turboplanner

.....and Turbo, who hadn't seen him fall mistook him for a New Australian fresh from the Sub Continent and magnanimously gave up his seat to Captain, who he just realised the noise coming from the Cherub's engine was a loose valve seat flopping around in the combustion chanber and..........

Just try closing a golf course for housing and listen to the uproar. And what do golf courses add to the economy? Not as much as an airport.

 

Several golf courses around the SE outskirts of Melbourne have gone into partnership with developers and tried to have their golf courese rezones Residential for subdvision to generate profits to cover a lot more than the cost of building further out, so they can lower fees to stop the membership drain. Most have run foul of zoning regulations.

TP, care to explain yourself? You infer that you know better than Bex. You been there? Seen it? I get so annoyed sometimes. 

 

I inferred nothing of the sort! I just answered one of the one word questions. You have the opportunity to do the same.

Jibberish

....steak................but he got no further because there was a crunch! and he saw "Bastard", the neigbour's huge Hereford Cross Bull breaking through the fence and heading straight for him, but just as he got within rage, bull floated down in his Jacka.............

Did the ends of the T Junction have a ridge around them?

If so, you may not have tightened one of the hoses enough and it has been squirting oil, then the hose slid along untilthe clamp was up against the raised section and blocked the oil leak.

......"I'll save you Hi Ho, yelled Turbo as he ran past"

"What from replied Hi Ho wiping the oil from his googles"

The goggles arced high in the air as the bull connected; he now had three targets and was snorting loudly, when......

.....crapped himself with excitement when he saw that helmet with the bull’s horns on it. Knowing that Turbo had vast contacts all over the world he phoned up and said: “I have to have one ; I’ll pay any price!” “won’t cost you anything” replied Turbo “In fact, as a Viking, you’re REQUIRED not to pay for it.” The Captain almost swooned. The procedure was identical to the ScottIsh ritual. When the Vikings invaded Scotland Turbo explained” they killed our men, then went through the women, then started on the bulls.  I have a big Angus Bull in the paddock and I’m required to give you a skimming knife and a saw.” “Are they big enough to kill a b b b bull?” quavered Captain. “No” replied Turbo, you have to kill him with your bare hands”  Tears started to flow, and Turbo’s gaze fell on his slight frame, skin lesions, and tiny arms. “I’ll help you” he said. “I’ll walk up and attract his attention, and you run in from behind and kick him in the balls. That’ll give us enough time to twist his head around and choke the bastard.”  

Now one would think Turbo’s instructions were clear and unambiguous, but just as he had attracted the bull’s attention and it was snorting and pawing up clouds of dirt.......

given the result it would appear that generally the people didn't  vote were those who are unhappy with things.

 

?

...irresistable itch for some gun practice, and he preferred live practice on rabbits, and to get those he had to travel to South Gippsland, current rabbit capital of the world, and the farm with the most rabbits belonged to a member of this forum, Hy Hosland.  Hy was short for Hysterical, and that was the state he got into at the Captain's first shot, which is not surprising because the Captain insisted on using a Barrett M82A1 sniper rifle which had a cartridge which would turn any rabbit into powder, then go straight through Hy's pig shed, into the town of Maffra and out the other side. To make matters worse the first bang was so loud that Hy would soil his pants every time. However, there is an upside to this story; Hosland is actually an old Viking name, and when they were upset, they didn't mess around, and soon enough, Hy...............

The safety advisor that does mine seems to know very little about "recreational" aviation, GA or otherwise, and tends to engage more with the commercial operators in the room.

 

Yet the theme of most nights is directed more at private operations I feel, with the majority attending from that demographic.

 

Many of the local commercial operators never attend which seems strange to me as aviation is their livelihood......

 

That could be as simple as the advisor staying away from areas of Self-Regulation where he would be expecting RAA to be running similar nights, and focusing on issues that were coming up day to day where commercial operators, who fly every day want to talk about operational issues they're running into on a daily basis.

The proposal to appoint non-members as directors and give them equal voting power is a signal of the value of members opinions.  

 

This is how a Limited Company works; no surprises here; giving away members' direct representation was one of the gobsmacking decisions made by voting members in the past.

.......just a word of warning Onetrick; the Captain showing signs that one of his periodic unstable periods, which he has periodically from time to time is about to start. In the past we've had to winch him down from the roof of the MCG, naked and that's probably the mildest attack so far, so whatever you do, don't be tempted to get into a debate about his mate Trump because...

What was going on with the Captain whose spelling was norally impeccable; "dengration?" we badly need Dazza hear to give him a ten minute lecture.

Could he be one of these "glass half full people" who always manage to stuff up everything they do?

And this obsession in trying to pin Turbo's identity on the Premier of Victoria, who it must be said, does look like a BMW with the doors open.

"I make no apologies for that" the Premier has just tweeted,  "but I wish you'd stop using makeup Turbo.

And then it dawned on him, the Captain was desperately trying to use Turbo as a diversion, but why?

What could have happened to get Captain into such a frenzy in such a.....................

Photo below showing Captain on the night he won the CWA basket at the Gumly Gumly CWA ball.

....Detective Doubtfire falling about laughing. "We visited his humpy, and met all the bros, and one of them, Paddy took us to a particularly dense stand of wattles, and inside we found 173 alternators, minus their copper, and 147 aircraft tyres."

At first we wondered why there were were no reports of stolen tyres from Wagga Wagga International, and then we realised that these thefts dated from the days when the Captaion owned a Jab 230, and he admitted flying all over Australia to satisfy his fetish for tyre until one day..........

......no longer owning the F7 230 6x4 with sleeper cab. It was so slow you could put a mower deck on it and contract to the road authorities to make extra money on the trip, steered like an itchy bull, and humped for 200 metres every time you took off, but it was home......better than the old chicken coop out near the rabbit-proof fence he lived in now. He picked up his rabbit stick and went looking for.....

....red shirt rorter!  (which is several steps up the truckie scale from the fishnets).

"I make no apology for that" said Daniel, "because I've been an admirer of Turbo for years, but I'm not Turbo, I just don't have enough skill and expertise to do what he does."

"When Victoria lost the Turbine Cat Farm to Queensland" I was devastated continued Dan. "You'd still be driving on dirt roads in Queensland without the massive haul of State fur taxes, and food taxes. Turbo's masterpiece of selling Kentucky Fried Cat thoughout China, and the Rat's chain on the Sub Continent allowed Anna Bligh to retire and run the Banking Industry after that, while here I am having to bullsh!t about electricity prices, try to find another unsispecting country to export our rubbish to, and learn what an NRL is.................."

.................on the clothesline which ripped a large hole in one of the stockings, and fishnet stockings with holes in them had been the hallmark of Volvo drivers started in the G88 era when they wore out the seat of their pants, and progressing through a series of models which all took a toll on the drivers, whether snagging a stocking leg as the seat coils popped out, or snacking a stocking knee when the power divider switch lever starts drooping. Captain being a pink Suzuki rider wasn't aware of these nuances, didn't even know you had to wear a blue singlet, and walked straight into the trap when he put them on and....

Photo of Turdboy, taken last week.

 

He does indeed look like Rod Stewart, is is it the way James Stewart looks now, 6 ft under.

 

Turbo wishes to strongly refute this photo; it has been retouched.  Turbo has never worn a striped suit in his life, would never wear a poofy flower, always wears a tie, and always has his hair neatly cut, except for...

Not directly related to this crash, but the B17 which crashed at Bakers Creek south of Mackay in 1943 is still Australia's worst air disaster.

From memory it was an EFATO.

It had a terrible history of damage and repairs and was a bitser made up of a number of aircraft, and not reliable enough to go into battle, so the US forces used it for troop transport to Australia.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-06-14/bakers-creek-plane-crash-75th-anniversary/9827764

This link gives a short story about it, but if you google you'll find other sites which give a lot more detail about the mechanical repairs. It really showed how well the B17s performed under such harsh treatment.

......special occasions, when he would invite a few of his special friends around, for, regardless of their normal morals, a long and at some times tiring session of eating crayfish.

Turbo wishes to reassure regular innocent NES readers (and he says that because he knows there are a few who are far from innocent) that he has never used date rape drugs on innocent young girls; you don't have to when you look like Rod Stewart; in fact it's a bloody nuisance when you can't walk down the street without being accosted by females, and through the years Turbo had invented and now sold "CatFat" through his Turbine Cat Farm. This product, if left in the hot sun for a few days clears any street.

The crayfish (or for out two remaining US subscribers rock lobster) story is one of systematic plunder, which as a rule Turbo doesn't approve of. In his childhood crayfish were so plentiful that factories cooked them, twisted the tails off and sold the tails to the US restaurant market, wheeling tonnes of cray legs each night out to tip them back into the sea. (This was the concept Turbo later used for the rats to eat the cats and the cats to eat the rats). Turbo, and the other poor street urchins would be riding on the rail cars cracking legs and gorging themselves until they went home with distended stomachs.  These days there were so few crays, the fishermen would four or five in from a day's pots, and dealers in four tonne trucks (when all they needed was a motor scooter), and huge wads of money change hands for each one.

One drunken night someone suggested to Turbo that he should use a date rape drug to catch more for the feast, and that;s exactly what he did. The crays became addicted and swam miles whenever he poured it out, and he caught hundreds at a time. Don't tell anyone.

One day.......

..in relation to the sexing of a crayfish which was under......

"Can I take my teddy bear DF in with me?" asked Turbo in a most respectful, manner. "Take whatever you like!" said the Judge.

And that's how Constable Doubtfire came to be locked up with Turbo in the Wagga Wagga Correction Centre.

Turbo reluctantly brings a "slight mistake" (Ref: Saint Mary McKillop) by Onetrick to the readers attention. Constable Doubtfire is a female. It was an understandable mistake, because CD had been "Wrapping" for some time. She prided herself on condicting her own arrests unaided, and she'd had a problem when running after Wagga's criminals, and some of those such and Loxette and Laxette could run at the drop of a hat.

She has two problems; her gun holster would fly up.......well she had three problems; just as her ample endowments would flop down, and the wrapping had worked except for one day when the clip finally broke and the whole lot went off like a Takata Air Bag.

She had been a slim little thing and Miss Wagga in 1986, but the Captain had started his own version of "Grease" in the Riverina. Unfortunately there was less dancing and more grease than the ONJ version and she just kept growing wider.

Still, all at the Station had to admit, no one could catch a crim like Doubtfire; once she squirrel-gripped them they didn't dare to move.

Turbo knew he was protected from the other long-termers in the prison, including Captain Mockbel, but how was he going to protect himself from Doubtfire?.........

and yet there's 3 million Toyota Prius driving around with no problems ...

 

Doesn't matter, it's the internet.

 

I think the basic concept has worked well as a means of lowering fuel consumption, but it’s heavier than either pure ICE or electric, and with the growing doubt about the “evidence” that CO2 causes global warming, the latest Fuel efficient ICE systems are looking good.

.....made it mandatory for all aircraft to carry chains after he labeled Hotham as the alternate to Tullamarine International Airport. At the crash Inquiry, he explained, I’m a glass half full person and don’t believe in wasting my life looking at maps or reference information, that’s for those glass half empty people. After the unfounded complaints from people getting bogged at Wagga, I made the logical decision to locate the Melbourne Alternate high enough that Joyce’s Jets would never get bogged.”  It was after he accused the Judge of being a glass half empty that the water jug was tipped over him and....