planedriver

Love it Chucky:laugh:

So much truth in those wise words, i've printed it on A16 paper and pasted to my bed head in case my glasses fall off.

Don't waste time with the starch-dip Doug-----------Superhold Hair Spray from Woolies works a treat. Just make sure your partner does'nt smoke in bed, or you could wind up with too big a bang for the buck;)

Kind Regards

Planey

His mate PC Plodd who was on duty, so couldnt show any favours.;);););)

However, he did say "Don't worry about Richard Cranium the ASIC guy, he's just full of sierra hotel india tango, and he has no jurisdiction on my patch.

Plodd who'd earlier been washing his JabbyRoo with Maxicrop trying to grow it it into a J160 or J230 so MrsPlodd could take her 15 handbags and 22prs of shoes for a weekend flyaway, said " If you lend me your bird for the weekend, i'm sure I can sort this problem out for you.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

MiffedoffPete was quite taken back by these remarks :yuk:and rightly so, and pointed out that he was not prepared to "share" the one who fixes up his fuel bill.

"No No No" proclaimed Plodd. You see i've been invited to give a boot-scooting demo at the Victorian Police Christmas Party, and wanted to arrive in style to impress the lady Commisioner. I thought if you'd like to offer me the use of your pride and joy, i'd give it a quick coat of pink paint with a roller that was on special at Bunnings and with all the lights and a bit of tinsel, she'd look favourably on me as a possible deputy.

There'd be no point in asking turboplanner for advise as he is too busy telling us all about "squirtalot" his dog, or, is he just taking the p:censored: out of us NES storytellers:question:

Maybe (not that there's anything wrong with that) Le Crappy can also offer some advise as he's always very wise in such situations.

Meanwhile Biggles is desparately consulting the crystal ball to find his whereabouts, and also trying to get a fix, using his Mickey Mouse watch, by lining the small hand with the Southern Cross and the big hand with Dan Murpheys bottle shop.

Geez that was quick got beaten to the post.

Bloody Turbo's turned up the gate valve again:big_grin:

You should be safe, I don't think it's hooked on my G string, just pluck it and see;)

While BuskerBigglesWorth practices playing "The flight of the bumblebee" on his new ukelele setup, he has a wry grin :big_grin:on his face at the thought of all those intrepid flyers searching for YJCR.

He is now designing an inverter to drive his mums one cup at a time coffee jug for use at Avalon. All you caffine junkies out there had better be nice to him if you want a cup, and it's BYOB (bring your own bikkies) and dont forget to throw your gold coin donation into the ukelele case, so he can get home after the shows over.

So there you have it, The Cheeta Catering Corp. The one with the spots on is where you should be able to get a steak sandwich off slarti's hot plate, and the green one for the hot coffee to wash the fat down.:thumb_up:

For those wishing to say G'day to turboplanner, he'll be the one standing proudly by the new Jabiru, looking as though it's in the stall position while on the ground, with the oversize John Deer nosewheel.

Now that looks really nice. You did a great job with the Solarfilm, and I love the colour scheme.

It takes me back to the early 1960's when I built a Mig15 complete with with home-built radio gear. It flew well with a good hand launch until the ducted fan disintegrated and it all floated back down like it had been through the garden shredder.

Good luck, and try to keep it looking as good as it does now.

Kind Regards

Alan

Nearly died just laughing:laugh:

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. :big_grin:

The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

Joe was shocked and depressed.. He wondered if he had anything to live for.

He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... a new suit.'

He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'

The elderly tailor eye'd him briefly and said, 'Let's see... size 44 long.'

Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit and it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36.

Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'

Welcome Nick,

Lots to learn here from others, and good fun along the way.

Just for the record, we don't all fly inverted here.

Regards

Alan (ex Wimbledon tennis player-----even if was only at the local park)

A little Aussie man was sitting quietly having a drink at a bar in Sydney when this huge, burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Aussie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor.The big, burly Yank says,"That's a karate chop from Korea." Well, the Aussie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer.

The burly Yank then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Aussie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor."That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.

The Aussie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and sees the burly Yank still sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and smacks him on the head, knocking him out.

The Aussie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up mate, tell him that was a $2 crowbar from Bunnings."

The Riverland lass has had a re-think about attending Narromine and simply boosting planey's ego, just to get cheap accomodation.

It is probably better that she has decided to share herself around (as she always has in the past) and enjoy everyones company.

Planey booked a room with a double bed, and only needing half of it, made the girl an offer.

She originally honoured the offer, and it was hoped that it would be a weekend of "honour and offer".

Accomodation in town for the Easter weekend is filling up fast, so anyone needing to book, should do so ASAP.

To quote BigPete------- We need Prior Preparation Plus Planning Preventing Piss Poor Performance - (the eight P's), or as my kiwi mate would say "-t, shud hiv thunk aboot tit sex months ago"

Regards Planey

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day just before Christmas, a letter landed on his desk, simply addressed in shaky handwriting to "God".

With no other clue on the envelope, he opened the letter and read, "Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on the State pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had in the world and no pension due until after Christmas.

Next week is Christmas and I had invited two of my friends over for Xmas dinner.

Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. God; can you please help me?"

The postal worker was really touched, and put a copy of the letter up on the Staff Notice board, at the main sorting office where he worked.

The letter touched the other postmen and they all dug into their pockets and had a whip round.

Between them they raised $96.

Using an official franked Post Office envelope, they sent the cash on to the old lady, and for the rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter simply addressed to "God" landed in the Sorting Office. Many of the postmen gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read, "Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?

Because of your generosity, I was able to provide a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift - in fact we haven't gotten over it and our Vicar is beside himself with joy.

By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bast*rds at the Post Office."

Is'nt that what's called a warp-drive prop?

Not an idiot at all Ian. You know the saying "what goes up, must come down, and people on the ground have to beware of yellow rain near bosuns chairs.

By the way, did you work for a pommy guy who I think lives at Coffs Harbour, and owns a Beechcraft Sundowner? Because if so, I met him at The Oaks one Sunday and he gave my girlfriend a ride back to Hoxton Park.

He was into lightning protection and did the Sydney Opera House.

Regards

Planey

First Indian astronaut returns safely to earth.

Hey CCCCCCCaptain,

Sorry, but I think I might have have caught PPPPPPetes ssssstuterbug. Maybe its a Victorian thing.

I've been away to MMMMMelbourne for a week ,and waved to everyone as the Virgin flew me over the top. I returned to expect lots of posts saying they'd seen me give a friendly wave but not a bloody thing.

I've just confirmed my double-room booking for Narromine under the name of Mr & Mrs Riverland, so hope your all a lot friendlier if I / we should see you out there:sad:

Regards

Planey

So tell us all about it Ian, so we can judge;)

Regards

Planey

Sorry Thx1147,

I thought it was "dead funny".

Regards

Planey

Quote

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolise?"

The man replied, "These are Carols."

If you give me the authority, I might have to moderate this one.

Bye the way Ian, it was'nt St Peter-------------It was St Knickerless:laugh:

Kind regards

Planey

The Captain makes some very good points, as does BigPete, like wearing forum nametags.

With several of us wearing tags bearing the title "Most Moderated 2008", at least it narrows the field a bit to the ratbag few:laugh:

I suppose The Easter Bunny who keeps getting his long ears slammed in the canopy, should'nt be too hard to spot.

Now to the important bit.

Planey has a bit of a problem, and needs some advise from his mates. (if there really are any).

He's been offered a double room for the Narromine weekend, and suffering from a few aching muscles, wanted to get better value for his buck, by sharing with the Riverland Girl who could sooth his muscles at the end of the day.

However, she is knowwhere to be found:sad:, and he's not interesed in any offers from aviators who'd would wear a Julie Andrews wig just to get accomodation at the show:yuk::yuk::yuk:

I suspect that this thread has slowed down a bit as others may be trying to find her as well.

However, I have the nice smelling oils,;) soft music:heart: and even a box of romantic candles from the Asian $2 shop down the road, so other blokes don't stand much chance.

I won't be arriving in my own flying machine with three wheels:crying:, but possibly more like a one hundred wheeler, courtesy of State Rail on a pensioner ticket.

Anyway, I have reliable information that she's not a snob:question:

Get well soon PPPPPPPete, hope you manage to get over that sssssstuttering problem.

Kind regards

Planey

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.'

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the bloody skippin' .'

News Flash.

The planning of events for Narromine next Easter, is well under way.

Rumor has it;), that one of the star attractions to pull the crowds in, could be an appearance of The Easter Bunny:cool: arriving by the long awaited Millenium Master.

However, this attraction may well be outdone.

It is understood that the well known Riverland girl has agreed to to defy death, once again, by taking to the air suspended only by her knicker elastic from a Victorian based Jabiru, as she did by accident, after being hooked up during a fly-fishing trip some months ago.

This a real crowd puller, and an event not to be missed.

Due to safety concerns on approach, the barbed wire fence will this time, be temporarilly removed, to overcome the evertightening circuits flown when she got caught prior to touchdown, last time this feat occured.

McDonalds have set up a hotline for aerial-delivery of burgers, and all orders are expected to be delivered with free flies.

Hopefully our mate Slarti will be there with his flying BBQ cooking up his snagaroos, so nobody needs to go hungry.:thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up:

Please post your suggestions, for other ideas to help make this event a resounding success----------------------

Like all of us that don't get any younger, I quite understand.

Take good care of yourself and your Corby Mate.

Kind Regards

Planey

:star::yuk:"Come in Crappy Number 5, your time is up. Stop looking at Russian Girls that say they want to meet you.

"Come in Big Peter, which is what they're really after.

"Come in Geoff. By the way Bunnings have ceiling paint on special and you could always use a roller for a quick job, just to shut the boy's up.

Dont put up with their crap, i'm envious of what you've got anyway, for what it's worth.

Planey has had a few issues with his computer and thinks it could also do with a coat of newness (even with a roller).

hihosland has had time to think about posting longer posts about the "Ratbag Pack" who have kept this thing going.

Ben who always thinks a bit along the blue line, is either polishing his new toy beyond the gel-coat, mowing his strip in readiness for the RAA lawn inspectors, or, calculating the revenue from Friarpuks plonk sales at the next fly-in.

Paley's valued comments are also about to spark ino life, and hopefully many others too------------------------------------------------meanwhile.

PS. please note that I saved money by not using these ;):confused::big_grin::ah_oh::black_eye::):nerd:i_dunno:keen::thumb_up:thumb_down:censored: