Captain

......"Yes, but he will never have children" said Turbo as he looked at the Brahman barb.

"Come over here" said Don Brahman to the Alley-Cat (who was also sometimes known professionally as Barb) "Do you know that I averaged 99.94 and Turdy says that I can't have any kids?"

"Mate" said the Alley-Cat "That's one of the best pick-up lines I've heard since AhChoo (obscure aviation and moderatti reference) let out that cry for help when he asked everyone to go back to the fishnets ......... so tell me Donny, do you have epaulettes on your flying suit, can you get me an intro to that famous aviator (aviation term) and cynic (aviation term) Madge Mallard and can you ......

.

"....girl at the Blue Oyster Bar" and Turbo understood because they all behaved like barrel girls at a .....................

...... Barrel Girl's Convention (& Exhibition) at the bone Town hall and Convention Centre (it dwarfs Darling Harbour in both physical size and the depths of debauchery), which also coincided with a Barrel Girl's Hen's Night and a CASA Safety Forum, where the Barrel Girls were .......

".............failing to wear a uniform or not polishing his shoes."

"But we don't wear uniforms in RAA, sai ....

.....lor" commented Turdy, which made the CASA Inspector draw himself up to his full height, puff out his ample chest and say "Listen your Evinrude wrecker, don't call me sailor, I'm actually a barrel ......................

........hind leg.

"But what is the good of that when you aren't flying the Hind" asked the CASA Inspector (who didn't fully understand the amazing similarities between the russian checklist in the Hind and the Czeck, cheque Checklists in a SportSzar) ........ and the aircraft look almost identical too.

"And I do so like those epaulettes." added the Inspector, who was power hungry (which is unusual for a CASA Inspector) "Can I get some so that I look even more important (but not impotent) when I bounce some poor unsuspecting RAA Pilot for ..................... "

.....um.........pokes um...........and makes a noise like a RAA board member[this thread has been moved to recreationalflying.com Register to see RAA details]........and doing up his...

.... his Flying Suit which has 5 gold bars on his epaulettes (this thread has been moved to GayFlyingSuits&pozers.com .. register to see details).

The TurdBro then zipped up his fly, once he had finished reading his Check-List (occasionally used aviation reference) of which he had both short and long versions (the latter triggered by Nanna) tattooed on his ............

Turbo didn't want to deprive bull of his first experience with a Quorn bindii, but assures readers they don't smell like his feet, or he'd at least get some warning.

A rumour has been circulating that Lockup had flown to Sydney for a cosmetic procedure. We've managed to find out that he'd flown there in his Sportstir, Reg No 2[ this thread has been moved to Aircraftenthusiats.com, Register to see details of the aircraft]................On the way back from Sydney he inadvertently entered controlled airspace and pushed a 747 out of the way. RaAus said [this thread has been moved to recreationalflying.com, Register to see details pertaining to RAAus], then....ah bugger it I've forgotten what I was going to write about, and...................

.... that was pretty normal for Turdy these days, as for a couple of years now he had been starting his aircraft by yelling "Clear ......... um Clear ........ um Clear Skin ..... um, or is it Clear Up .............. ah bugger it I've forgotten what I was going to yell out about, so please stay out of the way of that sharp long thing up the front that twirls around, and which ...............

..various pizzed outside the pub, who....

..... reminded bull of .......

......Pizza, where you'll find the leaning tower of Pizza, and....

..... which is located just down the road from the bent Blue Oyster Bar near the Pizza hut, the twisted Fire Station beside KFC, and the .....

.....the fridge next to his beet which he used to eat with piz..........

..... "Pizzazz", a new brand of edible undie and, by a strange coincidence (nttiawwt), also a new 508 powered UL flying wing that was designed in Helsinki but manufactured in ...............

...... "Sheet" he said, ................................. or was he perhaps referring to a fire blanket, which he had stashed in ..............

....... 15 seconds. Because the Lucky Locky is an impatient patient, the 912 started to overheat, and his hand .............

......."Neverne to you daggie" said Nev who'd strayed from the TAA Flight Crew Hotel where this sort of thing NEVER happened. "I'm........."

...... here to tell you about AhLox, who is a Master Locksmiff, and who I once saw rebating a door. He is a real Masterrebater.

But then you all already know that, don't you, because you have all see what he wrote on the labels of those bottles, which was "Madge is back in the NES and has done ....................

.......... so the Golden Toothed Rodent didn't know what to do, as AhRoxoff and Turdy both arrived (with their posts) at the same time.

Should the Rodent reply, or allow them both to have a smoke and a little sleep?

And Ratatouille just knew that he would get in deep trouble with the Moderatti with everything that he tried to compose in reply ....... so deceided to let them sleep and .................

.......lock fetish. He used to be called "Chainman" in school because of the lengths of chrome plated chain he used as a necklace and bracelets, and even before that when he was in shorts he had cute little chainmesh socks, but as he grew up the collection grew and that's why today he needs extra springs in the van, and has a Masters Degree in Bondage from Bond University, and......

..... TurdBro was closer to the mark than he realised, because El Ratsack has seen GoldyLox degree from Bond U hanging on his wall (with a miniature version on the dash of the SportSzar beside the CO monitor), and he can also advise that Loxly is pretty old, so BondAge is hereby confirmed.

And my sister from NZ has seen him in the flesh and also definitely states that he is "fetish", being about 10 kgs overweight.

In fact he has a tatoo high up on his inner thigh that says ".....

[not that theres anything wrong with blue oysters]its the green ones you have to be carefull of.......................

... however that is nothing, when compared to what can be seen in the back of the Locky's van and on the floor in the passenger's side of his SS .... which all goes to prove that he really is a ...............

.....the great engine rebolt

... known in OZ as the GER. Although at the BOB it is known as the ..............

".........Bill's....."

..... used .....

"Does Wayne Swan wear a sportsbra?" asked Nana whilst cupping a hand to her rear ear"No, you sirry iriot" replied Sir Nobu. "Is Ahroxoff who is learing sportsbra at Bru Oyster Bra"

 

"Wayne Swan is learing.........

........ a Signet ring ............... and a cheeky little treasury number made of ..................

.....christen a new Green, who will....

.... have plastic surgery so that he can look as dynamic as Wayne Swan.

"It'd take more than a big banana to make me green" commented AhRocks-Off "After all, I am a graduate of the party games down at the Blue Oyster ............. plus I shall continue burning ULP until the world runs out of rivets and beer can patches for my SportSzara. But on 2nd thoughts there is only one thing that makes me green, and that is one of those lucky J230 owners who has a ..........

"........get ready to do with banana prices what Julia has been doing to the Country for some time now"

...... which is pretty simple, as you just take the biggest banana that you can find, hand it to Bob Brown, assume a kneeling position, and allow him to ...............

a mass exodus from luna park occurred [very nasty place in st kilda] i dont think we will have enough staff to keep up ,,;the manager of mc,donalds cried' [seedy place on st kilda road] what will we do...............

..... when fourpence Moran (the well-known furniture manufacturer), 4/6 Biggs and 6 Rubles Bogdanovic (the Russian Gangster) all walk in and offer protection."

"Don't you worry about that(JB-P term)" said bull "Just do what we do up here in Bone when a Cyclone is threatening and we need protection. Put on a condom, think of the Blue Oyster, and .................

My Auntie can't wait to get up to Bone to visit with bull in his garden, to hit the Mother Beddock walking track (fast being recognised as one of the tourism wonders of the world), to sample the delights of the Big Mango (which is not a tourist trap), and to skip through the humidity with bull to trap Cane Turds down at Muller's Lagoon ......... let alone the 25 Murals in the main street, that must be a turn-on to any self-respecting visitor ............ "WOW, mon ami" responde mon Tante as she got ready for the trip of a lifetime and ferme'd her fenetres.

..surprise.Turbo reached into his pocket to pay the cashier, and six 9 mm Glocks rose from nearby tables of laughing families with little children.

 

Turbo quickly took his hand out of his pocket, but Mama took this as an attempt to get out of paying for the spaghetti, and let go such a string of abuse, that he quickly shoved his hand back in and noticed this time there was not a Glock to be seen and all were looking carefully at their plates.

 

From a corner Mick.....

..... Gateaux pulled out a recipe for a chocolate cake and said to Chrissy Nicksoff "Here Chris, let me show you my .................

"Oh you cruel bugga" said Mavis, "What did a pussy ever do to you?""I could tell you some horrific stories involving doctors visits and penicillin" chimed in Elratto

 

"Uth boyth at the Blue Oyster Bar dont like puthies either" lithped Ahlocth

 

"No wonder" said Nana, "All you ever do is..................

.... be really really naughty in the "Naughty Corner", which is a famous place behind the cigarette machine where couples can't be seen ("See and be seen" type aviation term).

But Turdy and Salty were lost, as it was a pubic holiday in Mextoria and they had no sport to go and watch @ the MCG .............. as was the rest of Melbournistan, who were all now lined up outside Montezuma's Mexican Restaurant waiting for it to open, and complaining about Mick leaving & Collingwood's overseas training in preparation for next season ...................... and while 4 million of the buggers were lined up outside Montezuma's in Lygon St, only 6 gangland killings occurred (which was a good day because that outnumbered the number of police shootings in the que by 2).

"The Blue Oyster is tame compared to what we have down here in St Kilda Rd" said the only member of the Moran family left standing (who's name was Threepence Farthing) and if AHChoo comes into this town there'll be a .....................

TurdBro[/size]' date=' post: 25059, member: 0"']Especially when they're planning a cough

...., which of course was a near cough and not a ..................

bull[/size]' date=' post: 25059, member: 0"']Now ratsack is planning on a spectacular new year stunt, he has attached a couple of rato bottles for a midnight vertical climb.Turbro said " but ratsack what about the.............

..... the fact that FNQ is just ushering in the New Year for 1962 and they hadn't come up with rato bottles back then.

"I always wanted to invent a time machine" commented Salty "And now I don't even need to save up for a DeLorean, as all I have to do is go over the Qld border."

"It was the best fireworks I have ever seen" said bull with joy and appreciation "We had a string of tom-thumbs, two tuppeny bungers that El Ratsack had lost at the bonfire in Concord in 1962, a sky-rocket with a plastic tip that looked like it was armour-piercing and someone fired a shoulder launched missile (scary aviation term) that they bought on Ebay from Libya."

"That's nothing" commented an NES contributor from Adelaide in his (or her) new Safari Suit and Bermuda Sox "We had a .....................

My Aunt said "Happy New Year to all you NES devotees, deviates and/or debutantes" and she feels so full of the New Year spirit that if you want to head out into the garden with her, she will reward you beyond your wildest dreams.