The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

Hi, I'm Brad and I fly a Facet Opal from Holbrook and the Fords have got more cracks than Cappy's old J230.

There was a moment of silence, because as we know, it doesn't pay to backchat the Little Genius.

And then one of the faithful chirped up with "God made sh!t; Ford gave it wheels, and it was on ...................................

[Captain]

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

And then one of the faithful chirped up with "God made sh!t; Ford gave it wheels, and it was on ........

.... a T-shirt that said "Ah, Ford. Turning owners into Mechanics since 1935".

 

With that, the Ford ownership allegiance on here exceeded their dedicated NES allegiance and their affection for Turbo, when the nes's Ford owners posted their well known battle cry of "All 'Vette owners are wan......

[turboplanner]

..........but that's all anyone heard as the small block with direct cut gears howled (see video of Turbo's recent Lake work (he took a wrong turn just as it finished and ended up in someone's front garden but we don't need to dwell on that) and ................

 

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1893301417925180

[Captain]

.... meanwhile the ever loyal millions of Toyota fans, put their Gazoo Racing t-shirts on .....

[turboplanner]

.....and went out and bought Lexus Fs for the 5 litre V8 engine thinking it would roar like a Bathurst Toyota Supra. The Nascar Toyota Camrys are using 5.9 litre Toyota V8s and achieving 313 km/hr lap speeds. If anyone thought Soichiro Honda was driven, they haven't seen Nobushi Toyoda. It was watching Bathurst and thinking how GM will react to the V8 Toyota Pace Car, that Turbo remembered that Mark Reuss, President of GM crashed an Engineering Corvette worth $3 million, while leading the cars around for the start of Detroit Grand prix in 2018. Then, naturally, his mind drifted on to how we could run a Rec Fly Bathurst with a maximum 100 aircraft, limited fuel tanks so they would have to be  landed in pit straight, judged on correct radio calls, and subjected to a CASA Ramp Check every time they left the pits. The CASA guys would wear pink fire suits just to get them snarly. Flying height would be beat up height of 10 ft AGL all round the track. There would have to be some other rules, but .......................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... how we could run a Rec Fly Bathurst with a maximum 100 aircraft.....  judged on correct radio calls, and subjected to a CASA Ramp Check ......

Cappy invites all NESers to participate in a sweep to guess precisely how many AUFers would pass both of those checks.

[Captain]

..... those would be enough to cause severe consternation throughout the AUF community.

 

Based on the above post, Turbs appears to have a detailed and almost anal knowledge of GM history and NESers would be wise not to take him on, with regard to such matters.

 

The wonderful Toyota company, on the other hand, is well known for their Lexus V8's being used in dragsters in the US, without mods to the bottom end, and Crappy will be buying his lady friend a full bottle GR Corolla if she continues to be worthy.

 

Meanwhile the FORD and Mopar members of the NES are gnashing their teeth and waiting for an opportunity to (see at least one avref from Crappy) and to..... 

[turboplanner]

.....fly over to Sicily to see the new Mopar Ram being designed. Some say it has the fuselage of a Fiat 500 with an elevated tray and a Jackaroo air cooled engine. Early non-sourced information suggests it flys. After the weekend, Ford have decided to build Drifters, and ..........

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....fly over to Sicily to see the new Mopar Ram being designed. Some say it has the fuselage of a Fiat 500 with an elevated tray and a Jackaroo air cooled engine. Early non-sourced information suggests it flys. After the weekend, Ford have decided to build Drifters, and ..........

..... the AUF world rejoiced, as an excess supply of recreational aircraft can only be good for prices, and that's before BYD, Cherry, Golden Tiger, and Rising Sun Setting Moon got involved in the aircraft caper China. Consequently, All-Erectric Lecleational Airclaft were being sold on most street corners and 1.3 million Chinese bought into the Ultralight Aircraft Lifestyle (particurary the Uighurs, who pranned to buy them, fry them, then bugger off across the Himalayas.

 

Prefabricated 700 m strips were rolled out all over the country and a further 3 million orders were foreshadowed, so the AUF were appointed to run the CUF, and the CASA were then issued Mao suits to cover their usual "brown shirts" and they became ......

[turboplanner]

......upset when the hard working pilots, who had saved for a lifetime to buy one of these aircraft arced up like savage dogs. Discipline lapsed and some pilots even backchatted them until ...............

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......upset when the hard working pilots, who had saved for a lifetime to buy one of these aircraft arced up like savage dogs. Discipline lapsed and some pilots even backchatted them until ...............

.... those pilots were sent to a Uighur retraining camp, where CASA had been sending staff as warders for their 1st year in preparation for dealing with Aussie LAMEs and with upstart organizations like the AUF. (CAMS also uses the Uighur camps to train pit lane marshals and the little Aussie blokes in white coats who stand at the gate checking passes).

 

As a result, the Uighurs soon started to speak with Aussie accents, favour blonds, wear bikinis, and 

[turboplanner]

.......and it wasn't long before Australian truckies and Flying Club Presidents showed up looking for Aussie speaking, bikini wearing blond favorers and a new immigration wave started..........................

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......and it wasn't long before Australian truckies and Flying Club Presidents showed up looking for Aussie speaking, bikini wearing blond favorers and a new immigration wave started..........................

 

..... bringing in blonde Asians to fulfil the immediate needs of the Moorabbin sex trade.

 

However, with the increasing popularity of 1 Nation, red-heads were also in demand, so .....

[turboplanner]

.... people had begun changing their votes. Turbo stayed glued to the Coalition, attended all the fundraisers and went on the overseas junkets with the the Coalition leaders. Recently Turbo was a speaker at the Nice Convention and stayed at the same place as Gina. he wasn't swayed and upheld the Liberal values because.................

 

Photo of Turbo beside the pool at the convention.

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Recently Turbo was a speaker at the Nice Convention and stayed at the same place as Gina. he wasn't swayed and upheld the Liberal values because......

..... that's the type of guy that Turbo is.

 

Experienced NESers will note that the swim trunks & the hair also match the colour of the 'Vette perfectly, which has white piping and stitching on the upholstery just like those jocks that he is not filling out all that well, given the after-effects of roid abuse. You can also see why Tubb often uses the nom-deplume of Dave Hastlehoff in his posts on other forums (fora), such as Pee-Prune, and in the pages of LGBTQ Monthly Magazine.

 

NB - It is also unclear from that photo whether the carpet matches the drapes, so perhaps that hair colour has been enhanced, as he is sometimes want to do.

 

Tubb always favors those front-on shots, as from the rear you can often see a mark on those shorts of how & where the wound is still weeping a little.

 

At times, Turbo has often, in the past, also been tempted to join the Cuntry Party when Black-Jack McKeon was in charge, because Turbo used to be a real cuntry person and loved to .....

Edited Friday at 09:08 PM by Captain

[bull]

10 hours ago, Captain said:

because Turbo used to be a real cuntry person and loved to ....

.do just cunty things ,like that time he ....

[turboplanner]

.......decided to build a rally car and take on Bull in the Tasmanian BullPrawn Rally. He was busy at the time, so he flew the Challenger across and Bull took it for showing off, so he made every excuse to avoid showing Turbo the car. Everyone knows rally drives are crazy, so it's important to note the removal of throttle plates, different gearing, wider wheels, under-the dash nitromethane pumps etc. Bull managed to keep the car hidden all day and Turbo flew back none the wiser. On the first day of the rally, Turbo couldn't stop his car turning left; he couldn't work out ........................

[Captain]

On 17/10/2026 at 8:32 AM, turboplanner said:

Cappy notes that bull has replied to the NES shortly after Turbs posted the above selphie, but in true consistent NES style, all we can comment is NTTIAWWT ...... unless of course bull has PM'd Turbo with compromising material .............. although NTTIAWWTE, I guess.

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

On the first day of the rally, Turbo couldn't stop his car turning left; he couldn't work out ........

.... why until he remembered using a cheap Chinese knock-off front suspension member, and he had Bob Brown navigating for him, with a couple of Teals in the back seat (Turbs has always been a bit keen on Zali, and what she does to Mogels, of which Turbo is one).

 

Turbo fought the wheel to counter these tendencies and when he .....

[turboplanner]

.......let go, they were all over......................

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.... let go, they were all over ....

... the road, like a Saturday night cruise down Lygon St and St Kilda Rd, where Turbo is always/invariably and inveterately the star attraction, doing donuts and associated 600 m long burnouts in the 'Vette, where he also .....

[turboplanner]

16 hours ago, Captain said:

... the road, like a Saturday night cruise down Lygon St and St Kilda Rd, where Turbo is always/invariably and inveterately the star attraction, doing donuts and associated 600 m long burnouts in the 'Vette, where he also .....

....charges $500 a ride for a burnout. Lygon St lights up when Formula One comes to Melbourne and, being an Italian precinct, the cheers and clapping when a Ferrari comes through coughing and smelling of injectors that are too big for the car.   When Turbo comes to town and that small block Chevy comes through at 7500 rpm the whole place erupts, the stoves are turned off, white hats line the road, the diners stand behind them, the sound from a thousand 357 Magnums nearly drowns out the Corvette and it's SMOKIN! time. The cops never show up, Muhammad Aboor is the Mayor and.....................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

When Turbo comes to town and that small block Chevy comes through at 7500 rpm the whole place erupts, the stoves are turned off, white hats line the road, the diners stand behind them, the sound from a thousand 357 Magnums nearly drowns out the Corvette and it's SMOKIN! time. The cops never show up, Muhammad Aboor is the Mayor and........

.... he is also the Importing Agent for Kelly Springfield.

 

Sheik Aboor did not import any tires with white sidewalls until Turbo insisted on them, so Tubb's tires now match the piping on the GM vinyl upholstery and stitching?

 

Tubb likes the special Kelly-Springfields that his mate and supplier, Aboor, gets for him because they have a strip of rubber down the middle that catches fire after 5 revolutions spinning on Lygon St tarmac & bullet casings, and not many people know that Turbs and his 'Vette performing his tricks on Lygon St and St Kilda Rd has been the inspiration for Elon's latest Tesla promo, and Elon has slipped Turbo a ......

[Captain]

Turbo regularly meets his mate Aboor at the MyCentre Coffee Shop & in the adjoining Peter Paul and Achmed Folk Song Cavern, in the Aisha Mosque, where Abu Hamza (known as Sam to Turbo and to his mates) often joins them and brings his own home-made baklava.

 

They get together every few days to shoot the breeze ..... and a couple of unlicensed AK's in the MyCentre's "Penny Wong Memorial Underground Rifle Range" (the MCPWMURR).

 

These meetings often shape Muslim Brotherhood policy, and they also often shape a few IED charges too.

Edited yesterday at 08:44 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

50 and asked Turbo's opinion of the flying car. Turbo referred him to Cappy because Turbo has never rolled a car, but he did give Elon some pointers on rolling a flying car even though prospective millionaire buys have been asking "Why would you want to do that and................