The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......send them a live-stream. At the last minute thy both realised.........

... that such evidence might bring a UN sanction..... and while Turbs was used to that, and based on previous charges was on a 1st names basis with all of the Judges on the International Criminal Court, he nevertheless remained wary of the .....

[turboplanner]

.......risk, so both held on as best they could until Turbo helped a now distressed Khyber Culnun to the observation Drifter, which Turbo smartly fired up and flew over the valley where they were much relieved.

 

A few days later Khyber Tea Pickers in the Valley remarked on the foul smell of this years crop. Various officials came out to sniff,  aand one even...............................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

A few days later Khyber Tea Pickers in the Valley remarked on the foul smell of this years crop. Various officials came out to sniff,  aand one even.........

..... recognized the pieces of corn, which had never been seen previously in the tea crop, so the Taliban had the samples analysed. This proved definitively that the samples of corn, known primarily as maize, came from Darlington Point, and the killer definition was that there was some weepage on the samples identified as coming from a manky old war wound.

 

The Taliban immediately took up the issue with the .....

[turboplanner]

...........United Nations. For those NES flyers who live in Guineaa Bisseau or Fiji etc. The United Nations is a lot like CASA, except the United Nations decided to make money by telling everyone that the globe was warming (yes, Gavamound, it was a lot like Chooky Looky), and they only recently went quiet. The UN decided to take Turbo and the Khyber to the World Court. The Judge was so overcome by Turbo's humanity of flying one of the enemy away from where the Khyber's family could have been gassed, that he dissmissed the case and said they could both go free. Turbo asked for $40 million costs and got it, He asked for the same amount for Culnun who became the richest Khyber in the world, a bit like Pauline Hanson who ..............................

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo asked for $40 million costs and got it, He asked for the same amount for Culnun who became the richest Khyber in the world, a bit like Pauline Hanson who .....

.... is a little known Skippy politician who went to jail and ran a fish & chip shop. (Not many people know that).

 

"We all love Pauline, as she is true blue genuine, and a .....

[turboplanner]

friend of Cappy since her Marching Girls days when Cappy was the Orange Boy and ....................

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

friend of Cappy since her Marching Girls days when Cappy was the Orange Boy so ......

.... he and Pauline used to do stunts at the end of each march (& most other months as well) by copying the moves of American Cheer Leaders.

 

Because Cappy was a strapping strong young lad, he was Pauline's dedicated lifter, so he would throw her into the air and she would land on his shoulders, therefore Cappy needed to look up in order to catch her correctly.

 

On that fateful day that cemented their relationship, Pauline had forgotten to put on any .....

 

 

[turboplanner]

.......make up, ad a few people started to Hoot and Jeer. Not many people know that Cappy is just a softy, and he took offence, throwing Puauline up of top the nearest float which was the Bapists who'd been trying tto get into Wagga for years. They gave her a hymn book and puling sung her lungs out. The people in the street raved over her, and when they finished raving, they ran back down the streets to belt the crap out of the louts. Constable Doubtfire was on duty but holding back for the moment , she was incensed at the female insult one of the crowd had unleashed. We can't say who he was, but he worked at the Fire Station. After a while, Doubtfire said "What the hell, and tased the lot of them.

At the BOB that night Turbo predicted that Pauline had star attraction and would be a Politician one day.Cappy went even further, predicting ..................

[Captain]

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

At the BOB that night Turbo predicted that Pauline had star attraction and would be a Politician one day.Cappy went even further, predicting ......

.... that she and he would take up tasering between consenting adults, and Cappy right there and then started his chain of "Tasering-for-Consenting-Adults" (TFCA) stores, which he did not franchise .... he owned them all, except 2.

 

One was at bulls entertainment complex, as bull is a mate, and the other was next to the mosque in Moorabbin, where Turbo took delight in ......

[turboplanner]

.....tasering the Priests for their convenience........

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....tasering the Priests for their convenience........

.... and when questioned by VicPol, Turbo just explained that his yellow Taser was just a new range of yellow Tens machines.

 

The VicPol copper said to Turbo that she had a bad back and a Tens treatment had been recommended by her Specialist, so Turbo told her to lie down and relax while he dialed up the taser to George Floyd/ Mosque Priest levels and he .......

[turboplanner]

....zapped and zapped and zapped ......................

[turboplanner]

Turbo apologises; he zapped early this morning, but the zapper didn't go off........probably all that work on the Doubtful.

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo apologises; he zapped early this morning, but the zapper didn't go off........probably all that work on the Doubtful.

No wuckers Turbo, as "All that work on the doubtful" is always a perfect excuse."

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....zapped and zapped and zapped ......................

.... until the cute little VicPol copper ca......

[turboplanner]

......911. No one answered, this was Australia, and specifically Wagga Wagga where ....................

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......911. No one answered, this was Australia, and specifically Wagga Wagga where ....................

..... , just like the difference in the way the dates are expressed in the US, in the Riverina the correct emergency number to call is 119, but always take care to use the 2nd 1 first, or your call will be diverted to a scam joint in Vietnam.

 

The VicPol walloper punched in 119, but in her panic used the wrong 1 first, and suddenly a voice like "Hanoi Helen" came on the line and she say "Ten dorrar prease" and then ".....

[turboplanner]

........the  line went dead, the way it does when a Phillipino Hot Joc Phone Hustler calls for a donation for the Labor Party's expenses and Turbo says $67 million!

 

And that was the end of that. It was a Sundat night......................

 

 

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was a Sundat night......

.... which was a special festival on their religious calendar, and the Hindu god Sundat was looking down on everyone and enjoying the spectacle.

 

Sundat is the god of Self-Abuse, so the crowd were getting right into it, and they were .....

[turboplanner]

........starting up the music, when prayers started to come forth.

Cappy had failed to note the two tiny dots after the S, which denote devout prayer.

 

Everyone looked at Cappy in horror; some weren't even authorised for prayers, and in some parts of India that was a crime.

 

This was one of those parts and Cappy was one of those people. It looked like Cappy was in for years eating curried weevils three time a day. He ..........

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This was one of those parts and Cappy was one of those people. It looked like Cappy was in for years eating curried weevils three time a day. He .....

.... was however, as is often the case with Cappy, overcum with Sundat holiness, and had also developed a taste for maggots,especially frozen, after his time in a Siberian Gulag, because of what he did to ....

[turboplanner]

.......the Russians.

Older NES members will remember Francis Gary Powers and his U2 Spyplane crash.

As we know, FP as eating an apple pie and looking down at the Tundra when it burnt his fingers and he lost control. The US PR machine, as always, cooked up a story, in this case that he was shot down by the Russians. Of course the Russians told him not to come back and he faded frm history.

Not many people know about the brave feats of Captain James (AK) Cook who put his age up to join the Air Force at Kapooka, had already made 38 flights over Russia in his little Avid Flyer which was too small to be seen at 9,000 feet. He'd grab some cold sandwiches at Marjie's Milk Bar in Bayliss Street, grab his grandma's eiderdown and be flying ocer Stalingrad two days late, taking some magnificent shots of Russian bombers ready to go, and troops being trained. His box brownie shots are in the Australian War Memorial; you just have to ask for Captain Cook's Box Brownie photos of Russia and they'll find them for you. On one occasion when he was over Kazarkhastan, Cappy......

 

[Captain]

....., who had the Avid Flyer fitted with a 5 axis autopilot, with all the buttons pressed and active, so he was sitting back with his feet on the dash & fiddling with one of the hosties, who had brought him 5 frozen maggots + a cheese & onion sanga, as an excuse to ......

[turboplanner]

....butter him up. While they were talking, he happened to glance down and see 200 rifles held by Muidjarabeam troops pointing at him. He threw on the amazing power of the Bluehead, cleared a mountain and dropped down the other side. They were safe, and cappy made sure his moustache was straight before he ...........

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

They were safe, and cappy made sure his moustache was straight before he .......

..... turned off the special "Dodge the Muijarabeam" feature of the autopilot.

 

"Wow" said the Hostie "That thing really does crank (Turboref) up the G's when it gets to 90 degrees of bank, as my nickers have fallen down due to the extreme force that you used to dodge the Moodyjarahbeams. You are my hero Cappy, and I'd like to reward you with a ......