The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

She'd noticed some big sheds surrounded by high hedges and white painted fenced paddocks right next to the stream which was happily running down to bulls canning facility.

 

It was only after a social media campaign by customers saying just bull was P!ss, that bull rushed up to the brewery and .......

.... realized that his Equine operation (a partnership initiated by bull with an Arab Sheik and a Russian Oligarch, so there are therefore AK47s in every stall), was draining all of the horsey runoff directly down to the just bull concoction joint/Brewery ("Brewery" is a fancy term used by Turbo for what in reality is a tap, a hose, a few pots and pans, and a 2nd hand canning line).

 

This gave just bull what many considered to be a unique flavor and bull was keen to retain that advantage, save that tetanus is always a risk in horse poo & downstream products, but bull evaluated that risk and found that he could .....

Edited March 31 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........mitigate the tetanus by adding three drops of Ivermectin. Turbo used to feed Invermectin to his cage birds to eliminate worms, so he was a but surprised, but he figured a worming couldn't be a bad thing for the nightclub set.

Cappy's mention of the Russian Oligarch, brought back some uneasy memories for Turbo. He used to be an Oligarch too. Luckily, with prayer and treatment sessions from his psychologist Georgio Thanamopulos, he eventually began to lean a normal life, although.............

[Captain]

..... because the Thanamopulos family were the brickies that built the Tower of Pizza, George was the ideal bloke, as a psychologist, life coach and part time Melbournistan cabbie, to help Turbo with his leaning.

Not many people know that in Vicmanistan, leaning a normal life is not what it used to be, and that is why Dezi left his job as a full time Sunday School Teacher to also try to lean a normal life, and look what happened to him.

Turbo's time in the Sovereign Citizens movement was relatively short lived, as he didnt have any more gold coins, and he leaned a bit too hard to the .....

Edited Wednesday at 05:27 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

Carlton side and Spaghetti Junction side.

However he pushed onward with the belief of "Lean left; Lean right" and this won him many .......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Carlton side and Spaghetti Junction side.

However he pushed onward with the belief of "Lean left; Lean right" and this won him many .......

..... new Sovereign Citizen friends, and quite a few female admirers too, as when Turbo leaned to the left, the ladies noted that he dressed to the right (like a counterbalancing pendulum), and when he leaned to the right it flipped over like the bob in a grandfather clock ..... but with Turbo being the stud that he is, it was more like a cross between a metronome set on fast, and a feisty 8 ft King Brown trying to escape a snake keeper's bag.

 

However, it was Georgy T that then introduced Turdbro to the darker side of Melbournistan society, when they threw a hijab over him, went into the western suburbs and proposed some .....

[bull]

On 01/04/2026 at 8:10 AM, Captain said:

Cappy apologizes for interjecting here, but having been contacted by numerous interstate and overseas NES readers over the past few minutes, I wish to make the following points:

 

1.  While Turbo has admitted here to following the "Maccas" principle, I must stress that he has not been investigated nor indicted for following the "Epstein" principle .......... although, on reflection, I do need to disclose that Tubb does have a PA who is the daughter of a Mossad agent.

 

2. Turbo's latest post would appear to confirm, thankfully, as it had been suspected/asserted by some of his detractors on Wreck Flying, that Tubb was not Dezi Freeman in real life.

....................and to get back to the story! Turbo now faced the dog head in front of him whilst thinking about hitting up Xi to host the inaugural JUST BULL flying machine competition [LONG OVERDUE AVREF] of intrepid ex ................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

....................and to get back to the story! Turbo now faced the dog head in front of him whilst thinking about hitting up Xi to host the inaugural JUST BULL flying machine competition [LONG OVERDUE AVREF] of intrepid ex ................

..... AUF types, all of whom were wearing their Wreck Flying cravats and their AOPA boxers, but while that did look to be a bit of a w@nk, all were thankful for receiving the hundreds of thousands of JUST BULL sponsorship dollars, which allowed them to ......

Edited Wednesday at 11:01 PM by Captain

[Captain]

And ..... with its usual tight discipline, the NES is now back in 2-story mode.

 

No wonder this site is more popular worldwide that the Joe Rogan & Sam Newman podcasts combined.

[Captain]

Financial Results just released a little before midnight on Easter Thursday - Record results have been reported by Turbine Extra Sharp Machetes P/L, and also by their sister company Turbine Machete Bin Fabricators, Painters and Distributors PLC.

 

During his comments, their Chairman, Turbo, advised "These results signify that free enterprise capitalism is alive and well in OZ, as we were able to find a solution, after creating the need, in a manner somewhat similar to Pfizer and Billy Fences, and a recent pandemic or two." Then he added with typical Turbo candid humor "But we are pretty confident that the paint won't get knocked off the inside of the bins by machete blades, so there should be another quid to be made, as they will be resaleable in future as Vinnies Clothes Bins".

 

Edited Thursday at 09:07 PM by Captain

[onetrack]

.........issue financial reports on the Thursday before Easter Friday, after all the markets were closed, and financial regulators were heading off on their Easter break - which nowadays, thanks to extremely limited fuel supplies, means heading out on a bicycle, towing a boat with oars.

 

Nonetheless, the well-timed release meant that there was no scrutiny of the financial reports - and the mentions of machetes, the dubious "Just Bull" products investment, the further advances into bin-manufacturing and distribution (which seemed like an odd choice for a company whose primary income and focus was on Cat farms) - and the even more dubious numbers (some people referred to them as "unrealistic") at the bottom of the reports, were all overlooked. 

 

It was a master stroke of genius planning from the Master of Diversion himself. Turbo knew the markets would be concentrating on Iran War news and petrol supplies (or rather, the lack of them), and his plan worked to perfection - except for the one annoying part-time journo from the West, Onetruth, who wrote an opinion piece for the West Australian, opining that the financial reports of TESM and TMBFPD were overly optimistic, bordering on fantasy, and possibly even rating on a par with Trump speeches for truthfulness, accuracy and.............

 

 

(just to keep readers properly informed, here's the financial regulators heading off for the weekend. It's good to see them exercising restraint during this dreadful period of fuel shortages....)

 

[turboplanner]

.....but after offering another opinion and opining once again how good the two GIANTs were, Bull pinned him down real good, and OT was gasping and squeaking as that giant, Bull who had grown like Arnold Shortsnegger through eating Bull Prawns.  Turbo had missed all this hissing and dissing, overcome by his Leaders "Speech to the Nation". He was teary-eyed at the way Al Albo Alberesy had turned a possible firing for failing to supply that essential product, fuel to the service stations so they could turn the owners into Maharajas, and artfully convinced the Nation that 25 million of us had screwed up, and were the cause of this. Turbo had taken every word he said as gospel, and was in the middle of telling Cappy that, as Al Albo has said, this was all his fault. He received a smack in the teeth from Cappy who berated him as the person responsible on their Social Media Platform in front of 352 million people, and before he could stop himself Turbo pointed the bone back at Al Albo and the whole of Eastern Sydney erupted into nasty flag waving including Pennny, who by definition had been dammed by Al Albo along with the rest of us. Ever so slightly the mood of the people turned.............

 

[Turbo congratulates OT's response to his Albo Easter call to enjoy the holiday but don't drive anywhere with this generation-breaking way of still getting to the lakes with the boat, but respectfully points out that it doesn't have the red and white clearance lights as required in WA.]

[bull]

On 02/04/2026 at 10:04 AM, Captain said:

And ..... with its usual tight discipline, the NES is now back in 2-story mode.

 

No wonder this site is more popular worldwide that the Joe Rogan & Sam Newman podcasts combined.

Not called "The neverEnding Story " for nuthing old Ratty............🤷‍♀️

[turboplanner]

said Bull and ducked because the nickname Cappy hated the most was old Ratty.

Even now he was seething at the inference that he was old and had straggly hair.

He prided himself with having Abraham Lincoln-like flowing blackl hair, and an elegant stance, and Turbo testify that he usually turns all heads in a room of senior executives and their wives at black tie functions. (usually accompanied by whispers of "whats that smell".

It was on one of these nights that..............

 

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He prided himself with having Abraham Lincoln-like flowing blackl hair, and an elegant stance, and Turbo testify that he usually turns all heads in a room of senior executives and their wives at black tie functions. (usually accompanied by whispers of "whats that smell".

It was on one of these nights that.....

.... some bloke stood behind Old Ratty as he watched little Joany Sutherland at the Mudgee Opera House, and he heard the familiar click of a hammer being pulled back & cocked.

 

Not wishing to do a full and complete impersonation of Old Abe (who always looked a bit like an anorexic Bob Carr), Old Ratty took up defensive position #4 by hiding behind the lady (and she could certainly smell that smell) in the seat beside him and ....

 

Is this Abe or Bob or the Old Rodent? Only Mrs Lincoln would know because of that embarrassing birthmark on the end.

Edited Saturday at 11:35 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....started to relax; but the #4 position had been tried before and they were waiting...................

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....started to relax; but the #4 position had been tried before and they were waiting...................

... with a 6 shot revolver, and one particularly wealthy would-be assassin had a Desert Eagle chambered in .50 Action Express, so hiding was useless unless inside a Sherman tank, and even that would be marginal. So El Ratto did the next best thing .......... and surrendered ...................................... but with the righteous intent to use his well-proven unarmed close combat skills to .....

[Captain]

For any of our hundreds of thousands of NES readers that have not been to WA, below is a photo of what Abe/Bob looked like after he went over the WA for a couple of hours to kiss a baby.

[turboplanner]

.......extend his arms and grab both the baddies by the goolies, and then do a back somersault which had the baddies screaming in tears.

As Cappy patted himself down and waited for cameras that weren't coming, Turbo looked across at the Challenger and invited Cappy back to the land of the $15 billion dollar woman, Victoria itself.

 

"Only if I can bring Abecar" Turbo looked at his white doeskin seats, but Abecar had started to smile , red dirt and all.

 

Little did they know ........
 

[onetrack]

.........that Abecar was actually a shape-shifting alien, and that he/she/it/them (we must be careful as regards gender today) could transform from a cheery, red-dust-covered, top-hat wearing, 19th century politician/miner/journalist/snake-oil salesman (take your pick), into a.........................

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.........that Abecar was actually a shape-shifting alien, and that he/she/it/them (we must be careful as regards gender today) could transform from a cheery, red-dust-covered, top-hat wearing, 19th century politician/miner/journalist/snake-oil salesman (take your pick), into a.........................

.....n imitation of Xi while squinting in the "Come hither" look that has won him so many accolades from the radies over the years.

 

And speaking of accolades from the fairer sex, see the below photos of Abecar.

 

The 1st is from his visit to Moorabbin to solicit donations from Tubb and from Turbine Industries, + to see if he could crack on to Turbinia.

 

The 2nd photo was taken after a baby kissing visit to West Hobart.

 

Xi loves Stray-ya and always puts his feet up when he comes down to watch the cricket and to fly some raps in the simurator, on the way to sitting for his multi-engine A380 licence.

 

His sim training was going well and he was always well ahead of the 380, before he .....