The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The DI didn't know what to do; it was above his pay grade but he made a decision anyway......

.... once he received a whistleblower tip that the cat's tail analysis was undertaken by Turbine Genetic, STI and Pregnancy Tests Inc (TGSTI&PTI).

 

The Dingo Inspector knew a thing or 2 about dingo's propensity for young children, and that meant that .......

[turboplanner]

..........there would have to be a head count. 
As we all know the Boggawigga Tribe was founded on ticking the boxes and not paying tax. It was perfectly legit and they got to live in the rainforests of FNQ. They all had red hair and all had very light skin. At a distance and listening to the crap they went onwith, a casual observer would say he was near an Irish village......

As the Census Inspector got closer and heard the fighting, he knew this was not going to be a good day...................................

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........there would have to be a head count. 
As we all know the Boggawigga Tribe was founded on ticking the boxes and not paying tax. It was perfectly legit and they got to live in the rainforests of FNQ. They all had red hair and all had very light skin. At a distance and listening to the crap they went onwith, a casual observer would say he was near an Irish village......

As the Census Inspector got closer and heard the fighting, he knew this was not going to be a good day ......

.... as the Irish Boggawigga Army (the IBA) were about the have a clash with the Irish Loyalist Bogga Orangemen (the LBO), in what would become famously known thereafter as the "FNQ Troubles", after the International Protestant Fraternal Order was formed in Ireland in 1795 and immediately exported via the convict ships to infect the locals.

 

"Anyway, eh, this is better than being a cannibal, eh, as them other Boggawiggas taste like bog, eh, and we .....

[turboplanner]

........got better things to eat, eh and  XXXX those Kiwis in the South eh" Said Giuseppi, a long time member of the tribe, and a founding.......... 

[Captain]

Welcome back Onesie.

[Captain]

43 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....got better things to eat, eh and  XXXX those Kiwis in the South eh" Said Giuseppi, a long time member of the tribe, and a founding....

.... entrepreneur of the Uncle Giuseppi's Boggawigga's Pizza Chain (note the double possessive, which is significant), that just celebrated the opening of its 250 store, known as "Humpys" in the self-effacing way that the Boggawigga always do.

 

Giuseppe had gone from strength to strength, in a way that only the ......

[turboplanner]

Boggawigga can, He had been building a Lightwing [avref] for 19 years. It wasn't the complexity of the aircraft, it was the 26 different answers every time he got on the net and asked how to do something. It wasn't that the paperwork which came with the kit was difficult, he just liked to get everyone's opinion. As a result, it looked nothing like a Lightwing and ........

[turboplanner]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

Boggawigga can, He had been building a Lightwing [avref] for 19 years. It wasn't the complexity of the aircraft, it was the 26 different answers every time he got on the net and asked how to do something. It wasn't that the paperwork which came with the kit was difficult, he just liked to get everyone's opinion. As a result, it looked nothing like a Lightwing and ........

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

..... was described in the aviation (avref) press as a HeavyEmpennage, or under the shortened name of, a HE.

 

Guiseppe was pleased with his HE, which he created and finished in 4 days, and then he subsequently development a shorter version which he called a SHE, ....... and the SHE was created when Guiseppe took a rib from the HE, ..... after which he rested (ceased creating for the good of the AUF) on the 7th day (note plethora of bibletyperefs), because Giuseppe was actually the nearest thing you can find to a .......

[turboplanner]

.........Medicine Man,  he painted it red. After reading 136 pages about radio interference when they are painted, he sprayed it with paint remover and left it in its raw state, which made the aircraft................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........Medicine Man, he painted it red. After reading 136 pages about radio interference when they are painted, he sprayed it with paint remover and left it in its raw state, which made the aircraft................

..... look a blotchy red, which some described as a bit barren, hence his flying pseudonym, which was ...... 

[turboplanner]

........The Blotchy Red Empennage Aviation Baron (BREAD).

He was the talk of FNQ eh. This caused .........

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........The Blotchy Red Empennage Aviation Baron (BREAD).

He was the talk of FNQ eh. This caused .........

....the Bowen Flying Group, known under their secret ASIO ID of BUTTER, to seek an alliance with Giuseppe, in order to counter the increasing aggressive influence of the growing City of Jambin flyers, (in the Shire of Banana) and their group name of Plum ........  

Edited April 23 by Captain

[onetrack]

....Suckers and Dodgy Flyboys. Now, only a few people know that the City of Jambin got its airstrip via a dodgy deal done with the Queensland Mafia. This is the reason the City of Jambin is situated closely to the Don River, with the Rivers name a nod to the local Mafia leader.

There is also a frightening story associated with the Don River, involving drugs and gun-running, but space and time do not permit me to relate the full details here, suffice to say that.........

[Captain]

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

There is also a frightening story associated with the Don River, involving drugs and gun-running, but space and time do not permit me to relate the full details here, suffice to say that.....

.... a good quid was made, and all that money was then swiftly dispatched out of the country ..... to WA ..... just like Somali Minnesota fraudsters Western Union their cash to Al Shabab to buy AK47s mounted to Drifters (although they have not yet developed prop synchronizers for the Drifter/AK47 units and have had most of their combat success hitting their enemies with pieces of prop [and prop-less Drifters] because they can't yet afford Iranian drones with their .....

 

PS - The Western Union referred to above is the WA CAT & Komatsu Spare Parts Union led by a well-known tough One Percenter with a close sounding pseudonym in the NES, and why he gets quite upset when we show him in a onesie. (Below is the great WA CaKSPU owner in his younger days and before he sewed the 1%er badge on his monkey onesie, which he sells under his exclusive Kakspew branding)

[turboplanner]

........marginally greater firepower.

One percenter was offering Loyal Wingmen at US$30,000  per hundred,

 The Don River Rangers (DRR) ordered ten thousand, and 30 days later a package arrived in the mail, quite heavy, with One thousand kits, one thousand mini pulsed jet engines and a coil of No 3 fencing wire for the electronics.

 

It was more than..............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........marginally greater firepower.

One percenter was offering Loyal Wingmen at US$30,000  per hundred,

 The Don River Rangers (DRR) ordered ten thousand, and 30 days later a package arrived in the mail, quite heavy, with One thousand kits, one thousand mini pulsed jet engines and a coil of No 3 fencing wire for the electronics.

It was more than......

.... they had expected as the Chief DRR had already purchased an engine from Turbine Scramjets Inc (TSI), a strange yet wonderful dichotomy, given that scramjets don't have any turbine sections, but Turbo knew that and delighted in the fact that in a single name he was combining 2 competing technologies, just like he did with ....

 

It is little known that it was Turbo who invented the term "Scramjet" after he had just told 3 annoying grandkids to bugger off.

Edited April 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Catsh!tsrUs.....your garden matters!

This was a clever marketing ploy, because when they had built all the drones they realised that "Picture the power of the Pulse Jet" meant exactly that, so they HAD to buy the Scramjets from TSI.

 

In the first trial run the aircraft disappeared over the horizon........

 

That was back in the day when it was legal to load salt petre into a 12 gauge shotgun cartridge to hurry the little ones out of the strawberry rows, particularly the neigbours children. Occasionally. a week or so later, you'd get a facefull of BBs when you were out ploughing.

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......Catsh!tsrUs.....your garden matters!

This was a clever marketing ploy, because when they had built all the drones they realised that "Picture the power of the Pulse Jet" meant exactly that, so they HAD to buy the Scramjets from TSI.

In the first trial run the aircraft disappeared over the horizon........

..... because some DRR dope had programmed in the wrong town and a small set of mining shanties in an NT "town" were taken out by an "6.4 magnitude earthquake" (the standard friendly fire excuse along the NT/Qld border).

 

As all NESers will know, there have been a lot of "6.4 or bigger magnitude quakes" throughout southern Lebanon and in Iran lately, plus the subsequent test firing by DRR into a target on the SA/NT border a week or 2 ago was using just a light load of just mag 5.4, not to mention the subsequent rogue firing by DRR on the Cadia mine site outside Orange.

 

Sales of Turbine Scramjets were strong and getting more so, resulting in Turbo contemplating "doing an Elon" and considering floating a few of his sub-corporations in an IPO that has been described as ......

 

Catsh!tsrUs also has a strongly developing client base and gardens are looking healthier all over the nation, such that almost all of the population are now accustomed to seeing millions of moggies wearing the Turbine branding (A T like a Tesla T, burnt into their left bum cheek), sitting in gardens as below. [Not many people know that Cappy was the only one of Tubb's mates, or employees, who knew how to successfully hold all those cats while the branding irons were shuffled to and from the forge, then applied].

Edited April 26 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........Trumponian and likened to the meteoric rise of Elon Muck.

"We've been able to use every part of the cat", Turbo said, from  TurbineCatseyeMarbles to TurbineDraftExcluders.""We,ve even ...........

 

[onetrack]

.....used the catgut to string the bracing on the TurbineDrifters - and the sound they now make as they glide through the air, not only drowns out the meowing from the Turbine Cat Farms - but it makes our enemies shiver in fear when they hear the TD's coming, as they think that..........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....used the catgut to string the bracing on the TurbineDrifters - and the sound they now make as they glide through the air, not only drowns out the meowing from the Turbine Cat Farms - but it makes our enemies shiver in fear when they hear the TD's coming, as they think that..........

.... it's a swarm of bees ..... because almost all of our enemies are so inbred (some of the dirty buggers have even been at it like rabbits all through this Anzac Day weekend, instead of standing at attention), and their inbreeding makes them prone to anaphylaxis and hymenoptera. (And speaking of the bit in front of the "optera", [where Abe was shot] there aren't too many of those in the towns of our enemies).

 

But the catgut strung TD's were also good for .....

[bull]

8 hours ago, Captain said:

 

But the catgut strung TD's were also good for .....

......mosquito eradication as the tune made seemed to attract thousands of mozzies ,all to soon the pilots were having big..................

[onetrack]

.......problems cleaning all the splattered mozzies off the TurbineDrifters. The problem was only made worse by the high speeds achieved by the TD's. And the way the mozzies stuck to the cockpit windshields was unbelievable. But very soon, Turbo arrived with his solution - the Turbine Inc Windshield Washing Windowshine Wonder.

 

The TIWWWW was expertly demonstrated at a high rate of speed by Turbo (just like a Facebook ad - where the product was also advertised of course, with major discounts of the $99.99 product, starting at purchases of three cases or more) - who looked like he was on Speed when he was doing the demonstration - but the effect of his wondrous product was immediately visible to all, as soon as it was applied, and the sales soared faster than a journalist at a Presidential gathering, moving to get away from a heavily armed assassin.

 

Unfortunately, Turbo didn't reveal there was a small problem with continued use of his wonder product, and it involved major degradation of plastics and polymers, which wasn't immediately obvious to the TIWWWW purchaser, until the.................

[Captain]

17 hours ago, onetrack said:

Unfortunately, Turbo didn't reveal there was a small problem with continued use of his wonder product, and it involved major degradation of plastics and polymers, which wasn't immediately obvious to the TIWWWW purchaser, until the.........

..... top fell off all of the wonder product bottles, and that meant that .....