The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......turn brown, grow long teeth and.......

.... look like a brown Jacinta Ardern, but with less work done, and less .....

[turboplanner]

pay. Turbo shouldn't tell people this but he's just been successful in signing a contract through Turbine Personnel Inc. for Jacinta Ardern to come over and run Victoria for NZ$65 an hour. She gets her own "JA" monogrammed desk, pencils, jugs, chairs, suits etc. and is moving to Melbourne in the next couple of months just after the e............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

She gets her own "JA" monogrammed desk, pencils, jugs, chairs, suits etc. and is moving to Melbourne in the next couple of months just after the e............

..... jaculation of the current government, and just before she can implement a Dan-like lock down based on the dangers of AI and an impending Russian invasion. 

 

Turbo's negotiating skills have also secured for the next 25 years that Davos will be held at Mt Buller annually and that the WEF will be based in Wangaratta, where the .....

[turboplanner]

........meatworks will steadily dispose of the WEF bit by bit.

This was a novel idea but they've survived everything else at our cost.

There was another matter.................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........meatworks will steadily dispose of the WEF bit by bit.

This was a novel idea but they've survived everything else at our cost.

There was another matter.................

..... , and that was how the storyline of the novel would fit in with the political spin that Turbine Political Concocters were cuming up with, as Turbo saw the novel as a novel way to resurrect his Walter Mitty/Flashman character from his years Up The Khyber, which all ties in with his use of a Fargo style woodchipper ahead of the Wang meat works, and a .......

 

Turbo has always, since being a little kiddy, liked equine pursuits, hence why he is so unhealthily attracted to JA.

Edited September 24 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........product called MeatyCompost which had an aroma all of its own.

The meat attracted medium sized animals whichcame up to sniff then crapped on the compost, making it much more fruity for grown beautiful gardens which...............

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........product called MeatyCompost which had an aroma all of its own.

The meat attracted medium sized animals whichcame up to sniff then crapped on the compost, making it much more fruity for grown beautiful gardens which...............

.... made Tubb's Toorak mansion really look swish, and even brought forth tropical plants like Mangos, Cumquats & Sourdsop, without needing to resort to Louvre style pyramid glass houses, so Turbs repurposed his .....

 

Turbo the Architect, showing off the original plans for his green house, out front of his Toorak summer residence. As per the above, it is no longer needed and will be converted into a smoking room and massage parlor.

Edited September 24 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....forecourt with a palacious driveway and rosegarden seedlings sewn with MeatyCompost(c).

Here's a photo of the entrance and rose garden 12 months later. 

If you want faster growth just add .....................

 

Edited September 24 by turboplanner

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.... forecourt with a palacious driveway and rosegarden seedlings sewn with MeatyCompost(c).

Here's a photo of the entrance and rose garden 12 months later. 

If you want faster growth just add ......

..... more blended Davos attendees, who provide their own hot air and multi-cultural manure (diversity is therefore certainly the strength of the MeatyCompost(c)) and if applied effectively the roses will blanket the pyramid so that passersby won't be able to see all of the massage parlour special ......

[turboplanner]

.....offers which include floggings, requested by a certain C. Cook and ...........

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....offers which include floggings, requested by a certain C. Cook and ...........

.... paid for in cash and convertible notes by Joey Banks & Danny Solander, but then it all became compounded & confused when Carl Linnaeus von Turbine insisted on a packet of excise free durries and a masseurs that would be willing to subject herself (or himself [NTTIAWWT]) to that Turbine family quirky thing, where .....

[turboplanner]

....where Cappy nearly wets himself trying to tell NES the private secrets of the Turbine family, and which only ceases when Turbo threatens to lock the gin cupboard.

 

However that's secondary to this scary news today: Pakistani military forces have launched retaliatory air and drone strikes against multiple locations in Afghanistan, targeting what Islamabad describes as Afghan Taliban border posts and militant hideouts.  The source is Al Jazeera.                                                       

 

For those that don't know, The Khyber Pass is a historic mountain pass situated along the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan, winding through the Safed Koh range of the Hindu Kush mountains.

 

At the time Turbo and Cappy fought on "the Pass" the Pashtuns were being shot by the Khybers, who felt they owned the Pass.  They claimed the Pass was named after them, but Turbo went to Constantinople and researched in the Constantino Library and found the Khybers were full of it. They weren't Kybers, they were Pushtuns; pushy by name, pushy by nature. Turbo advises the thousands  of NES followers, that he has had a phone call from Islamabad, saying we were to standby for "the call" at any minute, so, knowing Cappy will be diligently reading every word  of this trying to find a spelling or grammar error; this his his warning also. (Turbo has already ordered  an XXX size unform for Cappy to be ready for tonight, such is the urgency), and .........           

 

[Captain]

30 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo advises the thousands  of NES followers, that he has had a phone call from Islamabad, saying we were to standby for "the call" at any minute, so, knowing Cappy will be diligently reading every word  of this trying to find a spelling or grammar error; this his his warning also. (Turbo has already ordered  an XXX size unform for Cappy to be ready for tonight, such is the urgency), and ......

Thanks for that post Tubb, and I understand the code of your duplicated words and targetted double spacings etc ........ but I am presently in a C130 halfway up there to sort it all out.

 

I had a call from Don, with Marco, JD and Pete also on the call, so it was great to catch up with them again, and they sent the aircraft down immediately to pick me up, because of course I was ready & willing to go.

 

I, like you, have devoted my life to service for the greater good.

 

Don't spread it around, but I am also with Walrus Team 5, so plenty of action is assured.

 

I regret that I may be missing from the NES for a few days but look forward to catching up once you get up here.

Edited September 25 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

I regret that I may be missing from the NES for a few days but look forward to catching up once you get up here.

PS - How's the old wound going? Still weeping?

 

If so, I apologise, again.

[turboplanner]

......and don't forget to bring up a couple of Scoop ball Scoops for the grenades."

 

We know the b*st**d just wanted to get up there to get the best trench, keeping the last trench for Turbo. That trench was always the one closest to the enemy, but hey, once a VC, always a VC. Turbo could handle it but Turbo was still grounded at Sydney Airport waiting for the Air India DC9 and .........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo could handle it but Turbo was still grounded at Sydney Airport waiting for the Air India DC9 and .....

....  .. sor y Tur   he rec  option  ere is ter  ble @ th mom  nt a d we are und r att ck fr m .. ..

[turboplanner]

.......to which Turbo's reply read  u      r a f        t  i  bar  t Sy f r DC   3 h ar jodhpur    7  m forgot rifle..........

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......to which Turbo's reply read  u      r a f        t  i  bar  t Sy f r DC   3 h ar jodhpur    7  m forgot rifle..........

Dear Readers ...... Cappy, a loyal mate, is near the end of his tether, as if he has heard it once he has heard it a thousand times "I forgot my rifle", "I didn't bring any ammo", "Tell me again that I did the right thing buying the "Vette", and here it is, all happening again in the NES in real time .......... but looking on the bright side, you don't get high-quality journalism like this in the AOPA Magazine, on Channel 9, or in the Hindustan Times.

[turboplanner]

We wait to find out why Cappy has lost his dots. Has he been shot? Has he been waiting for orders? or has he just cracked a bottle in the trench?

 

Meanwhile Turbo is in the air in the Air India DC9 which hopefully will make it to the airport.  He is in company with a group of NZ SAS troops, so if anyone hears from Cappy, tell him help is on the way, but we'll be stopping off at a Maccas, AI food is terrible.

[Captain]

On 26/09/2026 at 8:39 AM, turboplanner said:

.......to which Turbo's reply read  u      r a f        t  i  bar  t Sy f r DC   3 h ar jodhpur    7  m forgot rifle..........

 ..... and Cappy apologizes to you all for his delayed response.

 

You will have learnt via the MSM that I had dinner with the Pakistan PM and he straight away agreed to send a few drones over the border to teach the natives to keep their heads down.

 

(Imrhan Khan also said to say g'day to all his Aussie fans too .... and where he was shot is still weeping too, just like Turbo's).

 

After that we came under attack again up the Khyber and I have also been cleaning the latrines for the past 2 days (Wouldn't you think that a squat dunny would improve aim? Well, I can attest that it does not).

 

I look forward to Tubb's arrival and hope that he beings a Maccas scalding hot Apple Turnover thing for me, when he gets here.

 

Turbo's comments about AI tucker fit with my own experience and that adds to the ......

[turboplanner]

.......atmosphere; it gets boring just sitting there and fighting off attack after attack after attack.

Turbo arrived at lunch time with a big carton of Maccas apple turnovers. The kid was just about to throw them in the bin because they were well past their useby date, but Turbo thought Cappy wouldn't notice.

Cunning as a trench rat, Cappy watched for any sign of refusal, and Turbo had to swallow........

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......atmosphere; it gets boring just sitting there and fighting off attack after attack after attack.

Turbo arrived at lunch time with a big carton of Maccas apple turnovers. The kid was just about to throw them in the bin because they were well past their useby date, but Turbo thought Cappy wouldn't notice.

Cunning as a trench rat, Cappy watched for any sign of refusal, and Turbo had to swallow........

... his pride, but these Apple turdovers were much better than the Oysters that Cappy had to manage when he had just left school and got a job boiling the use-by dates off bottles of oysters at his local Fish and Chip shop. Some dates were even updated 4 or 5 times before they were sold, and some were even put in the fridge.

 

"The Kid" as mentioned above by Turbo, was the son of a local WarLord (The boy actually looked a lot like Turbo from his previous deployment, and Cappy thought it suspicious that after each skirmish Turbo, obviously slightly aroused, would say to "The Kid" ... "Now you head off home and have a good sleep, plus say Hi to your mum from me").

 

Now back to matters militaria, the Kid found that once Cappy and Tubb filled themselves with warm to scalding MATs, he could stick the remaining ones in the microwave for 45 minutes, then throw them hand-grenade style at the enemy, who could be heard running away, scalded with 90% burns and decrying Ronald and the Apple TurdoverBurglar, a character that Turbo had introduced outside of the Geneva Convention, in order to ......

[turboplanner]

.........confuse the enemy.

However Turbo had lost all intersest and was running for Shitters Ditch despite the air being fuill of flying bullets. Not many people know the US Confederate Soldiers suffered from epidemics of Cholera and Typhoid because they defecated in the streams they were drinking from. It was Cyrus B.Turbine who invented the ditch and plank process. The Greyss, still with the squirts, called them Shitters Ditch, and they spent more time there than fighting, which is why they lost the war.

 

This time round on the Khyber, the Pashtuns, although long indpendent from the British Raj, still chose Charles Wilmington-Smythe to lead them and he lost no time in setting up Shitters Ditch and painting the sign REMEMBER NEXT TIME LEFT HAND xxxx RIGHT HAND FOOD.

 

Turbo was sitting there groaning and thinking this wasn't such a good idea when there was a scurrying sound and a Khyber appeared twisting his legs. "May I use your SD", he asked. There are some things in War which are beyond just shooting each other, and Turbo invited him onto the plank. "Someone pinched a carton of Macca's Apple Turnovers" he said, and Turbo knew the rest. The Khyber SD plank would be full. The end of the trench disgorged over the edge of a precipice, and down below................

[Captain]

... was the Warlord's village, The Kid and his gorgeous Mum.

 

And yet, Turbo and his new friend were about to .....

[turboplanner]

.......send them a live-stream. At the last minute thy both realised.........