The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......discuss the subject with examples.

 

It was agreed the old Rg and Tuber had a point, and at the next Deni Ute Muster he had his own tent and made a fortune selling his product along with the plastic Commodores, Falcons, Valiants, and Brumbys, although the Brumby people were only allowed in the next paddock.

 

That evening after the campers had dragged their mallee roots out of the back and had the fires running and the VB flowing they noticed a little cluster off poor people lining the fence. The Ute Marshall went over thinking they were Deni locals, but, shivering they told him they flew the rag and tube. The Marshall quickly pulled the wires apart and told them to pick a fire, but he was careful toblock the Rag Heads and told them to Get ...............

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

That evening after the campers had dragged their mallee roots out of the back and had the fires running and the VB flowing they noticed a little cluster off poor people lining the fence. The Ute Marshall went over thinking they were Deni locals, but, shivering they told him they flew the rag and tube. The Marshall quickly pulled the wires apart and told them to pick a fire, but he was careful toblock the Rag Heads and told them to Get .......

.... their explosive vests & machetes checked at the cloak room, then immediately chug-a-lug a yard (914.3553794574825 mm) glass of VB to prove that they were worthy of admission to the muster.

 

The leading Rag Head then asked loudly, like they do, "أين يمكننا استئجار بعض الواقيات الذكرية وخيمة صغيرة؟ (Ayna yumkinunā isti'jāru baʿḍ al-wāqiyāt adh-dhakariyyah wa khaymatin ṣaghīrah?")

 

The Marshal, who was a member of the Deni Coffin Cheaters, so spoke arabic and was looking for a blue, said "You can't hire condoms here mate, but swags can be obtained from the CWA chicks in Bay ......

[turboplanner]

.......13.

Now everyone who's lived on the Land knows what Bay 13 is, and hopes they are never associated with it. Turbo came close when he was seventeen, but Cappy was too young and probably hasn't been told its real meaning, or how it is ...................

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......13.

Now everyone who's lived on the Land knows what Bay 13 is, and hopes they are never associated with it. Turbo came close when he was seventeen, but Cappy was too young and probably hasn't been told its real meaning, or how it is ...................

... so emblematic of the rascally Aussie spirit.

 

And that, dear Readers, is why so many people from the middle east apply to come to Australia, as they all also have a keen sense of dry humor, and love to laugh & chyack with the Aussies at musters and B&S balls, and while standing around Machete Bins having a milkshake.

 

On checking his calendar and his circadian rhythms, it is clear that when Turbo was 17, Cappy was merely embryonic, but he was soon able to call out typical Bay 13 smartarse things over the fence to Dougy Walters, say sarcastic pigeon fancier stuff to Bill Lawry, get tips for catching hot chicks from Warny, and to ......

[turboplanner]

.....thread his avid flyer through the gap between the low limb of the gum tree and the gate of the Bull Paddock, bounce, and come to a stop  in the mud in fromt of the Machinery Shed. [Turbo apologises for these Agrefs but it is slowly leading to the story of.....................

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....thread his avid flyer through the gap between the low limb of the gum tree and the gate of the Bull Paddock, bounce, and come to a stop  in the mud in fromt of the Machinery Shed. [Turbo apologises for these Agrefs but it is slowly leading to the story of.....................

..... Sir Sidney Kidman Turbine and the fact that Turbs was the only offspring that embraced the cattle baron lifestyle, although Turbo has been proven to be anything but baren as he circulated throughout the bush mustering his massive herd.

 

And now that Gina has become one of OZ's biggest cattle property owners, Turbo has set his sights to play in her garden too, by ......

[turboplanner]

.......offering to put cattle on her mining land for free to eat the weeds, but hasn't received a response just yet.............

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... offering to put cattle on her mining land for free to eat the weeds, but hasn't received a response just yet .....

.... because she is playing hard to get, and in addition, the Kidman Turbine clan had always been nasty to her dad, and she .....

[turboplanner]

........had deviously (and anyone who gives a plane to Pauline Hanson, saying only, "Don't get fish and chip oil all over it" HAS to be devious) joined one of Perth's notorious nightclubs, as a GO GO dancer, in the hope of snaring Sid Kidman IV who liked to kick up his heels after droving a mob of his cattle to the markets. As luck would have it.........

[Captain]

... Sid was on the make, although a little saddle sore, so he made a mental note to buy an R22 for the next droving task.

 

He would specify the R22 with a single central seat as, like Turbo, he is as bandy as a butcher's hook and needs the extra cabin space, because he can't ......

[turboplanner]

....get his knees in without winding don the windows and........

[Captain]

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....get his knees in without winding don the windows and........

.... when he does that the breeze goes straight up the leg of his stubbies, and blows his coordination indicator back through a 90 degree arc to lean 45 degrees to the left, and while Sid enjoys that and it puts a smile on his dial, he can't help but ......

Edited Sunday at 10:38 PM by Captain

[Captain]

19 hours ago, Captain said:

and while Sid enjoys that and it puts a smile on his dial, he can't help but .....

..... fly (avref) left hand down, until the wind blows in through the other door and his coordination pendulum swings back through 90, so as well as wearing out his jocks from the inside whenever he chooses to wear them, in a Robo this is almost .....

 

Below is a reconstruction of Sids flight, which shows off just the right skills for mustering.

Don't worry about the smoke, as 2 of the oil rings were stuck at the time in the Lycoming, but have come good now.

 

[turboplanner]

.......a waste of time because they have to be washed after each flight.

Not many people know that before Sir Sid I died he had become disillusioned with the younger generation of the family who didn't want to ride horses around the stock, but were using Bentleys. Sid actually told this to Sir Gordon Turbine who offered to buy all Sids holdings for cash. Sid jumped at it and the deal was done. At the time, Sid was the biggest land owner in the world, so Gordon's Christmas presents that year were carry overs from the previous year. You'll noitice young Sid is flying over barren land (he can't tell the difference) next to Turbo's thriving Canola crop, and ......

[Captain]

53 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

You'll noitice young Sid is flying over barren land (he can't tell the difference) next to Turbo's thriving Canola crop, and .....

.... not many people know that the Turbine Corporation control and are behind the Wilmar International company, which commands a 16.4% global market share in Margarine production and sales.

 

It was Turbo, the great industrialist, who initially chose the name "Marge" after one of his 1st loves (she took Turbo's raspberry during a torrid time together on the bonnet of the 'Vette), and this transitioned on to be named Margarine after he had an affair with Irene soon after Marge gave him the flick. (After Marge & Irene, he was addicted to "it" and has been ever since, such that the term was initially "nymphoturbiac" before it was changed to be multi-gender & non-Turbo specific).

 

It is also little known that the Turbine Canola Co have 100% plant breeder's rights over that crop and will not sell seeds to anyone else, so every yellow crop that you see, worldwide, is owned by our very own Tubb, and in that way he is the margarine boss of the world, and also the .....

 

The reason why Canola crops have such tough/hard stalks is because they designed it after Turbo's .... and he is therefore personally responsible for all of the glider wheel punctures from when they land-out in harvested Canola paddocks).

Edited Monday at 07:31 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

....supplier of Milk-O a product extracted from margarine to make baby milk. He invented this during the period when Go Go dancing was popular and young mothers ......

 

 

[The reason why Canola crops have such tough/hard stalks is because they designed it after Turbo's .... and he is therefore personally responsible for all of the glider wheel punctures from when they land-out in harvested Canola paddocks).]

 

Cappy has the story slightly wrong here. The popularity in recent years, and the reason you see Canola growing all over Australia now is to get rid of the ragheads who burst into genuine flying sites and bawl their rubbish, but also think they can fly into anyone's paddock and then complain the gate's in the wrong place.

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....supplier of Milk-O a product extracted from margarine to make baby milk. He invented this during the period when Go Go dancing was popular and young mothers ....

..... would leave their kids with Turbine Child Minding, so this provided free nippers on which to test the Milk-O labelled Margarine byeproducts.

 

Whenever the kids said Milk-Ohhhhhthattasteslikecrap, Tubb always insisted that 10 more nippers were tested before a definitive decision was taken.

 

There was a constant flow of new Milk-O products and formulations that came into OZ from Turbine Wuhan Labs PLC and it was only after Turbo moved production into old concentration camps in Ukraine & Belarus that the Wuhan lab was forced to go batshit crazy in association with some US dwarf who ......

[turboplanner]

clearly has offended Cappy at some stage, possibly during Covid when Wagga Wagga built stocks in Bayliss St and Constable would lock in anyone found without a mask. One day she caught Cappy. Turbo drove all the way up from Melbourne (with disspensation to get to a dying relative) carrying a bag of tomatoes to pay hoim back for that shot up the Khyber that he always jokes about. Turbo missed the first throw, but Cappy was right stirred up and ......................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo drove all the way up from Melbourne (with dispensation to get to a dying relative) carrying a bag of tomatoes to pay him back for that shot up the Khyber that he always jokes about. Turbo missed the first throw, but Cappy was right stirred up and ........

..... flexed his magnificent back, neck and arm muscles, the 5 big ABUS paddys broke, and the stocks burst asunder .... think about the Hulk but even more magnificenter. (This dear readers, including our thousands of international subscribers is believed to be the 1st time that the word "asunder" has been used in this beautiful tome) [Please also note that international subscriptions to the NES are available via Turbine International Subscriptions of Oman PL. Eean doesn't know that there is a quid being earnt from his NES (Eean is to blame for starting this), but he's such a good bloke that he won't mind].

 

With the stocks smashed forsooth, your Captain went down to the copshop to see Doubtfire and he stood betwixt the cell doors and her desk, where, reminded by Turbo's last post he said "Hey Doubty, did I ever tell you that I shot Tubb in the freckle with a three-oh up the Khyber?"

 

To which she replied "Why didn't you tell us earlier, as we have been trying to catch him red handed for between 6 & 8 decades, and if you can give us some ......

 

[turboplanner]

........evidence we can use in our duties."  This was not the old Doubtfire, and the heavy make up, neat uniform, clipped NPOL speech and lack of the usual expletives which some Waggans have described as like a tree chipper. Clearly she was looking for the Police Chief job.

 

It didn't work; Turbo had put a mini-bug in the first tomato, the remnants of which were stuck to Cappy's forehead.

 

Turbo sneaked around to the Station and grabbed the spike stick from the back of her van.............. 

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo sneaked around to the Station and grabbed the spike stick from the back of her van......

..... because after her relatively short time transferred to VicPol it was clear that she was speaking in riddles, just like Jazzy does, but more importantly, like all VicPol coppers, all they respect of physical force ................................ or cash (Apologies, or course, to any VicPol wallopers that have squirrelled away enough of that backhander/brown envelope cash to buy a recreational aircraft and are now enchanted by the NES).

 

Turbo took that spike stick and lined up to ......

[turboplanner]

.......belt Cappy in the buttocks which were glowing white from the Wagga frost.

At that moment his father's advice came to him "Never point a rifle at anyone, Gavin" and he wished he'd never been playing around with the 303 on the Khyber; they were short enough on ammo as it was.                                                                                            Turbo was about to fling the stop stick at the glowing white mounds when Cappy screamed "I'LL LET YOU FLY THE 230!!!!!!"

Turbo had no intentions of ever setting foot in that aircraft. It had taken him seven years to build and he'd plagued Wreck Flying every day asking never ending questions, like "how do you mix polyester putty to stick the undercarriage on?" or " if you pull the head bolts off to see inside, how do you put them back again?" and after being given the correct information would plague the site abusing anyone unlucky to be online repeating advice he'd got from the local publican. There was no doubt something was going to let go, so Turbo had never raised the question of a "ride".

Turbo was trapped. His instinct was still to administer the spikes of the stop sticks, but he felt sorry for Cappy bolted to the stocks by that evil woman............who had just appeared around the corner. "What are you two up to!!!!" she yelled, totally misunderstanding what she was seeing..................................

[Captain]

43 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo was trapped. His instinct was still to administer the spikes of the stop sticks, but he felt sorry for Cappy bolted to the stocks by that evil woman............who had just appeared around the corner. "What are you two up to!!!!" she yelled, totally misunderstanding what she was seeing.......

..... which was made all the more incriminating when, in full view of Doubtfire, who was transfixed, Turbo zipped up ........................ his parka and ......

[turboplanner]

.......pretended...............

[Captain]

..... to be ....