Captain

..."Well, there's a shop down town wagah wagah that has an old back door, and the locks one of 'dem old fashioned types..."

.... "You beauty" said Ahlo "That makes 2 of us, and I might be able to open that one if it isn't one of those new fangled locks .... what has a key."

"I wish Tomo the Iphone salesman would let up" said sloppy "As advertising isn't allowed here, because I own a different brand, and ...............

Tomo,

I have put both the 13th and 14th into the Events Calendar based on your data below, and told interested parties to PM to you for more details.

If you would like to state more details in this thread or PM to me I will add them into the Events section.

Regards Geoff

Hi guys,Just wondering if any of you are going to the Point Cook Air Pageant 2010 on Feb 28th?

 

Lots of interesting aircraft including Mustang, Spitfire, Kittyhawk etc will be flying.

 

Details here :-

 

RAAF Museum: Royal Australian Air Force

 

Also, as a member of the Friends of the RAAF Museum, I can highly recommend a look round the museum which has loads of wonderful old aircraft on display. You should also look in on the Restoration Hangar where a WWII Mosquito is currently being restored.

 

A must for your diaries! :big_grin:

 

Cheers

 

Neil

Fancy having that clashing with the Latrobe Valley Fly-In and Event on the 28th.

Both events might suffer for aircraft attendances as a result.

Oh well. What can you do?

"....Deccandence - he'd chat up a coat hanger"

.... and spent his miss-spent youth talking the the Sydney Harbour Bridge (known locally as the SHB) and constantly asked it out for a promenade, until he realised that it was actually the ................

" Flood can make a cheque single-handed he is the greatest horsestealer with the exception of myself and George King I know of. "

...... and the modern equivalent .....Tubb can make a cheque single-handed he is the greatest bull shipper, with the exception of myself and Steve Bell, that I know of.

"Oh no he's not" yelled BigPete into his keyboard. "There are worse than him. Try .......

....the motley collection of Mentors that hung around the camp spots

..... like Dark&StormyNight, PiratePete, HiHoSlanderer, TurboPuncher, DeccaCards, Slartibushranger, Bryon-TheRustler, MrH-ornblower, the Ahrow Lama, TomoThe ........

.....Aaron Sherritt (this was three days before Ned shot his friggin head off and started the Australian tradition of never dobbing in a mate) to SlartiWrongWacCharts, stick some of this brew in and you'll be as fast as a Jab.

"I never dob in anyone, not even a mate" replied Glen (Rowan), and Ned would have been able to commute between my joint and Jerilderie if he had a 230, instead of needing 20 safe camping spots in between and having to team up with Captain Midnight, Mad-Dog Morgan, Ruff-Nut Ahlocks, 2nd Lieutenant Decca and ..................

......electric fences, but on the other hand this eventually evolved into another Australian invention, the Computer, and today there's a little Turbo inside every one of them, spinning his heart out day and night and speaking chinese.

"What" said the DR (Darai Rama) "Don't tell me we are back to writing in Chinese Engrish again. I thought we were over that."

"Such is Rife" piped up Ned.

"Where is Jerilderie" asked Michelle.

"I can't help" responded SlartiEmptyTanks "As there is no fuel out that way"

"Don't worry" said ...................

"It's faster than a Cheetah, Mr Kelly" said Tubb scratching his ring. "But it's nowhere near as fast as a Jab with a set of pipes, valve overlap, and a coupla mil haved off the head"

 

 

 

"Can I have yur autograph? Mr Kelly and Ned smiled at the young Tubb, reached into the camp fire, pulled out a charred stick, and began to write on Tubb's bare chest what later became known as the Jeriilderie Letter.

 

It hadn't been written on paper; the document now in the Victorian State Library was a fake copy written by a Journo from the Melbourne Argus who'd paid Tubb a XXXXhing after traveling up Jeriderie in a sulky, after rejecting the offer of a slower trip in a Gazelle

 

XXXX A sound which often comes from the foyer of Chez Rat

..... and that is the reason why the Jerilderie Letter always needs to be read in a mirror, because the boss of the local Jerilderie Paper (The Daily Sorbent), EditorPete, cleverly asked the young Tubb to rub his chest up against a sheet of white paper, thereby capturing Ned's text for all to see, & inventing the printing press (and the Gestetner machine) in one mad fit of creativity ........... but there was a dark side, as that is the reason why Turbs has been rubbing up against things ever since, particularly his penchant for ................

"Strike me with a Spur!" is this really Jerilderie?"..

..... then turned to the grubby children in the street and said "Come here, Tubb, lad, sit on Uncle Ned's lap and give me a couple of memorable quotes."

The street urchin turned to Ned and whispered "The only decent thing I can think of, Uncle Ned, is "Such is Life", so feel free to use that whenever it best suits ya."

"Thanks young Tubb" he responded with a kindly grin "And please also explain, what is a Cruise Missile and is it faster than a Cheetah?"

Young waif-Tubb smiled, stood up straight, puffed out his chest and said "................

...running the CIA, and so controlled the lot of them.

.............. and all because of the simple mundane fact that 2 Cruise Missiles got lost in the featureless Riverina, where many years before a green Cheetah had become disoriented and vanished in the Jerilderie Triangle, and where 150 years before that (when Tubb was just a nipper) Ned Kelly also got lost and said ...........

when CASA attempted to table the 10 000 ft rule for RAA aircraft and discovered that ......

..... CASA had been replaced by the FAA, Michelle Obama was the Prime Minister, SlartiHotPants was the Obama Aviation Szar, I*n was the Chairman of the RAA Board, El Ratto was Secretary of State, HiHo ran Victoria, Ahlow was the boss of Mergency Services (he never could spell), Decca chaired Qantas (with his feet up on the desk like all good Flight Engineers), while Tubb and BigPete were ............

Tangambalanga instead

..... but no, he thunked.

"If'n I send 'em both to Tooradin, with a bit of collateral damage down Yarram way, I have a good chance of taking out most of those who pick on the poor defenceless Rodent, and thereby end this gd-mf'n NES without ...............

'cause the Rivena lass had out her concave compact mirror and whilst admiring herself and preparing for a visit from the biggest pete was directing a concentrated beam directly into the most sensitive parts .........

.... of the Drone Driver's anatomy (his eyes), but it had the effect of a good kick between his toes, because the drone wandered and the driver asked in a typical Texas drawl "I am carnfused. Is that THE Rark or is that Ayres Rark, is that the Mooray Creek, the Misssissispppii or the Moorambbidgeee, was that Osama Bed-Linen that just went by or was that just the TerriblePlanner. Oh ..... stuff it .......... just send those drones to ................

[ Editor's note: not part of the story - provided for evidence only]

The story moves on to a little hut on the outskirts of Canberra where a shaggy haired gnome with a voice like an Air Traffic Controller, clutching a bronze (NOT Orange) model of a sleek (crawling) aircraft was monitoring NES Traffic in much the same way as the CIA monitor world transmissions.

 

He saw the above transmission, and his blood froze -

 

"They would all know what OversizePete meant by that he thought.

 

"The meaning was very clear in each case;this is a blatant case of obfuscation" he thought

 

His hand.....

..... went to it's usual position, but then he thought "I had better NOT do that (again this morning), as I will then be doing what all of these NES'ers do in many of their posts, so instead I will exercise my powers of moderation and call the US Embassy."

Ring, ring ..........

"G'day, is that you Chuck?"

"Howdee Slarts, what can we do for you this time?"

"Do you have any drones with a chance of hitting Echuca, Wagga and Ye Olde BangeHolme?"

"Sorry Buddy, but based on I**'s previous request, we only have one based down south, ready to go with coordinates for both Qwerty and the TurboPlunger."

OK, give them both a ..........................

What I love about the NES is the utter confusion that can exist (like right now!!!)

Where all 5 threads of this story will be brought together by one flash of Tubb's brilliance when he ...................

My Aunt just called again to confirm that the "I'd rather be flying at Tooradin" stickers are now outselling the rainbow stickers at the G&L Mardi Gras

....Hi Kapitan :heart: - how's things in your Aunts garden :big_grin::big_grin:

G'day ProdigalPete, (or ProdderPete for short), and welcome back.

My Aunt just called me on Skype to say that Pete being back on the scene prompts her to invite him into her garden for nibblys once the mozzies bugger off.

"Made in China" he thoughtI will transfer all the emoticons to China and engage an offshore company to monitor the service requirements

 

From now on, all requests for emoticons must go through a call centre somewhere in India.:lol 8:

 

"How devilishly fiendish am I" thought Mahatmarat "this will...........

..... take the Chinese Gov't's mind off arms sales to Taiwan and BO's meeting with the DL.

They'll go mental when they realise that the DL is actually just TP in drag, with a prayer scroll up his .............

sachay (Rotax pilot & general aviation move) down the street like a p[air] (aviation thing that holds planes up) of ponces (Rotax & BangHolme term)

..... do in the NE suburbs of Melbourne, wearing their possum skin atire under their Freightliner overalls, with an "I'd rather be flying at Tooradin" sticker on their bumper and an "I love truckies and blue singlets" badge on their ................

The Rat crouched down on all fours, whiskers quivering with rage at the mere suggestion that the emoticon bandit could posture so blatantly. A plan started to form in his fertile little brain....

"Welcome back ProdigiousProdigalPete" he writ ............ now all I have to do is re-read the old posts and find out what he was unhappy about last time when he baled ......... and regurgitate it like a good NES'er does when they run out of ideas.

But on the other hand, AncientPete is a fine addition to the senior end of the NES line-up (and he is a good and experienced clean-living Riverina lad), which all provides a vital balance to the U25 Young-ees many of which live up in FNQ, or just over the border in f'nQ, so Rat'sBestMatePete is back in the limelight ready to ..................

And with these cryptic words, in just two sentences, Tomo had stripped all the dignity from the Rat.

... which was not too hard, due to the lack of it.

Not only had the Rat had his dignity stripped, and his self-confidency shot to pieces, but he was fantacising about Rapunzal, who in all of his books used to look like a busty hot Swedish Princess with her hair in a long plat .......... but now she is AC/DC, had her eyebrows pierced, her hair in dredlocks, more under her arms, a tat on her lower back, 7 earrings in her left ear and a callas on her thumb from constant texting.

"Hey Babe" yelled Rapunz's boyfriend/girlfriend "Chuck down your hair."

"No wuckers" she called "But I have such uber cool texts to like reply to, so go and spray some grafiti on the tower and I'll be with you in a ...............

..... "What was that?" asked Ahlow's partner as they were half way through the dance with the maypole looking spectacularly lovely due to Ahlow's fine footwork. ............"

For the information of NES contributors, please find below a photo of the Ahlovakian and his partner's tryst by the May Pole.

This photo has just been released by the Supreme Court this afternoon following Ahlocks' Injunction being overturned.

[ATTACH]9893.vB[/ATTACH]

And for more photos and a sample of music, you may go to The Maypole Dance Post Card Scenes

"....forget to clamp the perspex canopy which is the strongest component"

...... and is the nearest thing to a Jabiru that McJockLocks can find.

Sometimes when asked, I have heard him explain "I fly a Jabiru that has been converted to low wing and has been skinned in aluminiminium, with an engine change."

And they are always impressed, then ask "Does that conversion make them faster or slower".

To which Jocksy answers "..................

....keys jingling in his back pocket where: "he should of had his phone in there sort of because it's cool....yeah, said Mandy

..... with his keys held together by carribener clip made from aluminium and with the SportSzar brand on it.

"What was that?" asked Ahlow's partner as they were half way through the dance with the maypole looking spectacularly lovely due to Ahlow's fine footwork.

"Don't worry" he assured his partner "It was just a rivet that flicked out of the carribener. They do that when you pull 4 g's around the pole and if you ............."

The sheer shock of seeing the hand write on the wall had brought BigPretzel front and centre.

To who it may concern, Deccas posts do have to be attended to from time to time as they seem to be based on what out of control Flight Engineers do mid flight, and can be coarse and unsuitable for the gentle retiring residents of the NES.

 

It was very timely that JabPete should make his presence felt as High Hog has been referring to his aircraft as a plastic parrot (which in point of fact is the only form of wildlife left in Yarram apart from the chicks)

 

If it's not fixed, break it!

"For if ProdigalPete has returned to us due to the 15W50 on the wall it is, indeed, a murrikal" responded the Rat (wearing his heart on his sleeve as usual).

"Oh what a joyous group we have here now" added Ahlow as he danced around the maypole with his .........................