The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, onetrack said:

OT replied, "I tried that line, but.......

.... one of the ladies at the party in Peppermint Grove said over the PA system (which could be heard almost out at Rotty) that the odour was definitely similar to mi.....

[bull]

8 hours ago, Captain said:

.... one of the ladies at the party in Peppermint Grove said over the PA system (which could be heard almost out at Rotty) that the odour was definitely similar to mi.................milking time down on the.............

[Captain]

7 hours ago, bull said:

......milking time down on the.....

.... Cat Farm, where Turbine Technologies had developed a RotoLactor machine to receive and hold the moggies in place (a major breakthrough) and tiny little suckers that attach to the female cat's teets.

 

That has all been working well, and one of the only issues remaining are around the male cats, or the trans cats, that get punted into the Catolactor and what happens, based on their poor attitude, and the products that are extracted.

 

Turbo, the Great Man himself, had designed and tested a human-sized version of the Catolactor machine and he had a solution to the issue which .....

 

Here is the full-sized machine that Turbs used to design and miniaturize before testing on himself, using a suitably sterilized and sized (enlarged) one of those blue things.

 

 

Below is a photo taken last week at Turbine Cat-Farms by Turbine Illicit & Paparazzi Photos.com showing the 7 ft diameter Cat-O-Lactor.

Edited June 9 by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

This photo shows the fantastic engineering of Turbine Cat Farms, as those cats are all plumbed in & restrained.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

This photo shows the fantastic engineering of Turbine Cat Farms, as those cats are all plumbed in & restrained.

Mind you, the kittens are having a hard time of it as they are being fed on cheap Chinese/Russian skimmed milk, which TCF are skimming the top off, and the cute little kittens are skin and bone.

 

If Turbo didn't already control the majority of the shares in Turbine-RSPCA, he'd be in strife.

[onetrack]

.......involved AI and installing gender selection software into the Cat-O-Lactor, which solved the problem promptly, as the AI software rapidly identified the gender and attitude of each particular cat, and dealt with them according to the latest U.N. proclamation and rulings on how trans-cats, straight cats, and non-binary cats, should be treated.

 

Then came that dreadful day, when Turbo, in the process of overseeing the Cat-O-Lactor operations, accidentally fell into the machines claws (yes, it had claws, so the cats would recognise its authority), and the claws grabbed Turbo in a death-like grip, felt for his gender, became confused, and..............

 

Edited June 9 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........decided to remove them, to avoid future male catfights. This............

[Captain]

58 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........decided to remove them, to avoid future male catfights. This............

..... involved Turbo, then buying a lifetime pass to the Opera, to support the West Coast Eagles (or Freo in that yummy purple) and to become a brand ambassador for Victoria's Secret.

 

The 'Vette was parked permanently in the sun so that it would fade to that tolerant gay pinkish hue (but that will take a while in Melburnistan), and he joined the outdoor performances of Robin Hood as shown below (that is Turdy standing on the rock), where he ......

 

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

..involved AI and installing gender selection software into the Cat-O-Lactor,

As all cats only have one eye when walking away from you, the gender-selector was based on a single swift probing device aimed about 30 mm below that one eye. If the cat was female she liked it and could easily be coaxed into the CatOLactor, and if it was a male, the probe in the pills made him folded up on the floor, and manageable for about 15 minutes.

 

 

 

 

[Captain]

The Cook Family are concerned that the lack of response to the post which included Mel could reflect the deep-rooted undercurrent of anti semitism that underlies the Australian Aviation Community.

 

Or are all NESers just sensitive about being exposed as Fegelhers?

 

To test this sad assumption the Cooks intend to post an alternate humorous video in arabic by Ali bin Mustaf bin Moksy bed Linnen, or any other gay/merry Arabic comedian, as soon as they can find one.

Edited June 11 by Captain

[Captain]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

The Cook Family are concerned that the lack of response to the post which included Mel could reflect the deep-rooted undercurrent of anti semitism that underlies the Australian Aviation Community.

Cappy has just realised that he needs to apologise to Turbo for the above post, as he has just been informed that Turdy has been clipping coins for decades. 

 

Not many people know that all 50 cent coins are originally round and all that are no longer perfectly round have been clipped by Turbine Coin Rip-offs.com.

[Captain]

On 11/06/2026 at 12:42 PM, Captain said:

Not many people know that all 50 cent coins are originally round and all that are no longer perfectly round have been clipped by Turbine Coin Rip-offs.com.

This effort represents one of Turbo's rare money-making failures, (well perhaps failure is too harsh a description), but in a leaked memo Turbine Metallurgical Consultants Pty Ltd have advised Tubb that his clippings are not silver but are cupro‑nickel alloy of 75% copper and 25% nickel, so are collector value only and the effort to clip them to the precise dodecagonal shape that he did, cost 24.743789521 times the worth of the metal.

 

Will all NESers please keep this strictly confidential so that the reputation of the Turbine Conglomerate is preserved.

 

During his presentation on one of the "Ted's Talks" Turbo quoted Elon Musk after one of his Starship rockets blew up on landing, when he said "Well, you win some and you lose some, but at least we are in the game."

Edited June 12 by Captain

[Captain]

Crappy now holds the NES record, with 5 consecutive posts.

 

What a sad old dero he is, having apparently driven all other contributors away, many of whom just yawn, roll their eyes, and claim to be too sick to type ..... using standard excuse #1 being "I think that I may have covid".

Edited June 12 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Turbo apologises sincerely to Cappy for failing to respond, but he was called back to Langley for gunnery practice. NES readers may not be aware that CIA takes the accuracy of their shooters seriously requiring deadly accurate hand gun skills.

 

Some one had written an anonymous letter saying that turbo was starting to duck instead of shoot so he was put through the hoops, even the near to impossible hanging by the heels from a helicopter shooting a running target on the ground. The target, a 260 lb Texan had never been shot, and for years hadn't worn his kevlar, and TURBO shot him in the buttocks, and was quickly sent home.

[turboplanner]

......was attempting to train one of CIA'S asian group's operatives on how to remain unnoticed, but still armed on some drug operations where the baddies knew every brand of handgun by sight and serial number sequences and .......

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......was attempting to train one of CIA'S asian group's operatives on how to remain unnoticed, but still armed on some drug operations where the baddies knew every brand of handgun by sight and serial number sequences and .......

.... even the sub-microscopic numbers on the bottom of each cartridge case, because this is where Special Agent Turdbro's celebrated photographic and phototelepathic memory rose to the fore, when he ......

[turboplanner]

.....could remember every serial number of the boxes of Rinso which the drug cartels used as a base for Heroin (not many people know that, so NES readers are advised not to tell anyone of the might get garrotted or even worse ........)

Edited June 13 by turboplanner

[Captain]

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....could remember every serial number of the boxes of Rinso which the drug cartels used as a base for Heroin (not many people know that, so NES readers are advised not to tell anyone of the might get garrotted or even worse ....

..... they might use $500,000 of high grade China White to wash a load of clothes, which .......

[onetrack]

.....would lead to serious repercussions, such as knee-capping, and even daylight executions in public cafes of some of our more colourful "local businessmen" figures.

 

What would be even worse, the housewives of Moorabbistan would end up on TV, complaing that their Rinso didn't wash as white as the previous ads stated it would, and that their washing was being used as the "before" photos, in the "before" and "after" photos in the TV advertising. The loudest complainant was Mabel from Frankston, who said...........

 

Edited June 13 by onetrack

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, onetrack said:

The loudest complainant was Mabel from Frankston, who said........

.... that she had washed her undies in about $1 million of Rinso "artisanal junk" (Mabel knows all of the street slang), and apart from 2 Cartel accountants committing suicide when they learnt of this, her undies were still .......

Edited June 13 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......being pinched daily by the local coke consumers who.............

[Captain]

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......being pinched daily by the local coke consumers who.............

.... by far prefer that to Pepsi and just happen to also steal undies so that they can .....

[Captain]

18 hours ago, Captain said:

.... by far prefer that to Pepsi and just happen to also steal undies so that they can .....

..... be sold more by Turbine Frilly Panties Inc (Sydney Stock Exchange ticker TFPI), including their subsidiary Turbine Cotton Gussets and Liners P/L.

 

As a double earner, a typical tactic of Turbine Corporation, the stolen nickers were then sold through Turbine Vinnies PLC, but the economics of this only worked if they remained unwashed, as economic modelling showed that laundry costs would kill this little earner.

 

Turbo is also worried that his theft of the Vinnies name will see him excommunicated if he ever goes to Mass, but then you need to be dedicated if you want to compete with Elon as to total wealth and the numbers of kiddies, so Turbo decided to see a chiropractor to have his back put back in, and then concentrate on the latter, before he ......

[turboplanner]

....launched BrasRUs  featuring rainbow colours worn by ................

 

Turbo is embarrassed to report that he failed the recent CIA Gun Tests. Sure, he had been out the night before at the IRISH bash and crash but it's just not fair.

[onetrack]

.........the Gurrugurrang Tribe. Not many people know that Turbo can trace part of his family lineage to this Tribe, which once inhabited all the mountainous country in VicManistan. 

The mountain-climbing abilities of the Gurrugurrang were well-known, and it is this lineage that gave Turbo his love for the mountainous regions of Afghanistan, and his love of ambushing enemies.

 

Add to that, the Gurrugurrang decorated themselves with many brightly colourful adornments, sourced from bird feathers, coloured stones, ochre, and resin from native plants. They were also known to use bottle caps for decoration, once the Europeans started leaving them lying around.

 

This tendency to become human bower birds (and the Gurrugurrang decorated themselves to attact females), has shown up in Turbos almost constant desire to decorate himself with female-attracting devices, such as Corvettes, aircraft, and........

[Captain]

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

This tendency to become human bower birds (and the Gurrugurrang decorated themselves to attact females), has shown up in Turbos almost constant desire to decorate himself with female-attracting devices, such as Corvettes, aircraft, and.......

..... numerous other baubles, but after spending a fortune on FADs (although some did work [U know what that means] and when that happens he always cuts a notch + the female's name {when he took notice or could recall it} into each that have worked), he realized that a sparkling personality would help a lot, or even any personality at all.

 

Turbo fitted in so well with the Gurrugurrang, that he had his nose .....