The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....sawn off...................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.... sawn off ....

..... , which is a particularly cruel term to use to describe a height challenged person, but being a bit stumpy is ....

Edited July 7 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......a bit like OT, a superlative bull dozer driver, but not tall enough to get into a Cat D11T........nttiawwt.

 

Turbo had been referring to the big grove of Murray Pines at The Grong whih used to be very handy for .....................

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo had been referring to the big grove of Murray Pines at The Grong whih used to be very handy for .....

.... parking up whenever Turbs was lucky enough to locate a Grongy Chic (the mythical GC) who was willing to go down .....

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....a bit like OT, a superlative bull dozer driver, but not tall enough to get into a Cat D11T........nttiawwt.

However OT, ever the WA inventor extraordinaire, carries a carbon fiber stepladder of his own unique design which enables him to do some quite tall stuff, sufficient that he always checks the colour of his fingernails for hypoxia (after scraping off the Cat brand grease and WA sand-based grime).

[turboplanner]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

.... parking up whenever Turbs was lucky enough to locate a Grongy Chic (the mythical GC) who was willing to go down .....

........to the Grongy store to get some fish and chips and  they'd watch the stars come out. Turbo shed a tear when he flew over the scarred landscape.                                                                        The pothole run finished at Parkes, so Turbo had time to drop in to the magnificent Cowra Airport. Some say it's picture perfect because it was built built by the Japanese Prisoners in WW2. Nobushi had told Turbo that, but he also said he had king hit General Macarthur, so you never knew when to believe him. He told Turbo they'd built a small Tori Gate in the southeast corner. After parking the C210 near the Hars shed, he walked to the corner and sure enough there it was with a small carved plaque sayins "XXXX THE GUARDS" and signed "Nobushi Sugatao."     

When he got back he found a tall old guy with an oil can working on the 210's aileron hinges.

"When do we have to start rebuilding this one?" he asked, and Turbo had to bite his tongue.

The old guy gave him a tour of the HARS collection, attack helicopters you had to be double jointed to get into  ("Mostly they didn't get out of them"), the surveillance aircraft that searched for MH370 (with hand over mouth, "The Captain sold it to Punjab Airlines and everyone was given a free tour of India and a free ticket home if they shut up about it." and so on. Turbo had to stay the night in a Motel and leave the next morning - they don't make too many like that old guy and ..................     

[Captain]

..... Turbo hopes to be just like him when he is over 50.

 

Because Turbo is my best mate, I have bought him a full set of C210 aileron hinges off ebay, as the Chinese manufacturer certifies that they meet or exceed all Australian, US, Boeing and Airbus standards, so they will .....

[turboplanner]

........never fail, although.................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........never fail, although.................

.... that cynical response undervalues the worth of present day Chinese manufacturer certification.

 

Crappy recently bought 6 outside lights that were Chinese certified to be IP65 dust and waterproof, which leaked during the 1st heavy dew, but I am certain that aviation hinges would be manufactured to a higher standard, although nobody recognizes the approval numbers that have been quoted for those National and aircraft manufacturer's standards .... but I'm sure they will be OK, although my standard limit of Liability and Warranty clauses do apply, especially the one that says "If Turdy has a big one it's nothing to do with me."

 

Just then, Nobu must have walked past a computer on his way to Ninja practice, as I received a message which said "G'day Clappy. Prease add to the NES that I did not say "XXXX the guards" as leported by Turdy. What I actuarry said was "XXXX the XXXXs" and when they heard that they ......

Edited July 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"........opened fire, and that what caused us to run into lane to get to Bathurst and machine guns got 241. Dey nebba commit suicide, just ran wlong way. 

Elosion now taken red dirt away, opened up Japanese tunnel where we live for 30 year. Can see end of tunnel from load. Other end of tunnel next to Japanese Garden Cafeteria; we feed on cully and lettuce sandwiches or hot buttered scones with Ratte or Rong Brack for YEARS! Hahah har ....................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

".... opened fire, and that what caused us to run into lane to get to Bathurst and machine guns got 241. Dey nebba commit suicide, just ran wlong way. 

Elosion now taken red dirt away, opened up Japanese tunnel where we live for 30 year. Can see end of tunnel from load. Other end of tunnel next to Japanese Garden Cafeteria; we feed on cully and lettuce sandwiches or hot buttered scones with Ratte or Rong Brack for YEARS! Hahah har ....

.... , and on reading that, Cappy wondered whether Nobu had spent some time in India .... or in Tarneit (NTTIAWWT).

 

However, as it turned out Nobu (known as The Nob to his mates) was just ....

 

All NESers are reminded that sometime soon we need to zip back up and look after Doubtfire who is exposed.

[turboplanner]

.......interested in rescueing Doubtfire who was no mood for small talk or Nobu's jokes.

 

"You XXXXXXX ........................

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......interested in rescueing Doubtfire who was no mood for small talk or Nobu's jokes.

 

"You XXXXXXX .....

.... " said Nobu when he leant that Doubtfire was again claiming precedence in the NES, and let me tell you, Dear Readers, that the "XXXXXXX" word used by Nobu is prohibited for use in polite Japanese society (although it was used off mike by the Mayors of Hiroshima & Nagasaki) and even the Yakuza think that it is crass and ......

Edited July 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........would never be caught using that sort of language, but it is what it is, and Nob refused to take it back (although not quite as bad as Albo's "shag" comment this week.) Turbo has stood under the hypocentres of Hiroshima, (where he heard a B29 and looked up in panic at a seabird),and Nagasaki where a glass museum holds 2 storey high stacks of paper which contain the life story of every person who died. About 500 school children were there singing a hymn. Then they descended on Turbo and asked him his feelings. He almost said "Never swear" but at the last minute changed it to "We must never let this happen again." He knew that the teacher knew about the Mayors and had just saved himself from an incident. He could almost see 9/10 with a question mark in the teacher's eyes. Nobu was a problem when he started; you couldn't shut him up. He was trained in the "no return" Zero school and he just got louder and louder until................

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Nobu was a problem when he started; you couldn't shut him up. He was trained in the "no return" Zero school and he just got louder and louder until................

..... he became aware of Albo's 2nd indiscletion where he spoke dislespectfurry about the Japanese PM's merons.

 

"I'm shocked and appaured" said Nobu "Although I must confess that they aren't bad and better than a few Aussie chicks from Cowra who got them out when they fell in rove with me due to Stockholm Syndlome ............ but for Arbonese (the XXXXXXX) to say that about our new Plime Minister was way beyond the pale and he should ......

[turboplanner]

".....retract it for once, or face kamikazi attack!" And with that he pulled out a white headband with a splash of his blood soaked into the centre. Turbo knew thay had to do something fast to stop him ..........

[Captain]

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

".....retract it for once, or face kamikazi attack!" And with that he pulled out a white headband with a splash of his blood soaked into the centre. Turbo knew thay had to do something fast to stop him ..........

.... , so Tubb showed him a photo of the new Drifter and Nobu was transfixed (+ aloused).

 

"XXXX the Zelo" he said, took off his headband, and touched Tubb's arm in a way that eased his concern about being asked to kneel in front of a Samurai and .....

Edited July 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......asked; "Can I fry?" Cappy, irritated by the poor english made the mistake of .................

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......asked; "Can I fry?" Cappy, irritated by the poor english made the mistake of .................

..... saying what he used to say to his black haired mates at school where Cappy was one of the few blonde haired, blue eyed Aerian Viking types, that "You new Australians are all the same" even if they were Italians, Griks, Chinese or any other brand.

 

But then he added "However, Nob, you have been in Cowla longer than I was in the womb + Kindy, so I reckon that you are, by-now, an honorary ......

Edited July 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........Australian."  Nobushi, who owned both sides of the road from Cowra to Grenfell and 55,000 sheep started to smile, and said "..............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...........Australian."  Nobushi, who owned both sides of the road from Cowra to Grenfell and 55,000 sheep started to smile, and said "..............

.... Now our sheepdogs can be spoken to in Engrish (even the sheep speak half Japanese) as those dogs have no idea what "Come By" means, so that's why they bite 1st then ask questions while wearing a kelpie sized katana, and why they have Welcome to Changi written on the yards outside the shed and the moto "Making wool will set you free".

 

That dear readers is also why the stock reports from Cowra always run late, as Nobu (while looking all Skippy in his RMW gear and Akubra) always buys and sells in yen and the auctioneer has to use his calculator before taking the next bid (conversion rate today is 112.69 yen to the Pacific Peso).

 

The sheep and dogs are also sick of bowing to each other at the start of each mustering operation, and most have an aversion to Saki, unless of course ......

Edited July 8 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........it is wrung out of the droppings of one hundred year old possums.

Nobushi, who hadn't flown an aircraft since that fateful day when a handfull of Australians, with Nobushi flying  the old Corsair [avref] beat the Chinese Navy in the Spratley, and Chairman Xi was so impressed that he quite often flew down from Beijing to join the group for their wild weekends. On one particular flight he arrived after an engine failure and Nob................

[Captain]

30 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

On one particular flight he arrived after an engine failure and Nob.......

..... fixed it with his Sydchrome set and a #4 Sledgy. (Not many people know that those tools are named after that tool Syd Turbine III)

 

Xi was super grateful as he hadn't signed for the aircraft and had taken it as a foreign order, with a couple of ladies from Guang Jau, and without .....

Edited July 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....permission from the Proletariat, aand so began....................................

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....permission from the Proletariat, aand so began.......

.... Turbo's agonizing about whether to ask Xi about Doubtfire, with the chance that he might dob her in, or does Turbo just pretend that he doesn't know her and cast her to the wind.

 

But then, would you believe it dear readers, Doubtfire stepped out of the ladies dunny and indicated Shshshshsh, as Xi had picked her up in the Spratleys, mentioned something about building a house, or carpet and drapes etc and gave her the chance to experience the ......