turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 .......oriental touch. Turbo, OT and Cappy were very nervous about where this was going. Two black eyes, scraatches all over his face wouldn't go over all that well in China ...................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 (edited) 3 hours ago, turboplanner said: .......oriental touch. Turbo, OT and Cappy were very nervous about where this was going. Two black eyes, scraatches all over his face wouldn't go over all that well in China ................... ..... so they contained their usual aggression, short fuses and their "All for one and One for All" mantra. This was a time to add diplomacy to their usual UFC Cage Match approach to international relations, so they invited Xi, Doubty, Nob and the other girls for a Thai feed up the main drag in Moorabbin, where they could have an entre taking on the local Machete Gang, and then ...... Edited July 9 by Captain
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 ........put up a dart board with Trumps face on it. Chairman Xi had never has as much fun in his life. They'd forgotten all about Doubtfire, and the sudden flow of bodies being propelled through the air [avref]....................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 4 minutes ago, turboplanner said: ........put up a dart board with Trumps face on it. Chairman Xi had never has as much fun in his life. They'd forgotten all about Doubtfire, and the sudden flow of bodies being propelled through the air [avref].................... .... as it was just the usual Moorabbin night out, and Xi was hooking in with the best of them. It was OT who expressed the initial concern, as while he was enjoying the mayhem and was hitting them as quickly as Tubb and Cappy could grab them, he had never been in the wilds of Vicmanistan before, but had read horror stories about ......
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 ...........the Friday night rush for the Big Pizza and ...............................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 4 minutes ago, turboplanner said: ...........the Friday night rush for the Big Pizza and ............................... ..... the cutting implements used to do the slicing of the pizza. There are no circular pizza cutters in Mextoria as they use machetes and have developed a flourishing pizza cutting procedure that may have cultural significance in 100 years, when all Melbournistan natives will wear a machete proudly, like a Gurkha and his kukri. This is evidenced by the amount of pizza splatterings around the machete bins and the fact that ....
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 ...........no one acts up if they see an arm or a leg in it. In fact ............
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 19 minutes ago, turboplanner said: ...........no one acts up if they see an arm or a leg in it. In fact ............ .... that old tourism moto "You'll love every piece of Victoria" has come true, except that the pieces involve various extremities and ......
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 a few bones. In this case the bones had a voice and it was aimed at Turbo, who had brought XI into it. Turbo did a Khyber, leaving Cappy, OT and Xi to face the music (or in this case Doubtfire), and OT stood up to her. Doubtfire was confused for the second it took OT to get into road gear, and she turned on Cappy who................................. The saying "doing a Khyber" comes from that intensive war where a British soldier could be facing 30 Khybers. The only way of escaping was to slide down the near vertical which led to that other term "Shortass".
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 5 minutes ago, turboplanner said: The saying "doing a Khyber" comes from that intensive war where a British soldier could be facing 30 Khybers. The only way of escaping was to slide down the near vertical which led to that other term "Shortass". But sometimes the Khybers weren't as dangerous as the Pommy Officers.
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 6 minutes ago, turboplanner said: and OT stood up to her. Doubtfire was confused for the second it took OT to get into road gear, and she turned on Cappy who...... ... embraced the opportunity and .....
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 .......the opportunity sank its claws into his arm, twisted it round until he fell, then shoved her knee into his neck in the classic neck arrest of the outback cop. Cappy ripped his knee up and Doubtfire catapulted into XI, put both arms around his neck and ................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 10 hours ago, turboplanner said: Cappy ripped his knee up and Doubtfire catapulted into XI, put both arms around his neck and ........ .... he swooned, as not many of his conquests were actually voluntary, so this was a rather unique experience, particularly as she still had blood on her teeth from munching on Cappy's arm. And she is a Ranga Skippy White Eyes (RSWE) too, so an outstanding opportunity to explore whether ......
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 ......XI liked dim sims or flied lice; Xi had been expecting an entirely different question, and he became confused, and pushed her away. As regulars at the BoB know, nobody rejects Doubtfire; it might be a roadworthy check, speeding fine, or drug arrest.........but she'll get you. Spitting with anger, .........................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 1 hour ago, turboplanner said: ......XI liked dim sims or flied lice; Xi had been expecting an entirely different question, and he became confused, and pushed her away. As regulars at the BoB know, nobody rejects Doubtfire; it might be a roadworthy check, speeding fine, or drug arrest.........but she'll get you. Spitting with anger, ... ..... she noted that the Chinese navy had recently circumcised Australia, but he was not, so she took out her trusty 1st Nations oyster shell, complete with certificate of authenticity and tiny dot painting, she lit a gumleaf and welcomed Xi to OZ, then flashed the oyster shell and said "Drop 'em Xi, old mate, and by the power vested in me by the NSW Walloper's Association I'm about to take a sample of your ......
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 .......breath for analyis. Do you have a driver's licence? Poor old XI had been shielded from these necessities in China, and jumped behind OT for protection. OT being from WA, wasn't fast enough to ..............................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 3 minutes ago, turboplanner said: .......breath for analyis. Do you have a driver's licence? Poor old XI had been shielded from these necessities in China, and jumped behind OT for protection. OT being from WA, wasn't fast enough to .............................. ..... act initially, as WA is owned by China too and he was just waiting for instructions of what to do, via the chip (electronic not potato) that had been planted in all WA citizens when they had their indoctrination course and chip fitting, then their memories erased (like Men-In-Black, but in WA they are Men-In-Ochre). "Protect the Prez" was the message that came via the chip, and OT moved like a combination of Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis & Sylvester Stylone (back then in their primes, not now), and stood erect (although it has been a while) between Doubty and Xi, ready to .....
turboplanner Posted July 9 Posted July 9 .......defend his Leader. A few dissidents put him down last week and threw sand in his face, but not many people know he lost his parents in a car crash when he was three, and had to fend for himself. At nine he joined Pug Hancock, a professional boxer who had his own Show Tent and a Team of Boxers. He'd go around all the shows, aand ring the bell to get luckless shearers to take on his gleaming warriors for a few dollars. It wasn't easy for OT out on the road and Pug taught him how to defend himself. At 13 he was so vicious, they decided to put him in the ring taking on all comers. In 7 years of boxing he was never beaten, and in fact none of his fights lasted more than 3 minutes and the local doctors made a lot of money. Pug bought a Cessna 172 with the money and flew OT from show to show, marvelling at the beautifull red hills. He commented on this one day and OT said "That's the Iron Ore!!!!" Pug slipped back to Perth, pegged half of WA, and gave OT fifty bucks. This then was the person facing Doubtfire. She ripped her gins off; OT said "Taser too". She stared that devastating stare at OT but his demeanor didn't change. He didn't.....................
Captain Posted July 9 Posted July 9 7 minutes ago, turboplanner said: This then was the person facing Doubtfire. She ripped her gins off; OT said "Taser too". She stared that devastating stare at OT but his demeanor didn't change. He didn't....... .... mind being Tased after using that to wake himself up after the erotic-asphyxiation techniques that had worked so well for him and which he had passed on to Michael Huchins. OT tore open his CAT T-shirt (exposing the chip insertion scar above his left clavicle) and Doubtfire aimed at his magnificent .....
Captain Posted July 10 Posted July 10 20 hours ago, Captain said: OT tore open his CAT T-shirt (exposing the chip insertion scar above his left clavicle) and Doubtfire aimed at his magnificent ..... ..... mammary papilla, which for some reason only found in the WA gene pool, his right one is much bigger than his left, so that is where Doubtfire concentrated her aim. In the meantime, Nobu was standing around like a spare AUF member in an NES story, and he thought that Doubty was ......
Captain Posted July 10 Posted July 10 (edited) 1 hour ago, Captain said: .... that is where Doubtfire concentrated her aim. ..... Most of our readers would know, so it will not be lost on them, that in Doubtfire's sights, OT's auriola looks uncannily similar to Tubb's freckle in the dim light of a Khyber evening, when I plugged him with my Three-O all those years ago. Ahhhh the memories .... or in Doubtfire's case, Ahhhhh the mammarys. Edited July 10 by Captain
turboplanner Posted July 11 Posted July 11 .........a hot chick (Anyone living in a tunnel under the Cowra Prisoner of War Camp site leading to the kitchen of the Cowra War Gardens probably would), and this was to be his undoing because Doubtfire was in that Mood common to all cops when they decide someone's guilty. A smile is taken as a smirk and the baton comes out, and now anyone could tell that Nob was about to get a flogging. Bowing would not be a smart thing to do.......which he did, and Doughtfire belted him round the ears and kicked .......................
Captain Posted July 11 Posted July 11 8 hours ago, turboplanner said: A smile is taken as a smirk and the baton comes out, and now anyone could tell that Nob was about to get a flogging. Bowing would not be a smart thing to do.......which he did, and Doughtfire belted him round the ears and kicked ...... .... him when he was down, something Doubty leant from her training with the West Midlands Police. But just as Nobu went down, and Doubty was about to finish him off, the Japanese Ambassador rushed between them. "Prease don't hit him any more Cuntstable" he said "As we have just rearnt that Nob's time in Cowla, + his time constlained UG cooking for the Japanese lestaulant in the Cowla Gardens, prus his time stuck in OZ ever since, means that he has been fighting WWII for even ronger than Shoichi Yokoi who gave up in 1972 (a piddring effort I'm sure you will aglee), and now here is Nobu still an unlereased POW in OZ in 2026, so Nob's gunna be a helo when he gets home". "But I don't wanna go home" plotested Nobu, while surrounded & arm-in-arm with about 50 Cowla grandmas, many still with a glint in their eyes, so the Ambassador just .......
turboplanner Posted July 11 Posted July 11 ........bowed to the Grandmas, then turned back and said "But you should see the grandmas back home, and they" (switching to a whisper) "......................................". Nobushi instantly bowed to the Ambassador, and said "I coming home!, how is mator of Hiroshima?" The Ambassador ................
Captain Posted July 12 Posted July 12 1 hour ago, turboplanner said: ........bowed to the Grandmas, then turned back and said "But you should see the grandmas back home, and they" (switching to a whisper) "......................................". Nobushi instantly bowed to the Ambassador, and said "I coming home!, how is mayor of Hiroshima?" The Ambassador ................ ..... said that the Mayor had actually died of old age, but rather than be slightly morose, he would much prefer to speak about how creative Japanese grandmas can be on a 1st date. "No wuckers" said Nobu "Let's build a spreadsheet and I'll fill in (Freudian slip) what the Cowla grannys can do and you fill in what the old girls are capable of at home, but let me warn you, Mr Ambassador, that once compared and rated, you might want to rook at moving the Embassy out here and partaking of the bounteous.....
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