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turboplanner

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Everything posted by turboplanner

  1. .......fish and chip wrapper; steak on the inside, but having to eat greasy paper to get there. Pauline knew this of course, so she came out with Paperless Steak, supplied very cheaply by Turbine Paperless Steak Company - We give you Bull every day! Pty Ltd. But those in the financial industry who knew the parent company structure wondered .......................
  2. .......Barnaby Joyce who decided to leave the NATS after being banned from all paddocks in Australia for low flying a Thruster while on his back snoring. He has reacted harshly for being banned from ........................ Turbo has been down in the hills of southern Victoria checking out fire trucks and coming up with better systems such as fitting them with water tanks.
  3. ......bite like a Viper. Turbo himself started this company, even though it meant 7 years of uni plus another 10 years as an intern which declared "served" because he owned the company. Turbo had learnt his craft as the State Tribunals began to be infested by lawyers. For example an outrageous block of land covered in old junk including dozer tracks, blades, seized petrol starter motors stacks of grousers and weed shoulder high in which rats, mice and snakes bred was not a dump to be cleaned up as Mr Smithers of Dob and Inn, had said, but by definition an active Depot and therefore not able to be changed in any way. And that was at the Practice Meeting before the case even started, so they all went home after fifteen minutes. The AA Skipper had good reason to be confident, but...................
  4. Turbo took his friend and close workmate Nobushi to Ballarat for a conference one day. They arrived early, so Turbo took him to the memorial site of those brave miners. Nobushi, after taking 34 photos burst into tears bowing profusely and said "Did we do this Turbo"? Such were the school lessons taught in Japanese schools about WW II. "NEBBER AGAIN!!! the teacher would chant and the students would repeat it sincerely, not having the faintest clue what it meant.
  5. You'll be waiting.
  6. .....little boys with machetes. That happened at the Bendigo Primary School and I just belted them with my skipping rope. Just get a skipping rope for each Constable and problem fixed, and she went back to glaring at the next person. Meanwhile a CASA FOI, bored with making it hard for recreational jockeys, had ramp checked an American Airlines aircraft which was just about to take off and.............. Clearly our old friend Cappy has had some run ins with Vicpol's highway patrol BMWs, who hate pink Suzukis doing 235 km through the main street of Wangaratta. Not many know that everyone in the Highway Patrol is a patched bikie on their days off and of course every one of them was an expert mechanic (Harleys do that to you). So it was natural that when Turbo asked them how the Lanz Bulldogs were going they pleaded with him to show them how to make them go faster. Turbo taught them all how to open the pump up until the exhaust was pouring jet black smoke under acceleration, and he supplied them all with the Anti-ICC Peterbilt chips to take them up to 295 km/hr (Turbo was smart enough to to let them match the 305 of the Corvette). They all made a fortune fixing Kias, mainly through conducting an official roadworthy first.
  7. .....report for duty on Monday morning. Monday night's TV News had to be extended to cover "issues" within Vicpol, CASA and Turbine Security. There was a photo of a Vicpol officer pulling over a car then getting the driver to step out and taking off with it, leading to a police chase which lasted for .....................
  8. .......gain an amazing sense of power, just through staring at someone, except the ones with machetes. They had free...................
  9. .......stratosphere; and a new method, "Whipped-Slaves" was adopted by some of the cheap-skates. They could run quite well, and not many people know they were the origin of the American trend of an external water bottle glued to the hand wherever they went. They carried the hieroglyphs on their backs in what they called "backpacks". The weak link in the chain were the "slave masters" who had to run carrying and cracking the whip all day. This led to .......
  10. .........his habit of hieroglyphing anything. He'd be riding along on his chariot and see a new pyramid, so he'd stop and hieroglyph it. If someone was herding some goats, he'd hieroglyph it. If there was an important funeral he'd hieroglyph it from two angles. Some of these hieroglyphs took a fortnight in the heat to complete. You can imagine the odours at times and the cost of sweetmeats for the crew. So when Khakpyrus saw the new cow stamped papyrus, he searched Egypt until he found an old white ink mine, and with the new system was able to finish each one in a day. Khakpyrus sent he new scrolls all over the world which started at Alexandria and ended at Timbuctoo where they eat their young. He got replies and sent more and soon there were Fast Camels running all over the world. They called it the *NET and it ....................................
  11. That all changed after he put up a screen in the paddock and ran a video showing the stages of an Abbatoir.
  12. ......present for Auntie Geraldine, known over here as the nutcracker. And so, NES readers, we get a view of a typical week in the life of a West Australian. Not something us people from the East, and of course islanders would like to contemplate. bull went back out in the prawn trawler where he knew he could earn the price of a new Mustang+ in metallic bronze every trip, Cappy pulled out his old Quicksilver 103, hosed the chook crap off the wings and did a few laps before the Bluehead seized, and Turbo went back to do an inspection on the original cat farm, and found it in good order. At their weekly meeting where they discussed their various endeavours Cappy pointed to his Quicksilver and the gaping holes in the wing and said he couldn't buy fabric anywhere. Turbo suggested making it from the waste products of their various businesses, but nothing fitted. Cappy remembered using tissue paper and dope on his control line planes and he'd never had a wing fail (of course they all crashed before they were a few hours old, but no one wanted to point that out. So they decided to make paper, building a low concrete bath, water supply, loading it with wheat stalks and locking a cow in there to constantly trample the stalks into mulch, like the old Scottish and English Vat men used to do. The water was drained the cow shooed out and they took out the first sheet of paper to dry. It was coloured khaki, but that wasn't...........................
  13. Sam's got an even better one now; it's AI showing him walking around Arnhem Lane like Crocodile Dundee in a pair of shots and a big knife on his hip.
  14. ..b................
  15. ....."need......."
  16. ..........Classic Cats vault. As we know it's early days for AI, and sometimes things can go horribly wrong. So it was that OT sent a Message to Abfullahi saying: "......................
  17. .......practice Morton talks about? OT being a WA "Townie" meaning anyone who isn't a Ringer in WA, didn't know, but there was going to be a dollar in this, so OT made up a horrific story that every male in WA had to go through this procedure, but he'd organise an anaesthetic for Abdullahi, and three maidens at the end of it. He didn't point out the obvious and Abfullahi didn't pick it up, and said he was coming out in two days time for the operation. This was a problem for OT so he googled how to ....................
  18. ....Native Australian, since they were in the process of taking over the Country. He'd heard each one was worth over ten million dollars, and the plan was to sail to Australia, take over and part each one from his cash. Morton got to hear about it listening to the WA news between his Story Telliong on radio. If you've ever heard Morton, he's ...............
  19. .....That's the limit of clear sight for Drifter drivers and the screen flashed and there was a thump as the Sarge's chair flew over; the Aunties started bashing each other and ....................
  20. Zoom, where people wear makeup and have their hair done and buy $10,000.00 just to look the part. This controller was up with the best of them with his hair shorn on one side, apart from three little squares of hair perhaps to signify he was the Sergeant of the Zoom meeting. He ..........
  21. ....waited for the Aunties. A fight broke out between three of them, and was about to spread when Turbo broke in, gave them all a thousand yard stare, and with a dose of whiteline fever, calmed them all down, made them tremble and pay close attention to every word he said. This wasn't hard because he only said one word and then nodded off to sleep, one of the problems of the modern-era Zoom meetings which did everything but zoom. "What you lookin at bro!" yelled Auntie Sylvia-Jo. Turbo heard that well-known voice through the fog of slumber, and before he could stop himself he said "Just wondering how much effort it must be to carry those huge bum cheeks around all day" Sylvia-Jo, born in Cummamulla could swear..................
  22. ....orgive me father, for what I am about to do, gave the Gendarme a thousand yard stare, trod on his spear, bent the boomerang straight, gave him a number one haircat and a bag of jellie beans and told him to tell Aunty Joan she was as fat as a packet of jelly beans. "Don't I have to tell her more or explain what the jelly beans mean" said the Gendarme. "She'll Understand" replied Turbo with a 200 yard stare. ("That's about what he'll need as a start when Auntie fores up" he thought) and sure enough........
  23. .....an easy run compared to towing a car up to the Gipa Gupa Mission for the Deadly 100 where the only rule was to finish and they weren't particular whether you finished the race, The Stewards were all Aunties so no one jumped the start or put a tyre onto the infield. He thought the French would be easy after that and when he came up out of the tunnel that seemed true, when crowds started to line the streets yelling Turbois! , Turbois, greatement alors merci!!!!! Then it happened; a Gendarme with a black uniform and a silly round hat waved him to a stop. "Your Bedforde making de smorke!" he said ominously pulling out his book. Turbo, in the nicest way said "That's what Bedfords do" and the Gendarme puffed himself up like a French Foreign Legionaire with Legionaire's disease and.......... Interesting comments back there about Turbo's thousand yard stare; this may be why he hits the Turn 1 fence every race, And Eaton, which reminded Turbo of a real life incident when he went to the school sports day recently. A well dressed old genlteman was standing in the hot dog queue with Turbo, who turned and greeted him. There was no "hello" response, just "Ay went too EEEEaton!" Turbo used the thousand yard stare and sad "You POOR man!"....... and left him wondering, but carefully watching Turbo for the rest of the day.
  24. There are, and were plenty of people around who thought that a Limited Company was better than an Incorporated Association. There were plenty of opinions from "You don't have a dog and bark yourself" to "we're not a cricket club"; none of them produced the documents or comparison charts, yet here we are all sore and unhappy once again..................... As I recall, there was no discussion about Federal jurisdiction furphy or not because the Federal Government can't interfere with State Government jurisdiction. The RAA Inc members had incorporated in the ACT which is a separate Territory, as a democratic decision. They could have chosen any State or Territory, and they could have had a National Committee based in one of them and each State/Territory registering an Incorporated Association. Many Incorporated Associations register their National Arm in the ACT and the Presidents of the States and Territories form the Committee and elect a National President. There are dozens of ways to set it up. However currently I'm reading it that no one is particularly interested in doing the work to campaign and change the structure.
  25. Well where did your "RAA insurance public liability is only good for $1 million" come from? If its confirmed every member is covered for $20 million that suits most. You just have to stay away from Fifo and Charter airports like Roma where if you knock down Dash 8 by picking the wrong approach and runway the familes of about 85 people could be claiming. The safety messages are simply to warn the person there is a different risk to flying in a 747 - gives him or her the option of stepping out. I've given examples in the past on payouts for: 1. No safety warning and the plaintiff succeeded. 2. Safety Warning and the plaintiff succeeded. 3. Safety Warning but failure to advertise the plaintiff was told he could sue succeeded.
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