The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

Here, dear readers, is a peak into Tubb's manbag and there are a couple of things to note:

1 You can see his fake identity photo and DOB. Take no notice of those, as he needed to establish them anew because when he scrolled back for 15 minutes on the ASIC DOB website, it did not go back far enough, so he did not exist.

2 - Tubb must have had a particularly productive weekend as he usually has a pack of 12 Johnnies in that bag.

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

AI really fought me when preparing that photo, as once I nominated The Turbo Planner, it insisted on changing ASIC to A SICKO, ...... so Crappy had to push back hard on that.

Edited Sunday at 09:19 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

Turbo, can appreciate Cappy's difficulty in obtaining correct details of Turbo who subscribes to "Beat the XXXXXXX!"

He had a siimilar problem when entering "Captain Cook VIII" - the results were unmentionable and show why he has to change countries every couple of years.

[turboplanner]

.......n audience at an AUF breakfast barbecue. Grass roots flyers would gather round the fire asking to handle it and marvel. The big bruiser who did a put down of Turbo often,  starting his sentences with "I tort meself to fly.......and going on with the sort of talk you'd hear after a duck shoot, would look at the ASIC card with a faraway look in his eye, then pass it on knowing he'd never be able to afford one, the life of the party, who often came dressed as someone else, who kept his tucked into the band on his hat would tell of the night he took off in the Thruster and forgot to take his hat off, and ............

[Captain]

.... everyone knows that hats are the natural enemy of pusher props.

 

 But Thrusters don't have a pusher prop said bull 

 

"Oh crap" he replied "I must have had the plans around backwards during one of my dyslexia attacks, so we'll have to ......"

[turboplanner]

And NES readers this is the problem with recreational flying today. People have been so focused on not following any rules that their subconscious these days has been psychologically conditioned to be  fearful of making a normal post, that it's started to infiltrate the memory of perfectly legal (but rough) aircraft like Thrusters and Drifters and start to view them as Cessnas like the general public does. So much so that Turbo is thinking of introducing "This is your Aircraft (using the term "aircraft" deliberately instead of the Biggles "kite".)

 

.......back up." Cappy had never fully let go of his old Ford Zephyr MK III, just as Turbo's grandfather would smash the back of the Implement Shed out while pulling back on the steering wheel of the Fargo and yelling WHOA!, WHOA! you bastard!, and sometimes ...............

[Captain]

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......back up." Cappy had never fully let go of his old Ford Zephyr MK III, just as Turbo's grandfather would smash the back of the Implement Shed out while pulling back on the steering wheel of the Fargo and yelling WHOA!, WHOA! you bastard!, and sometimes ...............

.... the Fargo would even lift its tail and break wind, just so that Turbo's grandad would know .....

[turboplanner]

.......it had heard him. (Chrysler were good in those days, designing cute little things to help the crosssover from horse to horesless wagon), it took 150 years and towards the end you never walked behind a Fargo truck, it could lift you off the ground with its kick. It could even .........

[Captain]

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

It could even .....

..... beat Tulloch over 3,200 m at Flemington, but it had trouble over the jumps, and .....

Edited Monday at 05:19 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.... was prone to going down on its diff, so it was barred from horse racing and Chrysler had to brand their trucks "Dodge" (Not that they were Dodgy) but the horse era was over, and they were in the Dodge City era, just like Jackaroos [avref] are in the Station Bunk House era, and are often .............

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.... was prone to going down on its diff, so it was barred from horse racing and Chrysler had to brand their trucks "Dodge" (Not that they were Dodgy) but the horse era was over, and they were in the Dodge City era, just like Jackaroos [avref] are in the Station Bunk House era, and are often .............

... compared with the 1st version of the Subaru Brumby, which not many people know, were developed to avoid the U.S. 25% “Chicken Tax” on trucks, so they welded rear‑facing jump seats into the tray so it could be classified as a passenger car instead of a truck.

That type of practice is typical of the shifty tax avoiding nature and people in the transport industry (Turboref) whereas those in the mining & barrister legal caper always pay their fair share and sleep well at night.

In Australia it is even less known by the people, that there has been on the books a tax on Cats (meow not track-rattle) and to address that, Turbine Industries have designed the .....

[turboplanner]

..............Websites for Beautiful Cat Transitions set to solemn music and a story where you don't have to have your loved one put down, Just book Pussy in and you'll get a video of Pussy walking through the ornate door to PussyLand where Pussy is met by hundreds of friendly cats. Of course they're crowded up that end of the room because they know at the other end there's the sound of machinery and they can see out of the windows a fork truck loading skins, which in some cases belonged to their cousins.  Skin production for the network has doubled and these don't even need to be fed or ................

[Captain]

.... taxed, as after a lengthy battle in the High Court, skins were declared to be "non-cats", and without .....

[turboplanner]

...any bodies to count, there was no tax on them there either.

It was time for a trip to ............

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...any bodies to count, there was no tax on them there either.

It was time for a trip to ............

..... his local butcher, and also the pet shops around his area, as TI thought it one of life's great ironies if cats could be rebranded as rabbits by the butcher, and even more-so if they could be recycled back as feed for pet shop moggies, thereby repeating the cycle.

 

While some of our many readers might say "Erky Perky" to this concept, TI immediately won a Mextorian award for novel business practices, as formerly won by Mick Gatto & also as won by the bloke that imports the machetes under the brand name & distribution network of "Machete Kingdom".

 

TI took a page 2 full page advert in the AGE to publicize their success and also entered .....

[turboplanner]

........the competition for the "best cut" in the butcher section of the upcoming Royal Melbourne Show.

 

Some special news just for NES readers. Please don't tell anyone, because this project still has a way to go.

 

As the global warming era comes to an end, Turbine Advanced Technology has developed a recreational helicopter powered by a steam engine. As we know from history, first our ancestors burnt coal as it comes out of the ground, then they compressed it into briquettes so more could be carried on the trains. TAT have invented a way to compress coal down to mini-pellets TurbineSlugs (c), which are tiny, but contain all the energy of steam train blocks. Just for NES readers here a shot of Turbo flying the first helicopter powered by a steam engine. It is hoped ...............

 

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Some special news just for NES readers. Please don't tell anyone, because this project still has a way to go.

 

As the global warming era comes to an end, Turbine Advanced Technology has developed a recreational helicopter powered by a steam engine. As we know from history, first our ancestors burnt coal as it comes out of the ground, then they compressed it into briquettes so more could be carried on the trains. TAT have invented a way to compress coal down to mini-pellets TurbineSlugs (c), which are tiny, but contain all the energy of steam train blocks. Just for NES readers here a shot of Turbo flying the first helicopter powered by a steam engine. It is hoped ...............

 

Your Skipper hopes that he is not giving anything away, but NESers should please note the following when considering Investment decisions in TAT.

1. Turbo is a fine figure of a man, although as all NESers & trained pilots would know, his grip on the controls appear to be excessive, and you wouldn't want him to have that grip on yours.
    
2. What Turbo fails to inform is that his compressed coal also has a high percentage of compressed and dried cat poo, which raises the CV of the mixture to spectacular levels and does not require any fuel storage on the aircraft.
    
3. Tubb has developed steam which can overpower rotor downdraft, and this has other spectacular applications that are presently being patented. Stay tuned for more news.

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........the competition for the "best cut" in the butcher section of the upcoming Royal Melbourne Show.

Please note that Crappy has ignored Turbo's attempt to end the NES with no "continuation dots".

 

.... which they won, with an additional award from the Duke of Edinborough Foundation, that showed just how much the Commonwealth considered .....

Edited Tuesday at 08:13 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

Turbo graciously apologises for leaving the dots off, and appreciates Cappys......... kindness in helping out ............that's it (sh!t) now I need more ........................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo graciously apologises for leaving the dots off, and appreciates Cappys......... kindness in helping out ............that's it (sh!t) now I need more ........................

.... time to think of an adjoining story line that will thrill and excite the .....

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Given Turbo's flirt with AI to produce the above image, the result is quite revealing. 

 

He obviously sees himself as a young, firm & fit Gareth Hale (and BTW, where is the collective?).

[turboplanner]

When Turbo takes off that Biggles helmet and the flowing golden locks bounce, people stand in awe.

(There is no hand collective; this helicopter has a steam powered  eye reactive collective). Look up - you go up; Look down - you go down.

There's a learning curve though; Turbo sneezed yesterday and the bastard nearly threw him.

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the flowing golden locks bounce, people stand in awe.

And that, dear readers, was a major issue up the Khyber, where Tubb's golden locks not only attracted the hot chicks, but also made him a bigger target (particularly at night when his hair almost glowed) than when Winston C showed up and stood on the battlements with Cappy, strategizing about the next attack while standing in plain sight and both of us sticking a middle finger up to the snipers who were having a crack at us.

 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

There is no hand collective; this helicopter has a steam powered  eye reactive collective). Look up - you go up; Look down - you go down.

There's a learning curve though; Turbo sneezed yesterday and the bastard nearly threw him.

Buy TI shares, dear readers as this breakthrough invention sees Turbs level with Elon on the Einstein Personal Prestige Index (the EPPI), as the ERC will take choppers into the realm of everyday transport, as up until Turdy's invention of the ERC, only highly skilled and coordinated superflyers (avref) like Cappy could fly them with the precision needed for high level operations.

[Captain]

17 hours ago, Captain said:

.... time to think of an adjoining story line that will thrill and excite the .....

Excuse me Turbo old friend, or bull & CT if you are around at the moment, do you need help to concoct with a scintillating story continuation? As the NES, while rivetingly interesting due to the italics side comments, has stalled for 17 hours and counting ....

[turboplanner]

17 hours ago, Captain said:

.... time to think of an adjoining story line that will thrill and excite the .....

..................selective NES Readers which now include the Tonkinese National Recreation Aviation Association members who have decided to buy a Turbine Steam Chopper for training and emergency work.