The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

If you've ever seen a lit up bull you know how hard and fast they run. On the Queensland Rodeo and campdrafting (Turbo used to go to all of them for the chicks) Meetings back in about 2017 they lit up a bull and it went straight through the CWA tent and .......

.... also a few of the CWA cake bakers/sellers.

 

It is a bit disrespectful for Turbs to refer to bull by the epithet "it", because as he well knows, this was our very own dear bull, as demonstrated by the lack of a capital "B".

 

Our NES occasional compatriot, bull, had been doing the same Rodeo circuit as has Turbo, and as mentioned by Tubb in his last post, possibly the same "Chicks", and someone (probably a competitor who hated bulls good looks and other charms) lit the stream of toilet paper when bull came out of the thunder box with the paper accidentally caught is the back of his stubbies, so there was action aplenty when the fire burnt all the way up to his ...... 

Edited October 7 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........horse stall. "Rambo" had never been ridden to the 8 second mark, and when it saw Bull coming with his fiery tail, he thought Bull had a new and painful weapon, so he put on a show of kicking, spitting and biting when Bull got on him in the stall but he decided he would be careful before jumping out. Then someone threw a bucket of water which put out the fire and Rambo was out of that chute like Turbo on pay night. He kicked, he clawed, he bit, but Bull had his knees in so tight it was like the Berrigan BnS ball...........................

 

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Then someone threw a bucket of water which put out the fire and Rambo was out of that chute like Turbo on pay night. He kicked, he clawed, he bit, but Bull had his knees in so tight it was like the Berrigan BnS ball......

.... in 1953, when Maisy Murdoch committed the unforgiveable, and unforgettable, public act, which still gets her .... 

Edited October 7 by Captain

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... in 1953, when Maisy Murdoch committed the unforgiveable, and unforgettable, public act, which still gets her .... 

.... elected as Mayor each year, and .....

[Captain]

The below photo has just come across Cappy's desk, relating to a separate criminal matter that was so serious & erky perky that I refused to represent the person involved.

 

But as a matter of interest, one of those shown below is our old aviation buddy & Wagga X 2 fairy AHlocks, when in his prime. I think that he is the skinny bloke on the left, because I know that Locksy gets giddy when sitting up high on the engine.

Edited October 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........the Country Advisor to the National Party. Most people don't know what the National Party is, but it used to be the Country Party, highly respected by people in the City, because it had a nasty side and would stop giving them butter, jumpers, and steaks if they started getting above themselves. Then we started eating chicken meat from Ho Chi Min City, milk and cheese from Argentina, prawns from the Mekong Delta, and lettuce from Guinea Bisseau.

So the Country Party came to town and bought Coles and Woollies, K Mart and Target and clothed everyone in cotton T shirts, Cotton Jackets, and cotton jeans. The quality was so bad that the knees wore out in the jeans within six months. Some people might remember the Turbine Marketing genius move to release jeans with the holes already in the jeans which stopped the Latte stigma of "Eau, your jeans have a slight hole in them" to the normal Country "Eau, do we KNOW you?"  The CP was riding high, but these changes meant that country people had nothing to do except shoot rabbits up at Darraweit Guim, Camperdown, Lucindale or Wandook, although the Deniliquin Ute Muster now fed the town handsomely where the Chariot Race each year brought in $30 million. The NES hesitates to let the Deni story out of the bag in case the Deni Wallopers do another raid,  but it should be safe with our NES readers. The Chariot race involves topless blondes standing on the roof of the Utes, steadied by two ropes down to the Bull Bar. The marketing genius from Turbine Marketing Corporation sent Denu Ute Musters into the stratosphere, when they hires CT Roads Ltd to build potholes into the course. People started flying their El Caminos, Silverados and Jimmys in from the US just so they could be a part of it, and another sixty thousand acres had to be cleared for attendees to do their "Circle Work" and hold the 6 BNS's, but we digress. Not all the country was as resourceful as this. RAA Inc was heading in the right direction at Narromine with aerial photos needed to take a photo of the vast array, but a self-opinionated committee member crapped on Margaret, who was the organising genius, and it never recovered...............

 

[turboplanner]

16 hours ago, Captain said:

The below photo has just come across Cappy's desk, relating to a separate criminal matter that was so serious & erky perky that I refused to represent the person involved.

 

But as a matter of interest, one of those shown below is our old aviation buddy & Wagga X 2 fairy AHlocks, when in his prime. I think that he is the skinny bloke on the left, because I know that Locksy gets giddy when sitting up high on the engine.

Not many people in Wagga Wagga would remember "Slim" as he was known then. He was Purchasing Officer then, when the Brigade had seven admins and two fairies. Ahlocks probably wouldn't want us to let this out but prior to the Wagga Wagga Fire Brigade Royal Commission, Wagga's roads weren't the best and the old Federal went through tyres like you wouldn't believe. Dunlop made the best tyres; you can see one of them in the photo. Tyres had become known as "Dunlops" in those days. Dunlop also made condoms, so of course they also, became known as Dunlops; Get me?   Ahlocks put in an order for the year's supply of tyres as 72 Dunlops. A few weeks later, the postie, Arthur Cook came in to the station with a carton,  clearly from Dunlop Australia, sniggering at Ahlocks. The story was around Wagga for years.

 

 

[Captain]

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Not many people in Wagga Wagga would remember "Slim" as he was known then. He was Purchasing Officer then, when the Brigade had seven admins and two fairies. Ahlocks probably wouldn't want us to let this out but prior to the Wagga Wagga Fire Brigade Royal Commission, Wagga's roads weren't the best and the old Federal went through tyres like you wouldn't believe. Dunlop made the best tyres; you can see one of them in the photo. Tyres had become known as "Dunlops" in those days. Dunlop also made condoms, so of course they also, became known as Dunlops; Get me?   Ahlocks put in an order for the year's supply of tyres as 72 Dunlops. A few weeks later, the postie, Arthur Cook came in to the station with a carton,  clearly from Dunlop Australia, sniggering at Ahlocks. The story was around Wagga for years.

 

 

And despite a concerted campaign, including progressively lowering his standards year on year, none of them have yet been used.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Not all the country was as resourceful as this. RAA Inc was heading in the right direction at Narromine with aerial photos needed to take a photo of the vast array, but a self-opinionated committee member crapped on Margaret, who was the organising genius, and it never recovered......

...., and even after Glenn McGrath begged for them to come "Back to Narromine", Margaret supported that with her body, her bits, her mind and her voice, which caused the SO AUF Committee Member said ".....

[turboplanner]

..........[words to the effect that]  "Margaret was friends with every one of the local FIFOS."

This triggered a fist fight among the Committee and the SO AUF Committee Member resigned by laying the President out. The details of what happened next produced so many posts on this website, that it was becoming a sort of "Hansard" of Recreational Aviation. NES writers find a wealth of material by digging into those archives. We can't identify anyone of course, and we can't...............

 

Update from this year's Deni Ute Muster:  It rained continually, and the Soft Top judge said "It was hard to pick a winner with mud all over the entries, so he had to hose a few down to get a better look. The circle work pans covered the Utes, no one missed the one BYD Tasman at the event and it was dozed through the fence into a Canola paddock next door and stayed there for the rest of the Muster.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..........[words to the effect that]  "Margaret was friends with every one of the local FIFOS."

This triggered a fist fight among the Committee and the SO AUF Committee Member resigned by laying the President out. The details of what happened next produced so many posts on this website, that it was becoming a sort of "Hansard" of Recreational Aviation. NES writers find a wealth of material by digging into those archives. We can't identify anyone of course, and we can't.....

..... say too much more about it pending a further legal challenge, however what can be exposed is that the Board were really .....

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The circle work pans covered the Utes, no one missed the one BYD Tasman at the event and it was dozed through the fence into a Canola paddock next door and stayed there for the rest of the Muster.

Because water in the battery meant that all fences within 300 kms became electrified.

This was a boon for the unaccompanied ladies at the Muster, or those with blokes that were too full to perform, as they could use the fences around the Muster to charge their appliances at no cost.

[turboplanner]

23 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... say too much more about it pending a further legal challenge, however what can be exposed is that the Board were really .....

upset about ................

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

upset about ................

.... the fisticuffs between Board members.

 

The AUF's bored Board members had often derided and joked about the way Turbine Industries conducted their Board Meetings, when TI described & justified them as "healthily competitive", yet here were the paragons of the aviation caper battering their Chairman/President into .....

[turboplanner]

Cappy's information about recharging appliances will bring back memories for those who flew up to the Murdock's BNS ball a few years ago. Seventeen flew up from Victoria and landed in formation in the Murdoch's vast bull paddock. This upset old Dad; as far as he was concerned the paddock was for bulls (not bull's, not bull's). Twenty five flew in from all over NSW, but they, of course never talk to each other, so the bulls had had enough by the time the last Thruster came over the fence. Then six South Australians came in, complaining about the surface.   The BBQ was on six big trees Johnny Murdoch had dozed together, the facilities were on the left and right billabong depressions.

And they were eating wild goat meat for the night. As usual for the BNS everyone was flaked out over the grass by the time the band, up from the City packed it in and went home. What most visitors didn't know was that out here, close to the outback a heavy dew occurred every night. By the early hours of the morning, the ground was soaking wet, and so were all the sleepers. That's when old Dad walked across from the homestead, took the live wire off the fence, and laid it in the grass ********************************

[turboplanner]

............making crazy decisions. Turbine walked away, and they had no one to belittle and blame, so they blamed each other. Who can forget, at the AGM where a team of dissidents descended on Canberra to "sort things out" The ring leader put his hand up to make the key speech, and as soon as the President had pointed to him turned around and said "Here's your chance Andy, give it to 'em!"  It has to be said that Andy,  was single axis, but with all that axis throws at a pilot including the rocking horse fall from the sky poor old Andy wasn't prepared for this, and we never saw him again until one day he confided in .....................

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Here's your chance Andy, give it to 'em!"  It has to be said that Andy,  was single axis, but with all that axis throws at a pilot including the rocking horse fall from the sky poor old Andy wasn't prepared for this, and we never saw him again until one day he confided in .........

.... Cappy & Turbo, as all 3 sat under the Coffs Harbour baobab tree outside the Coffee Club (as owned by Andy, but no discounts were offered), and this meeting made AUF history, because .....

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

By the early hours of the morning, the ground was soaking wet, and so were all the sleepers. That's when old Dad walked across from the homestead, took the live wire off the fence, and laid it in the grass ******

Turbo was one of the paralytic sleepers (not many people know that Turbo can be a real "player" when he wants to be) and the electrical kick resulted in Tubb having his 1st election in over a decade, so there he was propped up like a tepee and lonely/alone.

 

It was one of the saddest B&S experiences of that year, as reported exclusively and extensively in the magazine "B&S News".

[turboplanner]

.......Andy paid, and you don't see that very often. He then proceeded to tell us that a new group was forming called SAFA, (today with 3,500 members).

 

This was their promo;

"Take in a bird’s-eye view of the world, soaring with the clouds, carried high, far and wide on warm air currents, with the world laid out before you.

Experience the freedom and exhilaration of being airborne, chasing clouds as you’re carried high on the wind like a bird."

 

The emphasis was on clouds, and Andy had a fascination with them, and we haven't heard from him since, but now and again...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The emphasis was on clouds, and Andy had a fascination with them, and we haven't heard from him since, but now and again......

.... he gets sucked off his day-dreaming cloud floater, up into an overdeveloping super-Cumulous that often forms above NSW's god's waiting room, where Andy has a ......

[turboplanner]

....weekender. Living the Dream.

It being Bathurst Day, Turbo's note is short. The ******* Mustang is short too with a broken camshaft just as it produced enough power to win Bathurst, so the transporter had to be put away for another year. That's 10 in a row where something went wrong at the last minute, but who .................................

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....weekender. Living the Dream.

It being Bathurst Day, Turbo's note is short. The ******* Mustang is short too with a broken camshaft just as it produced enough power to win Bathurst, so the transporter had to be put away for another year. That's 10 in a row where something went wrong at the last minute, but who .................................

..... woulda thunk that a Chevy product would have a chance, what with a few genuine Toyota Supras in the field.

 

As occurs every October, the people gazing thru his boundary fence seeking a glimps of the great man, will hear Turbo rooting for the GM product and regularly looking outside onto the forecourt, where Jeeves will be polishing the 'Vette in preparation for Tubb's victory lap down and around St Kilda, where .....

[turboplanner]

....the competition is distracted at every street corner. Turbo had received a call from The Tower in Detroit to make sure GM won, and it was Turbo who gave that order to conserve fuel "in case something happened", but the little prick kept his foot flat nd then Dick hired a dude from Logan to drive one of the Pace Cars onto the track until the Fords caught up and the ex driver ran out of gas. Turbo has lodged a protest for too many brake replacements against the Ford Mustangs which will be heard before the next race, so GM should be OK for the season result, and if not ...................................                            

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....the competition is distracted at every street corner. Turbo had received a call from The Tower in Detroit to make sure GM won, and it was Turbo who gave that order to conserve fuel "in case something happened", but the little prick kept his foot flat nd then Dick hired a dude from Logan to drive one of the Pace Cars onto the track until the Fords caught up and the ex driver ran out of gas. Turbo has lodged a protest for too many brake replacements against the Ford Mustangs which will be heard before the next race, so GM should be OK for the season result, and if not .....                            

.... Turbs will pay somebody off at Supercars HQ and the Supercars dog will immediately eat the results sheets from the most adverse rounds of '26.

 

Just remember that dear readers, every time you see somebody in a 'Vette or a Camaro and they look down their noses at you, and sneer, that they are the types that would do that.

 

On the good-guys side, Crappy has funded a protest on behalf of the 1st of the GR Supras, as there is no way that 4.2623 seconds back from the winner, should deserve just 7th place, and that surely should be worth at least 3rd.

 

The final result is therefore provisional and will depend on Crappy's final offer.

 

Crappy has also nominated our resident expert on "cracks" to inspect all of the Ford chassis-es and to scrub those that match his Freightliner efforts.

 

Brad Jones (or Jonesy to his mates, and to Crappy) issued a scathing press release, which in part, said " ......

[Captain]

NES readers know and appreciate the way in which the NES always stays topical and on top of the big issues, as evidenced by the above posts.

 

No wonder the readership is growing at the rate of the Joe Rogan podcast.