The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

12 hours ago, onetrack said:

which is the reason why OT today looks like a Tom Cruise body double. 

Same height too, so OT has to be careful not to get dragged into dwarf throwing contests at the pub.

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........her fleece-lined boots, and RMW jeans which made him look like ....................

..... a fatter and shorter cross between the Twigster and Alan Bond, so in WA society circles (avref), OT is in high (avref) .......

[turboplanner]

.....gear (avref) and taking off (avref) for the high (avref) life.

The fact that all the people in Perth live on one street does make it hard to get new ideas, but OT just slugs it out on Peppermint Grobe like the rest of .........

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....gear (avref) and taking off (avref) for the high (avref) life.

The fact that all the people in Perth live on one street does make it hard to get new ideas, but OT just slugs it out on Peppermint Grobe like the rest of .........

..... the WA elite, where he can often be seen sitting with no mates under a boab tree (the Adansonia Gregorii genus, as named by Adan, Sonia and Greg from Perth Uni as a bit of a wank, and an in-joke), in the middle of Leake St (well named given his continence issues) at Peppermint Grove, sucking on a flat of (you beauty Bondy) Swan Lager and picking the sand out of his jocks, before heading (avref) ......

 

OT's boab tree and that's his P'mint Grove holiday house on the right. Note the stains on the bottom of the trunk lower right where he has been caught short a few times. He is often seen sitting on a stack of stubbies with his back against the trunk at lower left, yelling at passersby, and swearing at cars that almost run over his legs, which are thankfully short, see Tom Cruise reference above. 

Edited May 9 by Captain

[Captain]

Here is a photo from PG back just as OT started to sit under the tree when he was in his early 30's, and before he became a leading WA AUF member.

Not many people know of the existence of this photo.

Those steel rimed wheels really smart when they run over your legs, hence his mangled lower limbs and walking frame.

Back then OT looked exactly like a young Tom Cruise in Top Gun (avref), ............ but without the charisma.

Edited May 9 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........for the biggest CAT parts outlet in the Southern Hemisphere.

OT had stocks of 48 different types of grousers, these days referred to by the "in" people as "Undercarriage" parts, despite no record of any Cat machine taking off or circling an airfield, although there are plenty of records showing 40 tonne Cat D8s running stright down steep hills in angel gear to get away from bushfires, the only way of slowing down being to knock over trees on the way down. CAT men are tough men and ...............................

 

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

CAT men are tough men and .......

.... at that applies to OT in spades, but also to our best mate Tubb, who specializes in Cat-Farms & Cat-Houses, and only little Jimmy Chalmers (a 2nd JC) knows from the Turbine conglomerate's sanitized accounts, as submitted to the Aussie Tax Office (and on-sold to 4 Corners), from which source Turdy makes the most money.

 

It is little known, and even less understood, how OT and his CAT spare parts business/ripoff can have outsold WesTrac for the past decade, and have .....

[Captain]

It is nice to see that Bernie gets Cappy's crappy jokes ...... well, one of them anyway.

 

Bernie is an NES lurker of renown.

[Captain]

22 hours ago, Captain said:

It is little known, and even less understood, how OT and his CAT spare parts business/ripoff can have outsold WesTrac for the past decade, and has .....

..... put together a media organization that is little known to the public of Sandern Australia, but the smart money (and all of the slush fund from the Southern Cross CWA) are backing him, with the media spin doctors (Turbine PR [icksref]) having positioned OT as the Kerry packer of the 20's & 30's, where he will soon lecture a Senate committee on the benefits of tax minimization.

 

TPR have just advised that OT will henceforth be known as "The Goanna", but presently is just the "BlueTongue", which is quite a rise from "The Gecko".

 

Onesie has risen to the occasion, because he gets aroused at being treated this way, and he has taken to ......

 

OT, headed to his media HQ while wearing his latest onesie. No wonder he gets all the chics.

Edited May 11 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....attending rag shows with the "Do we know you?" latte class where the wives spend $1000.00 on clothes at the Peppermint Grove  coffee/clobber shop every morning whether they need them of not.

 

As much as Turbo is so proud of OT's achievements, he notes the bandy legs, not from riding horses on the Stations like Turbo did, but from sagging under the weight of lifting off CAT D3 tracks off the bull gear (not a mention of our Bull but a sprockety thing).

 

Turbo also notes the AI two day growth; don't we all use that today eh.

 

It was at one of thise rag shows, where both Turbo and OT had become bored by the stream of extreem female humanity walking past, that TurbOT was born and the rest is h..............................

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

TurbOT was born and the rest is h...........

...... idden by way of injunction and sealed for 30 years (like wartime Cabinet papers), in order to protect the public.

 

That, however, didn't stop TurbOT  from sweeping the public, both domestic and international, off their feet, because of the ......

[onetrack]

.....total integration of cat-farming, tax advice, parts supply, interstate trucking, aviation knowledge and skills, and military strategy knowledge of the merged operations, provided an unsurpassed service to the clientele - who ranged over every facet of society.

 

From the lowly V8 Falcon-loving, burn-out merchant from Broadmeadows, to the sleazy, cheap motel-chain owner from Kapooka, right through to the individual multi-millionaires and global corporations, TurboOT delivered the goods, no matter what the request, nor how hard it was, to fulfill. Then came the day when TurbOT HQ became stumped with a request for...........

[turboplanner]

......the purchase of the WAGGA WAGGA Blue Oyster Bar.

Long time NES viewers will remember (but not tell of) the BOB which was Loxy's creation and baby and grew to be a multi-million dollar relaxation centre for the Riverina when there wasn't a BNS on. Loxy's cover had been the local Fairies/Fiaries/Fries Fire Truck guru as a cover but now was reluctantly selling it. Of course anyone reading the News knows that all the Tobacco joints have been burnt down now, and the protection racketeers have started on nightclubs, but you wouldn't know this from that persuasive spiel of Loxy's and the price .......................

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Of course anyone reading the News knows that all the Tobacco joints have been burnt down now, and the protection racketeers have started on nightclubs, but you wouldn't know this from that persuasive spiel of Loxy's and the price .....

.... is set to be a Riverina record for a ramshackle fire-prone hovel with the roof painted matt black, and a heap of strobe lights that had been stolen off parked up REX aircraft at Wagga International Air & Space Port.

 

And with those aircraft parked up, the hosties were excess to requirements, flight-wise, so all volunteered to become BOB Gogo dancers, even the bloke hosties, and that is when Loxie first realized that he was perhaps a bit "happy" in that Village People/YMCA/neat & tidy mustache meaning of the term, so he decided to "come out" that he was g..... 

Edited May 12 by Captain

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, Captain said:

a ramshackle fire-prone hovel with the roof painted matt black, and a heap of strobe lights that had been stolen off parked up REX aircraft at Wagga International Air & Space Port.

The BOB's loudspeaker system had also been knocked off from the hostie communication system on one of REX's Saabs, along with the jump seat that they sat on ....... and the main band at the BOB comprised a bunch of off-shift Firies playing by & with themselves.

[turboplanner]

......rabbing some time between fires on the beach at Surfers, and had been talked into selling the BOB  to an retired Member who used to post on this site. The Member (we can't tell you his ID, but he was from NSW, had made a fortune selling Thruster parts or what the customers throught were Thruster parts. In those good old days every fine day saw thousands of Thrusters flying through the air, not all using Bernouli's Principal. An avid reader of the NES, he loved the lurid stories reported in NSE, and was looking forward to turning Wagga Wagga, a backward town these days into a smaller version of Las ..........................

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

An avid reader of the NES, he loved the lurid stories reported in NSE, and was looking forward to turning Wagga Wagga, a backward town these days, into a smaller version of Las ......

... Choapas, where he planned to form a skippy version of the Cartel Jalisco Nueva Generación (CJNG), to be known as the C-JINGOS where, as the El Mencho of OZ, he would be known as that hated by CASA aviation rebel El-Marty “Minimums‑Schminimums” Manchego, however this new Cartel attracted adverse attention from the "Vicmanistan UN of Criminals Conglomerate" (the VUNoCC) where the Somali, Ethiopian, Carlton Crew and the Moorabbin Maulers had teamed up under the leadership of ....... 

Edited May 12 by Captain

[Captain]

31 minutes ago, Captain said:

... Choapas,

Apologies for the error dear NESers.

 

In true Riverina form, the town would actually be named Las Choapas Choapas, meaning the place or many Choapas-es.

[turboplanner]

Choapas and Choapas. It wasn't long before there was a Choapas installed as Mayor of  Las Choapas Choapas, The Shire President retained his job as Harry Coapas after changing his name from Dixon by deed poll, a "Welcome to Las Choapas Choapas smoking ceremony was sent down by the great Rainbow Bird to the six tribesmen on the Choapas River, the airport was renamed Las Choapas International Airport and Space Port [avref].

 

The coffee shops were selling Tequila and Fajitas, the renowned Wagga Wagga lawns had all been grubbed out to show the real Riverina dirt, and the BNS balls now had rules.............

[Captain]

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The coffee shops were selling Tequila and Fajitas, the renowned Wagga Wagga lawns had all been grubbed out to show the real Riverina dirt, and the BNS balls now had rules......

..... that all of the blokes had to wear Copilli head dresses, see below, and wear a lap lap, commando style.

 

Not many people know that a Teocalli has recently been discovered in an olive plantation near Coolamon and below is a photo taken on Anzac Day.

 

This was all a bit of a ......

 

All the blokes have to dress like this at future B&S balls, and I had to crop the bottom off the photo to prevent showing his.

 

The below has been dated from pottery chards as built around 800 AD, so who would have thunk it for little old Coolamon, the ancestral home of Evonne Goolagong.

[onetrack]

.....shock to the local population who were just happy enough to have a Guzman y Gomez store start up in town - but when it became obvious there was a Mexican immigration takeover starting to overwhelm the Wagga region, this brought out the more rabid local supporters of PHON party - and guns were soon being flashed around, and graffiti started appearing, screaming the message, "Kill all Mexicans!!!".

 

This brought serious alarm from all the local Victorians who had moved North to the Wagga region (that's all the ones who didn't have enough money to reach Qld) - and the local Victorians, greatly terrified by the PHON party members anti-immigration speeches, along with the hateful graffiti, soon started to arm themselves up like Dezi Freeman, and hide in shipping containers as well. 

 

Very soon, it was extremely dangerous around Wagga to even mention where you were from, or what your ancestry was, and if you even mentioned the word..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....shipping container you were for the long drop (located 35 km north of Walla Walla, once suggested as the Capital of New South Wales. Turbo has been overwhelmed by trhe detailed knowledge of Cappy and OT about the Mexicans.  Turbo only got as far as the Tijuana Jail before .......................

 

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo has been overwhelmed by trhe detailed knowledge of Cappy and OT about the Mexicans.  Turbo only got as far as the Tijuana Jail before ....

..... he realized from 1st hand experience what can happen to a good looking overseas skippy in the confines of a small room.

 

Hence why Turbine Private Prison Intervention SystemS (T-PPISS) was registered in Vicmanistan and started construction (without approval mind-you, using Tubb's petty change, and to quote Turbs "Someone has to make a quid out of the rampant Mextorian crime wave") on the site of a disused piggery at Corowa, and where .....

 

This was the very piggery where the cravat wearing GFA flyboy Cappy used to eke his final bit of lift late in the day off the big rusty tin roof when struggling to make it back to Corowa after a 1750 mile cross country.

Edited May 14 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....Ned Kelly had been hanged. Not many people know it was at Corowa. They had to put the body in a box marked SichuanRight Good Tea and rail him to Melbourne's Old Gaol (which was youngf then of course) to be hung again, before .......

 

It's been noted that Cappy used gliding terms in his last post. He was never a raghead, but one of the best gliding afficionados in the Country. Up on the Khyber Pass, he and Turbo built a glider from packing cases, Bully Beef tins and string. He would launch between the bursts of enemy fire. There was no problem with friendly fire because it was up in the glider. He would do a quick reconnoitre, take a few shots of the lines with his Brownie, always managing to get those lifts which allowed him to land higher up. Turbo infiltrated the lines lower down and told the Khybers stories of a ghost ship from God piloted by a Debil Debil, and that helped to hold the lines down.

 

 

Edited May 14 by turboplanner

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Ned Kelly had been hanged. Not many people know it was at Corowa. They had to put the body in a box marked SichuanRight Good Tea and rail him to Melbourne's Old Gaol (which was youngf then of course) to be hung again, before .....

.... sending his twice hung body up to his ancestral home of Kellyville in Sydney, where his old mum gave him a belting with an RM Williams belt, buckle side out, for being a naughty boy and not apologising for his bad behaviour. 

 

Then it was back to Melbournistan on the train with a block of ice on his chest to contain the wiff, to be photographed and ......

Edited May 14 by Captain