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........the bros shold be allowed to do what they like. "As you know", said Pelilok Matthews, Minister for Air, fatalities are way down on 1942, but we can still do better"

This was greeted by Club Members ......................

.......ridgeback run. Not many people know that the Papuans didn't want either the Australians or the Japanese fighting in their gardens, so they appointed two clans, the Fuzzy Wuzzies who were to make handsome cash carting supplies to the Australians, and the Lik Loks who were tasked with making handsome cash carting supplies to the Japanese. In a cleverly orchestrated campaign, both groups provided guides who used separate trails north and south.

In his book "Kokoda", Paul Ham describes Australians on the EFoggi Trail, warned to absolute silence, looking down and seeing Japanes soldiers quietly walking in the opposite direction on the ENoFoggi Trail.

This extended the war by a year, and the Papuans were all driving Bentleys when supply became available after the war, and they even had some early ultralights with the effeminate Rotax Ski Doo engines flying through the ............

......Latte, but all they had was Betel Juice Bars, and that gave you black teeth followed by no teeth.

He wandered down to the RSL, kicking the rascals out of the way as he went.

As he walked in the door ................

......sauce made from the lik lik vine.

Turbo walked along the trail with them pretening not to understand their language; the trail was a thousand feet above the Dakota field and eventually, three miles after they left Efogi Pass he could see the Daks glinting in the sun. Quickly grabbing a Lik Lik vine he swung himself out over the cliff and let go.

He surfed on top of the last trees before the bottom, grabbed another vine and neatly swing out to alight on the plain. The native coould only watch; it was taboo to touch the Lik Lik vine unless for cooking so they had a two hour walk to the bottom of the valley but by then Turbo had fuelled up a polished Dak started it, listening to the knock from the long stroke con rods of the radial engines which were often compared to Rotaxes these days, and Turbo was in the ir cruising to the sound of the Boogy Woggy Bugle Boy by the Andrews Sisters on the Daks on-board entertainment system.

As Lae came into view ......................

...,....he was devil devil worshipping which was banned in the highlands so they........

......Highland Show.

Turbo had entered in the 100 metre dash, not being interested in the pig-eating competition.

The problem was the gourd had been made from an Itchypod Tree, and he was dancing around waiting for the start. When the starter fired his gun Turbo flashed out of the blocks and over ran the finish line by five miles, but at least he could take the gourd off and ........

....showing that..........

.....and wilted....

........spotlight.

This didn't go down well with the Papuan Princess and soon there was a hostile crowd milling around and stamping their feet.

As anyone knows, who has accidentally run over a pig or helped theselves to a paw paw drowing beside the road; there is a process and that process is very painfull.

As Ahulani looked on sadly, he could see the Papuans had decidei what to do to right the insult shown to their daughter. 

OT realised too, any other man would have soiled himself, but OT held on. Of course it helped that he'd been constipated for years.

The Bruho stelled forward, his Bird of Paradise plumes, from 42 different birds, glowed in the fading sunlight, and he pointed the bone at OT.

OT..........................

....drive out to my Dakota Park [averf] and Etui Airfield? [avref].

OT sensed this would be one of his rare opportunities adnd willingly went along, usimg the WA endearments of a wink every few seconds and a beaming smile.

As they turned the last corner and came out on a small plain, the sun glinted in OT's eyes from 142 pristine Dakotas.

"We call them in with our Mountain Calls" said  Ahulani (which means Sky Alter) "They don't always come, but sometimes they do"

OT was shaking, thinking that what he was watching couldn't be true and maybe what his mother had kept on saying was true and he'd gone blind, but when they arrived Ahulani started one up, and took him for a spin along the Kokoda Trail pointing out the places his grandfather had fought at.

"Don't worry, I'm IMC rated" said Ahulani as they cut through the cloud, "and have won three International Aerobatics championships" she continued as she pulled off impossible turns, finally settling back on the airfield and neatly parking next to the impeccably polished Dakotas.

OT had difficulty compehending; here was a Papuan Princess with a bone through her nose showing more skills than the AUF hierarchy and .................................

51 minutes ago, KRviator said:

Perfectly safe if the crew RTFNotam and apply the correct TODA in their performance calculations. In this case, I'd wager they didn't, for whatever reason and they're going to be in for tea, no bikkies with the CP...

Our back yard is at the end of the local runway, such that if someone undershoots, or fails to get airborne the other way, the kids are gonna get a new cubby house. We've been mowing, doing earthworks and just flogging around on motorbikes with planes upto and including Falcon 8's and Herc's passing 100' over our heads and don't feel unsafe in the slightest.

Note the words "don't fell unsafe in the slightest"

........old carry bag, and she smiled and said : "I bought it when I was studying law at UTAS."

OT, being from WA had never been to Tasmania.

WA people have a chip on their shoulder about the "wise men from the East", and of course Tasmanians have a chip on their shoulder about "Mainlanders" (Turbo had once asked Bob Hawke to clean up Australia by dumping both States, but Bob had called him a bum).

The tribeslady said to OT "You're a mainlander are you" and OT burned wit embarrassement at being seen as inferior. 

OT drew himself up to his full height and replied  " ..............

....he didn't have to wear possum grease. Tis was considered a bit rich by the natives given that underarm deodorant was yet to appear at WA trading posts.

Paleo Kaupa who spoke with a whistle was all for making OT the main course, but Bopau James in a passionate speech recommended reason; perhaps they should just bash his head in; there was no telling what a man who doesn't use possum grease would taste like and all the sand would grate on their teeth.

Gasowe Thomas had a better idea. "We should take him up the peak and roll him over; see how many times he bounces on the way down.

OT decided to have a last smoke; When he pulled the Redhead match box out the natives ....................................

.....and taking those small steps for mankind.”

There was a sssssssSSSSSSHHHHBANG! and a giant hole appeared beside him.

Cappy was shaken and ......

................Khyber settled down to a long period of peace.

In fact Cappy and Turbo considered setting up an AirB&B on the Devil's Elbow, but the Tahsilda pointed out there was a Pilgrim's Sanctuary just two miles away and that offered food, water and shelter for the price of a prayer. The sides were open so the occasional man-eating Leopard or Tiger also go free food, but they knew an Indian would rather risk his leg being torn off than to part with a rupee, so it didn't go ahead.

What did come to the Pass was ...............................................

.......caused the same symptoms, and the sight of the early British horsemen coming up the pass waving their arms had terrified the natives so much that there was no fighting for 27 years, but when the eminent French surgeon Fleur de Lice discovered a cure for arse lice, one of the world's great problems was sold.

General Digby Cook and Colonel Sir James Turbine were slowly riding up the Khyber. The Bengalis saw they had their hands at the Riding position, and mistakenly decided this was a sign of weakness.

Corporal Pandit Delhi loosed off a round wich went straight between the two riders.

The General ordered Sergeants T and One Pass to  "clear out the beggars"  and five minutes later it was done.

Within minutes .................

......Cappy didn't make any attempt to rebut what had been said but just used a famous recent quote that OT must be either a racist or an idiot.

Western Australia had a very slow beginning, and if you were a young immigrant approaching marriageable age, you had to take was available whether ir was your cousin or not  and a lot of sand-eaters look the same and talk the same and.......................

.....learning to be a writer for his future career and backed it up with:

A little boy living on a farm woke up one morning in a bad mood.

He sat down at the breakfast table and his mother asked him, " Did you

do your chores yet this morning? "   " No..." he replied in a cocky attitude.

" You know the rules: You don't get breakfast until you do your chores." his mother told him.

So the little boy says "FINE!", mumbles a bit and goes outside to do his chores.

As he is feeding the chickens, he kicks one.

As he is feeding the pig, he kicks the pig.

And as he's passing the cow, he kicks the cow.

He goes back inside and sits down just as his mother is putting a bowl of dry cereal in front of his chair. " What's this!?" he asks, "Where's my eggs and bacon and milk!!!??? " he screams.

Calmly his mother tells him she watched him do his chores.

" I saw you kick the chicken, so for a week, no eggs. I saw you kick the pig, so for a week, no bacon. And I just KNOW you kicked the poor cow, so for a week, no milk. "

Her son grumbles and starts eating his cereal.

His father comes down stairs and kicks the cat out of his way.

The little boy looks at his mom and says " Hey! Do you want to tell him or should I?"

Cappy's old teacher went on to say........................

.......Cappy Cappy had started started.

Turbo's phone rang and a voice announced he was Basher Alot, and he was Cappy's old school teacher.

"I fly a Gemstar these days" he said "and I love reading NES, but can you tell that little XXXX Cook that if he keeps up that double word nonsense, I'll tan his hide like I did last time", and he went on to say that Cappy did this in his compositions to meet the minimum word requirement. He also daid that Cappy was ....................

.......the tiger?”  but Cappy just passed it off as something anyone anyone.....

........the ones on his back were from a Bengal Tiger.

Turbo couldn’t remember .........
 

.......has four other stories about pets being butched in Slovakia or a man being eaten by his dog in Texas, but Turbo was reasonably confident bcause he had his "I am not a Cessna" badge on, however ...........

....then led to the Red Rainbow Marches. In fact only yesterday Turbo had been interviewed by the daily press about pRR's ambitions. In the middle of the discussions the jouranlist had said the Editor wanted a photo in the story and one of the local Councillors had refused because she didn't want to be seen as a cat-watcher, the PRR flag bearer had refused because he was a member of the Federal Parliament and Chairman Dan had refused becuse "he didn't want to have to be here arguing about pets."

"Would you do it Turbo?" asked the journalist, and an hour later Turbo and a news photographer were scouring suburban streets looking for pussies. The journalist took over 200 photos and Turbo thought he must have been in the Narcissist Association od Australia (NAA), but eventually it was over and Turbo is nervouslt waiting to see what came off the presses, and whether it says ..................

...............where he had been cornered by a particularly large Tom when he went in to feed the males.

Turbo had the pepper shaker with him and that was usually enough but this time the Tom took a bite out of his leg. He'd been watching snake catchers so he tried picking it up by the tail and holding its head down with a landscaping hoe, but it climbed itself and bit right through his ear. He booted it, hoping it would clear the top of the cage but it grabbed the top rail and used it as a swing to come down twice as fast and bite him on the other leg. He tried ...............

.....product, and the boring Amazon.com just couldn't compete, so ...................