The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

If Bernie has been home-schooled, he would only understand Latin, or even Egyptian or whatever it was called in those days.

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

If Bernie has been home-schooled, he would only understand Latin, or even Egyptian or whatever it was called in those days.

No worries Turbs, as I will send him a message in cuneiform script.

[Captain]

3 hours ago, Captain said:

No worries Turbs, as I will send him a message in cuneiform script.

Apologies for the delay Bernie, but I had to wait for the mud to dry, and because of the size of the tablet, I have had to omit the full list of my qualifications and awards.

[turboplanner]

.......Bernie. This was easier said than done because Degilbo was a big place.

The main income in Degilbo is rural pursuits, so Turbo assumes Bernie is involved in a pursuit at the moment but ..............

 

Keen NES readers will note that Cappy now has the latest and most effective Cuneiform.

 

These were much the same as Iphones are to our generation. Before Cuneiforms someone had to begat someone and if they weren't home it could be messy.

[onetrack]

.....pursuits in Degilbo tend to be long-drawn out affairs, usually ending in Dallarnil or Kullogum. However, thanks to Inspector Doubtfire (who has been promoted, as you'd notice) issuing tyre stakes to Outback Police Stations in rural Qld, the pursuits are becoming shorter and less interesting, as they go through less towns.

 

It was while Bernie was engaged in a pursuit (the police were hot on his tail, and we have yet to find out why), that he thought how much easier it would be if he had a flying car (overdue avref) and thereby be able to take to the skies in quick smart time and defeat any police pursuit. So the police would then have to find other pursuits, as the subject of their pursuit disappeared into a clear blue sky.

 

After his last pursuit was terminated (and we have yet to find out why - and Inspector Doubtfire is not about to reveal anything, as she is a very well trained copper who reveals nothing at any time, even in media conferences, where she constantly repeats, "I can't reveal anything at this point in time, due to operational secrecy"), Bernie went looking for flying car plans, and was amazed to find........

 

(OT notes that Cappys cuneiform tablet has a blank spot on the LHS, thus indicating that he's not revealing the full story on the tablet, either. Note also, that it's a Pharaoh 11 tablet, this is an major upgrade from Pharaoh 10, using better quality clay, with improved text abilities ..... )

[Captain]

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

OT notes that Cappys cuneiform tablet has a blank spot on the LHS

Crappy is impressed, as this is very perceptive by OT. But Crappy knows that most NESers are intellectually active and curious, so they would all know that all cuneiform tablets also contain a map of the known world which shows points of interest and intellectual highlights. The blank section at mid left of Crappy's tablet represents WA.

 

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

After his last pursuit was terminated (and we have yet to find out why - and Inspector Doubtfire is not about to reveal anything, as she is a very well trained copper who reveals nothing at any time, even in media conferences, where she constantly repeats, "I can't reveal anything at this point in time, due to operational secrecy"), Bernie went looking for flying car plans, and was amazed to find......

..... that Doubtfire had been taking lessons from Krissy, and Bernie had become the BRS of Degilbo, because when Bernie went down to the Degilbo Pattiserie & Coffee Shop on Coringa Rd for his usual triple shot Latte and freshly baked Pane-Chocolate, seated around him in the outdoor eating area overlooking the beautiful vista of Woowoonga Creek & the Cemetery, were photographers from Channels 9 & 7 + a kid from the Degilbo All Denominations Private School who had taken a freelance subcontract from Channel 10 to see if he could get an up-skirt type closeup of BTP or BTDFOD as he had become known ... Bernie-The-Persuitee, or Bernie-The-Dezi-Freeman-Of-Degilbo.

 

With the hundreds of Outside Broadcast vans in the main street, plus the thousands of usual tourists doing the Degilbo self-guided adventure tour, Bernie decided to bugger off up to the "Good Night Scrub" National Park and to "Paradise" Dam, both of which had been named by Bernie after he and Doubtfire had spent a torrid night consummating their affair (Doubtfire always fell for Bad Boys) and, it is a little known fact that .....  

 

Edited Saturday at 07:43 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.............in this case Bernie wasn't bad, and had a clean record - so clean that it qualified as medically "scrubbed" which was where Bernie was hiding at this time. Bernie had chosen Degilbo to live because of its quiet atmosphere and friendly people.

Not many people know he was an expert Microbiologist who studied viruses and the western frill neck lizard. Bernie had been over-used by the UN, Johns Hopkins University et al. He found the source of Covid in a Chines market, found an antidote which is why we are here (in some cases moaning about our luck, he found the two day pox, and eliminated it before he could kill anyone, he stopped the CASA virus in its track and so on. All he wanted to do was study the frill necks, so he came out to Degilbo in a Coach and made it his laboratory. Now he had to get Marlene to bring out he weekly groceries, and soon the locals had wrapped around him and put up barriers to protect him. Bernie was studying a particularly big frell neck he'd named Bob 3v24c290865...

Edited Saturday at 08:48 PM by turboplanner

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Bernie was studying a particularly big frell neck he'd named Bob 3v24c290865...

..... while the TV was idly playing in the background.

 

And that is when Bernie glanced up and saw his 1st program of Breaking Bad, looked at Walter's RV then considered his own, looked at Walter and gave consideration to his own bad-boy image, then considered how much time Walter was dedicating to his production of Blue Meth and resolved that this left plenty of time to still do justice to his Frill Neck research.

 

So there you have it dear readers, as you have witnessed the precise time that Degilbo became twinned with Daraweit Gwim as the Blue Meth production hubs of the east coast, and when the .....

Edited Saturday at 09:05 PM by Captain

[Captain]

For the Intellectually Curious members of the NES, here is the south-up cuneiform map of Degilbo, all as discovered and translated by Bernie.

The blank circle at 3 o'clock is WA and the one at 9 o'clock is Bone.

The blank circle at 10 oclock is vitally important as that is the Drug Squad looking for Blue Meth production.

Woowoonga Creek is obviously as important as DG's sacred 5 streams of the apocalypse.

 

PS ... Is Degilbo really the arse-about spelling of Obliged?

 

 

And here is the original before Bernie sorted it out.

Edited Sunday at 02:58 AM by Captain

[onetrack]

......planets aligned for CASA to give immediate approval for all the outstanding airspace and aircraft changes of regulations, thereby bringing to fruition the Mayan Long Count Calendar prediction of December 2012, which prediction was out by a just a few years, but the Mayans didn't allow for CASA bureacracy, of course.

 

This led to a rush of aviators producing some of the wackiest aviation designs ever seen, most of which had previously been destined for the rubbish skips, and Bernie produced his version, which was based on the patterns found on a cuneiform tablet, which he soon realised was the ultimate......

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, onetrack said:

This led to a rush of aviators producing some of the wackiest aviation designs ever seen, most of which had previously been destined for the rubbish skips, and Bernie produced his version, which was based on the patterns found on a cuneiform tablet, which he soon realised was the ultimate.....

..... , and knocked Leonardo's (DeVinci, not Turtle) designs into a cocked hat.

 

With that, Bernie's sketches (see below) were in demand from the Smithsonian, the Brownstonian, the Louvre and the Perth mint, because ..... 

 

Bernie's production design sketch (Rev 3) of a Sikorski Blackhawk, which Leo knocked off to use as a water pump.

[turboplanner]

......each of those establishments wanted to put the design on display. The problem was that none of the officials vying for it had the slightest idea what it was. That wasn't a problem of course because none of the people who would be gasping with excitement at seeing it, would have the slightest understanding of what it was either. As a result, Frisbees, the Auctioneers set a bid price of $4.5 million.......................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As a result, Frisbees, the Auctioneers set a bid price of $4.5 million........

.... and the self-made working class members within the AUF, as well as Turbine Assorted Charities & Turbine Salvation Navy (the tambourine whizz-kids), rushed in to buy the item(s) with the purpose of donating the original as a centrepiece in the foyer of AUF house in Canberra, and with full sized copies to be placed in the foyers/coffee shops (AUFbucks [an AUF registered franchise]) of each of the AUF State Office towers.

 

The bidding started at ......

 

AUF House in Canberra was made as a copy of Parliament House, only bigger.

Edited Sunday at 08:09 PM by Captain

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, Captain said:

AUF House in Canberra was made as a copy of Parliament House, only bigger.

For new NES or AUF members, please be aware that not many people know, that the structure atop AUF House is designed to attract and channel cosmic energy, which enables the AUF President and entire Board to be infallible (which many already thought that they were even before they started to glow with cosmic power).

[turboplanner]

.......10:00 Hours (The AUF administrators liked to keep to avrefs) with a bid of 50 cents from "Capt. Rufus Cook" and went............

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

9 minutes ago, Captain said:

For new NES or AUF members, please be aware that not many people know, that the structure atop AUF House is designed to attract and channel cosmic energy, which enables the AUF President and entire Board to be infallible (which many already thought that they were even before they started to glow with cosmic power).

True story; when the AUF members of those days, when most owned three for four genuine recreational aircraft, and flew in to a breakfast every Sunday, which set Australia's cattle industry up for years; every household had two Land Cruisers then......and they were real Land Cruisers too. 

[onetrack]

......on in $10,000 bid jumps, leaving Capt Cook speechless as he tried to get in his $1 increase bid. However, the bidding faltered at $2,990,000, with the auctioneer desperately searching the room for the next sign of a lifted eyebrow, or a shake of a newspaper, or a lift of a finger. 

 

About then, Cappy swatted a fly and the auctioneer took that as a major advance, and said, "I have $3,500,000 from the left front corner!!" Cappy gasped - he only wanted to bid $2,990,000.50 - but the pace of the auction was getting beyond him. As he protested that he never bid $3,500,000, another person gave a slight newspaper shake, and the auctioneer exclaimed - "$3,750,000!!". 

 

Cappy heaved a sigh of relief as there was no longer any need to protest his claimed bid, that didn't match what he wanted to bid, so he...........

[turboplanner]

started to relax, but the auctioneer said "I have one bid here!" pointing to Cappy. "Since when was a sigh of relief a bid?" he asked but the Auctioneer was faster; BANG!" went the gavel and Cappy was f...........................

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

started to relax, but the auctioneer said "I have one bid here!" pointing to Cappy. "Since when was a sigh of relief a bid?" he asked but the Auctioneer was faster; BANG!" went the gavel and Cappy was f...........................

..... 'd for four" (million).

 

"Will you take a cheque?" Cappy asked, but he had previously been debanked a couple of times to stop him from running as Prime Minister, and he was officially designated as "Working Class" ........ so when his new cheque book was issued, the writing bits and the number box were limited to 3 figures and a dot after the 1st one "So I can give you a few cheques of $9.99 each and we can .....

[turboplanner]

....settle this."

"A bid's a bid!" shouted Lyall, who was a CASA FIA and had missed catching Cappy at his antics where he hauled expensive wines out of a Milawa, and sold them to rich Chinese as "Nectar of the Gods" in a J230 30% over MTOW. Cappy snarled at Lyall and brought out the photo of Lyall that he'd kept in his pocket for just such a day. "Well ........

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....settle this."

"A bid's a bid!" shouted Lyall, who was a CASA FIA and had missed catching Cappy at his antics where he hauled expensive wines out of a Milawa, and sold them to rich Chinese as "Nectar of the Gods" in a J230 30% over MTOW. Cappy snarled at Lyall and brought out the photo of Lyall that he'd kept in his pocket for just such a day. "Well ........

..." said Cappy pointing at a very questionable part of the happy snap "What were you doing trying to stick THAT in THERE?" .... then he allowed the silence to sweep over them before Lyall blushed with embarrassment, while at the same time becoming a little aroused, and he .... 

[onetrack]

......said, in a barely audible voice, "I never thought anyone would get a photo of me sticking a phone on a selfie stick into the rear fuselage of a J230, in an attempt to find contraband. How did you manage that? I'm normally very discreet and ultra-careful".

 

"You don't even know half what I've got on you, by way of secret photos", said Cappy - and Lyall went a deep shade of plum colour, gritted his teeth and said, "Let's go somewhere quiet, away from this crowd, so we can have........

[turboplanner]

....a Chat."

Turbo, sitting nearby, froze  when he heard this; Lyall was notorious for "disappearing" pilots who escaped him more than once and Cappy hadn't been nicknamed "Fart" in the good old days. Things kept on happening which cleared the Tarmac and when the dust cleared it was Cappy that had taken off and blown the dust. Ot carefully asked ...................

[Captain]

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....a Chat."

Turbo, sitting nearby, froze  when he heard this; Lyall was notorious for "disappearing" pilots who escaped him more than once and Cappy hadn't been nicknamed "Fart" in the good old days. Things kept on happening which cleared the Tarmac and when the dust cleared it was Cappy that had taken off and blown the dust. OT carefully asked ...

..... "Isn't that spelt phart in polite society, and at our age how do you sneak one out without shi......

[onetrack]

....fting the furniture, pretending to look for the source of the foul odour? Cappy replied. "It's easy. You blame it on the dog".

 

"But what if there's no dog around?", said OT. "Well, you pretend you found some dog poop on the sole of your shoe, then", said Cappy.

 

OT replied, "I tried that line, but...........

 

Edited 6 hours ago by onetrack