Captain

And that, dear readers, is the true story behind the reason that the famous French Resistance Fighter, Le Scarlet PimpleCrapper, won his Cross de Garish.

His job was to sneak into Goerings joint each night and hold his hand while he talked in his sleep .... thereby obtaining vital data for the allies .... and resisting Herman's almost irresistable nocturnal charms.

"He offered to take me over to Berktusgarten in his Storch for a dirty weekend, but I resisted that (as we would have been over 544kgs) and I have therefore kept my honour (and other bits) in tact" said the red pimple-rat.

"I'll be signing books at Echuca on the Anzac Weekend" he said 'And if you wish, I'll show you my hand holding technique (but not you, Tubb).

Just then ...........

Have just heard that an Ultralight has gone in, in northern Victoria this arvo with 2 being injured. Hope they weren't one of our crew, and hope that they are OK ... what a bugger.

Mudgee Airshow @ Wings Wheels and Wine April 18th?

Is anyone planning on going?

Ps. Le Creepe: können Sie wirkliches Deutsches verstehen? and if you don't reply, I'll take that as a NO......!

PPS. I just notice the compliment from the famous Turbo.... I thought Le Creepe sounded more scary......

Guten morgan (aeroworks?) das doubting Thomaas.

Ich lerne Deutsch funf jahre in die schule, so sticken das up deine joomper.

Und ich specht Deutch in manyshen arbeiten trips to Deutchland, aber mein poor recollection auf den lingo ist probably the reason why ich always ended up buying the wrong ticket up or down the Rhein, und paying too much in the seedy bars auf Munchen, but got to do a fair bit of munchin'.

And while the Turboplunger accusses me of being a Resitance Fighter au Francais, I need to explain that I have never put up any resistance during any trips to France.

Wikipedia also lists Crapp as an SS intelligence officer......

"And what's so special about being an Intelligence Officer on a Steam Ship?" asked Ahlow, who was too young to remember anything to do with "steam", and who thinks that the only rivets are pop-rivets.

"I wonder if he is up amongst the cirrus (and soon to be towering Cu's) today in his IFR Cirrus?

Viel dunk, und viedersehn

Das CrappRat

"... went over to the eastern front and followed the track the Germans took into Russia, and out backwards at the double. They'd said it was cold but the AC was fine in our 747"

"the Germans couldn't get in to Stalingrad because the gate was locked" editorialised Locks....

"Vot" replied the Hauptmann "Ve haff never been zo inzzulted. Zem Russians were just lucky (that we didn't have our zekret veppon McJockLocks with us to open that gate)".

'Und schtopp flaunting your wealth to the rest of us. Sie vould haff been much better served by putting the Deutchmarks von zat trip towards fixing one of your many broken outboards and a few Jab flights".

"Hass it schtopped rainink up zerr yet Slartiphartblater?" he added while ...........

"If you can't speak Morse Code try English", said dotDash, but Kevin was more fluent in Mandarin.....

"That's not Mandarin" said the multilingual McSlovaclocks "It sounds like Cumquat to me".

"Hang on" said the CrappRat "Have some respect. While we are in our dry homes, poor old Slartifartblast is stuck in his tent playing Dutchies, giving his puppet a run, checking the weather on his Lappie, posting to the Forum, adding up his commissions from Cheetah sales to soggy forum members and chewing on cold-X buns that he snuck out of Ian's tent"

"I agree" said the Turbopiddler "He's sure done the hard yards, and it sounds like the way things were for me and my mates during the Somme campaign"

"What years were you stuck in the Somme?" asked Locks.

"It was 2005" he replied "When we did the Jetsetters tour of Belgium.

'Then we ..............

PS Which truckstop are you at now, HiHo? Are you past Charleville yet?

PPS Le Crapp had a complete post written then pushed the wrong button. Bugger.

Speaking of pursuits, McLoch has just returned from washing and blowing eleven months :ah_oh: worth of cobwebs and dust :yuk: from the two wheel toy (that has been sadly neglected :broken_heart: since the tin can's arrival )

"Hey Lockie" said the Rat "A few other reprobates & I are riding down to the Jingellic Pub for lunch next Friday ..... if'n you are available, so you can give your twt a quick blat (aviation term)."

"Why don't you fly (aviation term) down?" he replied

"Because there is no airport (aviation term) and we'll be low-flying (motorcycling term) anyway" was his curt Rat-like reply "The Jingellic Pub is on the northern bank (aviation term) of the Murray (flowing term) so we don't need to go back to Victorian times (black dresses and all)."

"I'm gunna put some "Hello Pete" and "See ya next week Pete" notes in a bottle and chuck (aviation term) them in for GrandePierre to remove at Echuca. How poetic, prophetic and pathetic would that be?"

"What's a twt?" asked Nanna "And haven't you left out a letter?"

"It's a ........

PS Hang in there HiHo. We'll get back to you, eventually.

...but is still didn't seem to work, because you say it posts 1334, and 1335.... may I ask where you got the 13 bit from??

See I can blame my computer for posting it twice, but you can blame......mmmm.........something that starts with I?

What 1334 & 1335?

What 1334 & 1335?

NOW ........... back to making it "flow" with lots of aviation terms, or Planey will stick it to us all again.

"We just love Queenslanders" said ........

Note to tomo

TIMEOUT

Dear Tomo,

I note your posts 1534 & 1535.

Please note that you only have to say it once, as we are from down here.

Kind Regards Geoff

from Wagga Wagga

See ... just once.

PS (Shhhhh ..... but it is really us NSW & Qld brothers against the real borne to rule Mexicans ..... Shhhhh)

....."But we can start a "Fungus Farm" said Sam Suzuki.

"Don't knock it" said a secular progressive from the church of the later day hydrocarbon.

"We'll all have those in our backyard soon, from which to decant AvGas, so there will be 15 million more of us, all moving to and sweating in, God's Country"

"HEY .. don't blame me" boomed a voice from the sky. "I only wanted to .............

"We nearly got rid of them in WW2 when we set up the Brisbane line" he thought, "but typically the Army HQ forgot to tell the 150 Chocos fighting the 2500 Japanese on the Kokoda Trail (only the Port Moresby based loafers called it Track) to call a meeting with the Japanese and invite them to take over Queensland.

(Secret Maps released 50 years aftrer hostilities indicated the "Brisbane" line was a myth - the line generally followed the NSW border but included some NSW towns which had been giving trouble.)....

..... however under recent Freedom of Information legislation, the researcher Rat can reveal that in WW2 the OZ Gov't offered Qld to the Japanese ..... for free ..... and they knocked it back.

"What you think we are? ......... sirry?" said a spokesman for the Emperor 'If we take it, where are you southerners going to send those people that are searching for the "good life" using the slogan "Ah Qld, raining one day, humid the next".

'Where else in OZ can we get that magical combination of 99 F & 99% humidity?"

"But we can start a "Fungus Farm" said Sam Suzuki.

'Not if .................

Addendum ............ for the Rat was up early to do the same thing that Tubb's pup was contemplating (but not in the loungeroom), and can add to his above post by saying that Qld is, however, a great place to park relatives between Christmasses ................ as are Coffs Harbour, Port Macquarie, Lorne & Victor Harbour.

Addendum 2 .......... the Turbodigger should have used the free Dial Up info service which operates under the acronym DBYDYD (Dial Before You Dig, You Dropkick)

...ever tie down an aircraft with cotton rope", said Avlovak, for he had picked that Tomo was a cotton picker who picked cotton, and knew a thing or two about cotton wool. In fact Tomo, who normally preferred speaking in Morse Code rather then English, and who came from the place made famous by a well hung ram, was busy working in partnership with Slartipants designing a landing gear, for Sheeters, using cotton wool.....

.... as it will be softer than your hand puppet when wrapped around your .........

Caroline caught the bus for Swan Hill.....

.... (again) and Ahlocks buggered off before posting. There must be a lock to be picked or a residence to save.

"What's little Benny Oulli got to do with anything" said the Lass 'I went to school with him and he had a high pressure area between his ears. Same with that Py Thagorus bloke who was a year ahead of me and always wanted me to measure something with an excuse that he wanted me to "square" it and then he expected me to square root, (but my Mum told me not to and she would sort it out)".

Don't .............

No worries Tomo. We are taught at school to feel sorry for Queenslanders, & after all, J's are made up there.

PS ... We'll get to #2000 tonight at this rate.

Is wide open to idea's at getting this fantastic plastic machine on the ground with out disappearing down a merino swallowing crack.......!:confused: and without any airspeed indication:sad::confused:

Fortunately though...........

His bonce was like a Garmin GPS. When it worked it could estimate GS to 3 decimal places ....... although for some of the time it said "RAM error, please reboot and check your hemisphere".

"I aim to check out a few Echuca "Hemispheres" when I am down there on the 25th, so if the tent is a rock'n, I'll be a knock'n" said ...............

With a deft flick of the wrist and ever mindful of the sheep swallowing cracks :raise_eyebrow:, BigPete.....

.... stayed with his wholesome Easter family gathering of his lovely nippers and cute little grandnippers, without any thoughts of matters aviation, or cracks, or the Turbopiddler, or poor pre-flight checking, or the Iraq-like Booligal Oilfield.

"You've been good this weekend" said the Chewka Mayor.

'Yes mate" said PointsRackerPete "I'm racking up points in preparation for the Anzac Weekend, when Slartioutonthetiles, Ahldebaucherlochs, the Turboplayer-upper, HotBunsIan, DuraGeoff and the CappRat will be here to take the town apart and do some pillaging."

"We'd better lock up our daughters" replied the mayor.

"None of 'em can handle anything under 45 (although Ahlow and Slotti still fancy their prowess), so its the town's Nannas that will mainly be in danger, and we also need the council to put 3 portable dunnies between each Pub, so that when we do a pub-crawl, Tubb will stay (reasonably) dry (he flows but not always on cue)."

But what about ....

And welcome Tomo. Get stuck in so that we can pick on you too.

Two of 'em are replying at once, so this should be interesting?????

..the bikie's moll, "they called him Nat Fly Rat for a while because he ran right through Natfly with his fly open. Some wanted to report him to the Federal Police, but others said it was no big deal.

But Mahatma Koti was just beginning to find out what powers an ASIC inspector possessed.....

'It's a bit of a problem, Mr Koti, when you forget to zip up after you have been to the carzy, like the Rat did yesterday" said the Inspector "But it's an even bigger problem when you forget to unzip before you go, like the TurboPiddler does"

"Oh, crikey" said Koti-san " He told me he had spilt a drink down his front".

"He did" said the Inspector "But he had strained it thru his kidneys, first"

"Does that mean that the TurboP is incontinent?" ask Ahlow.

"No" replied the Rat 'Just forgetful" ..... (Just like he forgot to put oil in his 2-stroke fuel.)

"And the other stains on his dacks are from .....

"....draw the conclusion about microwaved hot cross buns, but I happen to know he always drops in at the Kentucky fried shop after work, goes down to the now sold for development air precint and pretends to fly, just sitting there making brm brm noises while he eats his 7 pieces, so a lot of chicken fat drips on to the controls, and that's what leads to people commenting on his slipery flight style"

"However, Capitan, I have to tell you that after you left Narrowmind, some evil people dubbed you the Natfly Rat.

 

"has a ring to it, and we'll keep it for future use, but I, your friend, pointed out to Ian that it was the epitome of what a professional pilot should do in the face of uncertain weather, and we shouild wait to see how many wheat farmers have new furrows in their paddocks by Easter Monday."

 

There was screaming at Natfly, where Ian had just offered buttered hot cross buns and tea to President Eugene Wingover and his entourage, reached into the packet and realised Capitan, while oozing all over him yesterday, had pinched the lot for his new venture....

.... of scraping the crosses off them and turning them into Cream Buns.

"There is a 47.6% margin in them if you use recycled cream (no sly comment needed there) and Rec. Flying Buns" replied the Natfly Rat (of should that read the Nat Fly-Rat?).

"One of the things that prompted the Rat's decision yesterday was that Cockies were out ploughing on some properties between YSWG and YNRM as he smoothly winged his way north, and when they are investing diesel that early in the morning, they often know that weather is on the way" he said in his own defence after being called a Natfly Woose Rat by some unkind old Mexican codger with a broken outboard.

"Don't say that about the Crapp Rat" said ................

Ooops - The TurboRat has snuck in an edit after the SkippRat did a quote. Sneaky, eh?

The pen of may Aunt is poised to be inserted, after she took offence at the attacks on her nephew.

Gibbo

I have a Motel in Wagga (www.thelawson.com.au) and did concessional deals for a recent Commanche Owners' Fly-In including a dinner in our Conference Room/Lounge + am doing the same for the Cessna 172 Assoc Fly-In here later this year.

But just between us 2 girls, you would be surprised how unappreciative, disorganised and tight-arsed many pilots are.

We will always do a deal to help pilots, although we are downtown and about 12 mins from YSWG, and when a YAK 52 had engine trouble passing overhead here last year and was stuck in town for a few days, I gave him a room to help him out & so that he wouldn't be stuck in a 2.5 Fleas joint .... and he then paid part cost when departing.

Regards Geoff

But there was just one problem for DPR (DownPipeRat)....

... for the Rat had a good squizz at SlartiSelfA*use's hand puppet yesterday (while being careful not to touch it without surgical gloves) and it appears to have been used and soiled at some time in the recent past, so the Skipper didn't dare to discuss what can be done with microwaved warm Hottie Buns.

Tubb replied "Yes, you can ................

We are now more than half way to 2000 posts. Seems only a short time thatsome devious but lukcy poster celebrated 1000.

The race is on, Tink, as if I can get post # 2000, in addition to my proven performance with post#1000, I have been told that I get to keep the Forum.

"I've had 2000" said Nanna, "This year, so far."

"Did you take offence at SlartiHotRocks calling you a RAT in that other thread?" asked McLocks.

"No worries" replied Le Crapper "I've been called worse than that before, in fact when I bought a BMW a few years ago, even my old father reckoned I looked like "a Rat with a Gold Tooth", so how cruel was that".

"Thanks goodness SlartiButtCrack doesn't know about my ........

Any rumours worth sharing from your lightning visit

The Instructor forums kicked off at high noon.

Had a nice chat with Wally R, then with Slarti & a few other Forum Members. Geez we are a nice bunch, and that must be why you and I fit in so well.

But no Hottie Buns yesterday. Guess Ian didn't want all those Instructor types to end up overweight.

There was one big rumour concerning a high profile player in the RAA aircraft scene, but I'll stay schtumm until that breaks officially.

On the way back I could see a buildup & some rain over Hillston way, but I hope the trough doesn't deepen or dampen the activities at Natfly, as there are a few others from here that were going up today. Normally I would have stayed like last year, but just couldn't take the chance this time, so I took the rodent & drainpipe option (however while I am dry, I am not proud of myself).

Regards Geoff

PS Yet as I finished writing this, a shower has just gone thru here ... bugger, eh?

Some pics from Thursday

G'day all,

It looks to me like that trough is doing exactly what they predicted it to do, so I departed Wagga @ 7 am this morning and lobbed into Narromine at 08.30 am ........ then woosed out and came home this arvo, as I just can't afford to get stuck up there again this year.

Below are a few shots from today for those that can't make it at all.

You might notice that the best cables have been reserved for clusters of 230's, 200's and a 250, because they are recognised as such a swish machine.

And have a look at all of the chin-wagging that is shown in some pics. That's what Narromine is all about at Easter.

The final shot is the trough, just starting to grow some legs out west, on my way back south.

Regards Geoff

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also the charts on the BOM site arnt showing a trough, and predicting rain on sunday onwards. clear friday and sat.

UL's.

They do now, at least for the next 2 days .... but Thur & Fri might be OK.

I'm gunna try for it, anyway.

However the weather channel is getting much more excited about a "rain event" for the cockies, than is reflected in these BOM charts.

Regards

Erky Perky. Let's hope the computer model has got it wrong.

Saturday 22:00 EST

A trough will generate widespread showers and storms across QLD, inland NSW and the Top End. A few showers will reach the Flinders Ranges in SA and northern VIC in warm humid northeasterlies. Warm northeasterly winds for WA as a trough brings a chance of showers to the southwest.

Issued Wednesday 11:24 EST

.. ..-. .- --. ..-- .. ... ---- ..... .-...---..-.--..--..-.-..---.....

(& apologies for the bad language)

"Oh no" said the Pink Panted "I know all about her", and he quickly shooed out the girls, borrowed the President's natty flying suit, stuck his thumbs in the bib and started a boring talk on flying.......

.... but at least with Nanna there he knew that he wouldn't need to give his sock puppet a run. He could just ......

(Where did those words come from?)