turboplanner

....wrote an Opinion piece for one of the City Newspapers.

"We don't want stuff about Cessnas" said the Editor, "get us some real news"

And this was the way Le Droit found out about the Cat farm. He'd flown over it many times, but hadn't seen the cats fior the trees.

Turbo, always responsible in animal husbandry had planted shady trees to give the cats a more comfortable life, but there's always one, and Turbo had to call out the fire brigade at least once a month to rescue a cat from a tree.

He solved the problem after watching a cop show, and these days keepers get them down using the Winchester method.

Le Droit .................

........which he doesn't apologise for. "Castrol R is not a prohibited drug" he explained to the news media. "It prolongs life, cures all types of diseases, is a lubricant with many different applications and produces a measurable increase in power in an engine by freeing up components, particularly pistons, which run much cooler."

Not all the press were convinced. Jacques Le Droit an earlt AUF member who had been deported from France, and was also expelled from the AUF mischievously asked ".....

....rip his pants off. This is where Castrol R has been so important to Turbo who has always used nothing but Castrol R in his race cars, not for improved performance, but so he could sniff has last lap every time he went around, which inspired him to ..........

.........coated it with Castrol R." The CASA operative looked even more uncomfortable, but Turbo reassured him that there was an antidote. His pleading eyes told Turbo that the fix was in, and he explained that it was lucky they were in bindii country because the bindii seed was the only thing to reduce Castrol R necromation. The whole camp could hear the Operatives screams all night and by morning he was gone.

Turbo said to Planey "Didn't you tell him palm oil dissolved the spikes, but with a knowing grin planey said "No, I ................................................"

.......squashed cockroach flavouring otherwise known as Renmark Soy which.....

.....Urdu printers, when we could have used Hmongs.

Turbo's thoughts came back to the Tyro (possible avref), and that huge puff of smoke in Take 1. What had happened; what could have gone ......................

......the Orange Boy for the crew. Turbo was scratching his head trying to work out how Turbine Graduations had been caught up in this scandal. “It wasn’t as if the Licences weren’t ornate” he thought “they were the biggest cost of the whole training programme”

Reluctantly he realised he’d have to sack His instructors Bronwyn Bishop and Amanda Grindstone, and start........

Ignore the English.....I’m trying to improve Chinese so I understand the problems there.

 

I’m paragliding and looking for ultralight airports so thought I’d check the accident reports. If the first one didn’t involve injury the idea of crashing on a pineapple farm would be more amusing. The standards here are interesting. Lots of bravado. The guys definitely push the limits.

 

1. On Feb. 3 1155 Hrs (Local Time), a Quick Silver Sport 2S twin seat ultra light aircraft, took off from Jhong-Pu private ultra light airfield. During the initial climbing, the operator loss of control the aircraft with full power flight into terrain, the aircraft was rest on the pineapple orchard, which was located at 100 meters north west of the airfield. The aircraft was substantial damaged, the operator was suffered the serious injury.　

 

2.

The two operators in the occurrence were all members of legal ultra-light vehicle activity association and held valid operation certificates issued by the Civil Aeronautics Administration, Ministry of Transportation and Communications (hereinafter CAA). However, the vehicle was designed and built by an individual and did not hold a valid inspection certificate issued by the CAA. Furthermore, the vehicle did not take off from a legal site. As a result, the operation was an illegal ultra-light vehicle activity.

The contributing factors preclude weather, fuselage structure and flight control system related factors. The occurrence vehicle experienced engine rotational speed decrease and subsequent decrease of output horsepower during cruise, which resulted in the flight altitude of vehicle could not be maintained, therefore, the operators executed emergency landing, causing the vehicle destroyed. The two operators were no injuries. Due to severe damage to the engine, relevant functional tests could not be performed. Therefore, exact causes of insufficient engine horsepower could not be determined.

The CAA has stipulated relevant provisions for inspection and issuance of certificate of ultra-light vehicle designed and built by individuals or manufacturers. However, up to the present, there is no application case. The CAA may go deep into the realities to find out the reasons, enhance the dissemination of relevant procedures and regulations, and provide guidance to intended applicants.

 

 

https://www.ttsb.gov.tw/media/3241/0311storch-executive-summarypdf.pdf

I've done business with several Taiwanese companies in the past. Never mind the English, they try hard and are very genuine people.

The event they describe has been matched here in Australia many times; routine EFATO, should have been able to glide to at least a landing with gear breakages at worst, but they hadn't checked the circuit or simply fell for the self-assurance of referring to "Tiger Country" where you don't land, or even just pulled the stick back and dropped it like a rock from anywhere up to 1000 feet, so sound like nothing we haven't done here.

.....Tyro [avref]. The story relates to the day an AUF Member who shall remain nameless was practising his circuits when a Rolls Royce rolled up and Bob Menzies (Jenny Craig hadn't been born then) alighted and ..............................

....t......

..big..

......a copy.......

......he faltered, because FoI Essy revealed.....................

.....let him off with sixty warnings, and the implied threat that they would get him one day. In repsonse Cappy ......

........."Mein GOTT!" and then, getting himself back under control. He hadn't expected a glaring admission of wrongdoing like this and realised he could get a promotion out of dragging Cappy, a person of interest to CASA ever since, as a nine year old in Wagga Wagga Primary School he had made a hot air ballon from wheat bags he'd pinched from Wagga Grains Ltd, and a gas bottle he'd borrowed from the caravan park. It was working well and he'd been well above roof height when his little friend Loxie who would grow up to be a fairy, instinctively reached for the garden hose and knocked the flame out. The problem was he crashed into Mrs Effie Doubtfire's Bottle Museum on Forsyth St, she told her husband, Sergeant Doubtfire, and he phoned DCA.

The FoI's problem was he didn't have 60 infringement forms, and .....................

........it was probably all that bog that made the fire such a spectacular show that it could be seen from Hay (or could have been; it was at 7:15 pm and everyone in Hay was asleep).

A few days later there was a knock on the door of ChezCapitan in Wagga Wagga; It was CASA FoI, Esteletio Frazzone who said' We've heard that your aircraft was burnt in a place north of Hay last week, and we're concerned that you don't seem upset."

"Nah" said Cappy on his sixth gin, "the wings were buggered from all those loops"

FoI Frazzone positively gloated as he pulled out his triplicate notebook; "you understand that loops are prohibited?" he said.

"Yes of course" replied Cappy "I wasn't talking about THOSE loops I was referring to rope loops"

Cappy had started to close the door when FoI Tazzone put his foot in it and asked: "Tie Downs"

Cappy would have been home free, but as we all know he likes to have the last say, and blurted out "No, I've been rebuilding all the Paugeot models and using the 230 to travel around Auatralia and bring back old engines to rebuild.

FoI Tazzone had just hit paydirt and, beaming, he said "Show me your last 60 pre-takeoff W&B calculations, but Cappy ..................

......pitot tube [avref].

The five youngest on the BNS Committee were expected to bring their chainsaws along and cut down a few trees for the six huge BBQ pits, but it was getting harder and harder each year to find suitable trees, as you can see from the photo taken from Captain's J230.

Some NES readers will have noted that he doesn't fly it any more, doesn't even talk about it any more; it all started with the 2016 30th BNS, when Turbo and Captain were on firewood duty. Captain took Turbo in the J230 with the Stihl strapped down behind the seats. After walking for hours they'd been unable to find a single tree.

This had happened frequently in the past and when it did one of the guys had to forfeit his ute which was ceremoniously torched to cook all the steers. Most of the steaks were half raw, but we were tough in those days.

On this particular year nobody found any trees, so the BNSP (President said "Who's going to sacrifice their ute?" No one put their hand up.

What happened next has never been proven, but has been the subject of many pub fights and arguments. In the momen t after the question a fly settled on Turbo's nose and he tried to brush it away, but others said he pointed at the Captain and the J230 was quickly dragged across to the pits and torched. It broke the Captain's heart; he'd built the thing up from a kit. Never mind that it was said to have 130 kg of bog in it before he managed to smooth the skin ripples, and the baffles were put on inside out, which gave him the coolest engine in the park, or that the undercarriage had been mounted at a slight angle which had you touching down like a crab, it was his work, his pride, and now it was ashes. It was a long walk home, not much was said, but Turbo had to carry the Stihl all the way to Wagga Wagga, where.........

........sell them tickets to the Booligal BNS where what happens on the Hay Plains stays on te Hay Plains, or used to before it was shown live to 83 million people in Eastern Europe, who could watch the girls killing the steers and cutting them up for the BBQ and the men laying out the thousands of stubbies, into a pyramid ready for the Stubbie Slide where the ........

......whines after the engine shuts down, and it’s unsettling the good people of Griffith, Mal, Merle and Mike, who could....

.........we've had a CASA FoI running through the orange groves looking for a reported low flying aircraft. It's been reported by tourists travelling through the town for years - a miltary style aeroplane beating up the place and ...............

...........Covid-19. "Our cell is much bigger than that" they said, but were sworn to silence by the...............

The Captain's actions in publishing an image of OneTrack caused three immediate Extradition requests from Queensland, NSW, and Victoria Police. Queensland's arrived last because the computer needed to do four passes on 60,000 very similar looking people before finally deciding they had their man. The offences all related to impersonating .................

........legend. "As you know Germaine" he said in a diversity-sensitive way, "I've taken a great interest in what happened to Earhardt's aircraft over the years, finding seven exploration trips when asked by various explorers. I'm not saying they were dills, but why would you be looking in the Alutians, Chile or Quebec; I'm afraid I did my money so I decided to fly the route she flew to the Island she was headed for, and there, stuck on a reef was the .....................

"........, which while being a stunning example of Corporate perfection, particularly the policy of two females to every male, we really should be ignoring Cappy and getting back to Avref subjects."

Turbo looked at her and said "I found Amelia Earhardt's aircraft." There was a stunned silence and Germaine, who had a history of promoting aviatrixes..................

.........blond, shapely, and good at making coffee. Turbo has won several Diversity Awards through the years making a good recovery when, during the Bra-burning Germaine Greer period when he walked into the office, looked around and said "Gee it's cold in here!" and saw 20 pairs of arms flash up at the same time. So he was smart enough not to specify a sex or age; he'd simply say "I don't think this job is right for you" or ....