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turboplanner

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Everything posted by turboplanner

  1. .....the show would be understood by the local communities as similar to their own. Turbo went to a few of the Grong Grong Country dances, and in his opinion was lucky to get out alive. "Carols by the Rock" at Christmas time wasn't much better..............
  2. ...............Cappy had always implied he was busy in talks with this Mogul or that Mogul, and always gave it's Leader a quiet wink. The people of the Riverina had become very protective of Cappy and were quick to shoo the Orange people away from "their" Captain Cook. The headlines of this week are a good example of what can be expected from the locals when Cappy is disturbed from his morning routine in the Riverina. It has indeed been a long time since those struggling days when Cappy and Turbo decided to lend a hand with the NES, and pulled their talents from writing Les Miserables, a movie to be shot around the Murrumbidgee River featuring Loxie with his muscular arms and gold locks, and a little scrubber from the Deni Muster Cappy had met one night and was pushing for the female lead, but ...........................
  3. ..........'d done a runner and was sipping coffee from a cup the size of a coke bottle lid in Ajaccio, Corsica. This was one of the few places Cappy hadn't lived in his time, and he had to check a map, but he was soon confidently warning that if the little prick didn't get back fasty and start bodyguarding like he was contracted to do, Cappy would give him a whiff of the Elastrator (which was what real people from the land call a de-nutting knife.) Brazzio reacted with a squeal that he was busy, and Cappy gave the elastrator a few squeezes. Once you've heard an elastrator being squeezed on a thousand lambs with pink nuts covering the grass by the stockyards, that sound over the phone leaves a lasting impression, and Brazzio knew there was nowhere to hide. He reluctantly packed his bag for the Riverina where there was double trouble with One Nation sacking its Riverina President before the locals got to taste andy real advantahe of the recent win in the polls. This worked for Cappy.....................................................
  4. ........joint activities, and both knew these weren't activities at the BoB joint. When Turbo parked the Challenger at Wagga Wagga International Airport, Chicken Farm and Safety Complex, he noticed Cappy's white Jab had a sign on the side "Safety Official". Cappy explained that he got $5000 a flight in note to fly along Billabong Creek and visit the green patches offering them fire protection for $10,000 per month. The first week was tough; most either shoved a shotgun barrel up his nose or said XXXX off! Then the first farm caught fire. Two thirteen year olds were seeing escaping on their new quad bikes but extensive questioning by detectives only threw up a couple of messages on the phone of one of the boys. Cappy's flights immediately became successfull as the "Traveller" moved from farm to farm selling Insurance policies. It was legit business; each farmer received an official Certificate from Cappy. He began to look at the more upmarket aircraft suitable for the back country, but one morning as he was sitting in his favourite sunny window in Bayliss Street................................
  5. .......so began one of the most dangerous eras in the Riverina, and it's history includes Ned Kelly. This was one of the frustrating times when Cappy wouldn't tell Turbo what he was doing. It wasn't that Cappy had to ask permission from Turbo, it was that all these top secret schemes seemed to drag Turbo in, usually in handcuffs. Cappy put down his mug of cocoa, ate a chcolat snowball, stared at Turbo for what seemed like ten minutes and ..........................
  6. ..........rest easy. He was sitting in the Bayliss St 1000Coffiesrus when a short, furtive, olive skinned man slinked in, sidled up to Cappy's table and said ".....................
  7. ....sometimes with BB pellets embedded in the fibreglass if they happen to stray into some of the bigger plantations where ...................
  8. .......the lower reaches of the rivers in South Australia where, along with Captain Sturt, Cappy's Billabong Creek flight is still revered and copied wherever possible. Many a cockatoo waking up from a night sitting on eggs in a gum hollow has crapped itself with the scream of an LSA55 following a creek at daybreak. It's also true that the South Australian Riverland is a fertile place to pick up recreational aircraft in working order except for the wings, and sometimes............................
  9. ......that it was creek as p!ss. Long, it is but a puny drain until it reaches the Henty Pub toilets where Google Earth shows it exploding into a large lake, driving west almost to Robinvale. The creeks and rivers in this part of Australia snake sideways trying to get some grade, then change their minds and snake back again. The Murray and Darling take about 3 kmn of river to get 1 km in the direction of travel. Cappy's brave creek trip in the Jackaroo 230 may have been missing a few bolts and seemed to have 1 leg shorter than the other but Capp drove it like it was stolen around every kilometre of bends at time chopping up the branches of gum trees, right to the end where there to greet him on this exciting achievement was Don Savage the BP Agent from Swan Hill with a can of Fosters. Turbo tried the people of Swan Hill hoping to get a thousand people there and a story in The Land, but ........................................
  10. ......help the farmers, who are doinmg it tough now with Wind Farms in their dairies, and no water to wash with slabs of coke, because the Murray Darling has run out, or even.....
  11. ........Tagging the ticket dude; something to remember for the next AUF event if there are ramp checks,or.......
  12. ........on. Plates of Spagbol flew past his ears and hit other indigenous diners who retaliated by aiming at the throwers, not Loxie. The quick Mediterranean tempers came to the boil with their name calling, finger gestures and base swearing. They started calling each other Wocks, but none of them were brave enough to fight. Loxie's party finished their meal and walked outas the insults continued. The locals didn't notive them go. Loxie was to tell friends later it was the best floorshow he'd ever seen. Way better than what he paid for at the BoB or ........
  13. .....Loxie wasn't one of those men, and didn't understand the pecking order. His mistake was loudly treating the family to "Dago Spaghetti" and it silenced the room. Locie knew something was wrong, but his years as Captain Fairie of Wagga Wagga prevented him making another gaffe when he .....................
  14. .........avoid the rattle of shotgun pellets hitting the coffee machine. Turbo has developed a dread of the sound of plastic chairs hitting concrete, and sometimes has nightmares about that. When he wakes up ................................
  15. ........some of the world's greatest influencers are wanting to get involved in the projects we humbly write about. Without giving anything away, and NES readers, please don't mention this you your friends but during one meeting with Elon, Turbo asked how the electric cars were going. Elon candidly admitted they'd made a mistake. "They're fine when they're stationary" Elon said, "but it's the fires that are holding us back, so we're working on a new model now without batteries." Talking to famous people like that is gold and Cappy quite often.....................
  16. .........die out if people ate them. Not many people know that the massive fall in popularity of Labor and the Greens is due to that Great Fish and Chip Statesperson xxxxxxxxxxx. whose One Nation team has been letterboxing Australia with a leaflet showing her red hair in a photo of a Rock Lobster in cooked red. People have been trying them, love them, and voting for them. These people have obviously missed the message "Brains in its axxx and a head full of xxxt", but the WA rock lobster market is thriving, and Turbine Rock Lobster farms, incubating millions of RL eggs will be able to supply the world withing the next six months. The only issue has been the hatchlings which come out of the eggs and flick their tails heading north, south, east and west, however, Turbine Driving is training throroughbred Kelpies fitted with masks and snorkels, to round them up and the outlook for high volume production is ................
  17. xicating as that fear seems to be for WAs who keep jumping into the jaws of GWSs month after month in WA. It was that great surfing legend Kelly Cook who finally overcame the Great White Shark problem by ........................
  18. .........set of N65 injectors. PO Joe's problem was CCVIII, that dastard who nearly stitched up his great grandmother; you have to be carefull with time machines. PO Joe was just the Kepper of the Key. It was Sir Horatio Turbine who was in charge of the door, and he was known for slipping in and out buying cheap wines, taking them through the door, selling then as aged wine for $3,000 a bottle, and then walking back through the door, his pockets bulging with cash which he.......
  19. ........Caribbean. They found 178 people whose surnames were "Cook"...............................
  20. ......to the available food which tasted much better without the rat droppings. Garad was confused because this detour to Tasmania. It was imperative that Lloyds didn't find out what was going on, so Sir Joshua Turbine, an old Etonian "had a word" with Sir Angus Taylor III, a Western District Victoria Baron - he owned it and was also an old Etonian, Sir Garad was knighted by email and given the post of Governor of Tasmania and New Zealand, and no one ever found out about the Latitude and Longitude of the Time Door. It was almost discovered when it was thought that Captain Cook VIII might be about to become the father of his own great grandfather, but nothing came of it, and the Golden Star just moved along with trip times similar to a Boeing 707 until one .............
  21. .........the natives were friendly. There were many ships logs handed to the CASA of the 1800s - Lloyds of London. You would think anyone could do the maths and see tese ships were doing closer to 100 knots to make the schedules they were claiming. It was Garrad Lloyd himself who decided to check out what was going on and he was shocked ...................
  22. .......when you make the Yard Arm, you make the rules. Not many people know that in the sailing ship days, one or two sailors were usually flicked off the yard arm in rough seas; the saying means that if a person had survived many crossings, he knew what he was doing and had the right to tell others what to do. Attached is a photo of George Turbine's "Gold Star" which he built himself a lot faster than people take to build a tiny recreational aircraft today. This gives NES viewers an idea of the enormous height and swing which was the sailors daily workplace, they not only had to hang on, but tie every different knot known to man while hanging upside down by the knee and keeping salt water out of their nostrils at the same time. These Tea Clippers flew [avref] from London to China at a speed of 17.5 knots (about the same as Cappy's Facet Opal [avref]) and ......
  23. .....the horrible sight of a group of sailors after they climbed up to the Yard Arm smoking and talking and lookig from underneath like a row of Rhesus Monkeys ....................
  24. .....found on Cook's ship, The Bounty, and cut spear making time by weeks using the old method of sand grinding which was also hard on the hands and could lead to ..............
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