turboplanner

....not Chinese.

"Yes it is" said Wong. "Not it's not" said Xi and this went on for 30 minutes because Chinese cannot afford to lose face.

Finally, Wong, who was staring a job at the sale mines in Mongolia, suggested "If it didn't have a Toyota engine would it be Chinese?"

"Of course" said Xi, smiling and 30,000 Toyota engines were dumped off the swimming pier at Tianjin, which meant you now had to be very careful not to kick downwards around the pier.

So now they needed to find an engine for the Haval as well as the aircraft, and up stepped Bex with ....................

.....get your act together!"

"You're a XXXXXXX idiot!" responded CT and Cappy smacked him in the teeth with a digital torque wrench.

CT pick up a heavy duty 25 mm socket and threw it straingt at Cappy, hitting in the fruit salad.

Turbo, trying to cool things down very nicely explained to Cappy that the 1 tonne Cummins engine might be slightly too heavy for the Haval springs, and got a DeWalt 1950 ft/lbs in the guts for his trouble.

Meanwhile the Chinese senior group including the dead one, were meeting to discuss a good time to invade Australia.

Xi Jinping (known to the group behind his back as "Jumping Jack") They had been following WreckFlying for a year now, and believed tyhe discussions here representated the true Australians, kind, gentle, able to get along with each other, and able to take orders and communicate with Chinese Prefects, should they invade (after all 30,000 chinese takeaway shops have been getting by.)

Their plans had been set back 18 months by the clever military campaign in the Spratleys where the NES team using  Corsairs they built from the serial plate up, sank a Chinese aircraft carrier, "The Cooked".

Now XI blinked; "this behaviour ominous" he said, and all agreed they would be better off attacking Trump, not realising that Donald Trump, Cappy's idol had been robbed and was now campaigning for 2024.

His Foreign Minister, Tac Se Ples, suggested ................

.......disembowel him, and those who know Cappy, know that at certain times of the day it's not very comfortable bing around him or trying to listen to iTunes. This was one of those times, and Turbo ran trying to het as far away as he could before the odour plume started taking out civilians.

He heard a terrible squeal which sounded like Cappy, but it was a young boar who raced past on three legs, the fourth hanging down limply and blood streaming from his notrils. This was followed by..............

...avings which even catch out experienced pig farmers a times because pig shavings slide so easily on concrete floors, which are sprayed and perfumed twice a day.

The pigs were were sliding faster than the Seskatchewan Blockers headed for a goal, and, by Newton's law of physics caught up and passed the enraged Labrador at the 40 metre mark.

Cappy now faced a serious mass of sliding bodies, one with teeth that could .................

........dropped their loads just as the Lab arrived and skidded ............

.......garden and the Rolls.

One of the truffle pigs bit the Labrador by mistake (pigs have very short sight), and his DNA wiring kicked in, turning him from a kid's most trusted companion to the attack dog he was bred to be in a nanosecond and he went for Cappy's throat.

appy just had time to yell "Sit!", but .............

.................but before he could finish, Eleanor, aged 87 and half blind yelled "TRUFFLES".........................

....disappointing, want my money back, deflating, such a little thing, a let down, bent, not up to the description on the box, damaged goods, yellow, and .....................

.......squeezed under his left armpit. With his hands he was feverishly cutting a crude star knife at a quality similar to an RA pilot building a Jab kit. This left him holding the nappy in his teeth and the Colt gripped between his upper thighs (female Commonwealth MP ref).

Nob swung the knife in a near invisible arc, but missed and the follow-through drove the knife into the trigger of the Colt which sprayed out a cloud of burnt black powder and drove a 9 mm furrow further up Cappys inner thigh, coming out at waist level and jerking the nappy out of his mouth taking with it his left mandible and right incisor.

He didn't know whether to scream or spit blood, but before he could do either, Nob yelled "Aussie Plick!!! and his boot came up.........................

.......the Sato province renamed Turbine County."

Nob's eyes bulged at this Americanisn and he said "He not, is he?"

Cappy sank the knife in with "He is!"

Normally that would have worked, but Nob had been to war several times with Turbo, they'd saved each other's lives and the two had dressed up as painters, taken their van into the Kure Museum at Hiroshima and taken out the interior of the Zero which is on display there, replacing the engine with a Volkswagen engine, using 2" pipe for the guns, and finally after two months near impossible working, taken the Zero Skin off the outside, making a mould then a skin in FRP, trimming it and slipping it over the aircraft before dawn. Security staff on the dawn shift remarked how much better the Zero looked now that it was painted.

Nob looked at Cappy with that WW II look, and Cappy started to shake. He ducked as the knife swished past; Nobushi was a Samurai and Cappy knew this fight was going to the death. He grabbed a postcard from the desk....................

3 hours ago, Captain said:

..... upset when his statues show him wearing jodpurs, & a depressingly low crutch line, as this one does in ......

.....Japan. Nobushi in the nicest possible way, corrected Cappy and said "He wearing Kanzai Ichiban" which means a very famous costume only awarded to the mightiest Warriors. "It might look ridiculous to us" he said, nodding at Cappy, "but its an unbelievable chick magnet in the streets of Japan, and ..........................."

......modify the sculptor's work. The mistake they made was choosing the local panel beater to do the work.

He cut the tuna off with an angle grinder, and made a shark out of six Matsuda "Tough" front numbers. It looked more like a eater heater so they had to get him to weld the tuna back on, and OT's  snapshot is  current one of Turbo golding the Tuna, but no one in Kesennuma mentions it today. Speaking of whips, as OT was, astute NES readers will remember that OT whips in his internecine jabs very subtly. What Turbo is holding in his hand is not a whip, but a large fishing rod. Turbo always goes after his gamefish single handed, and always gets ...............................

Honolulu, cruise out to Waikiki, and catch a few rays before .............

.......the next dealer conference at Esperance where dealers from all over Australia will be entertained by a morning run out to the three mile and back, "lunch with the Quokkas" where they will eat mutton bird sandwiches and view the two Quokkas, a motivational speech, "How I discovered Yoga" by Gina Reinhardt, a spitting competition at the evening dinner followed by the Ernie Dongo show where Ernie explains how he came up with the Smoking Ceremony, and his imitation of a didjeridoo, a cricket bat handout and training entitled "How to bat away objections to buying a Havel" by cricketer Ian Chapple's financial advisor, and important closing address by the head of Havel, Chairman Oi Lee Leeq. 

OTs problem was that the New Zealand dealers were also coming and ....................

..........and even further with the 1200 badge denoting the Haval must be pulled by 1200 Chinese men at the trot. The problem came when they all started talking about last nights basball game, and ..................

42 minutes ago, Captain said:

And that is apparently what Mrs Cappy enjoys so much too, during her "discussions" with Turbs.

........who told Cappy he'd never seen Mrs Cappy at one of these luncheons; that the only woman with silver heair he'd seen was Bob Chatterly's mother who used to visit quite frequently about the same time he was greeting visitors up at the house, a half mile away, although ..................

.............lunch bills for several years. Turbo's lunches are legend with the Czars of Indusry, Federal Ministers el al getting a snout in the through, and after a couple of hours.......................

.........Cappy used his own experience with his One Wing Airlines which had just gone around in circles until it splashed down owing Reg Ansett millions of pounds, and forced Reg to do a deal with the much bigger and flashier Australian National Airlines (respects to staff past and present) which offered a smoking ceremony at the door, courtesy the big radial engines, and fried yams and grubs for lunch. It was ANA which ........................

.......who are always in it to make a dollar too, and Cappy was thinking of setting up a factory to make Polarizer sunglasses, that's just the way he is until ..................

........got a bit slow on the track.

Not many people know that what was inside the box was a ..........

[Regular NES readers will have noticed that th giant Rat has turned into a little yellow mouse with a bandaged hand. Cappy's wife  mentioned this transition every time saw Turbo, asking what she could do about it, but Turbo was diplomatic as always, sympathising with Cappy's problem]

4 hours ago, FlyBoy1960 said:

CASA is there is a safety regulator. To get the absolute best safety results you need to minimise your exposure. In  this case if you stop aircraft from flying then you are significantly reducing your exposure risk.

It can only be in their interests to reduce their risk exposure by stopping GA and recreational aviation for the reasons given above

That's the Chooky Looky "sky is falling version" which has been repeated generation by generation since the original flying doctor pulled his stunts.

4 hours ago, Captain said:

I wonder if there will be one OT. A 10,000 jump instructor friend of mine was killed in a somewhat similar tandem jump at Wilton in 2017 and I have never been able to find any authoritative report. Or does the Coroner sometimes take this long to investigate such accidents?

Sometimes longer, sometimes just slips the report in the rack and that's where it stays. I've been waiting for one where a truck driver was killed when he connected the brakes on an old model truck, where compressed air pushes the park brakes on to an new trailer where compressed air pushes the trailer brakes off. Pretty important for a solution to be found for the industry, but not on the prioity list for the State Coroner.

1 hour ago, poteroo said:

After a lifetime of flight planning, I have found a workable formula, (= rule-of-thumb), for dealing with wind.

 

Halve the tailwind component that you have calculated, and double the headwind that you calculate.

 

happy days,

You should write a Thesis on that and call it Dark Aeronautics; Melbourne Unit would probably give you a Masters in aeronautics for that.

...........or should we just go for the usual deceptive sort of honest sort of deceptive idea of galvanising the blocks to hint that the bores never rus, and ................

2 hours ago, F10 said:

My rental hanger has a dirt floor, with carpets over it, recently noticed a lot of condensation on the engine, after a old night, which was alarming! I keep the aircraft under cloth covers. Recently put a blue plastic tarp over it, in winter only, due to dripping condensation from the hangar roof🤨...in summer it’s all good and does give great rain and wind protection of course. But, lots of different opinions on the net...some say heaters good..but others insist they make corrosion worse...I agree with, “run the engine at least once a week”....that means fly it, not a short run, that’s also bad...I close up the cowling, should I bung the exhausts? Tough one.....

I have a lot of farm machinery in a big shed which is part concrete floor. There's an old rule in farming that equipment parked on concrete doesn't rust and parked on the dirt section, does, and that includes things like Sidchrome tools. Things like shovels, mattocks, picks take on that antique look with fine speckled rust after a few years, so I rotate equipment and regularly sand and paint items stored above the dirt. The moisture is drawn up through the ground and I presume evaporates upwards throughout the warm day.

The whole shed gets the condensation you describe on the underside of the roof, but the tools and equipment on the concrete don't rust.

Where I've needed to store something expensive on the dirt, I've pegged a tarp out on the ground and that works.

Maybe you could experiment by pegging out a small tarp and put some things that rust quickly on it and some straight on the dirt, or just peg a big tarp out, put your aircraft on it and see if it makes a big difference.

........there was a young janitor cleaning the floor. The judge grabbed the janitor's bucket of water and slid it across the floor.

It hit the witch doctor on his ankle bone, sending a spout of hot water up his grass skirt, scorching his fruit and making him drop the Cassowary bone. Turbo in a flash grabbed the bone pointed it at the WD and he dissolved. Turbo quickly slipped the bone into his pocket; it was to become the decidinf factor in many boardroom squabbles over the years, leading to .......