The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the new Samuri walk the trail which has never seen a motor vehicle.....

.... due to the fact, ..... and not many people know this ....., that the Japanese have good melons, and take their Samuri histoly vely seliousry, by pleserving the ......

Edited July 28 by Captain

[Captain]

Just 11 pages to go to reach 1000, Turbo, dear friend, Turbine family patriarch, colleague, target, and best mate.

 

We'll be there by Friday fortnight.

Edited July 28 by Captain

[turboplanner]

5 hours ago, Captain said:

Just 11 pages to go to reach 1000, Turbo, dear friend, Turbine family patriarch, colleague, target, and best mate.

 

We'll be there by Friday fortnight.

The question is which Friday fortnight; I've been there writing a big post and EEN's there stretching the paper down at times.

[turboplanner]

........tladitions, like warking until you drop. There are Shrines along the way where you can get a meal, and a bed for the night - just like a Riverina Motel but without the trucks going past and Minties ...........

[bull]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........tladitions, like warking until you drop. There are Shrines along the way where you can get a meal, and a bed for the night - just like a Riverina Motel but without the trucks going past and Minties ...........

are only included if you spend the night with this fine specimen   .........but first you have to..............

[turboplanner]

.........be able to put up with the racket when she walks; it's like the old horse and buggy days with all the metallic clatter of the harness chains, and the steel wheels on the bumps, although her bumps are less likely to cause rattles. Turbo has always said there are places in Tasmania that the Mainland has never seen, and this collection of jangling  belly dancers is located deep in the heart of the Franklin. It is said that, Bull disappears into the wilderness down there for months at a time,and who are we to argue. Turbo has flown over it and seen the small airfield and the little shed which contained 4 Bluehead Thrusters. Painted on the roof is "Bull's Frights" and .................................................. 

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

like warking until you drop.

That's a tough but challenging tradition Turbs.

 

You must have a faulty key on your typwriter, as on my tablet your r looks identical to an n.

Edited Tuesday at 11:03 PM by Captain

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Bull disappears into the wilderness down there for months at a time,and

.... warks until he drops.

[turboplanner]

.......a perfect ark and the steel warking ball brings down a Bird of Paradise or Tasmanian Jay for roasting on the coals for lunch. (Turbo didn't miss the innuendo, but prefers not to be classed with them.) 

It happens that arking is getting harder these days with the "Save the Franklin" dudes picking off the Birds of Paradise and Jays with 410s while they smoke pot. As a result there are now only seven (make that 6, Bull got one yesterday) in the wild, but Bull says he has seen 17 Thycalines on his joyflights. Such are the Tasmanian breeding habits, they used to be called roughies on the Mainland.

[Captain]

... Where everyone wondered why some dopy scientist would choose to name these critters Thylecines when there is another totally different one named a Thylocine, which are also endangered because they are the source of the world's supply of Thylonol, so are milked like a snake and then despatched with a ball pane chisel, which is ....

[turboplanner]

.......quite painless, and pretty much like stalling on takeoff - you can see it coming but can't do much about it. 

Not many people know that the milking was for the CSIRO who, in the late 1980s, were trying to find a cure for spatial disorientation (the leans) for pilots who insisted they could fly through cloud.

 

The animals listed above should not be confused with the Thylacine (Thylacinus Cyocephalus) - The Tasmanian Tiger (or for the kids, Tasmanian Wolf).

 

Tasmania has many species named in this confusing way, the "Thy" being Latin for two heads (NTTIAWWT).

 

After CSIRO couldn't stop fringe pilots doing what they were doing, they experimented in the 1990s on pilots who were .......................

[Captain]

On 29/07/2026 at 2:06 PM, turboplanner said:

After CSIRO couldn't stop fringe pilots doing what they were doing, they experimented in the 1990s on pilots who were ......

.... sporting ponytails and were fringeless, and after that, all pilots with topknots (Samuri style) were admitted to the test group because they fitted in so well, as all of the CSIRO Johnnies and Johnettes doing the research were already certified A grade gold plated warkers.

 

Topknots on pigeons is an OK concept for efficient flight, but on fringeless AUF & Wreck Frying pilots, the concept was less than .....

[turboplanner]

successful.

That may seem to be a sweeping statement, but consider Bull for example flying his Thruster. With the sort of flying students you get in Tasmania the Thruster would be barely flying. Bull always picked up his students at the top of the valley, having towed the Thruster up behind the Landcruiser. The downhill flight was just above the trees and the landing was usually in the first paddock. Of course some  ultralight aircraft don't have a top above the fuselage; they're for short people but even if you're short, if you have a topknot you're f........................

 

 

Bull's Topknot style. 

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Bull's Topknot style. 

I'm not, nor have I ever been, an insinuator, and certainly both of these contributors deserve their privacy, but what (NTTIAWWT) was Turbo doing or contemplating (NTTIAWWTE) when he took that photo of bull.

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

they're for short people but even if you're short, if you have a topknot you're f............

....lying high (avref X 2) and not looking at all like a ponce. (Crappy had to mention that as he often goes the topknot/Samuri look in order to cover up his bald spot.

 

As a result, Crappy has registered (r) the term Combover Topknot (CT) and OT was about to introduce the CT look to the west before he buggered off back into the wilderness of WA, where it would have known as a WACT).

 

Given the Japanese escaped plisoner histoly of Cowla, the CT was all the rage and every cocky within 100 miles (many of whom wondered about their parentage when they saw an AI enhanced and colourised photo of Nobu) has a Japanese ute, a netsuke on their belt, a CT (and so did their kelpies) and a hidden version of ......

 

Here is the most popular netsuke in Cowla, which depicts a Board Meeting of the AUF, prior to the Canberra cleanout and the name change.

Edited Friday at 07:58 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

...................Gone with the Wind, where Nobushi and the others would pretend being Clarke Gable.

Talking about film stars and topknots the Cappy's local Paper Wagga Wagga Roots, which had a weekly story that started  ....."Back in the day"....... decided to feature Captain Cook. He didn't discover Wagga Wagga, nobody did really, but Cooks owned big sheep stations in the district, it featured the disappointment of the family when the current iteration sold up the farms and investigated in a cheap hamburger joint in a garish building employing kids as workers. Pub regulars can still remember old Arthur Cook rabbiting on about it. "He shouldn't have employed kids" Arthur said "they won't know what to DO!"

The story finished by hinting at the billions of dollars worth of real estate around the world, and Cappy's latest migration to Tonga where he could relax without town gossip. Of course we in the NES know exactly why he went there - we all saw South Pacific and the Tonkinese Liat.............can still see that perfect shape. Cappy forgot to allow for all the years and got .................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

we all saw South Pacific and the Tonkinese Liat.............can still see that perfect shape. Cappy forgot to allow for all the years and got ......

.... a surprise when he got there and asked her for a dance at the local Saturday Market, and she said "Erky perky, I don't want to do my grandpa, and I don't dance with wrinkly old men."

 

"But I'll do you a deal that not many people know about" he replied "So what if you go ......

[turboplanner]

"....to the local Turbine OffShore Beauty Clinic, and for US$57 have hair regrowth punches to the scalp, surgical wrinkle removals, the beer gut deflated, the rolls of fat removed those legs slimmed down and the toenails cut."

 

She hit him with a four pound Coral Trout...............................

 

(For long term NES readers, a daily flight of fat for Turbine Cat Farms supplies the cats or the rats, depending which has run out of the other's carcases)

 

[Warning: deceased animals were referred to in this post]

[Captain]

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

She hit him with a four pound Coral Trout........

.... that had proven positive to ciguatera.

 

"I think that she doesn't like me" Cappy said to bull, who had fallen asleep, gone off course chasing prawns and had pulled into Vava'u harbour for a sleep and a wark.

 

dont worry skipper said bull as we can get on the turps together here and have such fun that we wont need to look at the nes for a fortnight and that means that turbs will be up in .....

 

cappy now likes to type using the bull school as leaving out all capitals and punctiliation means that one saves a quarter of the required key strokes. bull is onto something.

Edited Saturday at 11:40 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Queensland writing the above stories about flying the Cape in a Rotary Engine Drifter, and what to do when it stops and stuff,  and just enjoying the serene jungle butterflies and Pina Coladas  at Mission Beach where..........................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........Queensland writing the above stories about flying the Cape in a Rotary Engine Drifter, and what to do when it stops and stuff,  and just enjoying the serene jungle butterflies and Pina Coladas  at Mission Beach where.....

..... Pina is the top barmaid at the Mission Beach pub.

 

" I am Spanish" said Pina when bull tried to chat her up "And my brother Jose Coladas is the bouncer, so watch your p's and q's."

 

i dont use ps or qs replied bull, and he .......

 

Is any NESer able to advise why Turbs has gone to the trouble to specifically mention "a Rotary Engine Drifter" in his above magnificent post, as I thought, as a mere simple engineer and barrister that all engines rotate .... unless seized.

 

 

MODERATOR 13 - We note the excessive use and wastage of dots/full stops in the TurgidPlonker's last post, and this needs to stop fully. Disciplinary action will be discussed at the next full meeting of the Moderratti.

Edited 23 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........proved it by demostrating there and then in the Beer Garden of the Tonkinese Raffles. Glasses went flying as patrons rushed upwind.

The Tonga Fire Brigade arrived and a hose was soon spraying all over..

 

"We asked Turbo to talk about the Rotary engined Drifter to stop people picking on Foxhunter. Mind they all sounded like the same person, but hey, we need people to write about flying at Foxhunter's level of knowledge. He had us in stitches at the Moderators' Meeting a few days ago." T26, Mod 4.

 

"Moderator 13; we've kept it at two, just in case there's more bold font"

 

 

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.... Glasses went flying as patrons rushed upwind.

The Tonga Fire Brigade arrived and a hose was soon spraying all over .....

..... bull, who had been setting records for noise and strength since he was at kindy.

 

i know said bull and miss wilson reckoned that something had crawled up there and died, even when i was only 6.

 

that scars a boy/man dont ya know and also contributes to why bull cannot get or keep a crew on the trawler as if he lets fly he can scorch the prawns before they are frozen and who wants to be at sea for weeks with someone like that so bull pledged to make a conscious effort to .....

[turboplanner]

.....1. Go before he went.  2. stop playing that horrible music. 3. Hose the Trawler down every fifth trip without fail. 4. ....................

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....1. Go before he went.  2. stop playing that horrible music. 3. Hose the Trawler down every fifth trip without fail. 4. ...

 

.....Not say "Hey everyone, get a wiff of this" because while bull could also be silent but deadly (another reason why he was drummed out of the Submarine Service ..... and also from conducting confessions in his church over a long day .... as many parishioners had said the would rather donate $20,000 to Peter's Purse, than stay in a confined space with bull and his diabolical phlat.....