The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

....dog, a common method of keeping warm in the freezing night which OT had shown him, because OT usually slept with dogs. Trump of course, a little sensitive, took it the wrong way and said "I'm busy trying to make a deal here!, how about sending an aircraft carrier th straighten Hormoos!"

XI laughed and said "Our carriers made in China, everyone starter button broke!"

Trump saw OT laughing ruefully and .............

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the Western tate itself

I assume that all NES readers are of the high IQ variety, same like the contributors, and as a follow up to Tubb's above post, all will have head of a potentate?

 

Well Qi has identified WA and its leaders are impotentates.

[Captain]

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Trump saw OT laughing ruefully and .......

..... spoke with Be Be about Hezbollah sleeper cells in WA, being controlled by some bloke/target Ayatollah One bin Track.

 

Soon Onesie's phone was hacked, he had a new pager, he told his 3 favourite girlfriends not to come around to the usual love-nest (& only one at a time too for a while), plus most importantly he .......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... One bin Track .....

OT has been known for quite a while as "One bin", as being the carefree rebel that he is, OT has always put his bottles and cans in with the normal garbage.

[bull]

13 hours ago, Captain said:

I assume that all NES readers are of the high IQ variety,

What?????

[Captain]

9 hours ago, bull said:

What?????

Have the visitors gone yet?  ......... As someone has eaten my grapes?

[turboplanner]

.......and as Cappy searched for his grapes, a shadow fell over the verandah in the Spratleys where the Chairman XI, Cappy, Bull, One Bin Track and Turbo sat planning their next moves.

 

"Trump's giving me the Sh!ts" said Xi and they all agreed they were in the same boat; anyone who wears orange make up had to have some sort of problem so they came up with a plan.....................................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"Trump's giving me the Sh!ts" said Xi and they all agreed they were in the same boat; anyone who wears orange make up had to have some sort of problem so they came up with a plan........

..... then realised that One bin Tlack himself was a dull red ochre color from exposure to (decade after decade after decade etc (you know what I mean as there have been lots of 'em)) the prevailing WA windblown sand, bull was the colour of cooked prawns and smelt like that, or was it the Bone Bordello, and Cappy spent 6 hours a day in an electric sun-bed and mood control pod, with whale sounds and running water that makes him pee involuntarily every 40 minutes (sometimes like he used to when on a 7 hour cross-country flight in his ASW28 [avref but only GFA in relevance]).

 

So it was up to Turbo and Xi, who himself has a sort of dusky brown Genghis Kahn type of colouring, and after reflecting on the above it was agreed that Turbs was the only one that is still as anglo-pink as the day that he was born, even though he had ...... 

[turboplanner]

16 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... then realised that One bin Tlack himself was a dull red ochre color from exposure to (decade after decade after decade etc (you know what I mean as there have been lots of 'em)) the prevailing WA windblown sand, bull was the colour of cooked prawns and smelt like that, or was it the Bone Bordello, and Cappy spent 6 hours a day in an electric sun-bed and mood control pod, with whale sounds and running water that makes him pee involuntarily every 40 minutes (sometimes like he used to when on a 7 hour cross-country flight in his ASW28 [avref but only GFA in relevance]).

 

So it was up to Turbo and Xi, who himself has a sort of dusky brown Genghis Kahn type of colouring, and after reflecting on the above it was agreed that Turbs was the only one that is still as anglo-pink as the day that he was born, even though he had ...... 

.....slapped as much tanning paint on as Trump does. Not many people know that Turbo was appointed a Generous Warrior by Chairman XI and even less people knew how much money it cost, and together they decided Chairman XI should proclaim the Torres Strait as Tolles Spartacus, part of Mainland China. Turbo did the press release and copied the US style where someone who was a nobody, presented himself as the successor to Trump.....and much tougher. Albo immediately spat the dummy in the dirt and said it belonged to Australia, bur XI cleverly pointed out it was owned by the Aborigines and had its own flag, so ............

 

[Captain]

..... the Tolles Stlait Isrands were conquerable in their own light.

 

Albo immediately appointed Chris Bowen as Chief Negotiator, Xi offered him 2 superseded solar panels and the deal was sealed.

 

In usual Turbo style, he .....

[Captain]

A typical Sunday at Onesie's joint.

That cottage is one of many used to house staff. 

The main residence is a few clicks up the driveway so as not to have to look at the common folk that keep the OT pastoral holdings some of the most efficient in the west.

But oh ........ the sand.

 

 

Edited Sunday at 04:17 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

On 28/03/2026 at 12:49 PM, Captain said:

..... the Tolles Stlait Isrands were conquerable in their own light.

 

Albo immediately appointed Chris Bowen as Chief Negotiator, Xi offered him 2 superseded solar panels and the deal was sealed.

 

In usual Turbo style, he .....

called in Onetrack to review the documents and as usual, the contrary little prick found an error  and it was the Sino/British Empire war all over again with bottles being thrown, windows being broken until finally there was an Agreement. They were just on the point of shaking hands when..........

 

 

 

[turboplanner]

Just now, turboplanner said:

called in Onetrack to review the documents and as usual, the contrary little prick found an error  and it was the Sino/British Empire war all over again with bottles being thrown, windows being broken until finally there was an Agreement. They were just on the point of shaking hands when..........

 

 

 

Wuntrak's Homestead Paddock

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

They were just on the point of shaking hands when..........

..... Wuntrak's Homestead Paddock was the site where Xi's Goldey had a cr@p on his astroturf, then dragged his bum (the Goldey, not Xi) in order to get rid of the sand and the tapeworms, before it ..... 

Edited Sunday at 09:33 PM by Captain

[bull]

12 hours ago, Captain said:

..... Wuntrak's Homestead Paddock was the site where Xi's Goldey had a cr@p on his astroturf, then dragged his bum (the Goldey, not Xi) in order to get rid of the sand and the tapeworms, before it ..... 

..................became the main course for that night s dinner. Xi looked at Cappy and....................

Edited Monday at 10:10 AM by bull

[turboplanner]

Cappy looked at Turbo and Turbo said he'd prefer fish. So it started again; Turbo looked at ...........................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy looked at Turbo and Turbo said he'd prefer fish. So it started again; Turbo looked at ....

.... Xi who blinked (but nobody could see whether he actually did or not) and Xi looked at his CCP Chef before saying "Can you make these tapeworms taste rike fish?" to which the chef leplied "No wollys Boss" and the razy susan was immediatery filled with sauces and other stuff specially designed to go with that enigmatic taste that tapeworms have after they have been cooked in fish sauce.

 

The meal started well with a great deal of whatever is the Chinese equivalent of bon vivant, but then Tubb wanted to show off his Oxford & Cambridge trained dinner party repartee, so he introduced a mild tone of .....

 

Plesident Xi brinking

 

Plesident Xi not brinking

Edited Monday at 08:38 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........smut.

Like Ho Chi Min, Stalin and Gerald Ford, Xi had been educated at Oxford, and if there was one thing that made him screw up his face, it was English jokes because he never got the punchline and they would never tell him. The photo above shows Turbo's mistake, he was just about to be given "No tariff" status buy XI whan it slipped out. Xii turned and said, you getting Ingrish no XXXXXXX tariif now - we buy nothing, or grain from Potter in Russia.

Turbo sniggered, but ...............

[bull]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........smut.

Like Ho Chi Min, Stalin and Gerald Ford, Xi had been educated at Oxford, and if there was one thing that made him screw up his face, it was English jokes because he never got the punchline and they would never tell him. The photo above shows Turbo's mistake, he was just about to be given "No tariff" status buy XI whan it slipped out. Xii turned and said, you getting Ingrish no XXXXXXX tariif now - we buy nothing, or grain from Potter in Russia.

Turbo sniggered, but ...............

...............Xi cut him off with a tray held out and said,,,To our esteemed guest Turbo we present the delicacy of the head with the eyes ,,all you do is prise..............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

...............Xi cut him off with a tray held out and said,,,To our esteemed guest Turbo we present the delicacy of the head with the eyes ,,all you do is prise..............

..... out & pop down each of the peepers, then shove a grape or 2 into Riny's weeping sockets, ...... and if you can get past that without having a dump, I will get out desert, which is a roadkilled (from our grill to yours) Tassy Tiger, full of natural yoghurt, that has been .....

Edited yesterday at 01:07 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........mixed in a Tasmanian Readymix (after hours deal of course) truck at Bulls, South Island Dairy Farm. (Turbo had invited Bull to the Spratleys and the prick had stitched up a Yoghurt deal for the massive Chinese market behind his back).

 

Luckily this was the Spratleys because Bull's other product "Just Bull" had doubled the profit of his prawn business.........................

 

[onetrack]

.....because "Just Bull" was exactly that. It was made from abbatoir leftovers, prawn leftovers, and vegie shop "expired date" discards. But it was all wrapped in a neat thick pastry wrap (just like dim sims, Chiko rolls and spring rolls) so you can't see what's inside them.

 

This is a classic style of Chinese food presentation, just as they bury mystery meats inside thick sweet doughy coating and call it "honey chicken". We won't even discuss "claypot chicken" here.

 

Bull's "gourmet", "Just Bull" treats started selling like hot scones at a church fete. This was because all the purchasers thought they were getting a gourmet beef snack - when the truth was, Bull was simply using his name as a selling point. He thought that, because he was known worldwide due to his status on the NES, his name would supercharge sales of the treats, and..............

[Captain]

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

Bull's "gourmet", "Just Bull" treats started selling like hot scones at a church fete. This was because all the purchasers thought they were getting a gourmet beef snack - when the truth was, Bull was simply using his name as a selling point. He thought that, because he was known worldwide due to his status on the NES, his name would supercharge sales of the treats, and........

..... that was when he developed the idea of selling a "just bull" sports caffein-based drink using the beans from his Tasmanian Coffee Plantation.

 

That plantation had been a bit of a failure to date, but apart from it being in the wrong soil, at the wrong elevation (AMSL - avref), at the wrong lat and long (avmapref), with the wrong temperature range, the wrong humidity and no low-paid natives to pick it, bull now realised that the advice he had received from Turbine Plantation Consultants had been a bit optimistic, and just a little .......

 

Here is the design that Turbine marketing came up with, although Turbine Legal advised that litigation was possibly in the pipeline.

bull didn't care as he is an aggressive no capitals risk taker.

[turboplanner]

..........careless.

Turbo in recent times had been following the Macdonalds principle and hiring 14 year olds for much of the ground work in his corporations. They'd turned into a bitching, spitting, loud music playing mess, but the costs were down and Tiffany had said she was a good surveyor (and she was...at serving meals). When sent out to survey the springwater source (free water) for the just bull operation, She'd noticed some big sheds surrounded by high hedges and white painted fenced paddocks right next to the stream which was happily running down to bulls canning facility.

 

It was only after a social media campaign by customers saying just bull was P!ss, that bull rushed up to the brewery and .................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo in recent times had been following the Macdonalds principle and hiring 14 year olds for much of the ground work in his corporations.

Cappy apologizes for interjecting here, but having been contacted by numerous interstate and overseas NES readers over the past few minutes, I wish to make the following points:

 

1.  While Turbo has admitted here to following the "Maccas" principle, I must stress that he has not been investigated nor indicted for following the "Epstein" principle .......... although, on reflection, I do need to disclose that Tubb does have a PA who is the daughter of a Mossad agent.

 

2. Turbo's latest post would appear to confirm, thankfully, as it had been suspected/asserted by some of his detractors on Wreck Flying, that Tubb was not Dezi Freeman in real life.

Edited yesterday at 09:12 PM by Captain