset.

.........sneaked into the Bone CWA Rooms (Remember them, the CWA women always said "CWA Rooms" but they only had on pokey little room) and quietly  nicked a dried arrangement from the wall. Mavis woke from her afternoon nap and.......

12 hours ago, Captain said:

Once Charlie got the leaves dried out a bit, the ceremony was undertaken by someone who was obviously a very successful hunter.

Note the school teacher has ditched the shoes ready to join the guy with flour all over himself. This is a Bone Tribe man abd this tribe was the one tnat was always pointing the Bone.

"........always look to the front!"

No one there at the Bone International Airport that day can really pinpoint what happened first that day, but Herb left the Raptor in an arc at 700 feet clutching his 'se; the Raptor went nose up but the cunning bluehead quietly put out a claw and it levelled off on final. The other bluehead hurled its pistons left and right and the Raptor glid [Raghead ref] down to a perfect landing. The adoring crowd clapped, the Velcraptor bowed and then walked over and gave Chalie a good belt in the ........

........species which actually came from an AUF pioneer, Herbert Von Hinkler.

Herbert built a Recreational Aircraft on Mon Repos Beach. He didn't complain about the sandflies, he didn't complain about the Stingers, he didn't complain about all the turtles digging holes under his jigs and he didn't make endless posts about whether it was best to glue the wings on or bolt them on, or what was the best brand of dope, or how do you get dope off your wings, or is it OK just to have one main leg because they were expensive.  No, Herbert wasn't a grizzler, he got on and did it. The Bastard had migrated from Bone to Mon Repos - usually a day in Bone is enough, and it would strut along the beach then sit and watch Herbert building his aircraft.

It was herbert who realised these beautiful blue birds didn't have a species name so he wrote to the Queensland Museum suggesting Velcro, after the velcro on his aircraft's harness and Raptor after the name of his airctraft. The Queensland Museum got the name slightly wrong but The Bastard had a species like you and me.

Eventually came the day when Herbert was ready to fly the Raptor. He'd made a second seat for The Bastard, and early in the morning they both climbed on board and ....................

.......the formal Notice going up in the Bone RSL Dining Room:

"DO NOTT FEED THE CASAWERY

IT'S BEHAVIOUR MAY OFFEND

By Order

The Manager"

This led to a night of jokes  that ......................

Not many people know that Cappy and OT are fully qualified Psychologists; it's great to see their work on NES.

.......from then on just went street by street laying down one leg in the air and making loud noises.

Street by Street the Cassowaries killed themselves in droves; all except an old one, once a pet of bull's, known as "The Bastard". He ...............

.........silently marched down the rainforest street frontleft, backright, frontright, backleft, listening to the whip birds. Suddenly there was a THUD! THUD! THUD! as a Cassowary belted the crap out of old grandpa Schultz at No 5.  Ernie, a Bone identity came round the corner in his Land Cruiser. The SCATS as they were known flew up trees, down sewers, under hedges, and perched in Fan Palms (licuala ramsay).

The cassowary, who knew Ernie had been palm snitching because the tail of the cruiser was dragging on the ground raced down the street. Bad move, accompanied by hisses and growls twelve clawed furballs dropped on him. Within two minutes he was plucked.

The SCATS gave each other high fives or high fours depending whether the next cat was in front or behind, and they  continued down the street frontleft, backright, frontright, backleft, spitting at the whip birds.

As they marched around the corner into Alligator Street, slightly wheezing after the climb ...................